The Fifth Food Group: E Coli and Salmonella. Yum!

Well by now you ought to be accustomed to ingesting Salmonella and E Coli. Indeed, given the recalls we’ve experienced in the past few years, you should be actually craving these two nutrients by now.  

Sometimes, it’s hard to pick which one you want! I personally think E Coli is superior, don’t you?  I mean who needs kidneys anyways? 

E Coli is at a premium these days so if you are on the receiving end of this puppy, the rest of us envy you. It’s not every day that you have the privilege of ingesting and becoming infected by a bacterium that comes from another living being’s shit. right on your plate. 

E Coli. Yum! Try it on a healthy Whole Wheat bun!

If you live in California, Nevada or Hawaii, you won’t be disappointed!  Your daily allowance is probably in your freezer! All you need to do is eat some of this beef you purchased. Don’t worry!   Even though they have recalled a MILLION pounds of it, Valley Meat Co. processed this batch up ahead, so you won’t be left out if you live in a Lucky State. The meat was all processed between October 2009 and January 2010.  So if you have a freezer full of the tasty patties, your chances of ingesting this nutrient you crave are good. 

You people in California, Nevada and Hawaii have allllllll the luck. 

Adding to ongoing national food safety concerns, a Modesto meat processor said it is recalling 1 million pounds of ground beef and bulk ground meat products after their products were linked to seven people falling ill from a rare sub-type of the E. coli bacteria. 

Yeah. That’s right. One. Million. Pounds. Being recalled now – well into the summer barbecuing season. 

But get this: If you’ve got packages of the recalled meat in your freezer, it probably has been sitting in there for a while. 

The beef was distributed by Safeway. So if you stocked up on those burgers for the freezer and you shop there, you won the E Coli lottery! Congratulations! 

E Coli affected kidney

Now I know some of you will be torn between eating what’s in that freezer, also known as Food Roulette, or throwing it out and not being able to afford to buy more. Well, like they say in Russia, Toughsky Shitsky, because you’re on your own. You don’t expect the company that poisoned your meat to absorb the cost do you? Silly! 

Now, for those of you who prefer Salmonella to E Coli, we didn’t want you to feel left out. Lately, Uncle Sal Monella has been the preferred sickening agent of vegetarians. We want you to feel at home, So, if  you prefer your food to sicken you with Salmonella in your vegetables rather than E Coli in your meat, then hop over to your closest Taco Bell, whose veggies are suspected as the source of Uncle Sal in 21 states. If your state isn’t one of them, just be patient! I’m sure Uncle Sal is coming to your vicinity soon! We’ll keep you posted—-after the infection breaks out. We wouldn’t want anyone to accuse America of not being an Equal Opportunity Foodborne Killer. 

So far, Taco Bell’s Salmonella has sickened 155 people in 21 states. So get yours quickly to avoid the impending rush. 

Meanwhile, Here is a list of recalled products from Valley Meat Company. Lotsa lucky people out there! 

  • BIGGER VALLEY BURGER – 6/5# (73/27) Retail Bag
  • BIGGER VALLEY BURGER 12/3# (80/20) Retail Bag
  • HEARST 80/20 PATTIES 5/1R -10#
  • IQF 80/20 GROUND BEEF PATTIES, sized 2/1 OVAL, 2/1 RND, 3/1 Oval, 3/1 rnd,
  • 4/1 rnd, 4/1 thin, 5/1 rnd, 6/1 rnd, 8/1 rnd 10# case
  • IQF BEEF PATTIES WITH SOY, sized 4/1, 5/1, and 6/1 10# case
  • RPQ 80/20 GROUND BEEF 4/10#
  • RPQ 85/15 G B 4/10# CLEAR PACKAGING
  • RPQ 85/15 GROUND BEEF 4/10#
  • RPQ 85/15 GROUND BEEF PATTIES 160/4 oz, 40/4 oz cases
  • RPQ 90/10 GROUND BEEF 4/10# also clear
  • 100% ALL BEEF PATTIES – 12/3# RETAIL BAG (15% FAT)
  • 100% ALL BEEF PATTIES – 12/3#, 6/5#, 8/3# RETAIL BAG (73/27)
  • 100% ALL BEEF PATTIES 12/3# RETAIL BAG (20% FAT)
  • 73/27 GROUND BEEF Packaged in: 10/1#, 40/1#, 20/2#, 15/3#, 4/5#, 8/5#, 4/10#
  • 80/20 GROUND BEEF Packaged in: 10/1#, 40/1#, 2/5#, 4/5#, 8/5#, and 4/10# fresh and frozen
  • 85/15 GROUND BEEF Packaged in: 4/5#, and 8/5#
  • 90/10 GROUND BEEF – 8/5#
  • 90/10 GROUND BEEF PATTIES 160/4 oz case
  • 93/7 GROUND BEEF 4/10#

