Oh Goodie. We have another Rapture date to add to the endless list.

Well, it’s that time again. Rapture Time.

It’ the time when every profit prophet in the USA does his fund-raising by getting  free publicity on all the cable channels and scaring the bejesus (scuse the pun) out of everybody by telling them they had better get right with the Lord and send money right now.

Every Rapture Date comes with the same old characters who have been predicting the end of the world for years, and a few new profits prophets join in every year. For some odd reason, Evangelicals tend to forget that these same people were wrong the last time(s) and they still go on believing these con artists are legitimate. Talk about Blind Faith. Considering that the Bible they claim to Know has made it exceedingly clear that you cannot know the date, this repeated ability to rile up the Believers is mind-boggling on its best day.

Mother-In-Law not pictured? Sorry!

Well, I hope you’re ready. If not, you had best hurry up!  There’s not much time! May 21, 2011 is This Year’s Date.

So if you have anything on your calendar scheduled after the 21st of May, scrap that mission. Don’t be buying those expensive concert tickets ahead of time. No sense of wasting all that money for nothing. Stop paying your mortgage because by the time the bank catches up to you, you’ll be yanked right out of your shoes in the twinkling of an eye.  All the dead will also rise from their graves, thus freeing up valuable land for real estate development.  That’s how those rapture dates go. All of them go that way. All gazillion of them. Now, the fact that the one in 2009 went bust (See, “Have A Happy Rapture Day!“–I’ll bet all those videos and the web site have been removed by now) is no reason for you not to panic and get all freaked out. After all, you can’t have a Rapture Date without freaking out. Where’s the profit in that?

So consider Rapture Day as something similar to the movie Ground Hog Day. It’s going to be the End Of The World. Again. I mean what good is a year without an Rapture/End Of The World Date, hey? I mean how can you possibly be of bad cheer knowing you are going to be yanked right out of your shoes on a given date just about Every Single Year As Far Back As You Can Remember?

But this time it’s Real. Last time it was Real, but not Really Real. This time it’s Really Really Real. Don’t believe me? Well check out this car. I mean who would do this to a perfectly good car if it weren’t Real? It’s great to see a woman get on board with the boyz on this rapture thing. The discrimination among the Rapture predictors has been far too obvious, don’t you think? Until now.

RALEIGH, N.C. — From her Subaru, a car painted as white as the fourth horse of Revelation, Allison Warden proclaims that Jesus Christ shall return May 21.

By her reckoning, the Lord’s return will fall on a springtime Saturday. And if the world weren’t ending, you might find people celebrating other notable highlights of the day: Mr. T’s birthday, Montenegro’s independence or the Red Sox-White Sox game.

But to Warden and hundreds of like-minded Christians, Judgment Day can be calculated precisely by tracing biblical genealogy, or by following history forward 7,000 years from the day Noah shut the door to his ark.

Whoa! Allison must be a blast at parties!

So if May 22 rolls around and you’re still here, wailing and gnashing your teeth, don’t say nobody warned you. Some people are already prepared. They have signed up at  Eternal Earthbound Pets to ensure lifetime care  for their pets after they are swooped up. Wise to the perpetual Rapture dates we suffer through regularly, Eternal Earthbound Pets’ contract is only good for ten years from its effective date. However, if you haven’t signed up by now, remember what your mother told you about the Early Bird? Please note:

Notice of Rate Increase:  Due to the increased activity associated with the May 21, 2011 Rapture prophesy we have increased our service rates for all new contracts submitted as of 1/13/11.  

This May 21 date is a Problem for those End Times people who hang crepe every single year for you to enjoy.  I thought their most recent date was set for October 21, 2011. Which means, when their rapture date hits the streets, Allison Warden’s Day will have already come and gone. So,  since the world will have already ended, there will be nothing to Rapture. Yo, End Times people! You need to have your Rapture secretary get in touch with Allison’s End Of World secretary and work this out right now!

No…..wait……..I see they’ve found a way to cover the bases. No sense of wasting a good Rapture panic. May 21 is “Judgement Day” and October 21 is “Rapture Day”.

For the rest of us: We’ll just re-read Have A Happy Rapture Day!, written on Rapture Day 2009, complete with a running list of Rapture Dates we have been pestered with ever since  Extreme Christianity was embraced by every nutcase who ever lived.

Listen, one more thing: If you get raptured, can I have your stuff?

