Dear Campbell Brown: K THX BAI!

Campbell Brown is leaving CNN.

I am THIS nasty.

Sit down, sit down!!! Don’t fidget in your seats! No hooting and cheering!

Tonight, in a brutally honest and humbling statement, Brown announced she was leaving the network. “As for why,” she writes, “I could have said, that I am stepping down to spend more time with my children (which I truly want to do). Or that I am leaving to pursue other opportunities (which I also truly want to do). But I have never had much tolerance for others’ spin, so I can’t imagine trying to stomach my own.”

You got that right, Campbell. Stomaching you is simply not possible.

“The simple fact is that not enough people want to watch my program,” she writes in her statement, “and I owe it to myself and to CNN to get out of the way so that CNN can try something else.”

So they fired you and paid off your contract, eh Campbell?  It must be really humiliating to rate below  that ancient artifact with a gas pocket,  Jack Cafferty, not to mention Wolf Blizter and his annoying cadence. Just saying.

While it’s true that we DEFINITELY cannot stand to watch you, Campbell,  we  are glad you finally figured out that  you have the personality of a lobster and, while you are very impressed with yourself,  very few people share your self-assessment. In fact, you are living proof that whenever we assess ourselves, we always do really well.

We understand that being at CNN has not been ‘rewarding’ for you, Campbell, but just imagine how unrewarding it was for the rest of us.

We wish you everything you deserve Campbell. We are going to miss you like we would miss a bad rash.

Here’s the reason we not only do not want to watch your face again, but despise you with every fiber of our being. We await information on which media turkeys hired you, Campbell, so we can make sure nobody watches you there either.

Truly, Campbell, F&*k You.

h/t: DE

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