First Quarter Winners I thought might interest you:
Goldman Sachs, currently participating in a BS dog and pony show with their Congressional BFFs and Servants and the White House appointees at the SEC, enjoyed $12.78 billion in revenues for the first quarter of this year, up by 35.5% over last year.
Google, proving once again that the more a company destroys your privacy and steals intellectual properties, the more money they can earn, reported revenues of $6.77 billion in the first quarter, up 23% over last year’s first quarter.
Poor Poor Bailout-Needy Bank Of America, the Bastion of Loan Sharking, found that their profits rose 0.7% over last year to $2.83 billion, most likely off the backs of their best-paying customers who woke up one day to find their new interest rate had been arbitrarily increased up to 29%. Boy, that “Credit Card Reform” sure hurt them badly and helped their customers, didn’t it?
Poor Poor Bailout-Needy JP Morgan Chase, a Member of Loan Sharks Anonymous, beat all estimates with revenues up 11%, totalling $28.2 billion. Other sites say their revenues were only $27.7 billion, poor babies.
Poor, Poor Bailout-Needy Citigroup suffered the highest income since Q2 2007. They raked in $25.4 billion.
Poor Poor Bailout-Needy Capital One Financial, knocked all estimates out of the box with a revenue jump to $4.3 billion from $2.9 billion last year. Net income: $636.3 million, all off the backs of their most reliable credit card payers who woke up one morning to find that their single-digit interest rate had arbitrarily been raised to loan shark levels just in the knick of time before “Credit Card Reform” kicked in–knowing fully well their customers with great FICO scores wouldn’t cancel the cards because it would affect those scores. I think it was so nice of Congress to give companies such as this bastion of integrity a 90 day warning, don’t you?
Ford records $2.1 billion profit and surpasses estimates. Which goes to show you that companies not run by the government really are better off.
Helped by higher oil prices that hurt you, UK’s BP oil records $5.59 billion in profits for first quarter, up from $2.38 billion in first quarter of 2009. This is the same careless company that filled up the Gulf with their oil recently, and even as we speak, that spill is reaching Lousiana’s shores,killing animals and sea life in a most horrific manner, touching off what is clearly about to become the worst environmental disaster in history. It appears that this spill will make the Valdez look like a baby diaper leak. Just to give you a feel of how far-reaching this spill is and how dangerous it is to Life, the spill occurred when a pipe associated with a well ONE MILE BELOW the water exploded. Now perhaps we all understand why so many people oppose offshore drilling and have no trust in oil companies and their greedy, cavalier attitude toward every species, including human beings.
Finally, I can’t for the life of me find GM’s AKA Government Motors’ Q1 earnings report, but then it’s always hard to find things that are controlled by the government. I mean, when I Scroogled all the other company names, link upon link appeared showing their Q1 earnings reports. Not so with GM. However, I did find quite of few dog and pony reports on how “Optimistic” they are for Q1. Here, their CEO, “hints” at “Solid” results. I guess that means they are hoping they lost less money this quarter. That’s an improvement, right? All righty, then.
Here is the list of biggest First Quarter Losers: