If getting away from this country without leaving looks good right now…how about a cave?


Ok, break open that piggy bank. For a mere $3,000,000, you can own your own underground very cleverly designed cave home nestled into rock on 2.8 acres in Festus, Missouri. I guess they are downsizing due to the economy. They just can’t afford the home any longer and have 90 days to pull off a sale. I somehow think that the Stimulus plan wasn’t meant for a situation like this, but who knows?

Apparently, this was a famous cave at one time. It’s divided into three chambers which now are used this way:

The front chamber houses the main part of the 3-bedroom finished house.

The middle chamber holds the laundry room, storage, and a spare bath. The middle chambe(r) made a great party room. 80 feet by 80 feet.

The back chamber still has the stage where Ted Nugent, Bob Seger, Ike and Tina Turner, the MC5 and many other bands performed.

You for sure will be far enough away from burglars, muggers and any other assorted types that seem to be growing in numbers in this economy. Considering the looks of this place, if someone took the time to trek to your home, he has already earned whatever he takes. Besides that, you could actually blow somebody away near this place, never to be found again.

Your mother-in-law probably won’t like the location, so that could be a plus, too.

I don’t imagine the Postmaster General will arrange mail delivery to your door though, but small price to pay. Get a postal box in town. Or better yet, just hide out and don’t pick up your mail at all and instruct them to put the junk mail in the circular file for you. Bank of America won’t be able to get those weekly mailers to you–the ones that pimp a low interest rate in hopes you will crank up the balance before they hike the rate up to 26%, hoping you won’t notice.

I”ll bet your pets will love it there too.  Lots of rock for the kitties to climb, no more sharpening those claws on the couch. Great place for the dog to run and play Lassie too.

Apparently, plenty of other people feel the same way about the place. The seller has received so many questions that Ebay can’t handle them. So he’s got another “Caveland” site for questions from possible buyers. No bids yet though, so I imagine plenty of dreamers are asking questions. And there are also the Caring folks, like the person suggesting everybody donate $5 to help the owners keep their home. A couple of million donations and Poof! Their problems are over.

Not a bad looking place for a cave, either. It has 15,000 or 17,000  square feet (not sure which). This means you could fit your entire existing house inside of here and it wouldn’t be in the way at all.

Must be a bitch to clean though.


Interesting entrance too, if that’s what this is.  I’m kind of cave-dumb when we get past stalagmites. Whatever this is, it’s a modern-day Batman’s dream! I bet the religious solicitors you’ve been trying to get rid of for decades won’t be stopping by. No kids being forced to go door to door to raise yet more money for their schools, while you are still festering over your last tax payment. Probably no newspaper delivery either.  You would just have to get your propaganda elsewhere. I do see a driveway so there obviously is a road to the entrance. You would have to block it off if you really want to get away. Those religous solicitors can be tenacious if they see a driveway.


Now all you need is the $3,000,000.  A Dealbreaker would occur if you couldn’t get the internet there, right?


14 Responses

  1. Aren’t they screwed because it was a subprime loan?

  2. I have no idea. Looks like they put all of their savings and the wife’s inheritance into the house. I don’t think that was very smart. It’s living above your means with no cushion to fall back on. I know it was their “dream” but Americans everywhere have dreams. Sometimes, you have to figure reality into the mix.

    In a way it’s a “Boo hoo, three million”. In another way, you almost feel sorry for them.

  3. Anyone? Obama?

  4. Nuts–I meant, anyone? OSAMA?

    Oh never mind…

  5. C’mon guys! Easy on the sensitive cavemen. Even
    they are having trouble making ends meet in
    this obameconomy.

    This morn on CNBC, Barf said uh uh, because
    of the shitty economy he INHERITED —-
    (“hey not my fault!”), he’s going to (somebody
    hold down Uppity) put us into debt by another
    $9 trillion in the next 10 years.

    Is it possible to raise that amount ANYWHERE?
    Yup and Uppity TOLD us this was coming, but
    what’s a lousy trillion anyway?

    Oh, and Barf, in stride with his edyoukayshun plan called for an end to government subsidy of Sally Mae today, which should be a big help in giving American students a leg up on the world, huh?

