Happy Black Friday

 
Use this thread to post  Black Friday videos and stories you find on the interwebs. Or for a rerun chuckle, I thought I’d post a rerun of my Live Blogging at Walmart On Black Friday post from last year.

© Copyright, Uppity Woman 2009. All Rights Reserved.

 Here at a local Walmart a 32″ Tee Vee is on sale today for $268. I told everyone I don’t like and every over-extended loser I know who constantly buys things he or she can’t afford about the TV. I kind of figure if I am going to have to pay for their defaults, I might as well have some fun watching the stampede, right? They really should use Sam’s family and the board of directors of Walmart as workers on Black Friday, so that innocent hard-working underpaid Walmart employees don’t have to deal with the stampedes of  already over-extended suckers  they deliberately create while laughing from their penthouses.

****So Live, from Uppity’s place, blogging at Walmart’s.

7:45 AM–They don’t open till 9, but the parking lot is crowded as expected. Word has it that Capital One is thrilled about this sale. The TV, at $268 and $29% interest is going to make for a very good quarter for ole Cap One.

A couple of arguments have broken out about who arrived first and should be let inside first, but so far, no blood shed, although I have heard vocabulary words I haven’t used myself in years. Okay, I’ve used them but NOT A LOT!

There are certainly some interesting vehicles parked here.  I haven’t seen some of them in years. I see several cars still have their drivers and riders inside, all eating McDonald’s sausage McMuffin with Egg and other healthy fare. Others have left their cars to eat their healthy breakfasts, making it easier to just throw the empty wrappers and bags onto the ground, much to the glee of the seagulls that seem to have appeared out of nowhere. One guy is eating a Burger King Croissant sandwich, but the others won’t talk to him.

It’s very touching to see so many people willing to help the bank account of the one company that single-handedly brings down the standard of living in every community they raid–and  then rewards everyone with toothpaste that costs twenty cents less.

8 AM: More people arriving but no place to park, forcing them to walk  more than 50 yards for the first time in several years. All the handicapped parking spots have been taken by seniors who appear to be in remarkably good shape, forcing real handicapped people to figure out another way to get closer to the doors. I don’t know about you, but where I am, as soon as you turn 65, you get yourself a “handicapped” parking tag from your doctor, even if you play golf daily.

8:30 AM: Walmart employees are arriving,  perusing the parking lot in horror before they swiftly take a curve to the back of the building to enter. Some lights are being switched on inside, which has resulted in a low roar from the crowd. The glass doors are  already riddled with fingerprints of customers peeking in to plan their routes. Some keep tugging hard at the doors to see if they are unlocked even though they just saw somebody else do it. I do hope some of these folks have brought their Purell with them.

It’s truly amazing to see so many people with their kids gathering at the entrance, knowing how Walmart got caught hiring 15 year-olds and assigning them to wield chain saws to cut Christmas trees –a situation which resulted in a fine equivalent to a week’s stay in a good hotel penthouse for one of Sam’s kids— and a miraculous agreement with the Department of Labor that they will give Walmart 15 days notice before showing up to inspect them again. Truly truly heartwarming, isn’t it?

8:45 AM, the crowd is becoming rowdy. I hear rumbles of  why on earth they cannot open the doors now, after all everybody is there!  People are gathering around the doors in groups and there is some, jockeying, pushing and shoving going on. One guy just popped another guy in the face, although I am not sure why. I guess I should get closer but you can understand why I don’t think that’s such a good idea. After all, the doors will open soon! Some people are acquiring a glazed look in their eyes. This would be a great time to post Walmart’s Board of Directors and the Walton family inside the doors. Last year, a guard got killed thanks to their shenanigans designed to shake more money out of people who were buying things they probably couldn’t afford. Worked out well for Bank of America though!

