Occupy the State of the Union

Happy Mardi Gras (or Shrove Tuesday) and State of the Union Day! Please pull up a plate of pancakes (or bowl of popcorn) and join me for our annual heckling of the SOTU.

Sadly, our Uppity is still ill and won’t be able to join us for this evening’s festivities. I am certain this is among her top three regrets in life. FWIW, she does give this occupation her blessing.

Salon’s complaining that the SOTU is ineffectual.

State of the Union addresses from newly reelected second-term presidents are full of grand plans that never amount to anything, like George W. Bush’s Social Security privatization and Harry Truman’s sad, doomed “Fair Deal.”
…
But whatever the president proposes, no matter how convincing his arguments, the nation’s domestic policy agenda over the next year will be set not by him but by a handful of people — some of them crazy people — in Congress. And Congress doesn’t really care what the president wants.

Mitch McConnell doesn’t sound too optimistic:

…parts of the president’s speech that have been reported seem to him to be “another litany of left-wing proposals with plenty of red meat for the president’s base.”

Since you can bring your friends to these things, Senator Richard Blumenthal (D-CT) is bringing Newtown’s First Selectman [sic], Pat Llodra. (That would be MY First Selectman—who is a Republican that I have voted for and would vote for again and again because she is competent.) Here’s the guest list for the entire CT delegation.

To keep things fair and balanced, Rep. Steve Stockman (R-TX) is bringing Ted Nugent as his guest. Ted’s a real classy guy.

Last year, [Nugent] told National Rifle Association members that “I will be either be dead or in jail by this time next year” if the president was re-elected. He has also called Obama a “piece of shit” who should “suck on my machine gun.”

Who won’t be there? Energy Secretary Steven Chu is the designated survivor and will not attend the State of the Union.

The address begins at 9 PM EST on all the major networks, cable news channels, and CSPAN. Politico will have live streaming. The White House is offering an “enhanced version” with charts and graphs. Be warned, Anonymous plans to hack the SOTU address and keep it off the InterTubes until it’s over. The cable channels also have preempted their pre-SOTU pundit events, which I’m sure will be would have been insightful and informative. (gag) You can follow along on Twitter with #sotu.

If you make it through the whole thing, the Address will be followed by two rebuttals: one from Marco Rubio and the other from Rand Paul. (Like good cop/bad cop–you decide which is which.)

I don’t have a drink (or eat) word, so please suggest one. I’m still hoping that Scalia lifts his robe and BO throws him some beads.

Party Games

AAARRGH!!!  Where’s My Loot?!

The Preezy of the United Steezy turned 51 on Saturday, and boy is he doing it up big this year! Yo Ho Ho and a bottle of Rum Cristal! He’s not even making a pretense of running the country or trying to scare up a few jobs. He’s instead opting to host fundraisers and suck up to all of his rich donors instead.  Like he accuses Mitt Romney of doing.  But don’t take my word for it. The New York Daily News had this to say:

President Obama marked his 51st birthday Saturday with a quiet round of golf – but revealed plans to celebrate it next weekend with a big bucks fundraiser.
Obama, playing golf for the 104th time since taking office, hit the links at Andrews Air Force base before departing for a night away at Camp David.
But next Sunday he will be in Chicago, hosting dozens of donors – some contest winners – at the First Family’s longtime home in Hyde Park.  SOURCE

The article goes on to say how his loyal, long-suffering and equally selfless spouse is doing her part to make sure he fleeces all of his young (and now unemployed) 2008 lemmings donors can still stay in the game, even if  they’re not as rich as George Clooney or Anna Wintour.

Let The Games Begin!

I’ve been wondering about the party games that were planned for this festive, week long spree, and I think I might have found a few that aren’t too far off the mark.

Many donors will bring their children, if only for a great photo-op in the anticipated media blitz of sickeningly sweet photos that are sure to follow.

The “You Didn’t Build A Bear” workshop will keep them quiet while the adults are being fleeced, and the distraction will keep the meds out of their milk.

This little game can keep the kids out of your hair as well as brainwash them into believing that there’s nothing to look forward as long as they keep donating their tooth fairy money to OFA.  It is also the perfect tie-in to what looks like this elections favorite talking point, so I think its a win-win.

