Note: Open threads this week are preloaded. I will check in when I can. Play nice, mmmkayyy?.
Do not…….I repeat……..do not show this post to Bill.
I recall when my late cat Judy often received credit card offers in the mail. Although I was tempted to get her a nice ViSA with a photo of a cat on it, I was afraid that if I did this, Judy might actually use the card. As anybody who has ever lived with a cat knows, You Never Know.
Meet Oreo C. Collins. She’s a smart cat. In fact, she’s so smart, she got her High School Diploma online.
Rescued from a ditch when she was no more than a teeny, tiny ball of fluff, Oreo C. Collins, a 2-year-old tuxedo cat from Macon, Ga., may be the very first in her family to obtain a ‘high school diploma’ — online or off. (Of course, we may never know for sure because, as she wrote in her “life experience essay” portion of the test, she’s adopted.)
In fact, Oreo is so smart, she was at the top of her class, really.
“Oreo’s a really smart cat,” Collins said in a telephone interview with msnbc.com. So smart that Oreo garnered mostly As in the online test, with some of her credits earned from her aforementioned life experience essay about her adoption into the Collins family.
Note: Bill. Is. Such. A. Slacker!
I do think it was wonderful that Oreo’s human went the extra mile to educate Oreo, who, having been rescued from the side of the road, had such a rough start. This is truly a success story and a shining example that, no matter what your beginnings, you too can advance yourself. Her human paid the $200 fee so that Oreo could take her GED test, which she passed with flying colors. And like all doting parents, Oreo’s human could not resist helping out his little boy.
In the spirit of full disclosure, it should be noted that Collins did help Oreo with both the answers and the essay. But to be fair, Oreo stayed in his lap throughout the test, and Collins got a little help, too.
“If you miss a question, the test gives you a hint that tells you the answer is,” Collins said.
I find this very similar to schools for little humans these days, don’t you? I mean, let’s face it, sooner or later they will pass you. And there are always those trophies just for showing up. But we won’t get into that.
There’s more to our Oreo success story. Oreo not only got her diploma online, she performed a huge public service, because guess who her owner is? Why, Kelvin Collins is the CEO of the Better Business Bureau of Central Georgia .
The thing is, Oreo’s “High School Diploma” from Jefferson High School Online is not the equivalent of the GED. In other words, Oreo’s $200 diploma isn’t worth spit. However, this patriotic cat is more than pleased that she was able to serve as a warning for future cats who want to get their GEDs online. Oreo was part of the BBB investigation of online diploma mills.
Oreo is not all that upset that her diploma is worthless and she remains unemployed, since she probably never intended to find a job anyhow. Her job is to be the family cat. And since I’m sure she’s well cared for at home and probably isn’t into bright shiny objects, preferring cardboard boxes and an occasional large dose of the old Niperoni, as far as she’s probably concerned, there’s no harm done. Besides, and her “diploma” experience will help two-legged candidates understand that many of these online diploma sites will take your money and give you a diploma that isn’t worth the powder to blow it up with. Good kitty!
Meanwhile, Oreo remains unemployed, having yet to test the usefulness of her new diploma, which may be all the more worthless given the fact that Collins admittedly lied about Oreo’s age on the test. No need to worry about her future, Collins assures. “Like Oreo wrote in her test essay, she always lands on her feet.”
But boy, would I love to read Oreo’s essay.
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