I’m sitting in my car now. I don’t want to get hit with any flying objects in 15 minutes. I think I’ll pass the time counting the McDonald’s wrappers floating by me in the breeze. I am also counting the seagulls. 48 right now. And 9 nervous pigeons. They seem particularly excited about the bits of sausage stuck to the paper.

9AM, two really nervous looking employees, apparently managers, walk out of the inner doors to unlock the Gold. The crowd roars. One of the Unlockers pushes his hands toward the crowd to tell them to back away from the doors. Amazingly, they cooperate. The doors open and the two employees scurry quickly to the side so they don’t get hit by the doors. Apparently, they have been trained to avoid being hit by a door. That’s really big of Walmart, don’t you think?

The crowd pushes through, as if they are actually exiting a burning building. Doesn’t appear that anyone is injured though, just shoved around a lot.  As I now move closer, I notice the doors look REALLY dirty. Time for some Purell.

Once the mass entrance dies down, I’m going in, just me and my Purell. Wish I had brought my dog but then I don’t suppose they would let her in. Besides, that wouldn’t be a nice thing to do to the gulls.

I notice some stragglers are driving in and I noticed a “Holllllly Shit” look on a few drivers’ faces as they notice the lot jammed with cars. Some of them slowly drive off, apparently figuring a TV isn’t worth the walk.

I am going in………..

If you don’t hear from me in a timely way, know that I have enjoyed blogging for you. Feel free to donate to my funeral arrangements.

9:20 That was uneventful. I am greeted by the typical walmart greeter, only this one looks as though she has already put in a full day. I’ll bet Walmart doesn’t offer her health insurance options. This is also very heartwarming……the way Walmart takes the time to coach their lower level employees on how to apply for Medicaid, thus managing to get taxpayers to bear the burden for Walmart in exchange for 15 cents off the price of a bag of chips. I am truly touched, aren’t you?

I am a respectable distance from the electronics department, but close enough to see what’s going on. It’s very easy to discern the spot where the 32″ TV is. Some lady just body checked me because I was in her path. She has a kid in the cart and appears to have unloaded the entire shelf stock of Little Debbie cakes into her basket. The kid has a lot of snot coming out of his nose but she doesn’t seem to notice. She’s heading for the TV area.

9:30: Im moving in a little closer. Somebody really needs a shower. It may be more than one person. In fact, the ambience tells me that it’s probably a lot of people. Several people are having intestinal gas attacks too. It’s probably all those sausage McMuffins with cheese working their way into their systems. You couldn’t get me to move in any closer even if the 32″ flatscreen were fifty bucks. Lot’s of TeeVees being sold. I hear a nearby conveyor belt thing moving through some flaps, and  I notice plenty of people standing by. Kind of clever of Walmart to show everybody else  how fast those TV’s are being sold to somebody else.

The place is starting to look like the night shift cleaning squad is going to have its work cut out for it. Maybe this time, Walmart will be nice enough not to lock those undocumented workers in the building like they did that one time when the building caught fire and the employees were locked in with no possible exits. Walmart is such a swell company, isn’t it? That’s why everybody shops there!

9:56 The crowd is rowdy now. It seems that the 32″ flat screen is officially already out of stock. So fast! I’m shocked. Shocked I tell you!

The crowd is yelling RAIN CHECK! Some very pale guy in a white shirt, polyester pants and an official Walmart tag on his chest, who was probably once an Engineer, is shouting to the crowd that there will be no out Rain Checks, but they do have another even bigger flat screen TV on sale for $432, much to the chuckles of Capital One. There is a good deal of swearing going on and the crowd starts to thin, although a number of them stay behind to take a look at the  OTHER TV on sale. Nice job, Wally World.

Many walk away disgusted but they don’t leave the store. They begin to shop, having their hearts broken, they must find something to replace that TV they can’t get. Dammit, they came here prepared to spend $268 and by golly, they are going to do it!

