Just when you thought it was safe…

As a kid growing up in Southern California, I always loved going to the beach and swimming in the ocean. That was until….the summer of 1975….when the movie Jaws came out!


Yikes!!!!

Photo credit: mommyhotspot


Just the music from that movie makes my skin crawl!

So naturally, when this story broke, I paid close attention.

Steve Robles suffered several puncture wounds Saturday morning. The shark was fighting to free itself from a fisherman’s line near the popular Manhattan Beach in Los Angeles, said fire rescue officials.

“It was a burning pain that was going down the side of my chest,” Robles told ABC station KABC.

Robles was out for a two-mile swim with a group of friends when the shark suddenly appeared.

“It came from the bottom of the water. It came up to the surface, it looked at me and attacked me right on the side of my chest,” Robles said. “That all happened within two seconds. I saw the eyes of the shark as I was seeing it swim towards me. It lunged at my chest, and it locked into my chest.”

Robles said he grabbed the shark by the nose and pried its mouth open. The shark then disappeared, eventually breaking free from the line. Lifeguards were unable to find it.

I can’t imagine grabbing a shark’s mouth. But then again, if it has it’s big sharp shark teeth sunk into your chest, you got nothing to lose!!

Since I usually try to bring my posts full circle to make some kind of point, often political in nature…..how about this?

Hillary Clinton began her book tour this summer and jumped back into the shark tank….

Photo credit: Examiner.com



RNC “Squirrel”

I think Hillary is pretty skilled at prying open the mouths of sharks. She’s certainly had a lot of experience with them.

Supporting Hillary is not a hard choice. But I see the eyes of the sharks.
Time to find a really big boat!

Happy Independence Day!

I was trying to think of a good post for the 4th of July when it occurred to me….why re-invent the wheel? So I decided to dive into the Uppity Archives and found this gem! I hope Uppity doesn’t mind….I guess I’ll find out soon enough! {laughs nervously}
*************************
General Washington, Revolutionary War Vet and MK Bill - By Uppity Woman (first published July 5, 2011)

On July 3rd, the day before America’s birthday, our own Freedom Fairy posted the above header of George Washington crossing the Delaware. Lo and Behold, there was our own Moderator Kitteh Bill on that boat, right there in the arms of The Man Himself! Father of our country! Kitteh of our country!

Bill! we gasped! It’s Bill! How did Bill get there! Look, Bill was There! Bill fought for our country! Bill knew George, and I don’t mean Bush! The Real George! And how Dapper he was on that boat! Our Bill, Kitteh of our Country!

After our initial excitement at seeing our own Bill in that portrait, we were a bit flummoxed, of course. I mean, Bill would have to be seriously old in the triple digits if that was him. Not that Bill isn’t capable of just about anything, as you who have been spammed deliberately can attest. But, I mean, even the best of us have only seen our cats hit the early 20s. We knew Bill was special, but come on!

To the rescue, our own blog historian, the immortal and inimitable Revolutionary War Vet, who has been simply Everywhere, clarified the portrait for us:

Happy Fourth of July weekend to all the citizens of Uppityville!

Now, since I was actually on that boat when we crossed the Delaware on that cold, blustery Christmas night in 1776, please allow me to clarify…

See, it was in fact one of MK Bill’s ancestors who made the trip with us. He shared the same name, but the Continental Army knew him by the more proper, William. He carried the rank of Sergeant, and was assigned to the Quartermaster Department. There really wasn’t anything to the job, since we never had much food to eat. But Sergeant William always did his best for us. Once, he even offered to share with me a scrawny mouse he had caught, but I decided against it, and ate my left shoe instead. Anyway, we all loved Sergeant William.

Now, that night, General Washington was very reluctant to permit Sergeant William to make the crossing. But, at the last moment, as the boat was shoving off, William jumped aboard and into the arms of the General. What could Washington do? So, he just tucked William tight, as we rowed and poled our way to the Jersey shore.

We were headed for Trenton, of course. Where the Hessians had about 1000 men posted in the town.

Well, after a long march with bloody feet (and paws), we finally made it to Trenton. We attacked just after daylight. All was confusion, as we stormed into the streets from every direction. Sergeant William headed straight for the Commander’s headquarters. Truth be told, since he knew full well that the officers always ate better than enlisted men, William thought he might find some tasty leftovers there. He was always a sucker for German food, particularly Wiener Schnitzel.

