Latest coddle idea: Start the school day later so kids are in a better mood.

By now you all know already that the USA school year is the shortest in the civilized world, and the school-day length ranks about the same. You probably also already know that  American schools are not in the world’s top ten, or even the world’s top twenty. We could argue all day as to “why,” but that’s not the purpose of this post.

The Newest Great Idea:  Start school a half-hour later so kids can be in a better mood. Of course, in the Real World, which school is supposed to prepare them for, I can say with reasonable certainty that, when you work, you report to work when your boss tells you to report.

Adolescents undergo substantial shifts in their circadian rhythms, which make it easier for them to stay up late and harder for them to wake up early. “On a practical level, this means that the average adolescent has difficulty falling asleep before 11 p.m., and the ideal wake up time is around 8 a.m.,” Owens and her team note in the Archives of Pediatrics and Adolescent Medicine.

There’s good scientific evidence “that the average adolescent is chronically sleep-deprived and pathologically sleepy,” they point out.

Try that excuse at work and see how well it works out for you.

I do have a question: Will this mean that students will be staying in school a half-hour longer, or are we going to shorten the school day even more?

Let’s face it, the positive impact of this idea is short-lived. After a few months, kids will still think school starts too early. The people who are always late now will be late then as well. That’s why I think I have a better idea:

Thank U 4 showing up!

We could start the school day at Noon.

Everybody gets a trophy for showing up on-time at least twice a week. Those who don’t show up at  all get a trophy too, so they won’t feel left out. But both trophies will have to be the same size so as not to offend anyone’s self-esteem.

Suspended students get trophies too, so that they know we still love them even if they did try to kill someone in the hall. 

Failing students will get two trophies  as an incentive to do better.  I’m not sure how getting rewarded for failure works, but “experts” say it does, so it must be true.

We could start with a free nutritious lunch from 12 to 1, and then go straight to study hall. Then  there would be a nice human sexuality course complete with pictures and a video, followed by a physcial exam at the school  free clinic. Then we can have a short class on how to recycle–in three languages. If there’s time, we can teach them to count their change, or, if they don’t want to learn that, we could give them a buffet of elective learning choices on various subjects  for the last half hour, such as Islamic Studies, Global Warming, Origami class, or a class on How To Write In Complete, Literate Sentences.

Guess which of those four elective classrooms would be empty?  Anybody?

If you get it right, you get a trophy. If you get it wrong, you get a trophy.


98 Responses

  1. Good friggin grief, what BS! Teens are not some alien species (though they may appear so at times) and have no special circadian rhythms. Just like everybody else…need to wake up early?….go to bed early….stay up late…guess what?…it’s hard to wake up early. Learning that lesson makes it more likely to be successful in college or on a job.

  2. Why not just get rid of schools altogether. Think of all the money well save.

  3. I’m cracking up here.

  4. The HS I attended didn’t have room for all the students so they had to put half of us on a second shift to limit the amount of people using the halls, stairs etc at one time. We started two hours after group one. They left for the day around 3pm and we left at 5pm and by the time I got home in the winter it was getting dark already and my whole daylight time was gone. It was not good to get up later and get home in the dark. I got sick often that year and was glad to go to the first shift the next year.

  5. Can we text the answer in? If the teens put all the electronic gadgets away and shut off their phones – they MIGHT get a decent nights sleep!
    My sis and I had rooms on the third floor – Mom called us ONCE! If we were not down in ten minutes- she rang the buzzer! Yup- Dad – who worked on arcade games – installed a buzzer so she wouldn’t have to make multiple trips. And it was LOUD! First buzz, a second or two- second buzz? She LEANED ON IT until we got our asses down there!

    Sentences? What are complete, literate sentences? God, Auntie, you are SOOOOOOOO 20th century!

    OT- TC has an interesting piece up. Guess if you are Hispanic you get asked for ID to get on the ballot! Wonder if Obama will sue Missouri next?

  6. I went 12 years to Catholic schools where we were often crammed into classrooms of up to 50 kids and one nun. And you had better have your homework ready with no excuses involved. Step out of line and the wrath of Sister was brought out full force and a call home followed. And guess what: everybody learned for the most part!

    Times have changed but today’s kids are less better educated IMHO as they have no idea of how this country actually works in the form of government. Too busy “social networking” via cellphones and Facebook to take schooling seriously.

    Unplug the computer and confiscate those gadgets and we might be on a better path to actually learning something for a change. Try holdinga book for once and I don’t mean a Kindle.

    I am such an “old fogey”!

  7. OT the swiss have refused to extradite that pervert Roman Polanski. He has been freed. Wouldn’t it be grand if he just dropped dead from the stress before he gets a crack at another child?

  8. Well it won’t work in our district. Why? Because school starting times must be staggered. Bus drivers do two schools each… one early, one late. If you are attending the school with the early bus then… too effin bad.

  9. I how happy I am today learning that these are the ones I will be counting on to give me my Obama care in my old age. I mean I am just ecstatic knowing they will all be up on the latest technology and to think I can even forgo having to lie in a hospital bed and be awakened at some ungodly hour to have my meds. I get to sleep till noon then get my life saving meds. I am just going to be bouncing off the walls today Uppity thank you so much for bringing me this great news. lmao.

    We are so so screwed.

  10. Hilarious post…ROFL!!!

  11. I’m sorry, but you left out a 10 minute massage.

  12. Polanski is just another example of how the rich and famous can get away with anything.

    From those who groveled to appear in one of his movies, to those who defended his actions and calling him a “genius”, the moral compass that most of us are expected to live by just does not apply to those willing to sell their souls for fame and glory.

    Bad behavior can often lead to “stardom” and a chorus of believers who are exempt from the rules.

  13. School should start at 11:50am then lunch from 12:01pm until 1:01pm. the end at 2:01pm. I see nothing wrong with that. What does it matter that we cheat our kids of a good education and they do not learn to use their brains ( the computer that they were born with) they will feel good. That is until they try to get a job and support themselves and have a better life.

    I left a link downstairs to the latest outrage by the so called men of islam.



  14. mcnorman, the massage is for the students who don’t show up. We give them a coupon at a spa. Because rewarding failure and mediocrity always leads to success, silly.

  15. Utah, if you’re going to be sick and need meds, kindly be considerate and get on a more manageable schedule. You don’t want to be unplugged, do you?

  16. Actually uppity, I really believe we should change our school days. Where I live the little kids go to school at 9 AM. Those little buggers are up at the crack of dawn and spend hours every morning terrorizing their parents. High school kids on the other hand, have to be to school at 7 AM. There are circadian rhythms but there are also out of town sports that go until midnight, or staying up all night to cram for tests.

  17. Yes, the massage should be for the ditchers.

    I heard on the radio that Polanski was released because the US failed to send certain paperwork that they had requested from the DA ‘s office. Something about some paperwork that was excluded? Something about an interview with the original prosecuting attorney that was not released to the Swiss.

    Filmmaker Roman Polanski will not be extradited to the US, the Swiss Justice Ministry has decided.

    “The reason for the decision lies in the fact that it was not possible to exclude with the necessary certainty a fault in the US extraditionary request,” the Swiss Justice Ministry said in a statement on Monday.

    Either the Swiss got cold feet or someone in the US purposely flubbed the paperwork.


    There is no end to how far BP will screw people to save a buck.

    When is the American government ( who is supposed to represent the America people) going to stand up and make them accountable and help the people of the gulf?



  19. Heck!

    Why not just cut the entire day!

    That will make kids be in a GREAT MOOD, and think of all the money those politicans could save! (More money to go into their pockets even!)

  20. Bwhahahahaha DE. That’s adorable.

  21. They retrieved the hand from the alligator’s stomach and are going to reattach it?? EWWWW!

  22. Do alligators serve any real purpose on this earth other than to remind us of prehistoric times and scare the crap out of us?