I’m getting out of here, heading for the door. I notice the checkout counters. The conveyers contain plenty of flatscreen TVs. Some of the people in line have a rather smug look on their faces, because they heard the rumor that their TV is now out of stock so soon. I guess they showed everybody!

One common theme at each of the cashier stations is plenty of charge cards are being swiped. It’s been another great hour for Walmart, Capital One, Chase, Bank Of America and every other credit card company that has cranked up the rates of those who cannot defend themselves to 29%. I also wonder how much swine flu will be spread today.

Next: Christmas Eve!

UPPITY NOTE: No gang. I am not really at Walmart’s. I wouldn’t be caught dead in a Walmarts. They have single-handedly started the movement that has dropped the standard of living in the USA, and while they continue to do so, their victims shop there because they can’t help themselves. They need to buy things a bit more inexpensively since their standard of living has been reduced — and Walmart is happy to oblige, since Walmart is one of the main REASONS people need to shop a little more inexpensively.

And let’s face it. This very scene I am depicting is being played out all over America right now.

Walmart, if there is a place in hell for an entire corporation, then you should be the very first to grace the spot.

And don’t forget to save room for Best Buy!

t

71 Responses

  1. DE you comment on this morning’s post did not disappear. I shelved the post for now. It’s Blacck Friday.

  2. ROFLMAO! This post is hysterical (still! Again!) And the new header- what a riot!
    Our carcass is in the stockpot as we speak! With all the yummy celery tops and carrots and onion and fresh thyme! MMMMM.
    I watched some of the news this morning- Black Friday coast to coast. Suppose we should thank all those shoppers for “stimulating” the economy? The news person said she was asking people how they were paying and most said cash or debit.
    Me? Wouldn’t do Black Friday ever- for any reason. But then I have this thing about not being manipulated by the media. I will stick to giving things from my kitchen. I already have the baskets and ribbon and tissue all set up and ready to go. The only store bought things I need will be done in one trip to the toy store for the grandkids and the book store for the daughter.
    I can’t decide if it’s funny or pitiful watching these people risk life and limb and miss Thanksgiving camped out in parking lots.

  3. Hey Mom did you hear John Smart’s show Weds night? JayInLA was on the phone saying he wished you would call in again and that “Military Mom blows my socks off”.

  4. Best Buy Employees with video poking fun at the “Stupid” people.

  5. Mom hahaha. I took the carcass home. Oh man, I got attacked at the door when I came home. lol.
    I’m going to make me some REALLY good soup.

  6. I didn’t catch the show Ups- i have been in a bad way with the back and leg- I finally figured out a way to describe it- ever get a steam burn??? Mostly just laying around and trying to find a comfortable position. I will catch it in the archives.
    Love JayinLa, Lynne and John! I have fun when I call in! ANd the chat room is usually rocking too!

  7. OUCH Mom. You need yourself a second opinion stat.

    I was in the chat room, it was dead without you. Only two people talking were me and Madamab.

  8. FF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    GREAT HEADER!

  9. Yeah Uppity- They are supposed to see me on Monday- then I have the IME on Wed – good luck to them. I just want something to work! So far all the drugs they have tried have been either useless or have had some side effects I am not willing to put up with. (The neurontin made me shake like I was having seizures, the Lyrica made my vision blurry and made me stupid, the nortyptiline (sp?) was useless.)
    This steam burn feeling is horrible- I can’t even do my regular exercises and my walking. The nurse told me to take it easy- and don’t go shopping- yeah right- wasn’t in my plans anyway. I have been doing the exercises for a year and walking all along. Knew I was in trouble when I had to cut my walk off after only 1/4 of the way around.
    Funny cuz I got the description for it while I was sleeping- I have had my share of stem burns working in restaurants- and woke up from one of my brief snatches of sleep- having dreamed that I was standing in front of a giant steamer with the doors open and my back and legs exposed to the steam.
    Good thing I am Catholic- I will offer it up to God- remember that one?

