I’ll have the grilled In Vitro Wasted Muscle Tissue With Baked Po. May I see the wine list?

I’m fairly convinced that people will eat just about anything if it’s deep fried in lard and served with cocktail sauce on the side. This can be confirmed by simply watching this:

Yum. Sorry I missed that and I know you are too.

Sometimes I have been known to prepare things like chili with a mixture of ground beef and that fake soy ground beef that comes in a frozen bag. It’s not bad at all, but then it’s all buried in chili. I mean, let’s face it, if you get the spices right, you can put a piece of your shoe in chili. So, it’s not as if I am unwilling to try new things. But I do have my limits and I am fairly certain those limitations would be reached with this product:

It seems that scientists have now grown pork in a test tube. Well not exactly pork, but…

The research team, funded by a major sausage maker and the Dutch government, used cells from a live pig to grow pork muscle tissue in a Petri dish. After extracting cells called myoblasts from the muscle of a live pig, the scientists then incubated the myoblasts in a nutrient solution, which allowed the cells to multiply and create muscle.

In Vitro Wasted Muscle Tissue Burger

Yum! Myoblasts. Sounds delicious! And not harmful at all!

The implications of this breakthrough in “in vitro meat,” as it’s sometimes called, are potentially enormous.

Physiology professor Mark Post of Eindhoven University, who led the research team, believes it could make it possible to end world hunger. “You could take the meat from one animal and create the volume of meat previously provided by a million animals,” he told the media in the United Kingdom.

In vitro wasted muscle tissue. The other white almost-meat. I see. We love us our engineered food, yes we do! Why do I smell a whiff of Monsanto here. Oh, nevermind.

Making meat in a laboratory instead of a feed lot could also reduce climate change by eliminating billions of tons of methane and other greenhouse gases emitted each year by farm animals across the globe.

Ummmmm Huhhhhhh. Please Google Climate Change Scandal. Thanks!  Say, I have an idea. Why don’t you just feed this shit to Al Gore? I think that’s a great idea. He knows about serving up shit on a plate and calling it ice cream.  He’s been doing it to America since…….well……since  about $300 million dollars ago. In spite of the effort to suppress the Non Data, cows may soon be able to fart again just like Al Gore does, without fear of reprisal! This won’t be as lucrative to Al and his friends but I’ll bet it sure will be a relief. At least for the cows.

And even the scientists had to admit to reporters that they don’t know if their creation is flavorsome, because laboratory regulations forbid them from tasting anything they create.

Now why do you think that is? Go ahead, take a shot in the dark.

Now, the pork industry seems rather unconcerned about all this. I don’t blame them. Besides, I will bet what little is left of my 401(k) that for sure Imelda and Ferdinand Obama will not be serving Wagyu In Vitro Wasted Muscle Tissue at their parties. That stuff is for you peasants.

But one thing everyone agrees on is that the name In Vitro Wasted Muscle Tissue will have to go if they are ever going to sell this crap in Joe’s Steakhouse. Marketing, man, everything is marketing today. Come up with the right name for this crap and it will fly. Well, it won’t exactly be a flying pig but it will fly. Kind of like when Marketing and Public Relations started telling everyone to change the name of Global Warming to Climate Change because……..well………things were getting colder.

So let’s have a contest.

What shall we call this stuff  instead of In Vitro Wasted Muscle Tissue?

LMAO h/t to Bert.

67 Responses

  1. How about Soylent Green?

  2. OMG Bert! That’s hysterical! I MUST ADD THIS

  3. I post Creme Brulee and you put this up. It’s a crazy upside down world we live in.

  4. This probably is the real future. Thank God I’ll be dead when it actually comes to pass. Talk about “Hold the pickles, hold the lettuce…”

    -MS

  5. The penguins are returning…..and there’s more of them!

  6. Hmmm….they are doing it with milk too….saw a pic a few months ago with a carton of almost milk…..Yeah….I wonder what those Wizkid Climtegate scientists have to say about this…..

  7. Yum! Turkey testicles! Leave it to those northern Illinoisan’s to eat that shit….they’re too close to Wisconsin…brain damage.

    Regarding chili…I was watching The Biggest Loser the other day and they had a great recipe for chili made with turkey sausage and used it to stuff a baked potato. Low in fat and calories…looked good. I might try it with the soy meat since I don’t do the meat thing.

  8. Ugh-oh….I’m in spam hell. 😦

  9. No I’m not! Early release for good behavior? 🙂

  10. OT…BUT….WTF ???
    here’s the headline….
    “Hezbollah, Iran May Get ‘Arm’ Inside U.N. Security Council”
    Here’s the link….
    http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,578931,00.html

  11. I still do not do margarine because I realised that even flies won’t go near it. I do not need phony food. Maybe it is my imagination but since adding things to food,it seems more people have allergies and more types of cancer are being found.

    WOMEN WITH INTELLIGENCE AND EXPERIENCE,MEN WHO SUPPORT THEM AND COUNTRY BEFORE PARTY ALWAYS

    PUMAS,BUBBAS,EQUALISTS AND THOSE PEOPLE RULE

  12. For those keeping up with climategate….Good archives at this site…..
    http://www.floppingaces.net/2009/12/02/flopping-aces-own-climategate-read-me-file/?utm_source=feedburner&

  13. How about calling the meat “Dutch Lab Slab”

  14. Gosh I have trouble wrapping my brain around this because in the leukemia world blast cells are the enemy.

    Everybody has blast cells they are immature progenitor cells that then develop into various other cells……….but as soon as I saw this all I could think about was acute myeloid leukemia the most common adult acute leukemia. Ha notice the myoblasts the scientists used are missing the e from myeloid? If those blast cells had an e in their name they would be cancer cells. Sorry probably TMI, but just to let you know myoblasts are progenitor cells that go on to build muscles and are being studied and used now in human heart repair.

    Soooooooo maybe eating all those myoblasts would make our hearts stronger and the rest of our muscles. But I’m afraid I would always worry that my meat came from myoblasts with that little e added! (I’m not stupid there are proteins and other markers that define cancer from normal cells, just thought the e was a simple way to express it)

    So I don’t have a name but there is probably one in there somewhere, LOL!

  15. Nunly – You can make your regular chili recipe but instead of 1 pound of ground beef, use just three-fourths pound and thenone-fourth ground turkey and you will not notice the difference at all. And youu still cut the fat content without sacrificing tatse. You can also go one-half and one-half and not notice the difference.

    The thing I did not like about using 100% ground turkey is it was too dry. So this is a compromise if you wnat to cut some fat.

  16. OT
    Watch out penquins , you never know where the cat will be.

    http://www.maniacworld.com/cat-magic-show.html

    WOMEN WITH INTELLIGENCE AND EXPERIENCE,MEN WHO SUPPORT THEM AND COUNTRY BEFORE PARTY ALWAYS

    PUMAS,BUBBAS,EQUALISTS AND THOSE PEOPLE RULE

  17. Somebody
    You said last night that your husband is an air traffic controller. Well give that man a hug every night. He has one of the most stressful jobs in the country.
    I was a train dispatcher for a while and it is not nearly as stressful but it can be scary.

    WOMEN WITH INTELLIGENCE AND EXPERIENCE,MEN WHO SUPPORT THEM AND COUNTRY BEFORE PARTY ALWAYS

    PUMAS,BUBBAS,EQUALISTS AND THOSE PEOPLE RULE

  18. http://www.maniacworld.com/turkeys-rest-and-relaxation.html

    No this is not congress talking over how to screw the American people

    WOMEN WITH INTELLIGENCE AND EXPERIENCE,MEN WHO SUPPORT THEM AND COUNTRY BEFORE PARTY ALWAYS

    PUMAS,BUBBAS,EQUALISTS AND THOSE PEOPLE RULE

  19. Helen thanks yes he is an air traffic controller and he works in a large enroute facility. His job is very stressful but not as much now as it once was. For 25 years he worked fast moving air carriers and jets through a 50 mile wide funnel often around thunder storms and each plane had to change altitude up or down a 1,000 feet to be right for direction due to a really stupid invisible line. THAT was stressful on a good day. It would become even more fun if the military was flying around and the funnel was narrowed due to that. It was also boat loads of fun NOT on 9-11-01. Air force one was in Florida if you watch that National Geographic special they did about AF 1, the ATC talking to AF1 and simultaneously trying to land a boatload of planes is my husband. They play parts of the actual tapes, there was a lot more that happened that day but those parts were not released…………….. let’s just say he earned his money that day for sure.

    He tried for five years to transfer to a different part of the facility that wasn’t as busy because they work low altitude and only have two HA busy sectors with jets and air carriers. They wouldn’t move him because he was too good at keeping planes separated instead he was passed over by people junior to him that couldn’t handle the job as well. Anyway the only good thing that came out my daughter’s cancer is that they transferred him immediately to the slower area which he LOVES. Although now that little somebody is OT, he swears they ALWAYS plug him in at one of those two high altitude busy sectors, LOL! But at least there is no funnel or imaginary line and mandatory altitude changes.

    I will be happy to pass along your comment to him how very sweet. People don’t really ever think about ATC’s unless they screw up! Not to worry I spoil him quite nicely he gets plenty of hugs.

  20. helen, did you know the canola bean is so unpalatable that even bugs won’t eat them. Whatever they do to the process to make oil out of them, somebody needed a use for these otherwise useless things. My father would never touch canola oil because he recalls they often mixed some of it in with equipment oil back in the old days, so the “oil” was around before we heard of it, but people didn’t ingest it. That is why when canola oil was first introduced I was horrified.

  21. workingclass artist, on December 3rd, 2009 at 10:14 AM Said:
    “Hmmm….they are doing it with milk too….
    saw a pic a few months ago with a carton
    of almost milk…..Yeah….I wonder what
    those Wizkid Climtegate scientists have
    to say about this…..”
    ===============================
    Ay-yi-yii WCA!

    All you need to do is do a web search for
    FOX NEWS vs JANE AKRE and you get
    plenty of goods on our “genetically
    modified milk” with BGH and other nasty
    stuff.

    FOX first told Akre and her photog husband
    to do a series on “killer milk.” When Monsanto
    got wind of this (they make Bovine Growth
    Hormone, which has been linked to cancers)
    Monsanto threatened to sue FOX.

    What happened is a lesson in greed and
    disregard for public health. Akre and husband
    were ordered to kill the story, although FOX
    media mogul Rupert Murdock could have been
    a HUGE hero in this, he caved to the power
    of money, wound up firing the reporters
    for refusing to drop the story. He took
    Akre to court and after the case was laughed
    out of court three times, finally bought a judge
    who would rule against Akre and ordered
    her to pay FOX’s enormous legal costs in
    the case.

    Crackers. And the death of responsible TV
    journalism, since the case set a precedent
    and was cited in many others. Call it
    The Big Chill. It’s why the MSM is so shitty
    now. Uncle Walter Cronkite went to bat
    for Akre, but CBS could have fired HIM,
    if he hadn’t already retired.

    You know what they say about nice guys.
    That applies in spades to journalists
    with morals and public health in mind.
    The “right to know” has literally vanished.

    H

  22. Yup DE, this ain’t creme brulee that’s for sure. I am frankly sick and tired of being laboratoried and chemicaled and “genetically altered” to death. I am sick of antibiotics and hormones being put in my food too. if I had it to do over again, I would buy a farm and grow all of my own food. Our seed packets that are given to the public are genetically engineered and I frankly am sick of Monanto. I remember when you could grow tomatoes, wipe some of the seeds on a paper towel and put them in a dark place….and grow the same tomatoes again for free the next year. Now they eradiate the damned thing so you buy seeds every year. Fortunately there are places left on this earth where you can get real seeds but I’m sure somebody out there is working on eliminating that. I’m sorry but there are plenty of things wrong with this picture. For a group of people who want to “solve world hunger,” making it so you have to buy seeds every year certainly is not in keeping with their goal because that’s not really the goal of these companies at all.

  23. Uppity- I had no idea about the canola oil thing…gross!

    I never did the margarine thing, either, after my daughter -who was a nurse at the time -told me about how bad it was.

  24. Wow I didn’t know that about canola oil either. I will eliminate that immediately from my household!

  25. Hi Uppity – ugh what ugly food – It’s probably too late now cuz I’m old but for the last 5 or 6 years I have been inspecting food labels & rejecting certain items –
    of course, considering how the country is going to hell in a handbasket not sure I wanna get older!!!!!!!!

    Has anybody here tried to get into PUMA? I get a blank screen………… tried the timeout page (old blog where we go when the system is down & that didn’t work either) – just wondering…………………gettin’ just a little paranoid – just cuz I can’t see anything doesn’t mean it’s not there………..LOL

  26. I have been wondering why babies today are kept on formula until they are almost a year old? My kids were on milk at 3 months and I started them on table food when they had enough teeth to bite into a cookie. Each night they had something different for dinner growing up. Pizza was a thing on Friday nite while watching tv. They grew up healthy and were not too picky after I got angry about complaints ” DO I Have TO EAT THAT” and gave them spagettios for two weeks in a row.
    The excuse about two parents working is not right. Many parents worked for many years it is not a new thing. Think about when the immigrants came over in the 1800s it took whole families working to make it.

    WOMEN WITH INTELLIGENCE AND EXPERIENCE,MEN WHO SUPPORT THEM AND COUNTRY BEFORE PARTY ALWAYS

    PUMAS,BUBBAS,EQUALISTS AND THOSE PEOPLE RULE

  27. hiya all…lurking as always. And having lotsa fun reading the posts & comments LOL

    BTW, have most the avatars change for most people here, Ms UW?

    Muahhhhhhh to ya all. Am all recovered…no fever for more than a week…but still weak. Hope you all are doing great too:D

    Dang the pengys are back. Watch your back MKB!!!!

  28. Yeeeeeehaaaaaaaaa, I like my new avatar there=====>>>

    I love deep fried chicken butts…really I do .LOL

  29. “In vitro wasted muscle tissue. The other white almost-meat.” Hilarious! omg, what a sick world! Here come the funny penguins. I have to go drive my kid to his country club gig. He did have a wonderful time working there yesterday.

  30. One of the oddities that always gets me is “fat free half & half”. A item that should include two things ( whole milk & cream), now has a whole list of ingredients neither of which are whole milk or cream. High-fructose corn syrup? stabilizers? Why are they allowed to call this half and half when its clearly nothing of the sort. Sometimes I cannot even find real half & half or cream but there are always several versions of the fake type available.

    And then there is Cool Whip. The non-dairy desert topping that they try and say tastes just like real cream!

  31. Hi joey!

  32. I think the actual name for canola bean is Rapeseed. I don’t imagine it’s bad for you it’s just that I wonder how they process it to make it palatable. that’s the scary part.

  33. Re:Avatars. There are only two categories of avatars in the admin panel. One is monsters and the other consists of the ones you see now. They are RANDOMLY assigned, so if you don’t like yours, well basically, that’s Toughsky Shitsky as they say in Russia.

    If you want a CUSTOM avatar like some of us have, you must open a WP account/blog. You don’t have to blog but you need to start one to get an avatar. Then your avatar will show up at all WP blogs. Most of the time. I changed mine many months ago and although the new one shows up on my settings, it doesn’t show up on blogs.

  34. Hi Joey!🙂

  35. “cows may soon be able to fart again just like Al Gore does, without fear of reprisal!”

    RRRRRRRRRROFLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLMAO

  36. joey, the turkey butts are meatier–ummmmm, ummmmm.

  37. Hi ey,

    Surr glad you’re recovering.

  38. chicken and turkey butts. See? I TOLD you people will eat anything if it’s deep fried!

  39. Hi Joey. Sure glad you’re recovering.

  40. That turkey cajones vid gives a whole new meaning to the words, “You are what you eat,”

  41. wca,

    That link about Hezbollah becoming a player at the UN confirms what we’ve been seeIng since Iran’s Islamic Revolution. The Shia Muslims are challenging the Sunni Muslims for domination of Islam. And now they’re plunging the whole world tino their game, No wonder the Saudis (Sunni) are more than willing to Israel to take out Iran (Shia).

  42. related news;

    obama may finally have done one thing right. He’s given the go-ahead for medical stem-cell research. I say may because a year or two ago, Japanese scientists figured out how to make stem cells from cells taken off the back of someone’s hand. Faster, cheaper, and except for the crowd that says, “It’s God will you that you live with a catastrophic illness,” raises no ethical issues.

    Rest assured: the pharaceutical industry is geared up to reap billions from fetal stem cell rsearch and therapy, so the Japanese procedure will wither on the vine.

  43. welcome back Joey we missed ya/.
    and yes Upp people will eat the darndest things just fry it up in some lard lol.

  44. Speaking of “God’s Will” Mary, I always find it more than a tiny bit amusing when a hyper-religious crackpot continually says they can’t wait to “Be With God”. Then just as soon as one of them looks like he or she might get that wish, they fight like hell to stay here.

  45. Right, UW. They suddenly fnd the chairs in God’s waiting room a tad uncomfortable.

  46. Why not just call the fake pork what it is: poison on a shingle?

  47. I think they ought to hold the guy who invented this down and make him eat it.

  48. That is seriously nasty meat. I like the way you said it sounds like Monsanto food. btw, I don’t do canola oil either. Rapeseed usually has high levels of pesticides. There are so many other good oils: olive oil, grapeseed oil, walnut oil, etc., and I take a Tbsp of flax seed oil twice a day.

  49. Groan.

    This is classic Uppity Woman!
    How can I laugh when it’s this gross, Upp. But I am.
    ps: on Ayers, yeah.

    xxoo!
    love your new frosty snowfest cat’s eyes of a banner, too.
    Merry Christmas and Happy holidays all round
    to Uppity & Co.

    how do you write that way, Upp. How?

    OMG. It’s a talent…

  50. ps: the expression on that cat’s face says it all!

    GROAN SOYLENTLY.

  51. Dear Valentine,
    ***Blush***

  52. Mt.Laurel, on December 3rd, 2009 at 12:46 PM Said:

    One of the oddities that always gets me is “fat free half & half”.

    Ya know, Laurel – I had this SAME thought the other day when my neighbor gave me the leftovers from a pint of FAT FREE H&H before she left town. I used it ONCE and didn’t put 2&2 together when I though my coffee tasted like crap the next day. I finally through it out andin doing so read the label again, and wondered.

    As for CanolaOil – crap. Remember COCONUT OIL? It wasrouted off the shelves by “Big Oil” (LOL) and wehave all been getting cancer since. I have been taking a tbsp or so of Coconut oil for years. Reduces bad cholesterol, increases metabolism and regulates the thyroid. It makes you lose weight when used as a supplement. One word of warning though -when you start on it – it will clean your clock.And I mean those fried Turkey balls and chicken butts you ate FIVE YEARS AGO will finally move through your system within hours! BE PREPARED!

  53. That’s odd about coconut oil. I thought coconut was considered one of the highest cholesterol foods of all.

  54. Uppity – FF would not steer you wrong.

    http://www.livestrong.com/article/28712-coconut-oil-lower-cholesterol/

  55. Between “In Vitro Muscle Wasting Tissue” and deep fried turkey testicles, I’m feeling more than a little green around the gills.

  56. C;mon, Mary. Where’s your sense of adventure?

  57. Hey, Uppity I just came across this….Very interesting…. please take a look…. Re: AL full of shit Gore and all of his bull crap! 😡 👿 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VR4oIZ0k2d0 Thanks….. 😉

  58. 😳 sorry if it has been posted before…. 🙂

  59. Hey…. 😎 I have a new Avatar? whatever that little thing on the right is called….. 😆 😆 😆 😆

  60. No Casper I never saw that video before. I love it! “NO DEBATE”.

  61. Yep! Uppity….. ‘No Debate’…. Now, who does that sound like? I’ll give you a hint… BO…. 😯 🙄 I have got to share what happend today…. I am a Real Estate Investor and I have purchased many properties (for over 20 years) but, in the summer of 08 through 6-09 I have purchased (cash only) 12 properties on top of the ones I already have… Anyway, today I unfortunately had to Evict a tenate for non payment of rent…. So, while we were in Court (I had about 30 cases in front of me) I was listening to everyone’s story and situation….alot of them were really sad….. However, a Hispanic man was being foreclosed on by a Bank…. When the Judge asked the man if he had anything to add to his defense…. The man responded…. ” I was told by Obama that the banks would help me and not foreclose on my property” the Judge responded…” Well, You will have to take that up with Obama… And, the fact that he is not here today to help you”…. Exact Quote…. Very, Very sad…… That lying piece of shit Bo is destorying this Country one American at a time…. 😡 👿

  62. Casper I am just soooooooooo sorry! That WP keeps putting you in moderation. I’m posting that video right now, we need to discuss this.

  63. Uppity! WOW! I am sooooooo happy you found it worth discussing….. 😉 🙂 Not to worry about the Moderation…. I just love your blog and all that you do……. 🙂 I thought it was very interesting that Fox News is the only one who will air this….. But, it doesn’t suprise me…. 😡

  64. I think it’s all the smileys Casper. Can’t be sure.

  65. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VR4oIZ0k2d0 Sorry, hope this helps

  66. ithswell@9:32

    Sense of advent/ure washed down with Alka Seltzer.

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