Newt won’t be able to enter the WH with one wife and leave with another.

I had to interrupt my birthday ego-trip post for Newt. It must be done. I have waited for this moment.

Well, Newt is finally out of the race, as IF anybody in their right mind would have imagined he could be President.

Thanks for quitting Newt. It’s a great birthday present!

Now here was a guy who could have conceivably entered the WH with one wife and leave with another.

In addition to wishing Good Riddance to a serial adulterer, this is a guy who is the poster boy for what’s wrong with the Defense Of Marriage Act. There has to be something wrong with people who think marriage is so sacred that they just can’t help doing it over and over again. Under President Newt, the Defense of Marriage Act would have to be changed to the Defense Of Marriage-Divorce-Remarriage-Divorce-Remarriage Act.

I also know it is a big loss to America not to have a President who knows absolutely everything there is to know about everything, and all you have to do is ask him. Newt is just like that guy we’ve all met in our lives. You know, the one who is a total asshole, and everybody knows it but him.

So long Newt. Make it permanent this time, will ya? After all there are so many opportunities out there to bilk the taxpayer through government-agency consulting with smarmy people like yourself – just like you did at Fannie Mae. With no hope of having you as President, I guess the poor children of America will just have to wait for another opportunity to earn their lunch by cleaning the bathrooms at school between classes.

Oh and Newt–try to keep this wife a little longer, will you? You’re starting to look like a  really seedy and insincere Pillsbury Doughboy.

More importantly, nobody whose tie covers his entire pants zipper should ever be taken seriously.

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83 Responses

  1. Damn, Upps. Hate to be pulled away from your birthday celebration, but this is a much needed laugh. The tie-line is priceless.

    Also do you notice that he is a year old than Hill would be in she ran in 2016 and nobody called him ancient. Although I guess we have called this man other things…

    “There has to be something wrong with people who think marriage is so sacred that they just can’t help doing it over and over again.”

    – bloody brilliant!!

  2. Bill and the cupcake are adorable, FF.

    Upps is even more adorable though.

    (we can continue the ego fest here, no problemo.)

  3. Ahem. I interrupt this post with a question. Uppity- were you perhaps awaiting delivery of a gray tabby? Skin and bones other than her very pregnant belly? I was wrangled in to taking her- (my daughter rescued her and the poor thing has nowhere else to go)
    GRRR I only wanted ONE cat. Already fixed and litter trained.
    I think she was dropped off at the wrong place. Let me know where to send her please.

  4. McN — say it ain’t so…really?

  5. Can I ask a favor — anyone who is registered with Amazon — can you go over there and like my book page today!!

    And please like my Author Page!!

    http://www.facebook.com/AnitaFinlayAuthor

    Doing a big push for the weekend!

    Did another interview with a news wire so looking forward to a good story coming out on that soon…

    And if you haven’t yet heard my interview on a conservative radio show, it is a riot…

    http://www.blogtalkradio.com/markgillar/2012/04/23/hollywood-democrat-leaves-party-over-unchecked-misogyny

    So now that I have interrupted the thread with my shameless self aggrandizement…:)

    Please let’s carry on bashing that shameless hypocrite…

  6. mom, since the Tabby has some kits on the way you’re not just getting one – you’re going to be blessed with a whole bundle.

    You got love to spare, and they know it.

  7. Anita, I liked the Amazon page – it is up to 23 now. Cannot do facebook since I do not have an account.

  8. Bah-bye, Newtie! Hee hee hee: marriage is so sacred that they just can’t help doing it over and over again.

    Wow PMM! Ummm, congratulations?

    Un-fricken’-real about Egypt. Let’s storm DC until they agree not to send one more taxpayer dime to that country. I don’t care how cozy they get with you-know-who.

  9. The newt has been newtered. :lol:

  10. lol good one, foxyladi!!!!

  11. Sex with the wife up to six hours after she’s dead. To think we send money to these rotten goatfuckers. Arab Spring for Men. Arab Winter for women.

  12. Karen is ahead in the Stoke Uppity contest.

  13. Karen is ahead???? I agree to take in an emaciated, pregnant feral mama in honor of the queen of catdom’s birthday and KAREN is ahead????
    HMPH

  14. mom wins, hands down.

    I still have my parrot for another week and then he goes back to my daughter’s place. YEA. He is another one of the reasons why I bought myself shoes today! Till he goes I have to put everything I value behind closed doors. We have him since 1992. An African Grey. He’s destroyed so much stuff I should have parrot insurance.

  15. Thank you, Karen!! It all helps. :)

  16. Oh uppity, that foot massage I gave you really paid off.

    BTW – I did NOT take the leftover meatloaf. It was Bill.

  17. Thanks for all the prayers for my sister. Preliminary results on the removed lymph nodes are negative! And she just arrived home.

    Very relieved. She might get to skip Chemo. Fingers crossed.