215 Responses

  1. What real Rapture-expecting Christian would allow their pets to be taken care of by Atheists?? The pets probably wouldn’t get a Christmas stockings or an Easter baskets. Do you think the Catholic pets would be fed meat on Fridays during Lent?? There must be some better solution to this taxing problem.

  2. 4.2 Offshore California

    Good morning!
    LOL

    http://earthquake.usgs.gov/earthquakes/recenteqsus/Maps/US10/32.42.-125.-115.php

  3. Wait a minute— why am I going to the gym this morning if my flabby body is being raptured next month? Maybe I’ll go to IHOP and have one of those breakfasts that clog your arteries and give you all your day’s allotted calories. I’m off, but I’ll never tell to where….

  4. Oh great. Rapture, earthquakes…..as the prez says (and maybe Honora too) “can’t I just eat my waffles?”

  5. By the defiance of here Mobil Unit proclaimation, she sounds like the “Yes, We Can” crowd going to have the last word; “Know!” So, that’s their worldly wise / Bible Foolish forte. This extremist is not unlike a suicide bomber who thinks the promised 21 Virgins would engage in carnal rewards for their Spiritual commitment.

  6. Thanks for the heads up because I have nothing to wear.

    hahahahahahaha

  7. Ok, I went to your previous post on the Rapture(s) and foolishly clicked on the link to the Rapture site with the red and yellow screaming words which then grabbed my computer and would not allow me to go back to the Uppity site. I was afraid that I would have to stay there until we really were Raptured. When I finally shut down and came back to Uppity, I dutifully went back to your previous post on the Rapture(s) but I have to admit that I just scrolled through all those past promised Rapture dates. Does that mean I will or will not be Raptured when it happens?

  8. “the red and yellow screaming words which then grabbed my computer and would not allow me to go back”

    BCL – sounds like you’re a Shoe-in! LOL

  9. So about this Rapture thing- Can we find a way to ensure that Mr G D Amerika Wright- he of the black (christian) liberation bent- and his 20 year parishioners/wh squatters can go? Also their buddy Oprah. Also all obots- after all they DO follow teh one- teh only- teh modern faux nobel prize winning messiah!
    All those in favor!

  10. This Rapture/Judgement obsession is just affirmation of the wisdom of the statement that there is a sucker born every minute.

  11. I am going to hold an auction for my stuff. Winner of the auction can take control of my stuff as soon as I start floating skyward.
    I am starting the bid at 2 bucks. BTW, my stuff comes with one really great dog named Trouble and a collection of all the seasons of West Wing up to and including season 5. You can also have my blue topaz earrings but you have to yank them out of my ears as long as you are willing to do it while I am singing “Nearer my God to Thee” and smiling beatifically as I gaze towards the sky.

  12. If anyone can find any mention or description of the alleged Rapture in either the New or Old Testament, I would love to know where. I’ve hunted in vain, which leads me to believe that the whole thing was in fact made-up by a demented 19th century preacher who was, no doubt, lining his pockets then as now.

  13. Teresainpa, on April 5, 2011 at 10:45 AM
    A really great dog named Trouble? Hmmm how did he get that name.

  14. churl

    one thessalonians chapter 4, verses 13 – 18

    13: But I would not have you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning them which are asleep, that ye sorrow not, even as others which have no hope.
    14: For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so them also which sleep in Jesus will God bring with him.
    15: For this we say unto you by the word of the Lord, that we which are alive and remain unto the coming of the Lord shall not prevent them which are asleep.
    16: For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first:
    17: Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord.
    18: Wherefore comfort one another with these words.

  15. churl I could do hours on that. As the story goes, he was a methodist minister who held a revival in his barn and brought that holy spirit on. He died in jail of cirrhosis of the liver while serving time for sodomy on a young boy. Wish I could remember his name, lost all the information in my dead Dell. Hopefully, he didn’t reincarnate, though.

    Anybody who reads the NT can clearly see that Revelations was tacked on as some kind of afterthought, even after the last words were “It is done”. Or “Finished,” depending on which version you read. Why end on a positive note when you can strike fear in the hearts of the subjects?i have long felt that Revelations was put there to keep people in line, but hey, what do I know?

  16. The thing with the pets bothers me. Who wants to spend eternity without pets? I don’t remember the last time I didn’t have pets. I mean, come on. How can there be peace without pets. Do they have a subdivision where there are just animals? I would be happy to spend eternity feeding and caring for dogs and cats. Hell (scuse the pun), I’ve spent most of my life doing it anyways. Besides, I think you are judged on that. So why would they all be gone for eternity after that?