Now, just as William made his way into the headquarters, Colonel Rall, the Hessian Commander, was stumbling out of bed, trying to get his uniform on, sensing that the cannon fire outside his window meant a surprise attack was well underway. And it was here that Sergeant William performed the heroic act that we all remembered him for afterward.

William bit into the ankle of Colonel Rall. Hard. There was blood.

So disoriented was Colonel Rall that, by the time he reached the street, half-dressed with bleeding leg, he never saw the Patriot soldier that fired the bullet that left him fatally wounded. And, seeing their Commanding officer shot down, the rest of the Hessians quickly surrendered. It was a glorious victory! And for his part…

General George Washington himself honored Sergeant William with a medal:

The Order of the Catnip.

It was, to my knowledge, the first and only time that decoration was bestowed.

Well, after the War, I lost touch with Sergeant William. But I heard that he met a sassy Long Island feline named Katrina, who most people called Kittie. (But, for some reason, she always preferred to spell it, Kitteh.) So, William and Kittie settled on a farm in the Hudson Valley of Upstate New York, and lived a long and very quiet and serene life; while proceeding to give birth to many healthy litters, the present living descendant of which is – our very own MK Bill!

Just thought I’d set the record straight. ;)

Dear Vet!!!! What a beautiful and historic account of our Bill’s notable ancestor!! We are so fortunate to have you as blog Historian, particularly with regard to the presence of our own Bill’s forefathers at so many of our most important and/or historic moments in time!

The Order of The Catnip! This honor certainly explains MK Bill’s entitlement attitude with respect to paypal donations being  snatched and used for the Ordering of the Catnip.

This account most definitely clarifies our Bill’s staunch and loyal patriotism and only serves to confirm what a fine president he would make, especially when we consider his inherited prowess at capturing and dispositioning rodents, of which there are so many in DC.

I am convinced now, more than ever, that MK Bill must pursue his Presidential bid with vigor just as soon as he wakes up from his nap. Even though Bill is actually a Clinton Democrat, there is no sense of him bothering with a Primary with that current bunch, as Bill just remarked the other day that the New Democratic Party is seriously Shovel Ready. Instead, I am going to suggest that, being a cat and therefore having multiple wives, he should consider posing as a Mormon. So long as he doesn’t reveal his intentions to provide free CAT Scans as part of his health plan, I am sure this will be enough to convince the Republicans to give him a nod. Besides, he’s exponentially more interesting than the creatures they have as candidates to-date.

Vet, thank you for renewing my faith in Bill’s love of Country, as I do admit I was losing patience with him, what with his constant use of my charge card to investigate the Playcat Channel and the Live Nude Cats website. Now I understand that these are just the necessary diversions of a very patriotic cat who, like Newt Gingrich, is so patriotic, he sometimes ..…strays, and who, of course, aspires to fill Anthony Weiner’s seat, if not his shorts.

Trenton will never look the same to me again, and believe me, it never did look like much to me. Who knew?

Supreme Power

The Supremes have spoken!
Two major decisions have come down affecting women’s health. You can read about the buffer zone here and a full text of the Hobby Lobby decision here. I’m sure Uppity or SophieCT could probably write an excellent post about all this…until then…what say you Uppityites?

Elimination of “Buffer Zones”…..(shhh…except for the “Buffer Zones” in front of the Supreme Court!)

Buffer Zone
image from Bloomberg.com

and the Hobby Lobby case…..

Image from Examiner.com

Right now, I’m leaning more toward these Supremes:

***UPDATE #2***

**UPDATE**

Here’s the response from the White House:
“The Supreme Court ruled today that some bosses can now withhold contraceptive care from employees’ health coverage based on religious views that their employees may not even share. President Obama believes that women should make personal health care decisions for themselves rather than their bosses deciding for them. Today’s decision jeopardizes the health of women who are employed by these companies. As millions of women know firsthand, contraception is often vital to their health and well-being. That’s why the Affordable Care Act ensures that women have coverage for contraceptive care, along with other preventative care like vaccines and cancer screenings.”
“We will work with Congress to make sure that any women affected by this decision will still have the same coverage of vital health services as everyone else. President Obama believes strongly in the freedom of religion. That is why we have taken steps to ensure that no religious institution will have to pay or provide for contraceptive coverage. We’ve also made accommodations for nonprofit religious organizations that object to contraception on religious grounds. But we believe that a company should not be able to assert their views to deny employees federally mandated benefits. We will, of course, respect the Supreme Court ruling, and will continue to look for ways to improve Americans’ health by helping women have more, not less, say over their personal health decisions that affect them and their families.”

