Now, I want you to feel at home and keep your experience as close to what you have been accustomed to on the interwebs during the past few months, so I will whack you with my pointer and tell you how fucking stupid you are, you little troll, whenever you say something I don’t like or if you refuse to live down to my expectations. Then I will haunt you — tell everybody you’re bad and I’m good –pretend I saw your underwear drawer and describe it — and I will steal your toys besides! Then I will give everybody your name and address and endanger your life if you do not settle down, you sons a bitches!
Now that I have duplicated the ambiance, relax. And if you don’t understand the satire here thus far, then please oh please get the hell out of here.
One more thing: There will be no more smiling. Smiling and any slight form of happiness in your life is strictly forbidden. If necessary, suck on a lemon. Whatever. Just cut that shit out. If you don’t realize that Chicken Little was right and we are all doomed, especially you, then your mother wears combat boots, I hate your cat, and besides that, I have no sympathy for you. Do you understand?
Good. I will also use red pen because, if life already sucks so much and evil is simply everywhere you look, why would a red pen hurt your feelings?
Now for your assignment:
Your listening comprehension assignment for today is to analyze the difference between,
What difference does it make?
What difference at this point does it make?
Now I know this is a hard one, but I expect you to compare the terms in context, God forbid. I know. I know.
There will be partial credit, but only if I feel like giving it to you. Why should I be different? And if I don’t like you, you won’t get any partial credit at all, even if your answer is completely right. Incidentally, I will decide what the right answer is. Sometimes I will change my mind, depending on what’s convenient for me. Got it? Good! Pick up your extra exclamation marks here: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now, just to be Fair and Balanced, below is a Fox clip of the actual sentence in context. You should keep a copy handy as this story will be used in the future often, particularly by people who vote on critical legislation they don’t read first, but want to know why an SOS doesn’t read every one of the thousands of cables that go to State daily, while she travels a million miles in four years in order to calm down a bunch of goatfuckers. How EVER did she find the time to fake a fall, an injury and a blood clot?
Focus on the video and then you may begin. By the way, she is not Angry, she is Hysterical. She’s not built correctly to be Angry. Understand this.
You will be timed, but I haven’t decided yet how much time you have. I also reserve the right to make a 180 right in the middle of this thread. Then do it again. I want to be as fickle as humanly possible.
Extra Credit: How many things can you find wrong with this picture?