I remember when butter was bad and margarine was good. Then margarine was bad and butter was better. Coffee was bad, but coffee is good. Milk was good and now milk is bad. Real milk is reallllllly bad. You have to drink the watery shit. Alcohol is bad but drink some wine. I won’t even get into the Aspartame scam that nearly put saccharine out of business and turned out to be even worse than they pretended saccharine was.
Our government has been handing us a plate of shit to eat for so long, we should have all learned long ago to just roll our eyes and do the opposite of that they tell us. But never was there more glaringly obvious proof that the nutritional bullcrap that comes from our government should be ignored than when the USDA took the Food Pyramid, which they shoved in our faces as the only path to health for decades, and changed their minds.
Gang, we are believing nutritional advice from basically the same bunch of people who think Genetically Engineering simply everything we put in our bodies using seeds from a CHEMICAL company is just fine. We hang on the words of the same bunch of people who see no problem with laboratory-created In Vitro Wasted Muscle Tissue as a substitute for meat. Hormones are also good. We are constantly handed advice from the same people who see nothing wrong with irradiating ground beef.
Well, today’s USDA bullcrap target is eggs. Yes, eggs. You know about eggs. They’re awful for you because the yolks are just full of cholesterol and have practically no Vitamin D in them, so you are going to get Rickets if you eat too many eggs, or some such crap. Eggs are bad for you. What is good for you is overpriced slimy liquid egg whites with yellow coloring in them. Eating an egg yolk is a Death Wish. That’s a fact. Ooops! That WAS a fact. Today’s fact is different.
In fact, when the USDA-ARS tested standard large eggs from different sources for nutritional content, they found that the average egg contained 185 milligrams of cholesterol, which is 14 percent lower than previously recorded. The analysis also revealed that large eggs contain 41 IUs of vitamin D, which is an increase of 64 percent.
“We collected a random sample of regular large shell eggs from 12 locations across the country to analyze the nutrient content of eggs,” said Dr. Jacob Exler, nutritionist with the Agricultural Research Service’s Nutrient Data Laboratory, in a press release. “This testing procedure was last completed with eggs in 2002, and while most nutrients remained similar to those values, cholesterol decreased by 14 percent and vitamin D increased by 64 percent from 2002 values.”
I’ll bet you’re all glad you gave up deviled eggs all these years. So, whatever you do, don’t forget to listen to the next crock of crap the USDA hands you, okay? Because if you gave up your over easy eggs, don’t blame me. I never stopped eating them.
The article goes on to say that the change is because of farmers using different feed and blah blah blah. I say it’s because some lobbyist wants to sell eggs and sales are down after that disgusting scare brought to us by a revolting Big Agra pig who never seems to go to jail. But hey, what do I know? I always ate eggs and generally already understand that any nutritional instructions given to me by a government bureaucracy that would would tip its own Gospel Food Pyramid upside down aren’t worth listening to.
You might still hold some confidence in the USDA. Go for it! But I do not. They lost me a long time ago. If you have lived long enough, you have watched these yahoos change their minds like clockwork. In ten years, the USDA will probably be telling us we are all suffering from cholesterol deficiency and fried wings are the ticket.
My grandfather lived to just short of his 97th birthday. He sucked raw eggs directly from the chicken’s butt. God knows what those chickens ate. Some of those eggs still had feathers on them when he poked the holes in them. He ate a half dozen runny eggs for breakfast without blinking. He also liked pork hockeys in his Sunday sauce. He didn’t have an ounce of fat on his body, but then again, he put a new roof on his own house at age 89. He also smoked two packs of Camels a day. The kind without the filters. He ate his 14 oz Porterhouse steak barely warmed and washed it down with home fries soaked with oil. He ate his fruit by cutting up a fresh peach and soaking it in his home made wine, which incidentally, could take the rust off chrome.
My grandfather would have told the USDA to crap in their hat and put it on their head. I’m with Grandpa.