Verily Cross-posted, while laughing hystrically, from Liberal Rapture, where The Lightbringer’s One and Only Chosen Channeler who does not reside in the MSM speaketh on behalf of The One.
From the GOSPEL OF THE LIGHTBRINGER. This is the only known gospel in which the ONE speaks to us in the first person.
Chapter 6
Verses 66-666So, my children is has come to passeth that I have it sowneth up
(except if you count today’s Gallup poll.)
I have now purchaseth mucho airtimeth on all the media outlets
For 30 minutes I will speaketh of why I am the one who is to be your leader
and YOU will listen
For the kingdom of heaven belongeth to those who come with me
to the promised land of “cool”
For I am cool.Since the time of my birtheth in Hawaii or Kenya
The wise men have come to worship at my altar.
Look to Ayres, and Rezko
and Wright and Olberman
Are they not wise men?Look to the Democratic Socialist of amerika
And Frank Marshall Davis
Are they not wise?Look to Odinga and Huffington
and Hamas and Oprah and Soros
All have endorsed me.For we must taketh the wealth of the middle and give it to the rich
while we sayeth we are giving it to the poor.For we must say we are leaving Iraq
While we stay in Iraq.For we must bring Israel to heal
and spliteth Jerusalem
As my squire Joe Biden has warned.For now is the time for all to come together
FOR ME.I am the Truth and the Light and the Way
No one shall come before me and expect to be rewarded
I say unto you: It shall be easier for Bill O to get into MY Lincoln bedroom
that it shall be for a man who does not follow me to get into heaven.So you much watch my show on Wednesday
and you must be hypnotized by my greatness.Thus speaketh the Lord.
Now I must go out back for a smoketh.
***Photo: The People’s Cube
The People’s Cube.
Filed under: Barack Obama, Narcisscism Watch, Satire
--Graphic by Freedom Fairy
--Graphic by Dances With Pumas
"This is not culture. This is not custom. This is criminal."
That’s hilarious. Don’t you know Barky really gets pissed about these posts that ridicule him?
BTW I keep meaning to compliment Moderator Kitten on how spiffy he looks in his tuxedo and white gloves.
Please don’t make Moderator Kitteh Bill’s head any bigger! He has already asked for a raise! Must. Ignore. Moderator. Kitteh!
That is too funny. And looking at the Fox News site this am, things are not as inevitable as obots and eyores think. I have to wonder why he’s running his infomercial on Univision, BET & TV One, and launching an intensive GOTV effort (attempting to-needs volunteers). I thought he had those votes pretty sown up? No? They want volunteers at churches too-perhaps they should take the above painting and message with them!!!
Yes, UW! Ignore. moderator. kitteh. Also if you tell him he has to do the cha-cha and give you a big kiss on the lips that should keep him from bugging you for a time.
Sharon,
He really hated it when those ads ridiculing him eliminated his bounce. Remember all the discussion about how great his speech was the next day? Oh wait, there was none. Sarah Palin was annonced as VP that day! Just trying to remember the good times.
I’m surprised someone isn’t selling gun cabinets that read “In case of a McCain victory, break glass.”
P4P-the people who would riot in an Obama loss would do the same if he won. In any case, Obama’s race-card throwing surrogates and their collaborators in the media should comprise the barrier between the angry crowd and the riot police. If previous behavior is any indicator, Barry sure won’t go on TV and try to calm things down.
Mornin’ Uppity. I refuse to watch this 30 minutes of Lucifer’s Rapture! Had any of us been in heaven when Lucifer FORCED his proclamation of fairness, I am persuaded that it went down something like this obamanation campaign. Again, every word of Rules for Radicals, written by Saul Alinsky, sounds exactly like the radicals in Paradise Lost and that other satanic literature about Mephistopholies — I can’t remember the name. I flipped through these poems the other day just to make some comparisons with Rules for Radicals, and the loons in those stories certainly sound like Obama’s contemporary campaign and governing strategies!
I’m praying for our country’s salvation from the hands of Hell. And here it is Halloween — just in time for the ghouls and evil spirits to rise! HOW EXTRAORDINARY. The conflicts and contradictions and confusions and CRAP from The One sounds every bit like spiritual warfare in the first degree. This has just gotten much worse than politics as usual.
Other than those thoughts, I am feeling fine!
When McCain OVERCOMES this great dark thundercloud, at the defining moment, the sun will come out and BLEACH US ALL WHITE AS SNOW! Raaaaaaaaaaacism. I am mortified to use phrases nowadays that I used to think nothing of. I am afraid of the word “white.” And more and more I feel pushed to be more far-right than I ever thought about becoming. I mean, before this election, I was neither political nor overtly religious. I considered myself normal for a Southerner. Every word that comes out of my mouth now seems to “stereotype” me, when all I mean is to express my dissenting opinion on some of this ideology. WOW.
Did anyone see Tito the Builder defending Joe the Plumber. These regular people (the proletariate in the book 1984 — now called the middle class vote, which is dismissive and disrespectful) are brave souls, out baring their souls, and trying to get the common word out for the good of everybody who feels they have no connection to this weird man Obama. I wonder why more Proles like myself aren’t in the streets actively raising hell about the takeover of our country by George Soros and the Chicago Elite Political Machine, which is obviously a raaaaaaaaaacist organization based on its interest only in promoting one race over another! I mean, Sarah Palin is hanging from her neck out in California and Obama, the Savior, hasn’t gone out there and taken her down to SAVE HER, and everyone gets to continue looking dead at the figure of a WOMAN hanging by her neck til dead. That is a funny Obama campaign joke! Women do not feel this is funny — why isn’t that against the law as a hate crime????
Oh — I read in the book “The Case AGainst Obama” that the reason Hillary was ditched as the Deocratic candidate had extraordinarily MORE to do with the abortion issue than I previously thought. There is a whole chapter dedicated to WHY Obama was considered The Abortion Savior (contradictory term), and it’s because of the stance he connived to use the pro-choice viewpoint for votes. His views, his voting record, and his words all substantiate that he wants no boundaries on any abortion technique — live babies, dead babies, premature babies — it does not matter to him. Let them die — women have the right to choose, including putting babies born alive as many as 10 or 20 times a year in Chicago hospitals into a broom closet to finish suffocating to death. The book says Hillary was not liberal enough! It always says that “after the born-alive abortion,” the mothers do not go to THIS CLOSET and watch their poor Downs Syndrome premie SUFFOCATE. However, “advocates” for WOMEN (mothers) like Obama do not “advovate” for other forms of choice, such as a helpless naked fetus. No. He only wants to help the poor and “some” women! That makes him NARAL’s instant hero! I did not realize the brazen determination of this group, the what-seems-like their desparation and anxiety. Losing the right to an abortion has them caught up in a cult-like trance with this dangerous man. WHY on earth do they think abortion rights would be appealed anyway?
I’ve never been involved in the abortion issue or politics, but when you read this book and realize to what extent Barach Obama has gone in order to CAPTURE the pro-choice vote, you begin to understand his interest is NOT on life — no one’s — not women’s lives, not babies’ lives, and not America’s life. His interest is not even on DEATH! His interest in this group of paranoid women who FEAR a “right” is going to be taken away from them regards ONLY HIMSELF! He is a death machine to us all like Hitler was, and he is a fool like Hitler was, and a fool with power like Hitler behaves foolishly because a short conscience, combined with denial of reality and short-sightedness, makes BAD DECISIONS with the authority to carry them out. As soon as a despot gets what he wants, “the issue” no longer has importance TO HIM anymore. That makes his stance on abortion a “PLOY” to get votes.
And this is the same man we’re talking about putting in charge of nuclear weapons and America’s old people and young people’s minds.