  10. Racists. We should call it Orange Friday but then again, in this PC and political stunt time of mankind, it might be taken as a slur against Floridians.

    The catered restaurant meal at work didn’t give us any thrills. It was very boring food and today I have a slight “preservative and chemical” type mild headache. I believe the veggies were dumped from a can into a bowl with not even a pat of butter or salt added and then microwaved till they had the proper rubber consistency. The pie was passable and the ice cream cake bought at a creamery was heavenly. Dessert made up for a ho-hum meal.

    Mom, do ice packs help? Warm bath? Heating pad? Many years ago before my disc surgery (they removed three broken lumbar discs with a vacuum) I had lots of sciatic nerve agony. I taped a heating pad to the sore spots and it did a world of good. That and pre-op morphine got me through.

    (btw – since surgery I have been (knock wood) I have been as good as new. Three discs less but functioning just fine and dandy and no pain.)

    Soup sounds good… be by later!

  11. LOL Karen- they did a microdiscectomy in April and took part of the L5- though the L4 is still there and I believe that is what is causing the pain. No morphine for me- violently allergic-
    Yes on the hot baths and the ice packs- alternating heat and ice keeps it to a level where I don’t jump out a window. And agony is the right word.
    Way back at the beginning of this nightmare they gave me flexiril and vicodin. At least I could sleep with those.
    The thing that makes me the angriest is the surgeon absolutely guaranteed he would be able to resolve the leg pain. NOT! And why he did the L5 and not the L4 I still don’t know.
    I am sick to death of being stabbed and poked and prodded and given drugs that do not work. It scares me to death to even think about going through any more surgery. The post surgical pain was terrible. And here I am with exactly the same pain as before. WTF? That was useless. The post surgical MRI with contrast (done about 6 to 8 weeks post surgery) showed scar tissue already developing. Which may be an issue in and of itself. Think the surgeon would have noted that I have a history of adhesions from my gallbladder surgery? And maybe not promised me it would work?

    Glad the surgery worked for you- and lots of people have told me thye have had very good results with this type of surgery. Guess I am just out of the norm.

  12. Hi Mom…
    I have a client who has suffered from severe back and leg pain for years. Many surgeries to correct never worked and made it worse. This past year she had botox (despite the insurance refusing coverage) and it instantly made such a difference and offered huge relief to her. I don’t know what all you have tried, I know this has been a painful time for you. And I can’t say whether my client’s distress was caused by the same or similar triggers. But if you haven’t tried botox, talk with your docs.

  13. UW ~ Every time I think of your live blogging at Walmart last year I laugh out loud. Thanks for reposting.

  14. Would someone please contact Proud MIlitary Mom and tell her to look up cauda equine syndrome, diagnosed by MRI. the burning feeling and pain is a major symptom. time is of th essence. Happy Holidays

  15. It’s just as funny this year as it was last year (wiping tears of laughter) and I love the header.
    Got a toothache – must call dentist – but I’m not having that root canal, they can just yank the damn thing out. BBL

  16. Leslie- thanks for the tip. A lot is going to depend on the result of the IME next week. Worker’s Comp is obviously trying to put an end to paying. No telling if they are looking for a determination of maximum medical improvement or trying to say I am cured and can return to work. Will be talking with the lawyer on Monday.
    Botox huh? I will have to look it up. Have not heard of that as a treatment. Thanks for the heads up.

  17. Thank you Carole and Happy Holidays to you too.

    Mom, link to go with Carole’s suggestion.
    http://www.emedicinehealth.com/cauda_equina_syndrome/article_em.htm

  18. Leslie, this one is memorable for me because I laughed so hard I was literally crying as I wrote that piece.

  19. The banner! LOL! I should have cooked, Uppity. Damn.

    Double damn. Went out. Needs pie! (as leftovers) has none.