  23. They retrieved the hand from the alligator’s stomach and are going to reattach it?? EWWWW!

    I hope the creepy thing enjoyed his last meal.

  24. I hope the creepy thing enjoyed his last meal.

    I hear it was “finger lickin’ good”!

  25. Yeah Buttered, they aren’t learning anything anyways, except stuff that has nothing to do with preparing for work. The smart ones will learn anyways. All ten of them.

  26. Gibbsy press briefing.

    At first 8k barrels but will increase to 20 – 30 thousand barrels from dual pipe working then to 60 – 80 per day containment.

    Helix producer is online. New cap is progressing. Will take the next several days to get it on tight and contain it.

    Fingers crossed.

  27. If they succeed we will never hear a thing again about the mess and destructio they have wrecked upon America. They will pretend all is well. Don’t eat fish.

    America has deliberately been kept in the dark and I blame the president of the united states who HAD to bless the intervention against the press. This will come back to him ten fold.

  28. karen said “. New cap is progressing. Will take the next several days to get it on tight and contain it. ”

    Now correct me if I am wrong- but isn’t that what they said last week? Like Thursday or Friday?

    As far as it coming back to him UW- from your lips to God’s ears!

    OT- Murphy has one hell of a rant up today!

  29. That alligator thing is horrifying! Were those people not native to FL? Hubby grew up in Jacksonville- and he told me on one of our visits that there is no swimming in canals- especially dawn and dusk.
    Now I have the heebie jeebies.

  30. Megan Kelly is covering a story that the White House may have been directly involved in dismissing the Black Panther case. She has a timeline showing the relation of events in the case and meetings between Cassandra Butts and the DOJ. Cassandra Butts is a black woman who claims no one was closer to BO than she was at Harvard, and she was the head White House attorney during her meetings with the DOJ about the NBP case (apparently not there currently).

  31. I hear it was “finger lickin’ good”!

    Ahahhahahhaha…yuck! I love your sense of humor imust.

  32. Remember that story about the loud door knocking that turned out to be a freaking gator?

  33. lorac, I don’t need convincing that obama was involved with that case. It’s so him.

  34. Everybody, you have GOT to read Murphy’s work today on Obama and how he stole the Democratic Primary candidacy. And even with all his finagling, they still had to steal delegates away from Hillary to drag his sorry ass over the line.

    We knew it then. We know it now. Only this time, let’s make sure it gets the attention it should have gotten before it was too late.

  35. Loved Murphy’s piece today – all full of linky goodness! I reposted it on my blog and on facebook as well.
    God- please let this story grow legs! I even went to far as to comment on Greta’s blog- hillbuzz has that link.

  36. UW, thanks for sharing Murphy’s piece. It’s terrific. I’ve sent it on to other confreres.

  37. You know, I had screen shots of some of their “Training” session literature, put together by a pissant obot. It was rally stuff before the caucuses and it was sickening stuff. These creeps WERE trainied and “Obama must win at all costs” was the mantra. I have no idea what I did with those shots.

  38. I remember you had to be pretty fast on the screen shots because the obots were busy bees scrubbing the net.

  39. OT – but related to previous thread on the pending execution of Sakineh Mohammadi Ashtiani.

    Now, they are accusing her of also murdering her husband

    And, here is a quote from the assh***s, as to why they won’t detail “her crime of murder”:

    “Sharifi declined to outline Ashtiani’s role in her husband’s death, saying it would be just too darn shocking for the public.

    “We can’t express the details of her crimes due to moral and humane considerations,” he said. “If the way her husband has been murdered is expressed, the brutality and insanity of this woman would be laid bare to public opinion. Her contribution to the murder of her husband was so harsh and heart-breaking that many criminologists believe that it would have been better for her to have decapitated her husband.”