  17. My understanding of Christians is that since pets can’t accept Jesus Christ, they cannot go to heaven. But hey, that means humans that don’t accept JC can’t go to heaven so maybe we get to be with the pets.

  18. My photographic memory did not fail me. The minister was named Parham

  19. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles_Fox_Parham

  20. I can remember being rapture’d a few times 😆

  21. I can remember being rapture’d a few times

    Boone’s Farm Apple Wine? Or just good sex?

  22. Glad I finally caught you. Thanks for contributing to Bill’s disgusting habit. Paypal has cobwebs on it.

  23. lol, foxyladi.

    churl, the second coming is predicted throughout the bible. Christ mentions his first coming in the new testament many times, once by quoting the old testament mentions of his own coming, I forget where that is in the bible since it has been decades since I went to bible school.

    I did a search and then remembered another bible bit, which is often quoted for the rapture:

    matthew 24:29-31

    29: Immediately after the tribulation of those days shall the sun be darkened, and the moon shall not give her light, and the stars shall fall from heaven, and the powers of the heavens shall be shaken:
    30: And then shall appear the sign of the Son of man in heaven: and then shall all the tribes of the earth mourn, and they shall see the Son of man coming in the clouds of heaven with power and great glory.
    31: And he shall send his angels with a great sound of a trumpet, and they shall gather together his elect from the four winds, from one end of heaven to the other.

    That said, I sure wish we’d be raptured before we have to go until 2016 with the obamination.

  24. Can I get fished out of spammy before the rapture?

  25. BCL, when my son found Trouble on the streets of Miami he thought it would be funny to name a
    Rottweiller, black lab mix a macho name and to say “here comes Trouble”. As it turns out, Trouble probably should have been named Angel or Precious or something. He is the sweetest, most loyal loving dog ever. But he will come to the defense of those he loves…..even the cat who tortures him and scares him on a daily basis.

  26. FOXY! Thank you for your contribution to Bill’s disgusting habit!

    gotta keep him raptured too. 😆

  27. I can remember being rapture’d a few times

    Boone’s Farm Apple Wine? Or just good sex?
    a tad of both if I remember😆

  28. My understanding of Christians is that since pets can’t accept Jesus Christ, they cannot go to heaven. But hey, that means humans that don’t accept JC can’t go to heaven so maybe we get to be with the pets.

    only some Christians . The rest of us think everyone gets to go to heaven and take their pets too.
    Did you ever see the following debate on church signs? It made me laugh.

    http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/none/all-dogs-go-to-heaven-church-sign-debate-funny-512895

  29. Teresainpa
    That sign war is a riot! Boy those Presbyterians are uptight.

  30. I don’t care where dogs go. I’m going with them.

  31. You will all be happy to know that TEPCO is apparently taking lessons from BP- just like oiled fish from the Gulf is safe- now radiation in fish is AOK! It’s all good! No problem! Eat up!
    http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20110405/ap_on_re_as/as_japan_earthquake
    “Japan sets new radiation safety level for seafood

    The new levels coupled with reports that radiation was building up in fish led the government to create an acceptable radiation standard for fish for the first time, and officials said it could change depending on circumstances. Some fish caught Friday off Japan’s coastal waters would have exceeded the new limit.”

    OOPS- this guy must have been watching that pest from Plaquemines Parish!

    “Even if the government says the fish is safe, people won’t want to buy seafood from Fukushima,” said Ichiro Yamagata, a fisherman who used to live within sight of the nuclear plant and has since fled to a shelter in Tokyo.

    “We probably can’t fish there for several years,” he said.”

    Who wants to go first?

  32. Criminy, I just stopped by to see what’s up and now I find out May 21 is Judgment Day!!
    I have a date for the White Sox baseball game the next day. Who do I talk to about changing my tickets – or this upcoming judgment thing??
    I don’t have time for both.

  33. ROLFLMAO Leslie!

  34. So glad that I am an Episcopalian–I don’t believe in all that Kool-Aide drinking stuff. Oh, and for the fundies out there–there are eleven commandments according to my church and the 11th is “Thou shalt mind thine own business.”

  35. I love how they are accepting donations. Uhhh….wouldn’t funding become a little unnecessary in just a bit?

  36. I see Zal has changed his gravatar – from sitting Adonis to walking Adonis. I guess he learned of Uppity’s, um, “butt” fetish.