*Photo of how E Coli can affect a kidney was found here

For a video on how E Coli can affect you, go here


60 Responses

  1. And I just saw on Good Morning America that our pet food is loaded with the stuff as well. Apparently the point of the story was to remind us to wash our hands after handling pet food- or WAIT! Maybe the point was to distract us from THIS story!
    Great- we and our pets can all be sick together. Or perhaps they are trying to kill the old folks who live on cat food?

  2. Here is a link to the poison pet food story.
    “CHICAGO – Fido’s food may be making kids sick, a government report warns, detailing the first known salmonella outbreak in humans, mostly young children, linked to pet food.”

    The last line of the article warns against bathing infants in the kitchen sink. Horror of horrors! Nana did, Mom did and I also bathed my infants in the sink.(Saves the back and the stupid expense of buying a plastic counter-top top tub. Common sense! and frugality) BAD! BAD PMM! (I will also say that I have seen numerous toddlers munch dog kibble lol)

  3. Scary…..Good to know about though…..

  4. This is a huge problem. Most plants don’t do enough testing to identify pathogens. And there is a concern on the part of the federal government that if they make testing rules stricter, this will lead to MORE unsanitary meat slaughtering/packing practices.

    Yes, that’s right. More testing is bad! Because it leads to a false sense of security!

    I learned all about this in Microbiology last semester. I didn’t eat much meat before I took Micro, but I’m a vegetarian now. And I’d never, ever eat ground meat, or even allow it in my house.

    You have to treat all meat products in your home as if they are toxic. You should use separate cutting boards for meat and veggies. It’s been shown that not even the use of plastic cutting boards as opposed to wooden cutting boards prevents transfer of microbes. You have to wash everything with soap and hot water and clorox. Even then, just touching the faucet with your hand can cause transfer unless you’re super careful.

    Got to go study for my GRE’s.

  5. Hey what a great kick off for Obama care ! We can all run and flood the ER to be treated along with all the illegals leaving their trash and Shit all over the AZ desert. Of course the illegals will get treated first and we can just all go to hell and die thus fixing the need to repair Social Security. What a great plan ! I feel so much better each time I get to understand how our government plans to take care of all of us.

  6. OMG! ROFLMAO! This is off thread but hysterical! Found it in the comments at No Quarter- PUT DOWN liquids before viewing!

  7. PMM, that clip is hilarious. You know things are getting pretty bad when ridicule starts.

  8. P.S. I also bathed the gruesome twosome in the kitchen sink and they are big, strapping hulks now.

  9. Arabella- I took the full semester college course on Food Service Sanitation- and did not eat chicken for a year- and I still don’t eat hot dogs.
    We buy most of our meat from a local place- the animals all come from local farms. You can see right in to the cutting room- immaculate! They process one animal at a time and clean thoroughly!
    I respect those who choose not to indulge in meat- but afraid I am not yet ready to give it up. None of us has ever become ill from any kind of food poisoning- but maybe years in the restaurant industry built up my immunity and now we live on the farm in close proximity to the chickens and again, I think the constant exposure gives us a better chance of fighting off the germs.
    Too much sanitation, IMO, creates a weakness in the immune system. Can’t fight it if your body does not recognize it. But that of course, is strictly my opinion.

