Well, let’s face it. No week is complete without another food recall, is it? And isn’t it wonderful that babies get to participate too?
Gotta love Abbott/Similac. I mean if they tried any harder to sicken babies, it might actually become obvious.
Oh wait! The FDA, in honor of this baby-loving company, issued “Acceptable Levels of Melamine” standards just for Abbott and our owners, China. The FDA: Looking out for you and your baby all the time.
The voluntary recall is taking place because the company believes that their product may contain beetles. For those of you who don’t understand Poisonese, “May contain beetles” means somebody found bugs in their plant that became filler for formula.
Please note that “Voluntary” means the inspector found the beetles. Damn things just can’t be trained not to be seen.
Yum! I wonder if they ate least ground the beetles up first. I mean infants can’t chew yet! Later, they can come out with a Jr. food version with little beetle pieces, but this is a no-no for infants, Similac. Otherwise, beetles would be just fine. I’m sure the FDA will issue an “Acceptable Beetle Level” just for you.
Abbott spokeswoman’s Melissa Brotz said in a statement that after small insects were discovered in the cans of milk that are produced at a manufacturing facility in Sturgis, Michigan it was decided to recall several products.
Big of you, Melissa!
Brotz went on to say that the company has decided to stop all production in the building where the bugs were found and that they are the ones who contacted the Food and Drug Administration to initiate the recall of 8-ounce, 12.4-ounce, and 12.9-ounce cans of Similac powder that were sold in the United States, Puerto Rico, Guam and some countries in the Caribbean- please be aware that Abbott liquid formula is not at all part of the recall.
The FDA revealed that the beetles found in the cans can could cause discomfort,irritation of the gastrointestinal tract, causing the infant to lose appetite if they are ingested.
Why don’t you guys get some reptiles for the plant? That way, they could eat the beetles. Maybe you could get the FDA to issue an “Acceptable Reptile Residue” level, just for you and China.
Mommies and Daddies, Similac has a web page addressing this little problem called www.similac.com/recall10 – not to be confused with recall09, where those pesky illegal plastic bottles were contained in Similac’s Hospital Discharge Kits. But hell, you ingrates, that wasn’t as bad as the Similac Melamine problem in 2008! I mean, beetle parts is an improvement over plastic, isn’t it? But you probably shouldn’t worry this time. The only recalled FIVE MILLION cans. I mean, what are the odds, right? Besides, baby beetles need to eat too, you know.
Having trouble getting to that Similac web page? Me too! Shucks! Similac handed out this web address to the entire press machine. Unfortunately, the page “Cannot be found”.
But don’t worry! Similac really cares! Here’s the real web page, but don’t tell anybody. If Abbott/Similac wanted everybody to know, they would have given this page to the press instead of the page that doesn’t exist. But try not to blame them. After all, it’s probably very confusing for Similac to keep track of all their recall problems.
Stay with them, though! Who knows what goodies they will bring in 2011?
**Update: “Not Found” page is Found! It’s a miracle I tell you!
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