AAARRGH!!! Where’s My Loot?!
The Preezy of the United Steezy turned 51 on Saturday, and boy is he doing it up big this year! Yo Ho Ho and a bottle of
Rum Cristal! He’s not even making a pretense of running the country or trying to scare up a few jobs. He’s instead opting to host fundraisers and suck up to all of his rich donors instead. Like he accuses Mitt Romney of doing. But don’t take my word for it. The New York Daily News had this to say:
President Obama marked his 51st birthday Saturday with a quiet round of golf – but revealed plans to celebrate it next weekend with a big bucks fundraiser.
Obama, playing golf for the 104th time since taking office, hit the links at Andrews Air Force base before departing for a night away at Camp David.
But next Sunday he will be in Chicago, hosting dozens of donors – some contest winners – at the First Family’s longtime home in Hyde Park. SOURCE
The article goes on to say how his loyal, long-suffering and equally selfless spouse is doing her part to make sure he fleeces all of his young (and now unemployed) 2008
lemmings donors can still stay in the game, even if they’re not as rich as George Clooney or Anna Wintour.
Let The Games Begin!
Many donors will bring their children, if only for a great photo-op in the anticipated media blitz of sickeningly sweet photos that are sure to follow.
The “You Didn’t Build A Bear” workshop will keep them quiet while the adults are being fleeced, and the distraction will keep the meds out of their milk.
This little game can keep the kids out of your hair as well as brainwash them into believing that there’s nothing to look forward as long as they keep donating their tooth fairy money to OFA. It is also the perfect tie-in to what looks like this elections favorite talking point, so I think its a win-win.
Ahoy, Matey! We’re Still Broke! Time for a BIG LIE!!
Next we have “Composite Kiss And Tell”, which also shows consistency on Preezy’s part. He’s been ‘splaining that all of his characters in his bio, speeches and entire lifetime are “composite characters” that represent the true America (i.e. his vision of America, like his lovely story “The LIfe of Julia” which I will not link for fear of a trip to the gulag).
So far, Harry Reid has kicked this one off with his lie about Mitt Romney not paying a dime in taxes for 10 years, which has breathed new life into a tired meme that nobody really gives a shit about (see: “We need to see tax returns from your first paper route”)
When Romney’s running mate is announced, you can fully expect a phony sex scandal or two (unless its Pawlenty, who nobody would ever sleep with because he just has no edge). They won’t mention him by name, of course, but will cunningly describe a “Governor of Minnesota who shall remain nameless that can bore you to death so he can take advantage of your lifeless body” or something like that. All very carefully worded to ensure plausible deniability during the firestorm that Romney’s rapid response team is sure to deliver.
A Party Game For All To Play!
Pin the Fail on the Donkey. Nothing like a little bit of good, old fashioned Americana to keep the party going. Perfect for members of either party, and short term memory loss is no obstacle. Just blindfold yourself, listen to a pre-recorded Obama campaign speech until your head spins and pin one of the pre-printed tails on the donkey. Choose from the following fabulous fails:
Fast & Furious
So come and party with Barack and Michelle this week. You’re probably not working anyway, and it sure beats just sitting around waiting for the other shoe to drop.