Hope for the best but prepare for the worst. Or some such crap. Gotta run. I’m only here because I’m one step ahead of the hurricane and had to leave Martha’s because I’m a wuss — and now I’m stuck here with you fools. Anyways, my lobster is getting cold. Hope to see you all alive monday after the “Historic” hurricane, but if not, eh! There are too many people in this country anyways. One thing’s for sure: I’ll make sure I am safe! And I sure hope the ground doesn’t get too wet or I’ll have to wait a couple of days to golf again. I hate when that happens! Michelle says Hi. She’s flying in on her own plane again, because she’s special. I’m sure you don’t mind paying for that. If you do mind, who cares? Anyways, she says to tell you that, if you live through Irene, don’t forget to eat your vegetables! Glad I interrupted whatever you were watching. I love doing that. How else would I get an audience these days? Next week, I’m gonna shove myself in your face during Prime Time just for fun! You know you love me! You people are sooooooo entertaining. Okay, gotta run. Be safe! Or don’t be safe. Whatever.
Freedom Fairy captures Obama as he speaks to his subjects before running off and hiding in his bunker. Thank God there’s a putting green down there!