  20. Carole and Uppity- Cauda equina was one of the first things my OWN primary care doc had ruled out. She had me right back to the ER for an MRI, not trusting the one done at the onset. No bladder or bowel trouble thank God. Though I do keep prunes on hand as the NSAIDs and pain killers can have a “slowing” effect shall we say.
    I just keep rotating the ice and heat – and take the skelaxin and calcium to keep the cramping of my legs and feet to a bearable level.
    Thanks to all for the kind thoughts and suggestions. I am just taking it easy this weekend. Fortunately hubby is off til Sunday night and is being most extremely helpful. He and daughter did most of the cooking yesterday- though I did the pies and gravy. LOL

  21. wow Mom, sorry things are so awful for you. I have has so much back stuff too, and all-in-all, except for the minor injections I spoke of before, nothing really does much for me. I hope you can get some real answers AND RELIEF. I really empathize with you.

    On another note – I ACTUALLY had to go to Wal-Mart this morning. Now, I NEVER go to Wal-Mart if I can help it, but went down to Charlotte’s this morning to help with something and discovered her 4 cup Farberware Electric Percolator’s cord was fried and rotten where it plugs into the coffee maker. I have ordered parts for this thing before, but there is so much rust-rot inside the electrical connection at the base of the pot I didn’t want to order just a new cord. I looked on line, and found them easily and less-expensively at Wal-Mart. So, I braved the elements (Wal-Martians) and went. It was not as bad as I had imagined, although I did go “The Back Way” and avoided the Mall area up the road.

    I didn’t know where to go look so I asked a young man with a Tag where I could find coffee makers. He said “Model 7745?” or something like that, and I realized he was offering me a part number. Wal-Mart had apparently had an advertised special on some sort of coffee maker and there was a lot of buzz in that area. Coffee Makers. Who knew! I told him I was not there for an “advertised special” and he shrugged and showed me to the aisle. After spending a few moments looking for ANY electric percolator, I finally asked a woman nearby who was stocking shelves. Told her I had seen it on line. She told me they never carry them, and they are available on line only.

    Shrug.

    So, I thought “figures” – but went and bought a set of sheets and a box of security envelopes anyway. The other day I had spent 25 minutes unfolding and re-folding sheets while trying to make my King Size Bed – because NONE of the sheets I pulled out were the right size, so sheets were on the list anyway, as were envelopes.

    The coffee pot was also shown to be at Best Buys, but I figured lorac had left by then, so no sense in trying that suicidal maneuver!

    I’ll order it on line in a few.

  22. FF- Thanks. And lol on the percolator. We have a blue enamel stovetop percolator from our camping days. Comes in handy when the power goes out. We have had it forever it seems. Even on camping trips we never used instant coffee- made lots of friends when the smell of the coffee perking would waft through the campsites early in the morning.
    They just don’t make things like they used to huh?

  23. Mom, glad Claudia is ruled out. Claudia Equina sounded like an Italian exotic dancer to me.

  24. I remember this post too….lol. Thought you had lost it traipsing out to WallyWorld for a TV!

    Sorry to hear you are in pain MM and FF Too how about a little Reiki healing sent your way?

  25. Black Friday? No way in hell! We had rain roll in last night/early a.m. followed by a cold front. I swear temp dropped 12 degrees from 6 to 50 in an hour. Around 3:30 or so I got curious (nothing on the teevee) so I decided to drive by Wal-Mart since it’s only a couple of blocks away. I could NOT believe the crowd out in that nasty weather. I laughed my ass off and then came home. They’d have to be paying ME for the stuff for me to even consider fighting that nonsense.

    Speaking of fighting….don’t mess with no Loozieana bayou putty tats:

  26. me@2:30 should have been temp dropped from 66 to 50. Duh!

  27. Been busy. Anyone report on barry’s 12 stitch mishap today playing yard ball.

  28. I can’t believe nobody picked those two cats up and rescued them after that horrendous close call. they aren’t feral either. Too friendly to be feral.