  10. I remember Julia Child talking about chicken as she washed it over and over and over again. She said if we ever saw how chickens are processed, you would do the same thing. I never forgot it. I treat chicken like toxic waste. And that’s pretty pathetic for what is supposed to be the most advanced country Evah. And it’s pathetic for a country that claims to want to cut down on the cost of health care. But then big agra makes huge political contributions.

    Also, remember the post I did on “Eat the dog” and how simply awful your pet’s carbon footprint is? Well don’t be surprised if the global warming crackpots aren’t in this mix somewhere. They found out that pets bring Joy and they must get rid of them.

  11. Mom you are right about exposure. Every parent I know who was obsessive about keeping their children away from this and that and just about everything has created a joyless, sickly kid.

  12. OMG Obama Man Can! I LOVE it. MUST PUT IT UP!

  13. TADA! I knew you would love that video! Happy Monday!
    Also- the kids who are subjected to obsessive cleanliness seem to have the most allergies and catch every damn bug that goes around.
    My daughter never missed a single day of school by illness until tenth grade. (I taught her to NEVER EVER touch a ladies room doorknob barehanded.) What was it Nana said? “Clean enough to be healthy, dirty enough to be happy.” Oh- and “everybody eats a peck of dirt before they die.”

  14. Arabella, in the last few decades, after dumbing down the schools, they have slowly boiled the frog known as the people. I remember when food recalls resulted in horror. Now they have us ACCUSTOMED to salmonella and e coli, telling US to boil, overcook, wash wash wash and worry. A whole cottage industry has sprung up over it. Instead of fixing the problems, they have gotten us living (or dying) with the problems. They did the same thing with plenty of things. Products, for starters. I remember when a bar of soap or a roll of toilet paper lasted FOREVER. Now, poof! and it’s gone. Buy more! A pound of coffee is now 11.5 ounces.
    New Low Price! means we are putting less in the can or the bag. And they did it with customer service too. There was a time when a fucking awful company like Verizon, with NO customer service, or a company like Dell with horrible repair records, and cars from GM that had horrible repair records were NOT Acceptable. Now, we still do business with these companies and simply EXPECT bad service and live with it.

    They haven’t fixed a thing except for corporate america and big agra. They fixed US instead.

  15. Mom, my grandmother used to say that! You gotta eat a bushel of dirt before you die.

  16. Interestink to think about…..My “sainted” mother raised 6 kids, was a great cook, used common sense & we never got food poisoning….EVER…..Unless as an adult we ate at a restaurant….

    But maybe the food wasn’t as scary then or we were protected by all those dyes & chemicals from the 60’s & 70’s….LONG LIVE RED DYE # 4….( I’m convinced these secret ingredients keep my organs functioning )

  17. I eat IN THE GARDEN! Right there! Pick it and eat it. Who can resist a sun ripened warm tomato right off the vine? Especially the little grape tomatoes- I snack on those while picking and weeding. Same with the first asparagus in the spring. No washing, just brush off any dirt on my jeans and pop it right in!

  18. Mom when I was a kid I used to bring one of those little morton salt shakers out in the garden.

  19. Uppity- I keep a pepper shaker in my garden basket LOL

  20. Ah that first tomato, you gotta pull it off the vine and shake that salt on it

  21. Ah that first tomato, you gotta pop it off the vine and then shake that salt on it.

    Then you take a whole bunch of them and slice them thick and line them up on a plate between fresh torn basil leaves and fresh mozzarella slices. Then you drizzle some good olive oil all over it. Then you get a loaf of crusty Italian or French bread and….

    Oh….um…I’ll see you all later.

  22. As a matter of fact- I made that exact meal for hubby’s birthday! The basil is planted in between the tomatoes and the local grocery store is finally carrying fresh mozzarella. We made a whole meal of it.

  23. Corn right off of the stalk is also yummy. Or picked fresh and roasted (in the husk) over a fire.

    Then there are the black raspberries which have such a distinctive taste and worth the thorn pricks!

