The Coca Cola Happiness Machine

Posted on February 11, 2010 by Uppity Woman

From the youtube Coca Cola Channel: The Coca Cola Happiness Machine. Apparently, you never know where they will strike next.

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58 Responses

  1. NNIC, on February 11, 2010 at 7:34 PM said:

    Yes, advertising tries to sell people on the notion that they can get something for nothing, and it’s all woven into the nice, corporate image that PR strives to fulfill…

    The point is to make one believe they are special by basically playing to the absolute worse possible character traits…

    Of course, tell this to a bunch of kids who think they know it all…

  2. Uppity Woman, on February 11, 2010 at 7:46 PM said:

    Well stop complaining. They gave the kids the four food groups: Sugar, starch, caffeine and carbohydrates.

  3. Swell528, on February 11, 2010 at 8:08 PM said:

    After working in retail for many years, believe me, it’s the customer that wants something for nothing. It’s like it has become the national past time and people now believe that if they don’t get 80% off, you are ripping them off. And boy, if you don’t throw in something for free on top of the 80% off, you damn well better go get the manager. They could give a damn if the salesperson who just spent two hours waiting on them makes a damn cent on the deal. In fact, I have gotten into my own wallet to process the sale just to get rid of them. It is not always the store that takes the loss. When you ask for a deal that big, you are asking the salesperson to give up their commission. If the manager has to come over, they will take all the commission out of the deal. The salesperson is powerless, because they don’t have the authority to close the deal without the manager. People know this, but I guess they get their kicks out of making people wait on them for free, It’s called retail therapy or something.

  4. Cinie, on February 11, 2010 at 8:09 PM said:

    Oh, Uppity, they gave the kids five food groups: Sugar, starch, caffiene, carbs, and…happium! Gotta have your daily dose of happium, goes so well with Coke or KoolAid and a little after dinner hopiun snort.

  5. Uppity Woman, on February 11, 2010 at 8:32 PM said:

    (slapping head)
    Of course, Cinie! I dang near forgot about the pre-Hopium Happium!

  6. SYD, on February 11, 2010 at 8:40 PM said:

    I don’t get it. I must be really dense or something. How does a mile log sub come out of a coke machine? And why would I want it to?

    SYD

  7. Uppity Woman, on February 11, 2010 at 8:43 PM said:

    SYD, that’s not really the bad part. The bad part is these pissants happily TOOK the sub and ate it, without even knowing who made it, what was in it, or who was handing it to them.

    America’s future leaders.

  8. Uppity Woman, on February 11, 2010 at 8:46 PM said:

    …….kinda like the same way they picked their president…

  9. Uppity Woman, on February 11, 2010 at 8:50 PM said:

    You know, if they really wanted to give those kids a real world experience, they could have handed out things like pink slips and welfare checks out of that coke machine.

  10. Swell528, on February 11, 2010 at 8:55 PM said:

    Maybe that’s why Me-Chelle and Obama want vending machines out of the schools. Who needs them when you have coca cola machines spewing out free shit.

  11. Swell528, on February 11, 2010 at 9:03 PM said:

    10 high school credits for 11 weeks of training…to work for Walmart. OMFG!!!

    http://www.freep.com/article/20100211/NEWS01/100211049/1319/-Walmart-offers-job-training-via-DPS

  12. Uppity Woman, on February 11, 2010 at 9:09 PM said:

    LOL there’s a future for you.

  13. Uppity Woman, on February 11, 2010 at 9:11 PM said:

    Hey when I went to school there were NO vending machines ANYWHERE in the school. YOu went to school to learn, not to snack. You got your break for lunch. If you forgot to make your lunch, tough shit. Then you went back to classes and didn’t eat again till you went home. And nobody died.

  14. Somebody, on February 11, 2010 at 9:12 PM said:

    10 credits holy shit! Wow……OMFG is right.

  15. Somebody, on February 11, 2010 at 9:13 PM said:

    Your school experience sounds underwhelming, LOL!!!

