Onion: Tests are biased against students who don’t give a sh*t

Just perfect.


60 Responses

  1. Don’t know where to make this comment and I won’t have much time to follow up (I’m at work).
    BUT I just got this link from my “daily news” email from the Chicago Tribune about moilsoc’s picture being removed from her school’s website . . .


  2. Leslie,
    I thought the girls at Michelles Mirror would enjoy this so I gave you credit and posted your link at:


  3. thanks, greenlantern

  4. Uppity, this is great! Is it possible they may also be referring to other “misunderstood” sections of our society? I can’t imagine which ones, though.

  5. The video, sadly, holds an element of truth, not only about the state of a whole lot of students, and more particularly about the quality of so-called “pundits”.
    The Onion does great social commentary cloaked in satire – very funny.

  6. I LOVE SATIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  7. Hahaha! That was hilarious! Reminded me of myself when I was in school. Actually I think the whole “teach kids to pass the test” practice of education is part of the problem. When I was in school, I would cram for a week before the test, score high, and forget most of it a week later. There are several homeschool philosophy’s that regard tests as counter productive. One of them is called “project based”, and the kids do a project about whatever subject they’re learning, like a film, or an art or science or sociology project. Laker did some of this when he was homeschooling thru an expensive private (but WASC accredited) school. I thought it had a lot of merit, and Laker did some amazing work & even won blue ribbons when we’d enter some of his stuff in county fairs or other ed. conv. He still did tests, but the education did not revolve around taking tests. Now that he’s in High School (thru a much cheaper private homeschool) & Jr College, his life is more about preparing for tests. Its kinda sad, really. I often miss his younger, carefree days.

  8. Michelle’s Mirror made me go Click the minute I read about hillary’s Cankles. Definitely not my kinda spot.

  9. I would LOVE to be on the Onion Staff.

  10. Hey I see where McCain got harassed by protestors on his way to a debate. John is one guy who one old political whore, didn’t he? Flip. Flop. Flip. Flop. Whatever it takes to win. He’s another one whose old entrenched ass needs to to retire on his wife’s money. He can take Horseface Kerry with him too.

    If the Republicans hadn’t pulled yet another nutbag out of their asses, McCain could have lost a primary. But nope. Gotta dredge up the psychos.

  11. HT, I thought the vid had a lot of truth to it! But besides the kids who don’t give a shit, there are parents who don’t give a shit & teachers who don’t give a shit. Laker went to public and private schools for 4 years before we pulled him out to homeschool and I used to volunteer as a parent helper in his classes. I saw a lot of bad parents and bad teachers during this time. The homeschool parents in our homeschool group are all extremely hands on when it comes to their kids ed. and the kids are all very motivated. We have several kids who have been published and had book signings, kids that go to the Nat’l Spelling Bee in DC, kids go to Julliard, win prizes and scholarships, 100% of our kids go on to college, its just amazing what dedicated parents can create when they put their minds to it. Also, our weekly field trips are mind blowing. My husband takes off work several times a year to go on them with us. You guys would not believe all the stuff Laker has done thru the homeschool group, plays, musicals, classes of every type, proms, teen events, its staggering. Our h/s group is one of the highest rated in the country. We’re actually lucky to live in this area.

  12. Uppity @ 3:53pm: Oh God Yes!!! Retire, please!

  13. HT, I thought the vid had a lot of truth to it!

    Satire always does, Socal. The idea is to make you laugh about the awful truth. Perhaps our schools will come up with a special trophy for kids who don’t give a shit. A future politician trophy.

  14. Hahaha! A trophy for kids who don’t give a shit! Perfect!

  15. Uppity, the Onion staff would be lucky to have you. You could probably teach them a few things.

  16. socal, sounds like you have a terrific group. I couldn’t home school – single parent, sole support with accompanying mortgage, so it was out of the question. What I did manage to do was watch them closely at their sprite level to determine their interests and talents – both of them chose drama and music. Arranged for lessons for both, then put them into and Arts school. Cost a bundle, but it was well worth it – mind you, I can’t move in son’s room for all the instruments but he’s a big boy so he has to clean it himself. Both were on the honor role every year and have awards for scholarship, leadership and their artistic endeavors. I’m not the only parent who did this – most of the moms and dads with kids at the arts program were very involved with their kids, so you are absolutely correct about parental involvement and the difference it makes.

    Uppity, don’t they already have awards for kids who don’t give a shit in elementary school? Doesn’t everyone in the class get an award for effort, attendance etc?

  17. Beats me, HT. You couldn’t pay me enough to go back into the classroom now.

  18. The owner of Campagna’s restaurant in New Jersey was found floating in the Hudson river. He appeared on that reality show, “Kitchen Nightmares”. Here’s part 1. you can see the rest by clicking on the next segment.

  19. Homeschooling is definitely not for everyone, but its nice that its now a viable and legal option in most states. I like having choices for everything in life. What works for one won’t work for another. HT, sounds like the twosome had a great ed exp! You done good!

  20. Hey UW did you see that the Segway inventor rode his invention off a cliff?

  21. OMG segment three, Gordon tells him his businesses is heading for a swim down the Hudson. Jaysus. And his wife is soooo sweet!

    Yeah I saw the thing about the Segway guy. Whoa. talk about irony.