  24. Blackberries are still coming on really strong here. Have made pie and jam already and eat lots and lots out of hand.

  25. And, as they say in southern Russia: toughski shitski y’all.

  26. one of my personally favorite expressions.

  27. I picked a boatload of blackberries this morning, Mom. But my neighborhood kids have had their eyes on them so I gave much of them away to them.

  28. We laughed when we first came out here to PA- the raspberries and blackberries are weeds here! I mean they are EVERYWHERE!
    Like low bush blueberries on Cape Cod. FREE!

  29. the caprese salad is very southern Italian, Mom.

  30. note ladies: I made a completely delicious yummy black raspberry ice cream – it is/was so good – I ate one pt by myself (over a couple days) – gave 2nd to nephew & his wife – farmer’s market on Wednesday – if they have some blackberries, gonna buy them & then make another batch – recipe is on – Delicious Blackberry Ice Cream – doesn’t say how much it makes but I filled two- 1 pint containers & a small 5 oz ramekin type bowl……

  31. another note: my sister gave me a recipe for marinated tomatoes (they were fresh from a farmer;s market where she lives – orange tomatoes OMG – they were so sweet & yummy – if it wasn’t a 2 hr drive I’d go get some – hoping farmer’s market on Wed has some good tomatoes)

    here is recipe:

    6 tomatoes – cut in wedges
    1/2 c thinly sliced green onions
    1/3 c olive oil
    14 c balsamic vinegar
    1/4 c minced fresh parsley
    2 cloves garlic, minced
    1 tsp salt or to taste
    1 tbsp fresh thyme or 1 tsp dried thyme
    1/4 tsp pepper or to taste
    my sis also added:
    1 chopped jalepeno pepper and
    1 chopped salsa pepper (had never heard of before – whoowie – that puppy adds a little bite)

    Marinate at least 2 hrs or overnite – eat it plain, on pasta, a steak, whatever – it was really good

  32. Mom

    Grew up in PA and the berries were ubiquitous. When we were young we would take bowls of ice cream outside and just pick the various berries off the bushes, brush off the major grit and dump them on top. Wonderful!

  33. Oh yum! Everyon reams of having an E coli affected kidney like that image. Not.

    Apparently washing stuff is quite a task these days, as evidenced by the number of infections all about. Yikes. Makes anyone want to pressure cook everything before putting to mouth to kill all the bugs.

  34. LOL Crier, the pressure cooker reminds me of a very funny story. My mother used the pressure cooker alot. I admit I have always liked how they cook but I have a bit of a phobia about them. Anyways, one day I got a phone call from Mom and she said, you have to get over here right now before I kill your father. Anyways, I scooted over to her house and walked into the kitchen. there were noodles everywhere, dripping of chicken broth. The place smelled like somebody made a vat of chicken soup for an entire battalion. the noodles were hanging from the lighting. They were hanging fom the ceiling, partially stuck there. Carrots were stuck to the refrigerator. you get the picture. I immediately did what anyone would do.I just plain cracked up laughing. Then she cracked up laughing. Meanwhile, my father was hanging out in the yard house. Apparently she got an important call and asked him to watch the pressure cooker. Then he forgot. The top blew off and the contents were projected thru the hole.

  35. That is crazy, UW! What a mess to clean up! Looks like the noodles and chicken soup were almost sterile before they hit the wall/cieling. The pressure cooker wasn’t adequately secured before the pressure made the pot go kablooey.

    The PC is an awesome piece for the kitchen. A must have. Dang, forget about heating up the kitchen with the long cooking times or oven. That thing makes stuff in a jiff, a fraction of the time. 20 to 30 minutes for chicken or a roast. Beans 20 min. Corn on the cob 5 min. PC nowadays are a nicer than the ones with clamps and screws from the olden days. Now you can get one of those with quick pressure release valves and make all sorts of fancy meals so much easier.