  18. Karen! That is good news about your sister! Praise be!

  19. To think we send money to these rotten goatfuckers

    Why do we send these goatfuckers money? I’m really at a loss.

  20. Amazon is now up to 24.

    Like Karen, I do not have a facebook account.

  21. We send them money so they can carry on with their rendition of “Freedom”. Which excludes women. And coptic Christians.

  22. The meme this week is how wonderful the FLOTUS is and how she is so well liked. I’ve seen a dozen articles gushing about her but this one takes the cake. My comment might have been a bit too bitter for them to print as it hasn’t appeared yet. I asked the author if she was out of her mind.

    http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/politics/2012/04/president-michelle-obama-absolutely-not/#comments

  23. Did the Amazon thingy, but no FB account…sorry.

  24. Mom I missed the pregnant feral comment. Way to go, girl! I guess it’s a tie now.

  25. Mom, tell you what, you can domate that present to……you. You did a good thing, girl. I know she and the little rugrats are in good hands.

  26. So when the men die do the women get to desecrate their bodies? Such as removing certain parts with meat cleavers and putting them in jars so the wimmens will have a memento of the part that was often in the goat.

  27. Karen, I personally think the women over there in goatfuckistan would do far better to kill them all in their sleep on the same night. THEN they would have Arab Spring.

  28. Karen is ahead???? I agree to take in an emaciated, pregnant feral mama in honor of the queen of catdom’s birthday and KAREN is ahead????
    HMPH

  29. Thanks, Mt. Laurel…

    and DWP!!

  30. “Liked” Ani’s FB and Amazon pages. Reposted the request of PumaPac and on FB.

  31. UW @ 4:25 PM

    RIGHT ON!!!!

  32. Damned if you do and damned of you don’t

    A Catholic school teacher in Indiana is suing a diocese there, claiming that she was unlawfully terminated after school officials learned she was undergoing fertility treatments to become pregnant.

    In a federal lawsuit filed in a Fort Wayne, Ind., teacher Emily Herx claimed that she was fired and told by a senior church official that her attempt to become pregnant through in-vitro fertilization made her a “grave, immoral sinner.”

  33. read the comments here – they say michele is popular. Not according to the people who responded to this. I too missed that it said the question was asked by a young girl. I apologized but the story was repeated however by the author to boost up obama.

    more here than at the ABC link to the story.

    http://news.yahoo.com/president-michelle-obama-absolutely-not-190119031–abc-news-politics.html

  34. Sophie, yep, upps loves me. ha ha ha ha ha.

  35. Oy! Karen steals food from UW every day, so she is like -365! Then a little present on the birthday, and she is ahead? No, I say she is now -364! Sheesh!! ROFL

  36. It’s not the present lorac, it’s all ths sucking up the gets the Win.

  37. Sophie if all Catholic women who defy their cavemen rules left the church, there would be an echo. And LOTs of reform. And NOBODY to do all the work at the church bazaar.

  38. I personally think the women over there in goatfuckistan would do far better to kill them all in their sleep on the same night. THEN they would have Arab Spring.

    I agree wholeheartedly. We are no longer in the dark ages…let there be light.

  39. Violence Against Women act was passed. In 2012 we have to ‘renew” this law, can you imagine? Laws on women made by men and then ‘reviewed’ by men. 31 Republican Males voted AGAINST this law.

  40. 31 Republican Males voted AGAINST this law.

    Shocking, not.

  41. I don’t get why any woman would stay Catholic or stay in AZ.

  42. Uppity
    I forgot to mention there should be an email coming your way today.

  43. Well I’m catholic but I have no quarrel with anyone cause I like Uppity and religion is not one I
    like to debate… But come on, dont you just want to squeeeeze Newts cheeks.. so squishy:)

  44. LOL SophieCT I let the menz chase me out of the Catholic Church and I stayed away for a long time. Did my own research, read the bible cover to cover and figured out that Rome is full of crap. Power hungry woman hating mad men. I went back to MY church and will never ever let them chase me out again. The Church is the People. the roman curia are only administrators and the priests as well. They should get it through their thick heads they are the SERVANTS of God and the people- not the other way around. I get the message out to as many young people and open minded older Catholics as I can. LOL
    As for why women stay in AZ? Beats me. Any state without a full complement of women’s health services would see me gone in a heartbeat. Alas, PA is losing clinics right and left. sigh

  45. OK what the hell is this? Is leslie around? A flight is “quarantined” in Chicago???
    http://news.yahoo.com/flight-quarantined-chicago-midway-224653885–abc-news-health.html

  46. Happy Birthday, Uppity! I have just settled down to the computer, so now I will start reading all your birthday wishes in the comments. I do hope it was and still is wonderful.

    And, wasn’t Newt sweet to give you his gift.