As usual, Obama passes the buck. He will “…work with Congress..” oh yeah, how’s that been workin’ for you so far?

The More Things Change….

Hey Uppityites! Are you ready for a summer field trip? Sure you are! Grab you cameras and your binoculars and let’s head over to the Natural History Museum!

I’m your tour guide, imusthaveHillary…you can call me imust. First off, imust point out the dinosaurs in the hall to the right.

And to our left you’ll notice the Neanderthals in their habitats.

Wow! I’m sure glad we’ve evolved since those days!!! Or have we?……………..

Japanese officials on Friday condemned the heckling of a member of Tokyo’s city assembly, during a debate on support for working mothers, by male members who ridiculed her and called on her to get married.

The incident comes amid a push by the government to increase the number of working women as a way to boost the economy and illustrates deep-seated conservative attitudes in Japan, where many men still believe that a woman’s place is in the home.

City assembly member Ayaka Shiomura, 35, was talking about measures to support child raising and boost fertility during a session on Thursday when male lawmakers interrupted her with cries of “Go and get married” and “Can’t you give birth?”

Here are the Neanderthals esteemed members of the assembly in Japan in action…..

The only thing positive about this story is there was an apparent outrage from the Japanese public.

The heckling prompted a flood of complaints to the government of Japan’s capital, which will play host to the Summer Olympic Games in 2020.

Well, I don’t know what the Olympic Games have to do with anything unless…..[gasp]…they’re worried about how this will look to the rest of the world!! On second thought, don’t worry about it Tokyo…the rest of the world is just as “evolved” as you are!

In an interview after the incident, Ayaka Shiomura had this to say:

JRT: Do you know who made the offensive remarks?

Ms. Shiomura: The jeering and laughter came from the section reserved for the Liberal Democratic Party. I submitted a request to specify and punish those who shouted the abusive words, but no one has come out to admit to it. The LDP didn’t deny the incident, but said there’s no evidence to punish anyone.

JRT: Any message for Japanese women?

Ms. Shiomura: To change the reality for women in Japan, more female politicians are needed. Also, anyone can observe the Tokyo Metropolitan Assembly. Please come to make sure how the politicians you voted for actually behave in the political forum.

I agree Ms. Shiomura! I think this woman might agree with you. She knows a lot about being heckled…..

Hillary’s Magical Mystery Tour

Since Hillary’s book, Hard Choices, is being released tomorrow, she has a rather busy schedule of book tour interviews.

cover

These are some of the events:

Monday, June 9, 9 PM: ABC, Diane Sawyer
Tuesday, June 10, 7 AM: ABC, Robin Roberts
Tuesday, June 10: NBC, Cynthia McFadden
Tuesday, June 10, 11 AM: NYC Barnes & Noble Book Signing in Union Square
Sunday, June 15, 9 AM: CBS, Jane Pauley
Tuesday, June 17, 5 PM: CNN, Christiane Amanpour in a Town Hall format
Tuesday, June 17, 6:45-7:15 PM): FNC, spanning Bret Baier & Greta Van Susteren

It did not escape our notice that she’s giving her interviews (predominantly) to women!

She was also on the cover of People Magazine this week.

hillary_people

And you’re not going to believe this, but Matt Drudge (no link for that Effer) actually had the nerve to say the cover shot looked like she was holding onto a walker. Seriously, they need better material.

See, just a patio chair.

See, just a patio chair.

The Ready for Hillary folks got a bus and I believe they intend to follow her book tour. Here’s their shiny rig:

magic_bus

Of course, everyone has the same Number One question and they will continue to ask it even though she won’t answer. Even if the answer is “Hell Yes!” she’s not going to answer one minute before Wednesday, November 5, 2014. And even then, she’d likely wait a bit longer too. So why do they keep asking?