  29. Thought you had lost it traipsing out to WallyWorld for a TV!

    Bahahaha. Ye of little faith.

  30. Hi Sonrisa, glad you have a good day.

  31. FF those farberware percs make great coffee, and HOT for a change. But you gotta drink it all down. An hour later it’s mud.

    Mom, I have two of those old aluminum stove pots. Now THAT’s great coffee. Problem is you have to let them perc over and destroy your stove.

    I have bought so damned many coffee brewers, even the BUNN personal one. The coffee is delicious but NOt Hot ENOUGH. I HATE barely hot coffee. So you will never guess what I use. A thirty year old Mr. Coffee. One of the very old models before somebody got that brain fart that coffee is supposed to be a certain degrees that is NOT hot enough. It makes GREAT coffee and it’s hotter than that piss warm coffee you get out of today’s machines.

  32. Uppity@4:10: The boat or whatever had a sign on it for Cajun Tours (?) or something and if you look in the background you can see what looks like someone’s yard. It’s not unusual to have a house on the bayou in those parts of Louisiana. The cats probably belonged to someone. i was surprised at the people standing so close and apparently unconcerned! There’s no way in hell I’d be that close to a gator. They can crawl pretty fast on land, faster than you’d think.

  33. Hey Uppity! Alana Simpson thinks today’s seniors are “the greediest generation”

    http://trib.com/news/opinion/blogs/capitol/article_7b471b72-f803-11df-8010-001cc4c002e0.html

  34. DE, awwww, poor widdle Barry – one wonders if the elbow was really an accident.
    Uppity, I’m with you – why did no one take those cats and the kid out of harms way. I suppose they thought it would be more interesting if either the cat or the kid got dragged into the swamp – more views on utube. That was one strong kitteh – didn’t budge an inch – it could teach a whole lot of people a valuable lesson. Zeke would have pushed me toward the gator, although to be fair, if either of the gruesome twosome were threatened, he’d sacrifice himself to save them – cats are funny that way.
    PMM – be well. Sending healing thoughts your way and towards FF as well.

    karen, I’ve got half a chicken and leftovers in the fridge (and it wasn’t even my Thanksgiving, but all your talk got the gustatory juices flowing). Come and get it – explanation – there’s only me and the gruesome son. I don’t eat much – never did, but I cook up a storm and enjoy it – but then I’m left with too much food and not enough stomachs.

  35. FF Alan simpson ought to know.He’s the poster child for greedy seniors, what with his FULL PAY pension from farting in a seat in Congress for too long, gets his paycheck right from the government teat. Didn’t even PAY INTO that pension. Just sucking off his own personal teat.

  36. DE If he had fallen on his head there would have been less to damage considering how little he has in his dome. Now the arm, that’s a problem. Can’t point and blame that easily.

  37. Uppity – It was Barry’s lip that was made phat. Not his arm. (or did I misread you?)

    Maybe now, since he is such a preen-queen, we won’t have to see nor hear him for the next 10 days or so until he becomes beautiful again!

    Or maybe, he will play Reagan, and wave from the White House Balcony.

  38. No you didn’t misread me, FF.

    Fat lipwill probably only shut him up for a day or two. Hey, what’s he doing in the USA? He’s been here like three days! Time for a trip.

  39. OOOh poor baby bawack- he gets a split lip from a member of the Hispanic something or other Caucus- while playing hoops.
    DAMMIT! The Koreas are about to blow up and he is out PLAYING! AGAIN!
    Can he just once at least ACT like a President?

  40. Sorry- here’s the link
    http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20101126/ap_on_go_pr_wh/us_obama
    “The White House did not initially name the person who caused the injury, but identified him later Friday as Rey Decerega, director of programs for the Congressional Hispanic Caucus Institute.”

    If you click on the link you can see a pic of him in the upstairs window of the WH holding what looks like a towel to his mug.