    Sally Mae said ouch=
    Feb. 26 (Bloomberg) — President Barack Obama is urging an end to government subsidies for student loan providers such as Sallie Mae and Citigroup Inc., with the government becoming the sole provider of federally backed college lending.

    The government now offers direct loans through colleges, as well as guarantees for loans made by private lenders such as New York-based Citigroup and Reston, Virginia-based Sallie Mae, officially SLM Corp. Obama proposed the change in the budget he submitted to Congress today for the fiscal year beginning Oct. 1.

    SLM fell $3.54, or 42.2 percent, to $4.85 as
    of 12:34 p.m. in New York Stock Exchange
    composite trading.

    “The market is shaken by this,” said David
    Long, an analyst with William Blair & Co. in
    CHICAGO!!!! Federally backed loans are Sallie Mae’s “core business,” he said.


  6. HAL,
    “government becoming the sole provider of federally backed college lending.”

    Given the old truth, “He who pays the piper calls the tune,” the only subjects taught will be those that Obama’s pal William Ayers designs.

  7. Mary Salie Mae’s stock dropped 40% because of barfy today.

  8. Mary, the assumption that every person in America should go get a college degreee ensures two things….

    1. Further dumbing down of education to get them through and
    2.) Denegrating the value of a college degree so that it will be the next High School Education.

    It’s just plain dumb. Not all people are college material. Dumbing down our schools (and as a person who returned to college for another degree to change careers, I can attest it IS dumbed down) serves no useful purpose whatsoever. Instead of inept people you only have inept people with a degree. This will ensure that you won’t be able to get a decent job without a GRADUATE degree.

    This is why we can’t find a decent plumber or electrician, two professions, I might add, that make more money than most of these pissant college degree graduates will fetch.

  9. The cave folks there will be getting kaboodled out of their cave if they can’t pony up the cash soon enough? Sad. The $3 mil dream home could have been downscaled to something way more moderate and less costly. But in the recent day of feast until burst, it was more fashionable to live large. Just encouraged people to live beyond their means.

  10. Looks like the BatCave. I could live there and be very happy as long as my whole family was there too. It may be a nice safe haven for some lucky people when the sh** hits the fan down the road. Could keep your guns safe and house livestock if you need to. Wish i had the bucks! Obama and the govt. have totally lost their minds and we are being pulled down in the undertow. Fox had a great statistic this morning:

    1 Trillion measured in seconds, would take 32,000 YEARS to count.

    That’s only ONE. Think of what they are proposing!! They are desensitizing everyone because they throw around these terms like they were every day numbers. Yes it’s phantom dollars, but really, it’s staggering to try and comprehend! People have to wake up and do something. They are not even trying to hide anything anymore. How can Americans not get involved?

    Glenn Beck had a great show on today. If it is available any where take the time to watch it.

  11. UW we could always go the way of Germany. Test kids in high school, depending on how the test they go to one of three types of schools.
    Brainiac College
    Intermediate College
    Vocational School
    By the time you graduate from HS your future is planned out for you.
    There is a forth level that combines the three for the handicapped.

  12. Why is DC getting a voting member of Congress? They are not a State! Isn’t this unconstitutional? Isn’t this a conflict of interest situation? Why the heck did the Senate ever pass this? Does Puerto Rico have voting members of Congress? Seriously, sorry for my ignorance but I don’t know that answer so can somebody tell me? Thanks. If PR doesn’t have voting rights in Congress, they should be really pi****.

  13. I am seriously considering helping my child figure out a way to learn a trade before he goes to college. I want him to go to college, but the way things are going, a degree will be worthless. He could work towards that degree, grow up a little bit, and then be able to start a sole-prop business if he wants to.

    The schools are definitely dumbed down, Uppity. It goes along with the plan to increase the size of the middle class. How is it the middle if everyone is in it? That will not make the poor more rich, it will make the middle class poorer. You may have more money, but your money will be worth less. That is exactly where we are headed…….the ruling class and the everyone else class.

  14. living in a cave-house would be ideal; nothing but peace and quiet all the time

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