I hear there will be live tweeting during the programs all week and will share the #hashtag as soon as I find out what it is.

Achieve this

 

hillz_desk

Among the many Hillary Meme’s going around social and anti-social media these days is the “What has she accomplished” meme. Joe Scarborough stumped the panel on that question. Bill Kristol couldn’t think of a thing. Krauthammer says she didn’t have one single achievement as SoS:

Look, you know, when people talk about Hillary being a superb Secretary of State, I just ask one question. Name me one thing, just one, not three, give me one thing she achieved in her four years as Secretary of State. I have yet to hear an answer…

It’s reminiscent of the WWTBQ meme from 2008. Apparently, it’s not a satisfactory answer to say that Hillary’s whole life is an accomplishment and an achievement. This question sounds like it’s right out of a Jane Austen novel.

(The “Accomplished Woman” rant comes in at about 2:00.)

I also think the question a trap. No matter what answer you give, they will surely give their canned reasons why that particular event or activity does not rise to the level of a true achievement. Whatever it is, it won’t be as good as insert male-name here and insert real-bold-initiative-that-cost-a-lot-of-money here. I personally thought it was a pretty significant achievement that she never waved a vial of yellow-cake uranium in anyone’s face to mislead the nation into a war.

People either missed (or are being deliberately obtuse) about her greatest achievement. Not one of those bloviating gasbags could have pulled off what she did. And what exactly was that?

Let’s rewind to 2008. She lost the primary. Some say Obama was a better campaigner. Some say her campaign organization was a mess. Some say the media burned her. Some say the Democratic Party Effed her over by redistributing her delegates and then added insult to injuery by not even having the decency to hold a legitimate floor vote (the purpose of a convention) to honor the achievement of getting more primary votes than any other presidential candidate. Ever.

If I were she, I’d have been pissed and not ready to make nice. But not Hillary. She kept her promise and did “campaign her heart out” for Obama. It was lucky for him too because he was done and exhausted halfway through the primaries. (Hence the media drumbeat for WWTBQ.)

Much to the consternation of her most ardent supporters, she agreed to serve her country and her president as Secretary of State. The Energizer Bunny with the work-ethic of a champion; the candidate who did all the homework, read all the documents, and knew what she was talking about; the intellectual capitalist and the brains of the bunch; the bookish, wonkish geek, GAVE it away to her opponent in the name of service.

She carried out his agenda and demonstrated that she is a woman of her word. She helped restore our reputation in the world, which had taken a nose-dive in the preceding eight years. (It wasn’t just Democrats that hated Cheney and Rumsfeld–it was the whole rest of the world.) She managed to carve out time for the important issues that no one else thought were important: the health, well-being, and rights of women and girls all over the world.

Because of her collegiality and pragmaticism, her highest accolades come from military and security men on the Right. Throughout her entire career, she served our whole country, not the Left and not the Right. Please read that last sentence again, because that’s a big Effing deal. She is not bound by a rigid allegiance to ideological purity—she is bound by common sense. She’s able to find common ground with anyone in order to serve the greater good.

Compare and contrast that with a party and pundits that so hate this president (and Democrats in general), they would sacrifice 238 years of American history to demonstrate their disdain. They don’t want to win anything—they just want the other side to lose everything. Their goal is actually a Pyrrhic victory. (Medea much?)

Despite being scrutinized to death, held up to a standard of perfection that no 10 others together could meet, she kicked and continues to kick ass. Most admired woman umpteen times in a row. Currently, over 80% of Dems want her to run for president. She commands hundreds of thousands of dollars for speaking engagements. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. Quite a few achievements for an unaccomplished woman.

Happy Birthday, Upps!

With Puma’s bearing gifts

puma_present

And balloons

bday_balloons

and cake

bday_cake

and single-malt Scotch (enough for everyone–well, at least enough for Uppity)

bday_single_malt

Time to get this party started

As luck would have it, it’s Saturday Night (with a little help from his friends*)

*Eric Clapton, Phil Collins, Ray King, Bryan Adams and others, live from the Prince’s Trust Concert.