In our New World, if you saved your own money all of your life, lived within your own means, didn’t buy more house than you could afford and didn’t run up your charge cards to the point where you can’t pay them off, you are scum.
People who buy low and sell high are so irresponsible, right? That’s no longer good business sense. You need to waste your money and for goodness sakes, saving is so Last Century! Debt is where it’s at!
You are particularly scum if you aren’t spending money right now on a new car you don’t need. You’re a big problem because you are responsible and that’s despicable. That’s bad for the economy. No bailout for you! If on the other hand, you bought a new car you can’t pay for, and if you bought a home that you can’t afford and you didn’t bother reading your mortgage contract and are behind in your payments, we are Here For You! This is particularly so if you bought that home at a ludicrously high price. I mean, everything knows that what goes wayyyyyyyy up never comes down, right?
The same applies at work now. If you want to get ahead, you need to do a crappy job. Once you do a perfectly crappy job, you will get a bonus.
Okay here’s the deal. Go to work today and do the crappiest job you can possibly do. Bring your company down if you can, or at least get a running start at it. Because that’s the route to a nice bonus in this New World.
That’s how it works at Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae. You remember Freddie Mac and his sister Fannie Mae, right? The two companies that were protected by congress while they headed for the tank and started the downward spiral of America’s economy? Well while we are all in a tizzy over AIG, guess who else is coming to the Bonus Dinner with the blessings of Congress?
WASHINGTON — Fannie Mae plans to pay retention bonuses of at least $1 million to four key executives as part of a plan to keep hundreds of employees from leaving the government-controlled company.
Rival mortgage finance company Freddie Mac is planning similar awards, but has not yet reported on which executives will benefit.
The two companies, which together own or back more than half of the home mortgages in the country, have been hobbled by skyrocketing loan defaults. Fannie recently requested $15 billion in federal aid, while Freddie has sought a total of almost $45 billion.
Fannie Mae disclosed its “broad-based” retention program in a recent regulatory filing with the Securities and Exchange Commission. The company was only required to disclose the amounts for the top-paid executives, who will pocket at least $470,000 on top of their base salaries.
The bonuses are more than double last year’s, which ranged from $200,000 to $260,000. Another round of bonuses ranging from $330,000 to $429,000 are planned for next February
That’s right folks. If you are a big shot executive at Freddie Mac or Fannie Mae, all you have to do is stay employed by your disaster of a company which had to be seized by the government, and you get your bonuses! You did such a good job as doing a terrible job, that we don’t want to lose you!
A company spokesman declined further comment.
There’s a surprise.
Don’t worry, everybody. Congress is looking out for you! And they are keeping you really busy hearing about all of this thievery too. Kind of makes you wonder what else they are up to that we don’t even know about. Look here. Don’t look there.
Hey! We haven’t heard from President Obama the past few days have we? Most of the time, we can’t shut him and his administration up, except once in awhile, when everything suddenly goes quiet. Interesting, that.
I think our boardie Mary sums all of this up best:
In true Alinsky fashion, the Globalists have provided us with a little skirmish at point A while they are waging the main battle at point B.