  40. wontbackdown- well I am glad to hear the pig is dead. IF she killed him (and imo that is doubtful- might jsut be them trying to justify killing her) but- IF she killed him- I hope she cut his willie off and shoved it up his ass- and let him bleed to death.

  41. So they’re saying that they “forgave” her for murder, but the adultry was just too much and they had to sentence her to death by stoning?? And they really expect people to believe that?

  42. Correction on my above post:

    They had already convicted her of his murder – and, because “her children forgave her for it” she only received a 10 year sentence for that part of her crimes.

    That tells you a lot – he had it coming.

    But, that female infidelity stuff, now THAT’S a death sentence? I wonder if she “ran around on him” after he was deceased?

  43. Woops – I was posting at the same time as imust.

    PMM – They’re sure making it sound as if it’s something like that…

    …but, knowing the regime, she probably just pushed him down and he hit his head.

  44. I would be surprised if she murdered him or even laid a hand on him. It could be that her son may have had something to do with his death and she either covered for him, or the Powers That Be just went ahead and blamed her because it would be too shameful to admit a man’s son would do it.

  45. P.S. I really reacted to this part of the quote:

    “saying it would be just too darn shocking for the public….

    “due to moral and humane considerations,” he said. “If the way her husband has been murdered is expressed, the brutality and insanity of this woman would be laid bare to public opinion.”

    They’re even clueless about how ignorantly, one-sided they are on “shocking for the public” and “moral and humane considerations” when covering their asses.

  46. If you’d like to encourage Greta to cover Obama’s cheating of Hillary, you can post here

  47. Geez, I think in those countries the default is that women are dirty and deserve to be stoned or otherwise executed, and only if they jump through the stupid misogynistic hoops they can have a reprieve, subject to being overturned at any time for any frivolous reason…

  48. Yes, IMUST – I sort of imagined the same scenario – it’s a pretty safe bet that he was beating her – it’s a requirement of serving Allah, you know.

  49. lorac, their religion sexually deprives them. It makes them crazy and mean and savage. And women…….well they turn them on, so thus it’s the women’s fault if they get a boner. You have to be a pretty damn deprived person to consider it an honor to blow yourself up when your only reward is a bunch of virgins in the afterlife. That alone tells you how convoluted they are sexually. they have to die to fuck their brains out and not feel guilty about it.

  50. Let’s face it, they got caught acting like the savage swine they are, about to stone a woman, so now they have to shift gears to get rid of her. Suddenly, she killed her husband. I have a feeling we’ll be hearing from her children again. If they aren’t dead.

  51. UW, I agree with you. But (on different level) our society uses the same logic when it says that a woman who dresses provacatively is “asking for” rape. It’s all about the big strong men who can’t control their little penis, so women’s lives have to be dramatically altered. Can’t have the men taking responsibility for their own desires and actions! REAL men can’t control themselves, doncha know!

  52. Too bad the virgins beat the fucking shit out of them.

  53. There have been some female suicide bombers now. Have we ever heard what THEY get in the afterlife? Maybe they get the honor to continue to be slaves….

  54. I tell you what, all the women of the ME need to kill every man they can in their sleep at the same time.

  55. lorac for them death may be the better alternative, at least they have some control over it. Or do the female bombers work on remote.

  56. UW, I posted some PUMA sites on the Greta website. Is there a Hillary themed post from here I can post (unless you don’t want me to)? I can’t figure out how to look past the most recent posts.

  57. DE, yeah I guess we’d have to know if the suicide bombers were virgins – because maybe there’s no room in the afterlife for non-virgin women. After all, if women’s only purpose is to serve men, and the men think all the glory is in virgins, then what is the point of non-virgins being in the afterlife?

    LOL I just thought of something. If the male suicide-bombers get 72 virgins in the after-life, then they can only have sex 72 times!!! It’s the afterlife, why should they deign to have sex with the now-non-virgin rewards?

