Mic Check Mic Check
Uppity is on hiatus from the blog until #tbd Uppity is on hiatus from the blog until #tbd
but the blog WILL stay up indefinitely but the blog WILL stay up indefinitely
so you don’t have to worry that you’ll click here one day and it will be gone so you don’t have to worry that you’ll click here one day and it will be gone
so long as it doesn’t turn into a flame war so long as it doesn’t turn into a flame war
What say you Uppityites? Can we get a twinkles up?
We are Uppityites!! We ARE the 99%!
Okay then……we’ll need a few things.
1.) Tents
An Uppity Tent. Deal With It.
What?? You were expecting some dirty old pup tent? For Uppityites??
2.) Supplies
Hmmm…..something’s missing…..
Oh yeah!
Will one be enough??
One probably won’t be enough, but I’m sure we can get more donations!
3.) Finally, no self-respecting OccuPIE would be without a Drum Circle!
Is everyone comfy cozy now?? Twinkles up!!
So what’s in the news? Hillary of course! Hillary joined twitter and made a splash with her first tweet:
Over 300,000 followers in the first day!
But my favorite tweet was from Chelsea Clinton who tweeted a “selfie” with her mom!
So Uppityites, that’s my first #occuPIEuppity’sblog post. Let your voice be heard! Power to the 99%! Comment, but don’t forget to tip the NSA monitor on your way out!!
What would Spring be without the annualPeeps Diorama Contest? Fortunately, you’ll never have to know because here at Uppity Woman Blog, we bring you all the news that’s fit to eat! (Yes karen for clinton, I’m looking at YOU!)
Now I know what many of you peeps are thinking….Peeps are not fit to eat! So what….have you never had a Peep PIE??? (A little birdie told me it’s great!)
Or how about a Peep Fondue?? Deepeeplicious, no?
Okay,now that we’ve established that Peeps are in fact, good enough to eat….. on with the Peep Show!
Being the good Catholic girl that I am…..
Okay, okay……so maybe I’m not THAT good……none-the-less……
One of my favorites was the Papal Peeps!!
All those Peepinals lined up at the Peepclave wearing their funny hats was truly a sight to behold.
Even the Peep…I mean the Pope himself was peeping at the show! And who could blame him? How often do you get to see 115 men of the cloth dressed in their finest…..cloth??
Maybe once in a generation? Or sooner if the current man of the peeple pope decides to resign……
Don’t everyone get your tail feathers all ruffled up. I mean no offense to Pope Francis. He does seem like a very nice man and it is refreshing to see a pope not wearing Prada for a change!
Besides, I thought it was the Devil who wore Prada anyway!
But I digress….and I can’t do that….it’s not my blog! Sorry Uppity! Back to my peeps!
Staying with the Papal Peep Theme….here are a few of the clever runner ups, starting with our previous pope John “Eggs” Benedict giving his last speech to the peeps below:
And a post-retirement pope on a well earned vacation…….
Before revealing the winner of the Peep Contest, here’s one more entry that I couldn’t resist. She’s All In for a reading of her book, All In, yes Peepla Broadwell herself! Also promoting her soon to be released book, 50 Shades of Army Green!
Okay, I’ve kept you waiting long enough. The winner of the 2013 Washington Post Peep Diorama Contest is………….Twinkies, Rest in Peeps, featuring the Pope himpeepself, coming out of retirement and back from vacation to preside over the Twinkie’s funeral. Notice the Twinkie will be buried alongside many of his snack cake friends, Ho-Ho, Snowball and Fruit Pie….PIE???? Wait a minute! Fruit PIE died?? Why didn’t anyone tell me!!!??!!!!!!!!
Take heart Peeple….the loss of Twinkie and all of our Hostess Treats may be a lot for us to bear. But remember….we’ll always have Paris…..Peeps!
Photo credit: Paris Breakfast Blog. ♥CAROL GILLOTT♥
Forget “having it all” girlz…..let’s just get us a MAN!!!
Well, at least according to this article, that’s all women want….no… make that…..that’s what we NEED!
Believe it or not, modern women want to get married. Trouble is, men don’t.
Aww….way to burst my bubble! So wait….so now are you saying that I CAN’T solve all my problems by trapping getting myself a good man???
The so-called dearth of good men (read: marriageable men) has been a hot subject in the media as of late. Much of the coverage has been in response to the fact that for the first time in history, women have become the majority of the U.S. workforce. They’re also getting most of the college degrees. The problem? This new phenomenon has changed the dance between men and women.
Problem? Dance? More women than men are graduating from college now, that couldn’t mean that women are…..oh, I don’t know…..smarter than men??
More women in the workforce and getting college degrees….itmustbe one of those evil feminist plans to bring down civilized society as we know it!!! BWAHHHAAAA!!!
Nooooo!!! Not the PIE!!!!!
Well, the author of this article isn’t just making this up?!? No-no, I’m sure she has plenty of research, stats, and empirical evidence to back up her claims!
As the author of three books on the American family and its intersection with pop culture, I’ve spent thirteen years examining social agendas as they pertain to sex, parenting, and gender roles. During this time, I’ve spoken with hundreds, if not thousands, of men and women. And in doing so, I’ve accidentally stumbled upon a subculture of men who’ve told me, in no uncertain terms, that they’re never getting married. When I ask them why, the answer is always the same.
Okay, so she didn’t really research this, she stumbled upon it.…typical woman….probably waiting for the man to do all the research and work while she just slacked off and polished her nails!! So what is the answer? WHAT IS THE ANSWER???
Women aren’t women anymore.
Wha??? What are we? Brilliant? Hardworking? Accomplished??
In a nutshell, women are angry.
Well, reading this article did make me pretty angry!
People call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that distinguish me from a doormat – Rebecca West, 1913
So here’s the sad part….sniff-sniff….
Now the men have nowhere to go.
No, sad isn’t the right word, check that. I shouldn’t feel sad! I should feel guilty, and maybe just a little afraid because these men are ANGRY!!!
Contrary to what feminists like Hanna Rosin, author of The End of Men, say, the so-called rise of women has not threatened men. It has pissed them off. It has also undermined their ability to become self-sufficient in the hopes of someday supporting a family. Men want to love women, not compete with them. They want to provide for and protect their families – it’s in their DNA. But modern women won’t let them.
It’s all so unfortunate – for women, not men. Feminism serves men very well: they can have sex at hello and even live with their girlfriends with no responsibilities whatsoever.
In other words girlz…..why buy the cow…… [wink-wink]….
It’s the women who lose. Not only are they saddled with the consequences of sex, by dismissing male nature they’re forever seeking a balanced life. The fact is, women need men’s linear career goals – they need men to pick up the slack at the office – in order to live the balanced life they seek.
Paging Mrs. Ha-Wiggins!!
So if men today are slackers, and if they’re retreating from marriage en masse, women should look in the mirror and ask themselves what role they’ve played to bring about this transformation.
Yes, yes….it is all my fault!!!! [whipping self repeatedly with cat-o-nine-tails]
Fortunately, there is good news: women have the power to turn everything around. All they have to do is surrender to their nature – their femininity – and let men surrender to theirs.
Hop back up on that pedestal ladies!!!!
Wait but is this the pedestal they want to put us on? Or this?…….
A woman’s place is on the pedestal.
Alright, I’ve given up my “uppity” ways. No more college, no more career, no more thinking for myself. What will I get in return?
If they do, marriageable men will come out of the woodwork.
We had a lot of fun here at Uppity Woman’s Place poking fun at Bic’s Pens made just for us wimminz! In case you were too busy bringing home the bacon and frying it up in a pan, here’s the original post.