I don’t mean any harm here toward abortion activists or NARAL or any woman’s private life — I am putting my emphasis on their hero. And THEIR HERO is not a REAL hero. He is a con artist, a fraud, a liar, a man full of hatred for white people in particularly. We may be in danger, and here some women go licking a very foolish man’s feet as if he his LOVE is PERSONAL. This female behavior by NARAL exactly duplicates the behavior that I have read previously that THEY HATE IN WOMEN. I thought they wanted to be FREE, to be unshackled, to give voice to women’s issues — and here they go debasing themselves in order to “secure” the interests of a black man (raaaaacist, I know, I know) who is his liberal, radical, leftist, socialistic, Marxist, communist orientation, a man who is eventually going to take WOMEN where they do not want to go, a man who is “using” the abortion issue to drive HIMSELF to a THRONE where, when given authority, he, personally, will throw women, pregnant women, and their babies under the bus, as usual, after they have been rode hard “as an issue” then put up wet!!!!
And this is to satisfy nothing but HIS PLEASURE IN HIMSELF!!!!! Now, ladies, is the poor account of female behavior that I am sure the feminist movement was enacted to PREVENT! We need a savior, all right. We need a savior who is FEMALE, a female with more issues on her mind than how to win an election by clawing and tearing the female gender to death like meat in a wolf pack! Our whole country’s security and safety is at stake, and where is NARAL’s mind? What is it trying to protect here? This is almost as abyssmal as watching Obama focus entirely on the black race and poverty. What’s the problem, you might say, with emphasis on abortion, racism, and poverty?
It leaves out entire sectors of the population. It leaves some of us standing out in the cold, standing in tattered groups look at our fallen social ideals ……. like real freedom, real independence, real dignity, real courage, real compassion …………….you know, things like that THAT DON’T SEEM TO BE ISSUES IN THIS PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN! Getting caught up in simple rhetoric is sickening!
Read the novel “CHANGES” by Alma Aida Aidoo (gosh, I can’t remember how to spell her name). She is an African writer, and this novel so painfully and honestly explores the black male behavior pattern AGAINST black females in a country where polygamy and abuse are rampant!
Women are weird, Uppity. At times, every impression here indicates that many women have no skepticism of WHY a man would so carefully and stratigically “be on their side.” Like a rattlesnake! Skepticism — is that too much to ask for in the case of Obama? The whole feminist movement (with the beautiful and courageous exception of the PUMAs) is caught in a net by a master fisherman, and they don’t even recognize a net when they are looking dead at one. They believe Obama is honest!. How sad. And it is true that their vote can swing this election.
I guess we better hope that all the uninvolved, non-elitist, rural, country bumpkins get off the porch and GO VOTE FOR MCAIN — I wonder how many of us there are and if our vote will swing the pendulum of what Obama calls HISTORY!
i’ve been a member of Rev John SOM’s sect since April. he is truely inspirational.
UW, off topic but quite fascinating
http://directorblue.blogspot.com/2008/10/red-alert-tip-why-times-wont-release.html
Inflammatory!
Thanks Uppity for the post! I love this site. How odd this year has turned out for us clinton folks… but I am grateful as hell for places like this and no quarter.
Hi Uppity,
I think you might find this blog post about an Obama writer who is voting for McCain interesting. Here’s the link:
http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2008-10-28/so-long-obama/1/
Thanks jtf! I have been meaning to do something with that, but life got in the way today.
Hi John at the famous LR!!!!! How could I resist your satire!
Your “why i am for obama” is one of my favorites!
http://uppitywoman08.wordpress.com/2008/07/02/why-i-am-for-obama/
VixieV, on October 29th, 2008 at 12:54 pm Said:
“I’m praying for our country’s salvation from the hands of Hell.”
I hope everyone is joining you in prayer, Vixie, because what we are engaged in is nothing less than the eternal battle between Good and Evil.