    I was looking for a chance to use that, LMAO!

  16. Uppity Woman, on February 11, 2010 at 9:14 PM said:

    I bet walmart loves it. free slaves.

  17. Uppity Woman, on February 11, 2010 at 9:16 PM said:

    That frigging walmart never does anything unless it benefits them. I think this is a great way to tell kids to lower their expectations. What a horrible idea.

    I guess wally ran out of illegal aliens to exploit.

  18. Uppity Woman, on February 11, 2010 at 9:18 PM said:

    Yeah school was really underwhelming. lol.

    We did stupid things, like learn to read, write and count our change.

  19. Swell528, on February 11, 2010 at 9:21 PM said:

    Not to mention the minium wage waiver for teens up to 90 days. 11 weeks x 7 days = 77 days of cheap labor.

  20. Swell528, on February 11, 2010 at 9:28 PM said:

    Well, now that you mention it Uppity. If they teach them to count change, maybe it would be worth 10 credits.

  21. leslie, on February 11, 2010 at 9:37 PM said:

    UW – you are so right about walmart doing nothing unless it benefits them.

    Last month, Wal-Mart Stores announced the elimination of 11,200 jobs at Sam’s Club warehouses.

    http://www.examiner-enterprise.com/articles/2010/02/04/news/news26.txt

  22. 1539days, on February 11, 2010 at 9:38 PM said:

    Change you can believe in.

  23. leslie, on February 11, 2010 at 9:39 PM said:

    Am I in spam? or did I get sent to my room?

  24. imustprotest, on February 11, 2010 at 9:40 PM said:

    I thought it was Pepsi that gave out all the hopey-changey, YES WE CAN, Obama’s-gonna-pay-my-mortgage, free stuff slogans.

  25. Somebody, on February 11, 2010 at 9:42 PM said:

    It was Pepsi Imust…….Coke couldn’t have that theymustcompeteforbotbusiness

  26. leslie, on February 11, 2010 at 9:48 PM said:

    UW ~ Did you say walmart never does anything unleess it benefits them?

    Last month, Wal-Mart Stores announced the elimination of 11,200 jobs at Sam’s Club warehouses.

    So I would guess they can afford to “train” students and promise them whatever they want.

    http://www.examiner-enterprise.com/articles/2010/02/04/news/news26.txt

  27. imustprotest, on February 11, 2010 at 9:48 PM said:

    theymustcompeteforbotbusiness

    Now that made me really LOL!!
    Good one Somebody! :)

  28. leslie, on February 11, 2010 at 10:12 PM said:

    I don’t know what Pepsi gave away, but they changed the logo to be more like the obama red-white-blue circle of WHATEVER. I now see it everywhere around campus and have for nearly 2 years.

  29. leslie, on February 11, 2010 at 10:14 PM said:

    UW~ I tried to link to a story of walmart layoffs. twice.
    i must’ve landed in no-man’s land or spamalot…

  30. imustprotest, on February 11, 2010 at 10:23 PM said:

    Sorry leslie, that’s what I meant. I was trying to be snarkcastic….[lead balloon falls to the ground]

  31. leslie, on February 11, 2010 at 10:35 PM said:

    imust~
    I love your snarkcasm! I live for snarkcasm . . .
    and for the fixit fairy.

  32. Uppity Woman, on February 11, 2010 at 10:56 PM said:

    leslie, you must have pissed Bill off. Did you give him his nip? Because if you don’t give him his nip, he spams you.

    Yeah walmart laid off all those people because they figured out a way to use child labor. Wonderful people, Walmart. Not. I have long despised them, all the way into the early 90s when I did a technical exchange with them and found out that their entire goal was to take over. If you look at their history, it is clear that walmart single handedly set the pace to lower the standard of living in America. This did it in drips. Everywhere they go, good businesses close because they can’t compete. Then they hire the laid off employees for less money. Walmart is a scourge. I watched them do it over the years. They are truly sickening people and I NEVER and I mean NEVER shop there. There is no way in hell I am going to contribute to them after what they have done to America. In addition to the scourge they already are, they have counseled lower paid employees who have no benefits in how to apply for medicaide. In this way, Walmart gives you toothpaste for 30 cents less and gets you to pay for health insurance for their underpaid employees–out of your property taxes. Still think that toothpaste is a good deal?