  41. Mom, that’s a good question. I’m surprised his boo-boo made it to yahell news.

    Well, I’m not sure who the bigger fools are – these idiots/sheeple/no-lifes who actually mill around waiting for these red-herring “deals,” or us for driving to California for T-day. Results pending.

  42. He’ll probably blame the hispanics.

    Anyways, that’s nothing compared to the figurative fat lip Marco Rubio is going to give him in two years.

  43. 12 stiches on a lip = permanent scar. Lucky him to have free golden health insurance that will cover the plastic surgery.

  44. Oh. My. Gawd. You guys have GOT to read this. DO NOT miss it!

    http://herlocaust.org/news/2010/11/travel-tip-for-women-wear-your-rights-religiously/

  45. Well here’s another to read: The Rethugs think that the election gives them a go ahead on social issues. They won because of the independents. The indies aren’t with the rethugs on social issues. So wach another turnaround in 2 AND 4 years.

    http://tinyurl.com/rethugs-notjusttheeconomy

  46. Yup Fredster, just as expected. They are going to turn into the same assholes they were when they got thrown out of power.

  47. I honestly hope an indy runs for President. These two useless hijacked parties would be abandoned so fast, there would be skid marks.

  48. Uppity: Everything told them they won because of economics and these fart-breaths don’t get it! 👿

    And don’t expect Repub. women to gripe or complain about things like “covenant” marriages or reproductive rights either. Nahgonnahappen.

  49. I wish an Indy would run also, but where the hell are they going to get 300 or 400 million dollars to run?

  50. Of all people to talk about divorce, Republicans. Between Newt and Rush alone, there’s what, seven marriages?

    They love them their sacred marriages. In fact they love them their marriages so much that they keep doing it again and again. The divorce rate among fundies is the highest in the country. And they call gays a threat to marriage. THEY are the threat to marriage. Then they are outraged at Islam multiple marriages. Hey at least those goatfuckers KEEP them all.

  51. And they call gays a threat to marriage. THEY are the threat to marriage.

    Obviously I agree!

    re: Rush Recall what the G.M. or Chevy guy said to him when he bad-mouthed the Volt: Remember driving and Oxycontin don’t mix. 😉

  52. Aw hell….I’m going to heat up some turkey, taters and dressing.

    BBL

  53. Yeah Funny how Rush shut the hell up about drug users after his little experience. And even funnier how he shut the hell up about the ACLU when one of their most powerful card carrying attorneys Roy Black came to his rescue. Funny, that. If the law had taken all of rush’s previous demands, he would be in prison for life and the ACLU would have let his ass fry.

  54. Uppity, I laughed so hard I couldn’t stop and had to stop eating. I remembered this from last year as well but it was just as funny this year. Couldnl’t catch me at Walmart either. Thanks for this wonderful place to visit.

    Mom, I, too, send healing energy your way and prayers. I’m so sorry you’re in such pain.
    FF, love the header. You are so talented. Hugs to everyone here, it is so much fun to read all this.

  55. Great post. I missed it last year. I started to read it and thought, 9:00 doorbusters, where the hell’s she at. I’m like you, I don’t do Walmart. I have done doorbusters at the mall and toys r us. But by 9:00 I’m back home in bed.

  56. And the TSA Band plays on….

    While Americans are getting poked and prodded; while Obama plays Basketball as Korea lobs bombs… while we defund troops at the border…

    “(Reuters) – U.S. border agents said on Friday they had found a multimillion dollar drug-smuggling tunnel under the U.S.-Mexico border that is more sophisticated than one discovered less than three weeks ago in the same area.”

    http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE6AP4FS20101126?feedType=RSS&feedName=domesticNews&rpc=22&sp=true

  57. This Walmart post always cracks me up, but it also always reminds me of what a good writer UW is (yes, I WAS fooled the first time I read it!)

    BTW, Big Pink’s response to BO’s fat lip: “Atheists Beware! Deists have powerful new evidence that the Almighty Is Still On The Throne”

    ROFL!

