If he’s there, there are plenty more where he came from! Humor him! He’s your friend. Just tell me where you live, so I make sure I never visit. However, continue on as usual with your friend the cockroach. In fact, you should encourage more of them to visit. You just may be helping medical science by collecting as many as you can.
Unlike the two-legged cockroaches, many of whom hold seats in Congress and Czar jobs, and who do nothing for us but take our money and ruin our lives, the real cockroach is being studied as the next antibiotic savior against super bugs.
It seems that, because cockroaches love to hang out in filth (your kitchen notwithstanding, of course!), their brains have developed ways to fend off other things as disgusting as they are, but which are more apt to kill you–such as e Coli. Too bad they also CARRY the deadly bacteria, but don’t let that stop you from starting a cockroach farm, okay? When was the last time a cockroach died from e Coli, do you know? See what I mean?
Cockroach brains may be a source of new antibiotics capable of killing deadly drug-resistant bacteria, according to research that suggests the germ-spreading pests may be good for something after all.
Insects such as cockroaches have a defense mechanism against bacteria, a “logical” development from living in unhygienic conditions, research from the U.K.’s University of Nottingham showed. Tissues from the brains and nervous systems of cockroaches and locusts killed more than 90 percent of MRSA and E. coli without damaging human cells, scientists said.
Research has shown cockroaches to spread germs linked to allergic reactions and asthma in the home and drug-resistant bacteria in hospitals. Invasive MRSA, or methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus, is a hospital-acquired infection that sickens about 90,000 people and kills 15,000 in the U.S. every year, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in Atlanta.
“Insects often live in unsanitary and unhygienic environments where they encounter many different types of bacteria,” Simon Lee, a postgraduate researcher who led the study, said in a statement yesterday. “It is therefore logical that they have developed ways of protecting themselves against micro-organisms.”
Just think of what a boon this will be to all our filthy, disgusting Big Agra food processors who ship their deadly bacteria free of charge in their poultry, vegetables, eggs, beef, and, increasingly, just about everything else we eat while we pray. I’ll bet they already have plenty of cockroaches around, along with rats and their droppings. Now they can increase profits by raising those cockroaches and contributing to science, so that one day we will be able to ward off all the deadly diseases we are subject to simply by participating in that silly, unnecessary pastime known as eating. It beats cleaning things up in food production and distribution, doesn’t it?
Science is amazing, isn’t it? I mean, if they can take a horrible thing like botulism and use it constructively to place a permanent grimmace on Nancy Pelosi’s face, there is no end to what they can do for us with cockroaches. I just hope that the resulting antibiotic doesn’t result in a sudden urge to hang out under sinks and only come out at night.
The truth is, cockroaches have always evolved their survival skills faster and better than we have. Just goes to show you how smart we really are.