    I won’t even get into their KNOWN child labor violations, for which they not only manage to pay the fines,which are pissant to them, but they have also managed to get the Dept of Labor to agree to now give them notice BeFORE they inspect. So that Walmart can boot the 15 year old summer hire they have wieldiing the chain saw.

  33. Uppity Woman, on February 11, 2010 at 11:08 PM said:

    leslie, pepsi’s honcho is a friend of barack. I am too lazy right now to do the research again, but I do believe there were reports that the trip to pakistan was taken by both of them in college days. Remember they also used the pepsi center for the convention as well. That logo isn’t the way it is for nothing.

  36. mcnorman, on February 11, 2010 at 11:20 PM said:

    Free stuff always makes for smiles.
    Wow, I’ll bet this machine might make Patrick Kennedy happy since he is not seeking re election in Rhode Island. I’m stunned.

  37. leslie, on February 11, 2010 at 11:31 PM said:

    OMG Uppity, It all makes sense now. I had NO IDEA that oilsoc and the big guy at Pepsi were so tight. It is so discouraging, isn’t it? (The corporate ownership of our government, that is.) I have friends who have encouraged me to boycott Coke because of its deadly union busting in Columbia and its destructive approach to business. And they are right about Coke. But they could say similar things about Pepsi. And how interesting that in Illinois – especially Chicago – Pepsi has replaced Coke. But it hasn’t replaced Cole in any legitimate way. No. Pepsi reigns because TPTB declared Coke to be product non grata in schools, universities, public sporting arenas, etc. And consequently one has to be persistent to find places, outside of stores, where one can actually find Coke products.

    Me, I drink water. But not bottled if I can help it. And if I have to buy water, I still have to work darn hard to buy a product other than the Pepsi water. (and now I know why. Damn oilsoc!)

  38. mcnorman, on February 11, 2010 at 11:32 PM said:

    leslie, I’m with you. Regular water works best.

  39. Swell528, on February 11, 2010 at 11:39 PM said:

    For some reason, I cannot drink just water. It makes me sloshy. It makes me feel like I got a fishbowl of water in my stomach and I get a headache. I’ve been like that since I was a kid. I thought maybe it’s the chlorine, but bottled, and filtered water does it to me to.

  40. Uppity Woman, on February 11, 2010 at 11:43 PM said:

    The big guy at Pepsi is a woman, sister.

  41. mcnorman, on February 11, 2010 at 11:44 PM said:

    Too bad Swell528. I don’t know how I would fare in the desert heat if it weren’t for water. I avoid the bottled water. My kid had more dental problems when she drank the bottled water than when she drank tap.

  42. leslie, on February 11, 2010 at 11:49 PM said:

    I noticed the big guy was a gal. But not until AFTER I followed the links. Do you really think she is the one oilsoc traveled with? BTW, that middle finger speech wasn’t half bad. It took me a while to read it all, but I did read it.

  43. Uppity Woman, on February 11, 2010 at 11:53 PM said:

    No I don’t know which pepsi person it was. I just remember reading something to that effect, leslie. I’ll try to hunt down the links when I am wider awake.

  44. Uppity Woman, on February 11, 2010 at 11:54 PM said:

    Alas I am a water junkie. It is the only think that really quenches my thirst. Truly, I must be a cheap date. lol.

  45. leslie, on February 11, 2010 at 11:59 PM said:

    I’m off to bed. it’ll be another day in the salt mines tomorrow. but I have to get some rest for tonight. Tomorrow I’ll try to figure out how NOT to piss off MKB again.
    I know this will sound corny, but the Olympics begin tomorrow. I don’t usually watch the opening/closing ceremonies. But I am so looking forward to the competitions. And I usually don’t care who wins, I just so appreciate the talent and the sports events. Woot Woot !