  22. I think they wanted to have some of the kids in for that Onion segment but they couldn’t find any who gave a shit!

  23. Fredster, thanks for the belly laugh!

  24. HT: Oh my, I couldn’t help it. That line was just sitting there begging to be used! 😉

  25. DE @ 5:49: Good! And I’m sure it won’t do any good to appeal to their union local either!

  26. When I first watched the video it provoked memories of when they dumbed down the SATs because the tests discriminated against certain racial groups.
    Now we have a whole educational system that is IMO useless. It is so frustrating to see high school students and graduates who can not count change, can not spell, don’t know basic American History or how the government works. We pay taxes to support the public schools and get diddly.
    It saddens me that instead of buckling down and putting their nose in the books it’s sue sue sue to change the system so little Johnny won’t get an inferiority complex.
    A wise woman here once remarked on how shocked these little pissants were going to be when they hit the real world and find out how far their whining will get them. Hope they like flipping burgers and living in their parent’s basement forever.

  27. OT- Anybody else heading over to hear John Smart’s blogtalk radio show tonight?

  28. Yes, did you catch my sis last week?

  29. I missed last week- listened to some of it later- your sister? For real?

  30. Yeah Liberal Rapture was John and my sisters blog.

  31. Sorry gang but I have to take a couple of days off. But I’ll check you youse!!!!

  32. I can smell and taste it. My fingers are sticky. I hate you.

  33. Hey I didn’t make it, I found it at one of my pottery blogs complete with recipe.

    I did finish our pie today. AND I KNOW YOU LOVE ME PIIIIITTTTTTHHHHHH!

  34. Hey Bawack is gonna stick it to the kiddies. He wants a longer school year so that they can take more time to learn nothing, so that they can graduate and get a green job shoveling shit and giving 75% of their paycheck to the government to pay off the debt.

  35. That’s the pioneer woman’s sticky buns. She’s a good cook. Nice site too.

  36. Warning: Messing with the pioneer woman will result in buying the Next Size Up.

  37. Uppity, Michelles Mirror is not a pro-Hillary site but plenty snarky about MO. I’m working on the QT to infiltrate some Hillary-love. There are others, they’re afraid to speak up.

  38. Well green, if anybody can pull it off, it’s you. But I supect this is a far far right site.But I applaud your chutzpah!

  39. Hey MOM! I heard you schmoozing John Smart! He’s mine! Mine, I tell you!

  40. I recently had a student tell me that ‘if I would just grade easier’ she could get into nursing school, and that it was my fault she wasn’t going to be accepted. The Onion nails it.

  41. Should schools be doing more to reach out to students who don’t care about school

    Back in the dark ages, it was called a ruler or a yardstick that would come cracking down on the desks of the daydreamers.

  42. Well really, Bullmoose, you are just so mean. You know damned well that nobody minds having inferior nurses helping to determine if they live or die. Lighten up!

    She’ll probably cheat her way out of this one anyways.

  43. Yes, BM, grade easier. The nursing boards will then look pretty beastly later. Pay me now, or pay me later.

  44. Just finished listening to JSOM. Way to go PMM! It’s kinda fun the actually hear each other. My sister hogged up most of the show. She & John are in love with Sanchez UW.

  45. from a poster at NQ: (well said!)

    posted by Janis:

    I keep hearing this “we were so idealistic and loved puppies and rainbows and wanted to love the world … ” garbage. Where? Where was this?

    The caucus frauds?

    The stolen elections?

    The various “cunt” t-shirts?

    The death threats?

    The shoulder brush-off?

    The snark about periodically feeling down and lipstick on a pig?

    The bros before hos horseshit?

    The feminoid airheads frothing at the mouth over mommys-not-the-boss-of-me?

    The billy club carrying thugs at voting stations talking about murdering cracker babies?

    Where, precisely, was all this optimism and hope of which these disillusioned brutes speak?

  46. UW, you might find this interesting – about internet privacy and how BO is all for it (NOT).


  47. LOL Uppity! John’s show was fun!
    DE your sister is very astute!
    Why were you two lurking in the background? The real time chat room is fun! Sign in and join the fun! Besides – we needed both of you- a listener was having trouble with getting the sound to work- could have used your expertise!
    OT- just heard on the local news that unemployment in Erie PA is at 9.8 and here in our little burg it’s over 10%.
    But hey! The recession is over- right? right?

  48. I don’t do BTR chatrooms. They are a visual nightmare to me and give me a headache. Sowwy.

  49. lorac you went in spam due to a specific word I have on the blacklist.

  50. uh-oh……we’re all getting a scolding by Barry! Next he’s gonna say, “wait til your mother gets home!!!”

    WASHINGTON – Admonishing his own party, President Barack Obama says it would be “inexcusable” and “irresponsible” for unenthusiastic Democratic voters to sit out the midterm elections, warning that the consequences could be a squandered agenda for years.
    “People need to shake off this lethargy. People need to buck up,” Obama told Rolling Stone in an interview to be published Friday. The president told Democrats that making change happen is hard and “if people now want to take their ball and go home, that tells me folks weren’t serious in the first place.”

  51. LOL Barack is caught in his own irony.Nobody knows Inexcusable, Irresponsible and Unenthusiastic like he does.

  52. “Buck up”. ROFL what an A Hole. Who the hell does he think he’s talking to, his 8th grade class?

  53. I have to tell you, I don’t know about your friends, but the NUMBER ONE thing my friends hate about this slug is his lecturing, bossy tone.

  54. BINGO! He can’t even speak anymore without sounding lecturing, condescending, or just plain angry.

  55. Here’s the link if you want to read more:

  56. I love The Onion….

    You’ve probably seen this, Uppity, but thought I’d post a link about the penguin who goes shopping.


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