    Oh gosh, we may have to start a facebook page to save the discarded now-non-virgins in the afterlife!!! Where do they go, once they’ve been “used” once? Do they just fall through the sky into a human grave? Maybe they go to the 2nd tier suicide bombers, the ones who tried and failed….? lol

  58. lorac- there is a search box in the upper right- type in a key word and all of Uppity’s wonderful posts pop right up!

  59. Thanks PMM! I just grabbed a couple and posted them!

  60. Man – I haven’t been here in awhile. Came looking for the great “pie” stuff you used to post. I thought i would see some of that after Michelle said she tells her kids “Dessert is not a right” during her NAACP tour this week.

    I thought for sure someone besides me would see the irony of dessert not being a right, but someone taking my pie without earning it is… LOL…. what a bunch a marxist pieces of dung we got in ‘da house.

  61. Did someone mention PIE?

    So, MeeSHOE says that “dessert is not a right”. The same MeeSHOE who said that we were gonna have to give up some of our PIE? The same MeeSHOE who’s husband just loves the WH pastry chef????
    Home » US
    Obama Loves Pie, Says White House Advisor
    10 July, 2010
    Obama’s secret was unveiled by his senior adviser, David Axelrod. Axelrod told Jay Leno on Friday that the president was forced to “separate” from the White House pastry chef to break his bad eating habits.”One of the things that happened when he came to the White House is they have a very great pastry chef. It became a big problem,” Axelrod confided on The Tonight Show.

  62. So Mr. & Mrs. O scarf down all the waygu beef and cheeseburgers and PIE and then tell their daughters….dessert is not a right! Pie for me…but not for thee!

  63. imust – I wonder why they’re saying it was a problem. He seems to have been steadily losing weight since he took office.

    Maybe they couldn’t tear him away from the kitchen, where the liquor, pies, and ciggies were. No wonder there are never any papers on his desk. He’s either campaigning, or if he’s at the White House, he’s sitting in the kitchen – but curiously, not gaining weight from the pie and liquor….

    Oh yeah, I just remembered…. “coca cola” makes you lose weight, doesn’t it?

  64. Yeah, maybe they WANT him eating pie. If he’s losing too much weight from ……well, whatever is causing him to lose weight.

  65. You know lorac, another angle. Maybe the PIE wasn’t the problem…..maybe the problem was the pastry chef

  66. Someone just posted this hilarious video over at NQ

    Obama at bat

  67. You’re right – maybe the pastry and chef and Reggie Love had a knock-down over pretty boy Obama lol

  68. If he’s losing too much weight from ……well, whatever is causing him to lose weight.

    You mean the white stuff up his nose?

  69. Hey MissP! Good to see ya girl. How’s mom?

  70. Yes, Uppity. Snow. No wonder he’s having a pre-vacation in Maine. He likes snow. The White Stuff. lol

    Oh Gosh. Maybe only the caucasian half of him likes the white stuff. Phew. He’s blameless again.

  71. lorac feel free.

  72. lorac, the female suicide bombers get to pick a better way to die than what’s waiting for them if they don’t do it.

  73. Too bad the virgins beat the fucking shit out of them.

    I guess they didn’t tell them about the 72 cleavers.

  74. I guess they also didn’t tell them about the rows of 300 shark teeth embedded in those special virgin vaginas!

  75. Obama now backing out of NASA aka Muslim Self Esteem Project.

  76. imust, of course. Obama is blameless. I bet tomorrow they’ll tell the “truth” that BUSH told Bolden to say that lol

  77. If they want self esteem why don’t they try acting like they don’t live in the 6th century. Why don’t they try not forcing women to wear ten pounds of clothes and end up dead if their hand shows. Why don’t they try not throwing acid in women’s faces and burning down schools with girls in them. Why don’t they try not burying women up to their necks and stoning them like fucking cavemen would do. They could stop marrying children and writing up assinine laws about sex with livestock and babies.