  46. imustprotest, on February 12, 2010 at 12:02 AM said:

    Well for a woman running that corporation looks like she spent a little too much time with our Cellphone vibrating-in-Chief. They advertised an iphone “app” on how to “score” with different women to promote a new product.

    http://www.care2.com/causes/womens-rights/blog/did-pepsi-fail-with-amp-app/

  47. Swell528, on February 12, 2010 at 12:02 AM said:

    My cat is gnawing on my ankle because she wants me to go to bed now. She has a schedule to keep. Nite everyone.

  48. imustprotest, on February 12, 2010 at 12:05 AM said:

    Sorry, it was an itunes app, not iphone……imusthavehadphonesonmybrain

  49. leslie, on February 12, 2010 at 12:06 AM said:

    …and after all those (“just”) words from me, I forgot to say:

    Nite all. ;)

  50. imustprotest, on February 12, 2010 at 12:13 AM said:

    imustputeveryonetosleep
    zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

  51. Mary, on February 12, 2010 at 12:28 AM said:

    “They gave the kids the four food groups: Sugar, starch, caffeine and carbohydrates.”

    You say that like it’s a bad thing.

    My faves were the six-foot sub and the flowers. Very good sight gags. Sure wish that guy would come to my refrigerator..

    .

  52. Irlandese, on February 12, 2010 at 12:41 AM said:

    OMG noooooooooooooooo!!! I’m sitting here, surrounded by diet Pepsi cans like an alcoholic surrounded by empties, reading that stupid address Indra Nooyi gave about America’s ‘Middle Finger’….now I’ve got to give up my last vice–diet Pepsi–as well. It never ends, it never ends….

    sigh.

  53. Uppity Woman, on February 12, 2010 at 12:42 AM said:

    You do know that’s not the real four food groups right? It’s the ones we all prefer though.

  54. Peggy Sue, on February 12, 2010 at 12:45 AM said:

    I guess this proves we’re all vulnerable to the advertiser’s conditioning, Pavlov Dog suckers: Coke provides freebies, excitement, fun, happiness, whatever.

    No wonder Axelrod decided to “brand” candidate Obama: we believe anything, particularly when we’re young. And really, really stupid :0).

    Makes me want to scream. Or slug down a shot of the hard stuff.

    I hadn’t seen this one before, Uppity. And Coka a Cola has its own channel?

    Oh, yikes. Where’s that shot glass???!

  55. Uppity Woman, on February 12, 2010 at 12:45 AM said:

    Coke may just be trying to keep Coke from costing 12 bucks a six pack, leslie.

  56. Mary, on February 12, 2010 at 1:01 AM said:

    Let me tell you two good things my local Walmart does. They hire the handicapped–slightly developmentally diabled, is my impression–and the elderly who want only part-time work, and they don’t hide them in the back somewhere.. These employees are put right out front to be store greeters. One young man, a physically and mentally afflicted truly poor soul, said to me about his job one day,”I have a really good life.” Walmart gave this man what no one else would:the dignity of employent.

    Here’s another Walmart good deed. The husband of one of the women in the crafts department–not even a manager– needed to go to the Mayo Clinic for very special treatment. Walmart paid for them to move to Minnesota for the necessary interval. Mind you, it was the wife, not the sick husband, who was the Walmart employee. And, when the woman returned to CA, her job was waiting for her.

    Walmart may be all the things you say, but at least my local store shows its employees kindness and decency.

  57. Mary, on February 12, 2010 at 1:06 AM said:

    “You do know that’s not the real four food groups right? It’s the ones we all prefer though.”

    LOL, UW. You forgot greasy and salty.

  58. Tuppence 411, on February 12, 2010 at 8:22 AM said:

    I am waiting for a vending machine that will give out those little bottles of wine for a few quarters.

    Now that would put a smile on my face and teach the world to sing…….. not so perfect harmony though.

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