Ladies! Listen Up!! Forget the War on Women! Let’s call a truce! Wave that pink flag and call in the troops! Sure we’ve had our own pharmaceuticals, big deal, nothing new there.
My wife, I think I’ll keep her….as long as she can still make breakfast!
And we’ve even had our own ladies only cancer sticks cigarettes. Meh, soooo seventies.
Safety-smafety….I’m smokin’ ladies only cancer sticks! I live on the edge.
But now….now equality is truly ours!!! Stand close to your fainting couches girls, here’s the feminine product we’ve all been waiting for……
Be still my heart!!!
Product Features
Elegant design – just for her! Thin barrel to fit a women’s hand (oooh….baby)
I’m not “faking” it when I say…..I loooove this pen. And I’m not the only one. Check out these reviews from Amazon:
Finally! For years I’ve had to rely on pencils, or at worst, a twig and some drops of my feminine blood to write down recipes (the only thing a lady should be writing ever). I had despaired of ever being able to write down said recipes in a permanent manner, though my men-folk assured me that I “shouldn’t worry yer pretty little head”. But, AT LAST! Bic, the great liberator, has released a womanly pen that my gentle baby hands can use without fear of unlady-like callouses and bruises. Thank you, Bic!
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Someone has answered my gentle prayers and FINALLY designed a pen that I can use all month long! I use it when I’m swimming, riding a horse, walking on the beach and doing yoga. It’s comfortable, leak-proof, non-slip and it makes me feel so feminine and pretty! Since I’ve begun using these pens, men have found me more attractive and approchable. It has given me soft skin and manageable hair and it has really given me the self-esteem I needed to start a book club and flirt with the bag-boy at my local market. My drawings of kittens and ponies have improved, and now that I’m writing my last name hyphenated with the Robert Pattinson’s last name, I really believe he may some day marry me! I’m positively giddy. Those smart men in marketing have come up with a pen that my lady parts can really identify with..
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So what if I get paid 70 cents for every dollar a guy gets? Now I can use a Bic Pen for Her when I endorse my sad check and fluorish the hell out of it with a bunch of hearts and curlicues. It’s also comfortable to write with, meaning the only cramps I’ll get are the other kind
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So my wife has always wanted a divorce, but when it came time to sign the papers I stumbled over laughing as she reached for my Bic pens in an attempt to use them. Silly woman, how could she possibly use these pens to do “women’s work”. Did she not know the manliness of the almighty Bic pen? Her hands just couldn’t handle its sheer power and testosterone. Then Bic goes ahead and does something like this. Creating this demonry of a tool to allow woman to write. No longer are the days where I could cast away my wife in the dungeon of my basement. Bic has opened Pandora’s Box. I am now a bitter lonely man. You’ve cost me my marriage Bic! *Shakes fist in air angrily*
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In a world where a woman’s body is no longer her own; where freedom to choose is legislated by dangerous men; where basic bodily functions are no longer a woman’s to command…
One pen will change the world.
Armed with a writing instrument unheard of by modern humanity, she will embark on a journey of discovery. Never. Before. Seen.
Today, a new hero rises to answer the siren call for sanity.
Because sometimes Derek with his stonehard pecs, pulsating buttocks, and flowing blonde hair simply isn’t enough to satisfy her craving for adventure.
BIC for Her. Use the Pen. Be the Pen. Be there. Aloha.
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Umm, has anyone actually checked out the legality of this product yet? I’m worried about ordering them as I’m a single lady and I was wondering whether I would actually be able to use these pens unaccompanied. I’ve heard that in some countries, a male family member must be present and that other countries have issued an outright ban. I think Bic needs to clarify.
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I don’t know about you, but I’m glad I’ve lived long enough to see this myself. First woman president? We don’t need no stinkin’ woman president, ERA?? Puh-sha!!……we’ve got our own pretty pen!
--Graphic by Freedom Fairy
"This is not culture. This is not custom. This is criminal."
