“He Really Puts The Ass in Compassion”

Here’s a little Jimmy Kimmel roundup of the big  beautiful president doing a big beautiful terrific job in Puerto Rico.

DLAMsiiVoAAjuPDI don’t care what anybody says, the throwing of paper towels into the crowd will definitely go down in history.

He did point out that Many People Are Saying what a Terrific Job he did with those paper towels. It was Fantastic. I thought he especially inspired confidence when he told them to Have A Good Time.

That is why every desperate Puerto Rican leader couldn’t wait to go up to the mic when he told them to tell him what a Terrific Job he’s doing  even though they are fucking up the USA budget because they’re not Texas or Florida. After all, they’re not even all that White. Not to mention their debt, which includes that $33 million for his own Golf Course Project that went belly up.

So, overall, Donald  is the empathy king isn’t he? He rightfully points out that those g’damned Puerto Ricans won’t drive their own trucks to the port to pick up food and supplies. You would think they would want to help themselves a little bit, hey? I mean just because they don’t have any gasoline, the roads are still not passable and, in some cases their trucks are gone, is no reason not to come pick up their paper towels for Chrissakes!

I also thought it was particularly charming of him to tell them that they’re lucky more of them didn’t die like they did in that REAL hurricane Katrina.

Also, then there’s the Irony thing……

In addition to having the nerve of costing us at least 1/4 of what Texas cost us, those damned non-members of the Master Race, well….

“They want everything done for them!”

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The Losers’ Museum

So many statues, so few options!

What to do? What to do!! What to do with all those statues of the Founders of the Misfits Society that later morphed into the varying versions of the KKK, Neo-Nazis, White Nationalists/Supremacists, and other assorted borderline-humans under the partially Euphemistic name of the “Alt Right,” guys who can’t get dates with women who have all their teeth. There is that ongoing inbreeding problem too, but we’ll save that for another day. For example: Think of that joke about West Virginia. 2 million people, 6 last names.

ImTinyGirls never liked them. And everybody knew why. Except them. So all that built up testosterone created angst. They had to blame somebody. They needed something to convince themselves of their own superiority. If only their ancestors, also known as participants in treason, had won that war, they’d have somebody to pick on regularly in order to validate themselves!  I know! Let’s pretend we’re still fighting it! That way we could have big-assed guns, because nothing says “I’m fat and disgusting and my penis is tiny” like a really big gun.

They’re mad. Really mad! Like crazier-than-a-rat-in-a-coffee-can mad!  Just ask one of their leaders, Christopher Cantwell.

He’s a really tough character. Man, I wouldn’t want to fuck with him, you know? I mean he carries firearms in every available body slot, except up his own ass. Well, maybe he did have one up his ass and just didn’t want to bend over and show everybody what a complete asshole he is. But this guy has guns up the ying-yang! See?

This adds a whole new meaning to having a License To Carry. And Carry. And Carry.

Incidentally, that clip didn’t include his remark of how sick it makes him to see that Kushner Jew walking with that beautiful girl that Trump gave to him.

Anyways…..Tough guy! Well……at least he SEEMED tough — until he found out there was a warrant for his arrest. Then he cried like a baby.

Okayyyyyyy. You see what I mean? Nobody loves this guy because he’s not lovable. And he wants love. Any volunteers?

I didn’t think so.

But……but…….He did everything he could to “Keep it peaceful”.  Like nighttime torch marches ala 1930s Berlin and like barring a minister and her church members from leaving the church while terrorizing them. And there was that little matter of one of his crackpots driving his car into a crowd and killing someone. How could we possibly find this sweet man and his Neo Nazi companions offensive? The nerve of us!

Now back to the statues. I digressed from the Statues. I can do that, it’s my blog. So now, back to our post title.

“Beautiful” Robert E Lee

There are all these statues! Or as Donald J. Trump, “The least racist person on earth” put it, “All those beautiful statues”. Because we all know there is something really “beautiful” about guys on horses who were willing to kill and let their troops die for the right to keep and sell slaves. What a guy! Now I could be off-base here, but I find it difficult to see anything “beautiful” about a guy who did that. But hey, that’s just me!

So what DO we do with all those statues of Racism and Treason in bronze? Recently, someone on Tee Vee mentioned the possibility of putting all these Statues of Losers In War and Love into a museum. I LOVE this idea!

We could call it the Museum of White Men Who Went to War to Defend Their Right to Keep and Sell Black People As Slaves.

I’m thinking they could add some realism to the displays. For example:

They could depict General Robert E. Lee getting his ass royally jacked by General Ulysses S. Grant.

…….Or how about showing Stonewall Jackson getting shot by his own dumb-as-a-brick sentinels?

And, what the hell, there’s plenty of room for assholes who think they should eliminate everybody who isn’t an asshole like they are, so they could also throw in General Custer  and depict him getting blown away while attempting to eliminate the people who were here in the USA first. There could be a quote from Sitting Bull saying “We Are Sick Of This Shit”.

“Father Of Gynecology”

They could even include that statue of the Father Of Gynecology, Dr. James Marion Sims. There are statues of him in Columbia SC and New York, New York. The problem with the Father of Gynecology is he performed painful experiments on black women slaves – without an anesthetic- To add realism to this display, I suggest they display the Sims statue along with a statue of a black woman slave cutting his balls off without an anesthetic. Seems fair.

Yes, by all means, do let us gather up all these statues, and I also respectfully suggest we drill a hole in all of their asses and firmly implant Confederate Flags on appropriate-sized poles–right up their ‘superior’ asses. That way we will indeed not erase history.

Post Script: Check out the vice.com full episode of Charlottesville and Cantwell’s “Peaceful as possible” neo-nazi goombahs.

https://news.vice.com/story/vice-news-tonight-full-episode-charlottesville-race-and-terror

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Presidential Portrait has been completed!

Let’s Play A Game.

If a dead tree falls on a Dolt’s head in the forest….

If a dead tree in the forest falls on a dolt’s head and there’s nobody there, is he still a dolt?

Hint: That is not Henry David Thoreau.

I maintain that Ivanka has her mother’s brains and her father’s Sleazy “Trust me Sucker” personality.

The Dolt Brothers, on the other hand, have their father’s brains and Sleazy personality. Well, Donnie Jr does, Eric is too dumb to even have a personality. It’s a damned good thing grandpa left daddy rich or they would both be skimming charge cards at a gas station.

You can just see in the above photo op that Donnie Jr. is asking a question while sitting on a stump in the woods under a dying tree. The poetic symbolism is astounding. And also, he is fortunate that the endangered species he will be sneaking up on to kill hasn’t found him first. So far.

So what’s the question Donnie Jr. is asking, you ask? You are asking that, right?

Which brings me to the answer. The answer is,

“No Donnie, you just aren’t hot enough for Daddy. Ivanka is his favorite and always will be. Live with it, Donnie. She’s FLOTUS now and you are relegated to hiring a thousand  H-2A people to pick your grapes. Which is okay, because Daddy made a point not to include them in his Executive Order so as not to disturb you and Mar-A-Lago staff. Atta boy, Donnie. Hire American! Merika! Because we’re sure you will make a killing providing all the White House wine at a snappy price.

And stop worrying about the obvious fact that you are nothing to your father compared to Ivanka. You’ll always have Pepe The Frog to love you. And after all, you ARE still a member of the our own Romanov family.

**Next, we will discuss the rumor that Eric could possibly be Gary Busey’s biological son.