Ahoy, Matey!  We’re Still Broke!  Time for a BIG LIE!!

Next we have “Composite Kiss And Tell”, which also shows consistency on Preezy’s part. He’s been ‘splaining that all of his characters in his bio, speeches and entire lifetime are “composite characters” that represent the true America (i.e. his vision of America, like his lovely story “The LIfe of Julia” which I will not link for fear of a trip to the gulag).

So far, Harry Reid has kicked this one off with his lie about Mitt Romney not paying a dime in taxes for 10 years, which has breathed new life into a tired meme that nobody really gives a shit about (see: “We need to see tax returns from your first paper route”)

When Romney’s running mate is announced, you can fully expect a phony sex scandal or two (unless its Pawlenty, who nobody would ever sleep with because he just has no edge). They won’t mention him by name, of course, but will cunningly describe a “Governor of Minnesota who shall remain nameless that can bore you to death so he can take advantage of your lifeless body” or something like that.  All very carefully worded to ensure plausible deniability during the firestorm that Romney’s rapid response team is sure to deliver.

 A Party Game For All To Play!

Pin the Fail on the Donkey.  Nothing like a little bit of good, old fashioned Americana to keep the party going.  Perfect for members of either party, and short term memory loss is no obstacle.  Just blindfold yourself, listen to a pre-recorded Obama campaign speech until your head spins and pin one of the pre-printed tails on the donkey.  Choose from the following fabulous fails:

Stimulus Package
Obamacare
Gitmo
Solyndra
Fast & Furious

So come and party with Barack and Michelle this week.  You’re probably not working anyway, and it sure beats just sitting around waiting for the other shoe to drop.

What’s in a name?

Travelers flying into Little Rock will now be reminded of Arkansas’ most famous political couple after officials voted Tuesday to rename the city’s airport after Bill and Hillary Clinton.

The Little Rock Municipal Airport Commission unanimously agreed to change the name of the Little Rock National Airport to honor former President Bill Clinton and his wife, U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. The former president, an Arkansas native and the state’s former governor, said they were humbled.

“We are grateful for this honor and for all that the people of Arkansas have done for us. And we look forward to many happy landings at the airport in the years ahead,” he said in a statement.

I’m glad that the Little Rock Airport Commission decided (unanimously!) to name their airport after Hillary and Bill.  They spent a lot of time as leaders of that state, and made a lot of improvements.  It really seems only right that they should be honored and remembered in this way.

After reading about this development, however, my thoughts immediately went to all the different things people wanted to name after Obama – practically two minutes after he appeared on the national scene – and definitely before he had accomplished anything (wait, we’re still not there yet, are we?)

Remember all the articles about people wanting to see Obama’s face on Mt. Rushmore?  Already in 2008!  For what?  For nothing more than being (s)elected!  There was even speculation that Obama himself was anticipating having his smug mug chiseled up there (and notice the date on that article – the very date he stole Hillary’s delegates).

Last fall they named a road for Obama in Orlando, Florida.  Or, to be more precise, a connector road.  They reported that it was named for Obama “because his achievements should be recognized”.  The connector road is 1.5 miles long.  Enough said?

Of course, he’s infamous for winning the Nobel Peace Prize for the great accomplishment of being in office – what was it? – 12 days?  News from last month:  “Nobel Peace Prize officials were facing a formal inquiry over accusations they have drifted away from the prize’s original selection criteria by choosing such winners as President Barack Obama…”.  Oops.

I’ve even heard talk of schools being named after him.  I understand you don’t have to be seen attending any classes, and don’t have to be worried about any pesky transcripts after the fact!  There’s one site selling school wear for Obama High School.  The website says the school hasn’t been built yet, and the website doesn’t appear to have been updated since 2009.  But one of the Obama High School t-shirts they’re selling is for the Obama High School Debate Team!  Can you just imagine the rigorous training for that debate team?  “Uh, what she said”.

So, it all just made me think, “what’s in a name?”  It seems rather clear – if something is branded with the Obama name, there’s nothing behind the name.  If something is named for the Clintons, it stands for something.  Accomplishments.  That should be the middle name for both Hillary and Bill.