    Why don’t they stop acting like animals and they will improve their own self esteem and the esteem of the world immediately. Else how the hell can the world respect people who do what they do.

    And how the HELL can you be proud of contributions to technology when you live in a faraway century. The only thing left for them to do to round out their impression to the world is start cooking over a fire made with two sticks rubbed together.

    I honestly hope the youth of Iran takes that country. From what I can see, they are smarter, faster, mor human and sick and tired of living under the rule of a bunch of throwbacks.

  78. Boy if Hillary were president, they would be apoplectic having to deal with a woman as the most powrful person in the world. It would be delicious.

  79. LOL lorac! You mean Bush emBOLDENed him to say that!?
    And Uppity, I agree. I would have loved to see the looks on their faces when POTUS Hillary Clinton met with those guys!

  80. I sure wish I had that pastry chef’s oven.

  81. Yes, we need shorter days in school.

    11 a.m. assembly so they can catch a wholesome free lunch before Science class.

    We need the midnight hours to do our homework so we can study various methods of penetration per the mandated curriculum for 10 year olds because we must learn at 5 years of age that we are gay because we prefer to hang out with same gender human beings.

    You know. Reading. Writing. Masturbation. Its all elementary. The kids can even smoke a joint in Study Hall, if they want. Its all good.

    Whatever you do, children, don’t get punished with a baby.

  82. {{Papoose}} Long time no see! And I see you are still stunningly on point! 🙂

  83. Hi Mom! I am always here! xo

  84. Hi Papoose! [waving]!

  85. Here’s what the lame-o DA had to say about the Polanski debacle:

    According to L.A. Superior Court spokesperson Allan Parachini, “The original Polanski case remains pending. The Los Angeles Superior Court arrest warrant from 1978 remains outstanding.

    Leave it to the LA judicial system to royally f*ck it up.

  86. I think that means that the case is not closed and that he could still stand trial. If he sets foot on US soil, he gets arrested.

  87. Papoooooooooose!

  88. Hello! Hurray! How are youse?

    I love you!

  89. Hey DE, just so you know, feta cheese will never be the same.
    I am always there, too. xo

  90. Yes, that’s what it means, but its kinda chicken sh*t that they wouldn’t respond as to why they blew the extradition. At least I haven’t seen anything on it yet.

  91. I heard something about the DOJ dropping the ball – & forgetting to send some paperwork – didn’t say the LA attorneys…………………………

    But his ass will be arrested if he tries to come here…

    dirty old pervert……………………………. & saw some stupid playboy bunny on Hannity tonite & she was as bad as Whoopie Goldberg trying to explain what rape is – this dumb ass was trying to say that the 13 year old was flirting & ya know – Hannity looked at her & said are you kidding me? She was 13 and was drugged & the woman says yeah but she said she was older – damm – we women are our own worst enemies –

  92. I saw that too susiepuma. Unbelievable. All the men on the panel were looking at her like, What the heck??

  93. Hmm. It looks like Swtz was also complicit in letting the pede run free:

    From LA Times:

    “After Polanski was detained last year, former Deputy Dist. Atty. Roger Gunson provided testimony about the meeting he and the director’s original defense attorney had with the judge in 1977. His testimony was given in the event that he was unable to attend a hearing should Polanski return to Los Angeles.

    wo judges ordered that the transcripts from Gunson’s deposition remain sealed, citing state law.

    Swiss authorities appeared to give contradictory views of how important the transcripts were to the extradition case.

    In April, a justice ministry spokesman told the Associated Press that his office was not interested in Gunson’s testimony. But on Monday, the same agency said it had asked the U.S. for the records and had been rebuffed.”

  94. Hey Uppity! Mom is good – very good. I thought she might have stopped in before me, but maybe not. I will tell her to stop in when she has a minute. Good to hear from you and see everyone on here again.

    Are you ready for November?

  95. MissP, you tell Mom to get in here! Ready for November? I’m staying home. I’m sick of picking between death by fire and death by drowning.

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