Good thing we went for the Heavy Duty tin foil!
Here at Uppity Woman’s blog, and I’m sure at many other blogs and sites where people who have some sense hang out, when the “balloon boy” story “broke,” we looked upon the entire incident with jaundiced eye. Our common sense and some semblence of an IQ told us instantly that this story was raw bullshit.
Not so in the case of American so-called journalists and reporters.
Our networks and news channels followed that ridiculous balloon everywhere it went; Talking heads were wincing and gasping at what was to become of this poor little con-artist-in-training–while we smelled another Octomom rat in the making. I mean, look at that thing! It’s straight out of 1950s Science Fiction, for God’s sakes!
” Oh Me Oh My!111!1!!!!!” the reporters crowed.
A boy in the balloon!
Oh look! The ballon hit the ground! Gasp!
But….but….there’s no boy in it! zOMG!
What if….what if….. what if the poor little boy fell out of the balloon and is road pizza even as we speak!
Whew! He never was in the balloon! A happy ending! Happy! Happy! Happy!
Come on boy! Milk it with me!
His parents are sooooooooo happy! Happy Happy Happy!
Let’s interview them. Over and over and over again. And again. And again.
So what if the kid’s parents are two crackpots who have already participated in the Wife Swap show. Twice. Okay so the father chases hurricanes and takes the kids with him, as we all do. Right?
I mean hey, listen, this could happen to ANYBODY, right? They were inventing a flying-saucer balloon that would hover over traffic right there in their garage, as we all do. Right?
A quick trip to youtube would reveal what a complete and utter crackpot, nutjob family this is. Ten minutes watching Dad, with his hair carefully styled to look normally windblown, and you knew you were in the presence of the poster boy for the word Dysfunctional. But when you are uncurious and lazy, why bother? Besides, this is getting ratings! No sense of rocking that ratings boat! The raping of the Middle Class in America is sooooooo boring compared to this!
“I know!” they crooned. It’s the ratings, stupid. So what if everything we tell you and show you is bullshit. So what else is new?
Let’s cover this story some more and show America just how gullible and uncurious we really are! Let’s show America that we are so tabliod that now the National Enquirer actually gets news right before we do. Especially if it’s news we don’t want you to hear, like the truth about Al Gore’s own balloon hoax, or how America’s wealth is being transferred overseas. You know, that’s just boring shit.
“And let’s do this right,” they crooned. Let’s haul out the video of the little con-artist-in-training hurling puke on two network shows. Look how the interviews just keep going even though the kid warns he’s going to vomit. Oooooooh are there any chunks???! This is greaaaaaat for ratings! Let’s show that puke video at dinnertime, our viewers will LOVE that, don’t you think?
Let’s pretend this is a serious story and we are serious reporters, neither of which is true any longer.
Journalism in the USA: Many of us knew it was already flatlined during the 2008 primaries and election. It was unplugged from life support last week when someone switched off the microphone of an environmental journalist who asked Al Gore to address the 9 gross lies in his Inconvenient Academy Award movie. Yes, Journalism was already dead. But a balloon story– that was such obvious bullshit that only a fool would buy it — provided the burial plot.
Now journalism is buried. Say goodbye and accept your closure. Throw a flower on the casket before we lower these jokes called News Channels into the ground where they belong.
FORT COLLINS, Colo. (AP) — The parents who set off a worldwide drama by reporting their 6-year-old son was inside a flying saucer-like helium balloon hurtling over Colorado concocted the stunt to market themselves for a television show, a sheriff said Sunday.
Geeze, what a surprise. I’m shocked. Shocked I tell you.
Alderden said the parents Richard and Mayumi Heene “put on a very good show for us, and we bought it.”
You did? Then I can do your job better than you can and I don’t know squat about police work. I truly hope you never have to solve a murder.
Once the device landed, sheriff’s officials discovered it was made with plastic tarps taped together and covered with aluminum foil, with a utility box made of a very thin piece of plywood, cardboard on the side, held together with string and duct tape, Alderden said.
I’m rolling my eyes here.
But not to worry. They will get their reality show right after they get probation. After all, the networks have to help them pay off that half million dollar fine, with a nice chunk left over. And who knows? Maybe they can get the kid to hurl chunks again in episode three. Americans will be so happy while their constitution is being ripped to shreds by the new International Law–they will hardly notice.
Crime. In America, it pays. And apparently, so does stupidity.
Orson Wells could have duped these knuckleheads with a rerun of The War of The Worlds. So what’s next? An interview with Miles about the Pods?:
Filed under: Uncategorized |
--Graphic by Freedom Fairy
"This is not culture. This is not custom. This is criminal."
Uppity Woman 
OT, but I have a new blog post up on why I’m going to be even more critical and insulting of President Jackass.
http://daysofchange.wordpress.com/2009/10/19/day-349-you-suck-barack/
As far as balloon boy, the dad is probably going to play wife swap in prison.
Awesome synopsis, UW. Balloon Boy left egg on a lot of faces, and the discomfort is well-deserved.
In a related observation, local TV stations here are showing more and more national news. Cost-cutting or Obama edict?
I know I heard this on NBC NY today during the 5 AM hour: Sonia Sotomayor was quoted as saying (probably for her swearing in ceremony) that the thing was incredibly scripted. For instance, she was instructed to bring 5 suits with her. One would be chosen for her to wear. Think she was speaking somewhere local to NY. Could not find write-up to verify anything. Not surprised. Surprised only that it made it to airtime at all.
Pamela – I recall hearing about that a few weeks back too.
As for The Tin Foil Hat Family and their Media Enablers – I am SO DAMN SICK of hearing about this story I could scream. It was Bullshit to begin with, it is Bullshit now.
We have an economy in the tank, 11.4% unemployment in my county, healthcare rip-off legislation bouncing around Congress like a three-card-monty game and troops in Afghanistan hiding behind plastic bags to stay alive while Barry dithers and romps around the world accepting awards for just BEING.
But don’t worry. American Idol should be cranking up soon.
I think the beginning of the end was when entire TV channels started being created for “news”. When I was young, back in prehistoric days, the three channels only had about a half hour to belt out the news every evening. They had to get it right or people would switch the channel to one that did. No actor/models propped up on a chair pretending to be journalists. No opinions. No spiffy graphics. Just the news that happened that day.
Nowdays, news programs are indistinguishable from reality TV shows….with the exception that most people understand that the reality shows are mostly BS.
Journalism jumped the shark so long ago….the only positive thing that could come outta this is the death of “reality” shows in general…………….( Although this may be wishful thinking….) We have become a nation trapped in “Magical Thinking” Most human beings row out of this normal stage of childhood by puberty….But in a nation stuck on a Gilligan’s Island of gullibility speaking out for common sense could lose a person their job….and seems to provoke derision in the population…..a sort of don’t rain on my fantasy island parade mentality. Last week a certifiable nut job showed up in a hummer limo and claimed her fictional lottery winnings would pay for the customers purchases….When the hoax was revealed there was a riot as the customers expected something for nothing and began to loot the store cause you know they st wouldn’t budge from Fantasy Island and someone ( the Man ) was gonna give them their due….( Like the idiot that waxed poetic joyous on OILSOC paying her bills at the nomination…..) Sometimes we become so embarrassing….It’s scary to leave the house…..sheeesh!
Good article Uppity…..
http://www.nypost.com/p/news/weird_but_true/weird_but_true_J3zVP5gJWN5FgOYh5VJo8H
link to the riot story…..
OT….but interesting none the less…..
http://www.americanthinker.com/2009/10/imagined_ethnicity_and_obama.html#
That American Thinker piece was REALLY interesting.
I had to laugh, Obama had just landed for a pit stop in New Orleans and the media was perched to ask what he had done for the rebuilding effort. He made a lot of promises during his campaign, so how are those levees coming?? Immediately they cut away from his town hall and said, “look, a shiny object in the sky! I think it’s a UFO with a six yr old on it!”
In an instant, nobody was even thinking Obama, New Orleans, campaign promises. Was it deliberate? Probably not, but it sure served the President well.
“Obvious hoax confirms media gullibility, laziness, lack of curiosity and the death of journalism in America”
Great Title!
This is a fitting Tomb Stone for the corrupt, lazy, personally extremely biased, journalist wannabe media stars!
btw, have you seen this?
Over Here, Mr. Obama!! White Beauty Queen May Require Beer Summit at Traditionally Black College in VA
White beauty queen at US black uni pens plea to Obama
The “Homecoming Queen” at a traditionally black US university has sent a letter to President Barack Obama, complaining that her win had been questioned on campus because she is white.
But after her letter riled students at Hampton University in Virginia, beauty pageant winner Nikole Churchill issued a public apology, saying she had taken “the comments of a few and blew them out of all proportion.”
Churchill, a tall, raven-haired woman who, like Obama, grew up in Hawaii, wrote to the president after winning her university’s beauty pageant last week.
http://countusout.wordpress.com/2009/10/19/over-here-mr-obama-white-beauty-queen-may-require-beer-summit/
And that HOAX was soooooo…. obvious from the start of checking into that family and this incident…..
speaking of gullibility……( in a general sense of course….)
http://www.denverpost.com/ci_13591564#
the money quote conclusion summed up….folks won’t game the system…..
Do these liberals ever go to any local Welfare office or have they been keeping track of ACORN ?
Sheeeeesh!
disclaimer: I used to be a kind of centrist sorta liberal life long democrat until I became a bilbleclingingbittermeopausalraaaacistguntotinhillbillycrakkkerformerdemocraticdeadenderindependent
OH YEAH!
AND REMEMER (never let O-boughts forget!)
THAT
HEENE MAN WAS AN O-BOUGHT SUPPORTER!
(He put up a hideous Hillary rant last year on YouTube.)
One of the typical O-Bought supporters I’m sure!
…..not that I’m a fan of the insurance companies….BUT…..Can we not at least represent this as what it is….a ploy to break the industry and leave one alternative only…..I mean if I want to live in Europe or a banana republic I don’t have to relocate….looks like it’s comin to me….I just hope I get heat during the winter in my new OFFICIAL GOVT. ISSUE FEMA TRAILER IN UTAH….So’s I can toke on my govt. issue hopey bong while I watch Dear Leader on the US TeeVee…..( I hear it can get downright chilly in Utah despite the global warming….)
Oh crap are we getting Fema trailers out here ? Settles it I am leaving. lol. Does it get cold here ? – 27 with wind chill of -80 at times and wow to think we are all going to get to pay tons more to heat. Man I love this great nation.
Ah you can stop the world and let me off now.
Speaking of the Banana republic lol
rflmao…….
Well…
as usual Upp, you said it all.
ps: I love Satie too! On rainy days for some reason I love to listen to that piece from yesterday.
This, from the American Thinker story, is
particularly revealing about what Barky
REALLY feels about blacks:
An except from “Dreams of My Father” goes:
“And we the half-breeds and the college
degreed, take a survey of the situation
and think to ourselves, Why should we get
lumped in with THE LOSERS if we don’t
have to?”
WOW.
Does Obama thinki of blacks as losers?
Well, he (or Bill Ayers) wrote it and I can’t’
believe Barky didn’t at least approve
of it. As Uppity says, interesting.
BTW, if anyone had trouble navigating
to the American Thinker website, (I did)
just enter the words American Thinker
in your browser to get the latest issue.
As for journalism’s death, that happened
long ago for both broadcast and
print media. Hell, VISUAL media has
been tricking us for over a half century.
Nothing new. Photogs probably coached
the “balloon boy” to vomit.
H
Utahwoman’s Banana Republic video is
a must-see!! Fair warning though=
Protect computer monitors and keyboards
from blasts of whatever you’re drinking
(or eating) and better get some DEPENDS,
too!
Oof da!!!!!!!!!
Sorta figures. We live in an age of narcissim. If feels like the last days of the empire–intsead of bread and circuses we have realtiy T.V. shows and leaders who give speeches getting Nobel Peace Prizes. Ballon Boy is the logical conclusion, and BTW, I hear that there is already a video game about Ballon Boy.
Yup- the media never fails to show how totally incompetent they are…and yet, they keep patting themselves on the back and giving themselves awards for a job well done, the asswipes.
Oh…and the father should be thrown in jail and those kids should be given some protection from their parents who are subjecting them to this behavior. I heard the dad is controlling and abusive toward them. What a shame, those kids being taught to lie in order to be “famous” on TV…just sick.
“What a shame, those kids being taught to lie in order to be “famous” on TV…”
It’s okay Nunly, they’re just following in their president’s footsteps.
the parents are balloon heads
““What a shame, those kids being taught to lie in order to be “famous” on TV…”
It’s okay Nunly, they’re just following in their president’s footsteps.”
best line of the day!
ROFL! Yeah they’re practicing to go to Washington.
Hmmmm….verrrry interestink……
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,568463,00.html
Investigators are examining the possibility of other conspirators, “including the possibility that even some of the media outlets may have had some knowledge about this,” Alderden said.
Two thumbs up on the article, UW. When I first heard about it, I put a sceptical smirk on my face, but held back my pirateer laugh until the media was sitting there full-on with egg on their faces. Then I got an even bigger laugh when I heard an ex-coworker say that we should get some money from the parents too, for putting us through all that. BwaHaHaaaa!!!!
Funny video, Utah. Made my eyes tear up with laughter.
WorkingClass at 11:58pm – Sending out a solid round of applause to you for that comment. Take a bow!!!!!
UW,
Kudos on a comprehensive skewering of the media! However, credit where credit is due: just as the Enquirer has become more trustworthy than the NYT, so that sensatist Geraldo broadcast, from the outset, that the balloon story was a hoax.
Yea I had to get up and go to the ladies room before I finished watching it too. Then seeing that Korean thing made me sick lmao
Pragmatically speaking…
“Just LOOK at that thing!”
Jiffy-Pop? Mr. Mustard’s Chef’s Hat?
Just LOOK at it.
Yep – there was a boy in there alright. That was a given (not) when it landed and a guy chasing it secured it and started beating the crap out of it with a shovel – AND NOT ONE NEWS ANCHOR said “WTF is that idiot doing!?”
Bahahah, I saw the man start beating the balloon, FF. I cracked up and nearly choked on my lunch. Whoever that dude was, remind me not to ask for his help if I ever misplace a child. We’ll find the little sucker for you, we’re just going to beat him out of hiding with a shovel!
He thought a pod was in there.
Good post UW, agreed the balloon story was fishy from the outset. But the MSM ate it up with a spoon.
Completely OT, but funny. I copied this from a post on a cancer site I frequent. The topic was health care reform
Let me get this straight.
We’re going to pass a health care plan written by a committee whose
head says he doesn’t understand it,
passed by a Congress that hasn’t read it but exempts themselves from it,
signed by a president that also hasn’t read it, and who smokes,
with funding administered by a treasury chief who didn’t pay his taxes,
overseen by a surgeon general who is obese,
and financed by a country that’s nearly broke.
What possibly could go wrong?
This is very reassuring!
If you wanna catch a fish ya gotta use the right bait.
If you want the media to bite hook, line and sinker then build a metallic object.
LOOK – something shiny!
Works every time.
(but missing white girls work even better)
Somebody,
Excellent find.
another excellent day for the press…..
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