Dead on the pavement with your PUMA

Well would you look at the Piece of Crap GM hopes to put on the road? A death trap named PUMA, of all things.

How come Ralph Nader doesn’t spend more time doing what he was actually good at instead of  running for President? There was a time when Ole Ralph would have had a stroke if he saw something like this rolling off an assembly line. This baby makes the Pinto look like an armoured tank and the Corvair look front-heavy.

One would almost have to put a call in to the Scooter Store  800 number to match this. Actually, the Scooter Store is a better deal  because they have figured out a way to bilk Medicare for their wheels. “It didn’t cost me a thing!”.

Looks for sure like something Congressional Motors would design.

I envision the guy in this photo murmuring, “Dear Jesus. Please don’t let anyone back up.”.

Now I ask you, why bother paying for a “vehicle” such as this when you can just lie in the middle of the street during rush hour and become road pizza for free? Then they could just roll you up and cart you off, and your carbon footprint would be really small,  let me tell you.

Who in his right mind without a Death Wish would expose himself to traffic while moving at 35MPH in this thing? My dog is bigger than this “vehicle”. This would also go over really well in a North East winter, don’t you think? I bet they come out with a little plow attachment (optional).

No wonder GM is circling the drain.

General Motors Corp. is teaming with Segway Inc., maker of the upright, self-balancing scooters, to build a new type of two-wheeled vehicle designed to move easily through congested urban streets.

Yes, I would say one could move very easily in this thing.  Stuck to the grill of an SUV.

According to GM, though, this thing will be smart enough to move out of the way of 4×4’s. Of course,  we won’t know whether or not that idea is defective until the April Consumer Reports Auto Issue comes out in the following year. As I fondly remember my last GM car, the one whose heated windshield shattered like a spider’s web on the first day of winter, the one whose electronic suspension sunk to the ground, and the one whose heated seats began to smoke,  it’s pretty safe to say that there will be plenty of road kill before that ’smart feature’ is debugged in the field.

The Project P.U.M.A. (Personal Urban Mobility and Accessibility) prototype is shown in Brooklyn April 4. GM and Segway say the vehicle could allow people to travel around cities more quickly, safely, quietly and cleanly, and at a lower total cost.

God. They named this POS after PUMAs.

The Segway Personal Transporter was launched with considerable hype eight years ago but practical issues prevented the scooter from becoming a mass-market product, including its relatively high cost and restrictions on its use in many jurisdictions.

I don’t suppose the thought that nobody in his or her right mind would allow a loved one to enter traffic in that thing had anything to do with it, did it?

The struggling auto maker, surviving on a government lifeline, is looking to generate enthusiasm for its increasingly uncertain future ahead of the New York auto show this week.

Generate enthusiasm. Oh yeah. This will do it. I’m rolling my eyes here.

Produce this vehicle, GM, and your future will definitely be certain. Your future non-existence, that is.

GM didn’t say how much the machines would cost,

Whatever the price is, it’s too much.

 

“Dem  newfangled  environmentally friendly GM machines must be biodegradable,  Claude.  I hear they never found his.”

**Thanks for the link, DE. I think.