    I can tell this isn’t going to post right. So smww is WLM

  47. Fixit Fairy visited your screen name, WLM.

  48. But come on, dont you just want to squeeeeze Newts cheeks.. so squishy:)

    You go first!

  49. Ok Mt. Laurel, gotcha. If Bill doesn’t get there first.

  50. Chips I myself am a recovering Catholic so I understand.

  51. Thanks, Fixit Fairy! Ani I did all three as you requested. It was a pleasure!
    PMM, my, my what a blessing of kittehs you have.
    Karen, wonderful news about your sister!

  52. Oh, I need Fixit Fairy again in the above comment.

  53. Did someone mention PIE? And squeezing Newt’s cheeks???

  54. So, Uppity. Who jumped out of your birthday cake?

  55. thanks djmm!

    WLM I see my fix for your screen name worked. Yay Me!

    Same guy jumped out as last year, and the year before, and…

  56. Dearest WLM, when you get a chance, you might want to visit your Gravatar.com page and see if you have smww as your screen name there. I believe if you do, you can change it.

  57. Ani I favorited you at Amazon already, but I did not write a review, as I am registered by my full name, and although no one would know it was Uppity, I kind of prefer not having my house shot it by some crazed obot.

  58. I think Slave to chips needs to change her name to Choco Chips Are Bad, because every time she shows up, I crave cookies.

  59. Dearest Ups, I will try your suggestion. Thanks

  60. One of my gifts is a massage appointment. I love it. None of my gifts was an appliance of any kind. Do you not love trained men?

    Tip to all our Uppity guys, although you probably know it because you are cool enough to be here: Do not buy flowers and candy. Women know you got them on the fly. A trained man knows this.

  61. Well then. Ms pregger kitteh has arrived and she has been treated for fleas. Gave her a can of food which she of course tore into. She has water. I made her a lovely nest box from an old cat carrier with a worn out bath rug that was going to the shelter inside and tore up an old sheet and used that to cover the outside of the box. She should be nice and cozy for tonight. We have decided to give the flea treatment a couple of days to work and then we will move her off the porch and into my daughter’s old room upstairs where I can be sure she can not escape. The porch is enclosed, but I fear someone will open it and she will be out like a shot.
    I will let her relax and get comfy out there for tonight and see if I can get a good look and feel in the morning. My daughter was handling her no trouble at all. No scratching or hissing while we got the flea stuff on her. So far so good. I did not want to handle her without gloves as I just got Jack back from his checkup and shots.
    Oh- gray striped tabby.
    Night all- will update in the a.m.

  62. Yeh they are bad but OOOhh so good. Choc brownies are owning me tonight..

  63. So shall we assume her name is Pregger?

    You’ll do fine Mom. Lucky cat. She’s about to get the royal treatment.

  64. UW,

    More importantly, nobody whose tie covers his entire pants zipper should ever be taken seriously.

    Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

  65. AhhhhhH! How cool. Uppity came out to play with us tonight! :)

  66. I’m fading fast, Crier, but wanted to give ya a hug before I crash.

  67. OMG you have got to see this! Obots must be having strokes!
    https://twitter.com/#!/search/%23SaySomethingGoodAboutObama

  68. Glad you had a wonderful evening. :D

  69. Not OctoCat, no.

  70. Uppity Woman, on April 26, 2012 at 9:59 PM said:
    Ani I favorited you at Amazon already, but I did not write a review, as I am registered by my full name, and although no one would know it was Uppity, I kind of prefer not having my house shot it by some crazed obot.
    *************************
    That is fine, Upps. But I hope that is not to intimate that I am now in danger. Perhaps I’d better move to Tahiti while the getting is good!

  71. {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{imust}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

  72. XOXOXOXOX to UW on her special day.

  73. Right back atcha Anita!

  74. karen @ 4:23: haha! Well said!

  75. Happy Birthday Uppity! Glad you got good presents! A massage, good stuff. xo

  76. Is the pahtay over? Slackers!

  77. NES — just dropped by to say good night — sorry to have missed you today!!

  78. I was here in the early AM…got the stragglers from the drunken revelries of the night before.

  79. More importantly, nobody whose tie covers his entire pants zipper should ever be taken seriously.

    The more things covering Newt’s zipper, the better.

  80. You’re late. There will be Punishments. Thanks for the bribe though!

  81. Kitteh update- she settled in to her nest box- I put some dirt atop the litter in the box along with a handful of grass- checked it this morning and she did indeed use the box- I will cut back on the soil as we go along. She ate another can of cat food this morning. Seems she took some water overnight- so that is good. When I went out this morning she bolted, but after I opened the can of cat food she slowly crept out of hiding. I did stroke her while holding the food just out of reach- she was not impressed, but did not scratch or bite me- a tiny hiss was all. When the other half gets home I will go out again and do more than a cursory look see.
    My daughter was calling her “Smokey Bones” lol

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