“The Clintons that I know are not perfect, but none of us in here are,” said Jane Gray-Todd, who spoke in support of the renaming. “They have made accomplishments that none others have in this state.”

Accomplishments.  It’s what was for dinner.  Yesterday.

Ahmadinejad to Obama: Kumbaya my ass. I want you to grovel.

Nice, Barack. See how well Huggy-Kissy works out when you apply it to two-legged animals who just can’t wait to send you a Love Nuke, infidel?

The US  ”stood against the Iranian people in the past 60 years,”  Mahmoud Ahmadinejad said during an address in the western region of Khermenshah.

“Those who speak of change must apologise to the Iranian people and try to repair their past crimes,” he said.

President Obama has offered to extend a hand if Iran “unclenched its fist”.

—snip—

The BBC’s Jon Leyne in Tehran describes it as one of Mr Ahmadinejad’s strongest tirades against the US.

Oooooooo.  Nothing like a Political Wedgie from a the last surviving example of Pithacanthropus Rex whose main goal in life is the second Holocaust, taking over the Middle East and then taking over You.

Did you get his message, Barack?

Ahmadinejad  wants you to know he is tough and macho and you are weak.

Your limp hand.  His fist.

Nice.

Kind of inspires a sense of confidence, doesn’t it?

Isn’t he such a sweet peaceful man??? And so sincere. I mean, look at all those promises he never breaks.   Diplomacy was just made for Ahmadinejad, don’t you think? Look how gracefully and humbly he takes it.  And of course, this time he will keep any promise he makes. And the knife ran away with the spoon.

Remember when you said Iran was a small dinky country that isn’t a threat? How’s that working out for you?  

When you said you would “Stand with the Muslims,”  did that include terrorist nutbags with nuclear capability? You weren’t counting on them shitting on you  and treating you like a weakling child on Week One, I’m sure. I know that you don’t like your dignity marred, so really, Barack,  the ball is in your court now.  Hint: French kissing won’t help either.

Yes sir. Nothing  says “You are small and insignificant” to a US President like baring your teeth when he extends his hand, and telling him to grovel and apologize on behalf of the USA for not being very endeared by the thought of Iran and Nuclear Weapons in the same sentence.

How’s that working out for you Barack?

It’s not nice to be sent to the corner without your supper during the first week of your United States Presidency. You can see where this would make a lot of Americans feel a bit uneasy.

You are the President of the United States, Barack.  I am forced to accept that, and I do.  Now  you  are  required to live up to your title.  You will have to remember that you represent the United States of America First,  and you will have to grow a set.  Time to hop off that fence post you have been sitting on all these years during your quest for the Next Power Job. Now you have yourself the Big Enchilada!  And you will have to do the job. Your job is to keep the people of the United States of America safe and democratic.  Your job is not  to change that. It’s  time to make those “hard decisions” you say you are  ready for–and you don’t do that by being humiliated and insulted by the last remaining Cave Man.

To be honest, it’s rough enough that our country is bleeding jobs from major arteries, the market is in the crapper, we are already three trillion dollars in debt, Wall Street and the Big Three are raping the taxpayer, consumer confidence is non-existent and there is no denying we are headed for the Second Great Depression.  It would at least be kind of…you know…. nice to know that what we have left won’t be leveled.  In case nobody mentioned this to you this week. These things are your responsiblity, Mr. President. And listening to this horse crap from some beast who wants us all dead is not going to help the confidence of……..’Your” people.

What has worried me all along about you, Mr. President, is your Narcissism and the delusion that you are Truly The One, channeling all who actually were  great (and who actually proved it).  Please re-route that hallucination elsewhere, because in spite of all the smoke that’s been blown up your ass about your clinical messianic condition, the entire world does not worship you — and loose deranged  zoo animals like Ahmadinejad aren’t into the ”Can’t we all just get along?” thing.  That’s not how real life works. This is a megalo who funds terrorism of the worst kind. A little wisdom and learning from history could go a long long way here. I’m not talking that paragraph you read in your tenth grade history book here, either.

Mr Ahmadinejad congratulated Mr Obama after his election in November but the message was criticised in Iran and received a cool response from Mr Obama.

A small start, but not enough in a timely way. And so now you have been insulted, Mr. President. That means your country has been insulted by-proxy. Going on a Huggy-Bear tour isn’t going to fix that. “Rigorous Diplomacy” means what again, exactly?

 The only good thing I see here is, after you are done with the Kumbaya route, you will see exactly WHY America has stood against guys like Ahmadinejad for so long. “Cool reponse” is something you give an old girlfriend who shafted you. “Cool response” doesn’t work with maniacs.

And while we are on this subject, do you really want to nod off during the next Holocaust presided over by the man who said that the Jews created the Holocaust themselves to get rid of the “weak”?   Seriously? I don’t recall you channeling the other notorious man who presided over the first one.  If that’s ok with you, then just keep up with the  Kumbaya while Iran helps Hamas re-arm and keep everybody busy –till Ahmadinejad completes his nuclear program. So when you tell your emmissaries to “listen,” please remember who they are “listening” to.

Seriously, Mr. President, I mean this in the most sincere way: You really ought to let Hillary take care of these things before your immature, naive Kumbaya bullcrap gets our entire country blown off the planet.  This is not a playground sandbox we are standing in here.

Thanks!

Copyright © 2009 Uppity Woman. All Rights Reserved.

Your Inauguration Day Open Thread

Today, you will understand the true meaning of   Nero Fiddled While Rome Burned.

We are at war and our economy is in a shambles. And we are spending $160,000,000+ on an inauguration. Still, even though I know that Barack Obama lied, cheated and bought and bullied his way to a nomination, and even though I still don’t even know who or what he is—And  even though I know he is a sexist pig, and even though I know that all the dead people, pets and cartoon characters who voted for him in the General Election won’t be there today, I wish Barack Obama and all his hypnotized attendees a very safe  and happy inaugeration. You should too. because……..

Tomorrow, Barack Obama will have to go to work. No more seeking his next higher job after the fun is over. There is no “next job”. The position of Pope is not available. With that in mind, he will have to make some very serious decisions that will affect us all. We need to hope that some of those decisions will be good ones. After all, the safety and economic security of our entire country depends on that.This is why we should be pleased that he has surrounded himself with some very capable people to keep him from doing something really stupid. Because of that, we might actually like a few things that get done. Don’t count on anything worthy for women though. Not until Nancy gets it. And she will when she finds herself taking the flack for Obama. So I hopes she enjoys this party, it may fade from her memory soon enough.

Tomorrow, the fence post he has been so fond of riding will no longer fly for Barack Obama. All of this fanfare will be long forgotten when decisions start to be made. There is no way on the face of this earth that Barack Obama can achieve a fraction of all those promises he made. We won’t be disappointed because we already realistically know that.

I know I don’t really need to remind you all, because you are good souls at heart, but please remember to temper your behaviors on this thread with reference to anything that may be deliberately misconstrued by Obama sycophants. I am serious as a heart attack here. We know all of this heady worship has been so far over the top as to be almost surreal. But reality will set in for all these worshippers starting tomorrow, when actual work begins. So please don’t make work for me in this thread. Thanks!

:::hopping off the soapbox:::

If you live in a major city, you too can view AmeriKa’s rendition of Dear Leader on a Big Screen befitting of Orwell. If not, here’s a preview for you again.

If you watch, be sure to count up the millions of people who aren’t working. Feel comfort in knowing that many of them depend on you to get up every morning, work and pay taxes so that they might enjoy the leisure of attending an event fit for what once were Royals during times of Famine.

As for this thread, as always, the Dipwads will land in spam, thus keeping you safe from more of their abuse.

Me? I’m going shopping. I have calculated that every teen and college student will be glued to the Big Screen today, especially the ones who can least afford to skip school. With the Me Generation aptly occupied elsewhere, I can leisurely grab myself some bargains at so many big name retailers that are either begging for customers or going out of business while people in DC celebrate. On my list for sure:  Circuit City (34,000 laid off employees who can’t afford to attend an inauguration).

How about you folks? Are ya gonna peek? Just a little?

With that, please stand for the Barack Obama National Anthem: