I’m fairly convinced that people will eat just about anything if it’s deep fried in lard and served with cocktail sauce on the side. This can be confirmed by simply watching this:
Yum. Sorry I missed that and I know you are too.
Sometimes I have been known to prepare things like chili with a mixture of ground beef and that fake soy ground beef that comes in a frozen bag. It’s not bad at all, but then it’s all buried in chili. I mean, let’s face it, if you get the spices right, you can put a piece of your shoe in chili. So, it’s not as if I am unwilling to try new things. But I do have my limits and I am fairly certain those limitations would be reached with this product:
It seems that scientists have now grown pork in a test tube. Well not exactly pork, but…
The research team, funded by a major sausage maker and the Dutch government, used cells from a live pig to grow pork muscle tissue in a Petri dish. After extracting cells called myoblasts from the muscle of a live pig, the scientists then incubated the myoblasts in a nutrient solution, which allowed the cells to multiply and create muscle.
Yum! Myoblasts. Sounds delicious! And not harmful at all!
The implications of this breakthrough in “in vitro meat,” as it’s sometimes called, are potentially enormous.
Physiology professor Mark Post of Eindhoven University, who led the research team, believes it could make it possible to end world hunger. “You could take the meat from one animal and create the volume of meat previously provided by a million animals,” he told the media in the United Kingdom.
In vitro wasted muscle tissue. The other white almost-meat. I see. We love us our engineered food, yes we do! Why do I smell a whiff of Monsanto here. Oh, nevermind.
Making meat in a laboratory instead of a feed lot could also reduce climate change by eliminating billions of tons of methane and other greenhouse gases emitted each year by farm animals across the globe.
Ummmmm Huhhhhhh. Please Google Climate Change Scandal. Thanks! Say, I have an idea. Why don’t you just feed this shit to Al Gore? I think that’s a great idea. He knows about serving up shit on a plate and calling it ice cream. He’s been doing it to America since…….well……since about $300 million dollars ago. In spite of the effort to suppress the Non Data, cows may soon be able to fart again just like Al Gore does, without fear of reprisal! This won’t be as lucrative to Al and his friends but I’ll bet it sure will be a relief. At least for the cows.
And even the scientists had to admit to reporters that they don’t know if their creation is flavorsome, because laboratory regulations forbid them from tasting anything they create.
Now why do you think that is? Go ahead, take a shot in the dark.
Now, the pork industry seems rather unconcerned about all this. I don’t blame them. Besides, I will bet what little is left of my 401(k) that for sure Imelda and Ferdinand Obama will not be serving Wagyu In Vitro Wasted Muscle Tissue at their parties. That stuff is for you peasants.
But one thing everyone agrees on is that the name In Vitro Wasted Muscle Tissue will have to go if they are ever going to sell this crap in Joe’s Steakhouse. Marketing, man, everything is marketing today. Come up with the right name for this crap and it will fly. Well, it won’t exactly be a flying pig but it will fly. Kind of like when Marketing and Public Relations started telling everyone to change the name of Global Warming to Climate Change because……..well………things were getting colder.
So let’s have a contest.
What shall we call this stuff instead of In Vitro Wasted Muscle Tissue?
LMAO h/t to Bert.