Where In The World is Jimmy?

Remember when Jimmy Carter was all over the place, pimping the wonderfulness of Barack Obama — and actually advising him?

After brief laughter-inducing stints as Lincoln, FDR, JFK, MLK, Ronald Reagan and Teddy Roosevelt, how fitting it was that Barack finally settled on Jimmy Carter for his own image–considering that America is once again in the throes of a Jimmy-like, finger-wagging, wrist-slashing  Crises Of Confidence, whereby Barack “Feels your pain” just like Jimmy did! (Warning! Do not click on that Crises of Confidence video link if you are already Clinically Depressed. Click on it only if you have the desire to become Clinically Depressed).

I fully expected to see Barack start having FDR Fireside chats wearing a Jimmy cardigan. To Barack, Jimmy was his Warm Fuzzy. To most Americans, Jimmy was a reminder of Odd and Even Days At The Gas line in 90-degree heat, Chicken Little cries of impending  and nearly-immediate energy doom, Crises of Confidence speeches, and a time when the country was so despondent that a second term could have easily resulted in a mass suicide of American citizens. By the end of his term, Jimmy, simply put, made people wish they were dead. Trust me, anybody who was trying to get by during  The Carter  Years knows exactly what I mean. The rest of you can go ahead and wax romantic about Jimmy, but the truth is, it was the worst of times for them, possibly second only to These Times.

As his confidante, Jimmy gave Barack all kinds of things.

Two guys shoveling shit.

He is an Israel basher, which suits Barack just fine, and Jimmy gave him that lovely depressing  and disgusted-with-you-stupid-people Aura that Barack grasped easily and transmits so well. But most of all, Jimmy gave him Jidhadist-Lover *Zbigniew Brzezinski. You know, the guy in this video, telling a bunch of goatf*ckers and woman-killers,
“Your cause is right. God is on your side.”.  Yay Taliban! Now that’s Barack’s kind of advisor!

Has anyone noticed that we haven’t seen or heard much of Jimmy these days? I so wanted to be able to use all the graphics I had collected and now I have nowhere to put them, as Jimmy seems to have gotten the boot. So I guess I will just have to use them here.

I guess the Barack campaign’s mental infants finally figured out that Jimmy’s Way made him a One-Termer.

Anyways, to make sure that Barack no longer conjures up those old, familiar Carter feelings amongst the similarly beaten down Americans, we now have Jimmy posing as an Obama Critic, using the appropriate Human Rights criticisms(without actually naming Mr. Special, of course) . This should work out well since Obama so enjoys his favorite computer game of killing people with drones. Considering the way Obama rolls, this criticism could be trumped-up or real. In any event, if you subtract the drones but insert Zbig cheering Jihad on, Barack Obama is indeed the clinical-depression-inducing, finger-wagging, Recession-creating, Jew-hating  Jimmy Carter. And like Jimmy, he wants Peace. Except if you are a Jew,act like an infidel,  have a problem with swarms of people illegally hopping our borders to trade guns, sell drugs and use our emergency rooms as doctors’ offices, the cost of which is passed onto us –  or   if you wince at the thought of International Goatf*cking Laws trumping the Constitution (See Harold Koh). Ah well, minor details!

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*You can meet the Apple of Zbig’s Eye over at CNN. Her name is Mika and, in keeping with our totally unbiased, straight-reporting press,  she’s probably not biased at all, right?