  58. Uppity, I’ve been trying to get over and comment since last night.

    Read Happy Black Friday right before I was heading out and running late and just haaaaadddd to read it twice!

    I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so hard!

    I’ve been to Walmart – the last trip for Puma-Prowl flip-flops – and decided to never go back to the “Screw America, Industrialize China, Big Tent, End Cap Mall!

    You nailed it! The one not far from me has a “Black Friday” – grab and growl those average prices – crowds, seven days a week – with a McDonalds, Sea Gulls and Pigeons just like you describe!!! ROTFL!

    It sits on the same acreage as a Sams – don’t ask questions, you’re on your own, you need a front-end loader at home to shop here – Store!

    It is so hilarious! I can just see you howling when you wrote this. I don’t know how you did it!

    Thanks! – Oh, and Happy Belated Thanksgiving everyone!

  59. lorac – She had me too!

    (I swear she was there – there’s just no way!)

    ROTFL!

  60. FreedomFairy:

    The TG Headers have been just fabulous!

  61. Happy Belated Thanksgiving to all!

    Lots of yummy leftovers to all.

  62. Here we go again from the “religion of peace”. Cough, cough.

    PORTLAND, Ore. – Federal prosecutors say a Somali-born teenager plotted to carry out a car bomb attack at a crowded Christmas tree lighting ceremony in downtown Portland on Friday but the bomb turned out to be a dud supplied by undercover agents as part of a sting.

    Mohamed Osman Mohamud was arrested at about 5:45 p.m. just after he dialed a cell phone that he thought would blow up a van laden with explosives but instead brought federal agents and Portland police swooping in to take him into custody.

    Federal court documents show the sting operation began in June after an undercover agent learned that Mohamud had been in contact with an “unindicted associate” in Pakistan’s Northwest Frontier region.

    Mohamud is a naturalized U.S. citizen who has been living in Corvallis.

    Ah yes…the religion of “peace”. MY ASS!

  63. Fredster:

    Ah yes…the religion of “peace”. MY ASS!

    (You forgot the standard disclaimer… “Now, don’t get me wrong,… there are a lot of good……”)

  64. her: Yes, but where are they?

  65. lol! They’re busy trying to get into my head, Fredster.

    I think I’ll start including one at the bottom of all of my comments like…

    “Yep, Cats do have a mind all their own.”

    NOW, DON’T GET ME WRONG… THERE ARE A LOT OF GOOD… (please, do us all a favor and just fill in the blank with whatever the topic of my comment is. thanks.)

  66. Goodnight.

  67. LOL!! Perhaps you can find a way to do a hot-key thing that will just add the text at the bottom of your comment when you hit the key combo. 😉

  68. hmmm… hit key it in? Good idea, Fredster!

    Goodnight!

  69. hot, h-o-t

  70. Sorry, was over at John Smart’s place for a bit.

    Nite to you also.

  71. Well, I am on the fence sometimes with this. For example, there are a lot of good people in Iran who have tried to fight the Fascist Theocracy, and many of them were killed (think “Neda”). They BEGGED Barack Obama to help them and he just let them all die in favor of his psycho buddy in charge. It seems to me none of this was lost on American Muslims who would consider rebelling. Many of them came here to get AWAY from where they were and find themselves frowned upon if they assimilate into our culture. I still believe there are many who walk with two feet in one shoe. Let’s remember the two sisters in Texas who were killed by their barabaric father for being “too western” and the 911 call one of them made as she was dying. Or the savage who ran down his daughter with a truck. The woman in buffalo whose “bridge bulider” husband cut her head off, she left behind documents and writings that told his tale. The prosecutor was warned NOT to call it an Honor Killing,which is exactly what it was. this freak is trying to make his dead wife look like she was at fault and HE was abused. Think about that one. The problem here is our American leadership shows weakness, not strength, thus encouraging this to go on.

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