  36. Your dad musta been in the dog house for awhile for that one.

  37. No the cooker was sealed right, it’s just that you are supposed to be there at the right time or the thing just keeps going till it implodes. It was the old style where you had to turn it off after it whistled for the right time. Otherwise, KABOOM!. And yes, because she was so busy and owned a business, she used them to cook things fast.

  38. Oh UW, get yourself a newfangled one and join the joy of pressure cooking. But do stick around to watch it. Added benefot to the quick cook times: It makes your food sterile too.

  39. OT, but kind of funny. The church versus the dancers, or is it the dancers vs. the church?

  40. I now have nothing for dinner since I read this and tossed the hamburgers out. I’m hungry, but prolly healthier now that I didn’t eat the burgers. 😦

  41. LOL Crier. My father was an expert at defusing things like that. He was just pissed that dinner was gone.

  42. ttc ~ I have been cooking with a PC since I was in high school. It has saved me on more than one occasion. I think I’ll find something to cook.

  43. A PC is the bomb on Iron Chef America.

  44. tleslie, remember when PC’s were the rage times past? That is until slow cookers came around. They are good too. But when you need something big done fast, the PC wins hands down. Just don’t disappear on it, or else an UW home experience may ensue.

  45. DE will probably tell us a PC is not good for pie.

  46. With that cooker, you could take the world’s worst cut of meat and turn it into tenderloin. I think a pressure cooker is like a necessary tool for cutting costs of feeding a family on a tight budget.

    Also great for diets as you don’t have to add high calorie oil.

  47. Cuisinart makes an electric one now too. I would think that would be safer.

  48. You know, UW, lucky that PC didn’t bore a hole clear through the cieling/roof.

  49. And while we are on great cooking appliance, i couldn’t live without my nesco roaster. You don’t heat up the kitchen with the oven, cheaper to operate and does a great roasting job. I do my chickens in one all the time.

  50. Anything that helps make a tasty meal relatively fast and painless, and doesn’t heat up the kitchen, is a winner.

    Those Nesco’s have been around a long time too, correct? They make a delicious meal in one big pot. Especially good during the summer when its 100 degrees outside (and sometimes inside).

  51. Yes Crier, I’ve used them for years. My favorite one, five quart, is easily ten years old. Great for roasting a chicken, or making my chicken vesuvius. We like chicken so I roast one once a week. It’s a cleanup saver too.

    And you can just lift the lid to check how things are going instead of burning your arm on the oven. I throw sweet potatoes in there, white potates. I bake potatoes in tin foil, etc. You can throw anything in there with the chicken too.

    I find the oval ones do not cook as well as the rectangular ones though.

  52. You know, UW, lucky that PC didn’t bore a hole clear through the cieling/roof.

    LOL! Had to paint the ceiling too. Still, even after cleanup, stray noodles were found for days. Hahahahah.

  53. Rather interesting, UW. Might have expected to find pasta stuck on walls at your house.

  54. But you broke the mold and went for chicken noodles.

  55. We can’t ever say this enough: Know your farmer, know your food.

  56. “You people in California, Nevada and Hawaii have allllllll the luck. “

    California: Known to be the insanely liberal state in the union.

    Hawai’i: A pretty close second to California.

    Nevada: Gave the country one third of the Obama-Reid-Pelosi trifecta.

    I’m sure it’s just a coincidence. 😉

  57. Do you suppose the taco bell thing in Montana, Kentucky and North Carolina were to level things out? Or maybe each extreme is assigned its own foodborne weapon. Far left slings Uncle Sal at Far Right. Far Right slings E Coli at far left.

    Geeze,watch this snark catch on with the conspiracy theororists….

  58. Look, just because the Zionist-Muhammedan-Trilateral Commission-Bavarian Illuminati-Bush/Clinton-Black Helicopter Squadron is beaming messages into my brain, doesn’t make me paranoid!

    (Although it would be interesting if the Left and Right were actually conducting a foodborne biowar. I predict some sort of online game in this genre will evolve pretty quickly.)

  59. Your messages pretty much cover everybody. You are soooooooo screwed.

    But just remember. Just because you are paranoid doesn’t mean they aren’t after you.

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