  37. All I can think of is rapture all the fundies of every religion so the rest of us can live in peace. And Zal, I’m with you – where my dogs and cats are, I will be (although I suspect that Zeke and Milly might be on a different plane altogether).
    BTW, two days ago I was listening to an interview with a protestant minister who has gained a bit of nasty attention because he quotes from the bible to support his contention that animals have souls and will be transported to heave. Nice man, perfectly logical and ready with the quotes. He’s right, in my book.

  38. Rapture , Ravish so long as it is good enough for me to feel the need for several cigarettes afterward that I will pass on or trade for something else it is good. I want that I died and went to heaven feeling afterward or else !!
    Oh we are not talking about sex ? Ok then don’t bother cuz I am not ready to go yet.

  39. Wow sushi that you can eat in the dark because it glows and think how easy it slides down the throat ! I am down for several servings…………………

  40. utah, you are hilarious. Have you gotten settled in?

  41. “Rapture , Ravish so long as it is good enough for me to feel the need for several cigarettes afterward that I will pass on or trade for something else it is good.”

    ROFL!

  42. NES! Shut up about the butt thing, dammit! You’ll ruin my future fun! Now he’s gonna change it.

  43. But dang, Zal, you deleted the cropped closeup of your very good looking face!

  44. BCL Presbyterians never have any fun. Now the Calvanists has it all down pat. All they have to do is congratulate themselves for being born Calvanists and they’re in!

  45. Leslie, perhaps you could email whats her name and ask her if she could move the thing to the 23rd. Personally I hope she says no. I have a dental appointment on the 22nd, but I guess I could just cancel it, since it won’t matter if I piss off a prosthedontist. I won’t be seeing him again anyways.

  46. Katie’s right. WTH do they need money for? I mean it is what it is.

  47. Visual: People being sucked upwards and Utah hanging onto a pole.

  48. ROFLMAO Uppity! Hell- ALL of us hanging on to anything we can grab in an effort to spare ourselves the torture of spending eternity with the religious right!
    Hey- wait- is Newt being “left behind?” Please tell me he got some saving or redemption or whatever it is that will allow him to quit sucking up oxygen here.

  49. Now THIS is a sh*tty way to die- literally
    http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/us_sewage_spill

  50. Mom – from a comment on your link

    “It’s time to start caring for our own crap instead of EVERYONE elses!”

  51. ALL of us hanging on to anything we can grab in an effort to spare ourselves the torture of spending eternity with the religious right!

    ROFL!
    This could reduce the number of registered Republicans exponentially!

  52. Upps, I think our Zel is smarter than that. (Of course if he switches it for a bulge-related gravatar, we won’t be crying in our beerwine.

  53. Zel’s just putting a different ‘face’ on things.

    (In any event, he didn’t delete it…you can see it by hovering over his you-know-what.)

  54. Save a cig for me, utah. Hilarious comment!

  55. Doesn’t Zel look like The NE Preppy from central casting? Yep.
    So, two conclusions: 1) Aunt Upps likes the preppy look; and 2) Mom wouldn’t date Zel (since she goes for the Mtn.-Man-Royalty [from LOTR] look).

  56. Yes it’s true. I like those cerebral men with good hands.

  57. Mom likes those alphas.

  58. Alphas on horses.

  59. Hmm, hands…. Now there’s an idea for a third Zel gravatar.

  60. Speaking of betas on donkeys, see little Baawaaaak try and instigate a guvmint shutdown so he can send a male page out for pizza: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20110405/ap_on_re_us/us_spending_showdown.

  61. Did Teh Won win in Libya yet?? Barack of North Africa or Barack of The Maghreb. HIs titles await him.

  62. Zel, please confirm that your ancestors came here on the Mayflower (or, as they said in my college, “pee’ed blue”).

  63. Off topic–but BO says “let them eat cake.” I love the price tag for the low dollar event,,,,

    http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/nov05election/detail?entry_id=86397&tsp=1

  64. HaHaHa you all are a hoot!

    NES: not the Mayflower but my ancestors did arrive in 1640, just 20 years later.

  65. Alas, I’m only first generation – Zal has me beat big time. BaCK IN My ancesters were trying to survive in merry olde England and Scotland and Spain.

  66. HT : yes I sort of kinda am settled but had to take a small break to run back to Vegas and watch my great grand daughter born . Got a bunch to do here but I am all settled. Settled in as much as tearing it up and making it my way lol. I ripped the kitchen apart last week because I can not fathom how anyone could work in there with that design lol. Got all new appliances and have granite counter tops being laser cut. Dam sink and faucet will set me back a little over $ 600.00 but I had a vision and have to go with it lol.

    NES: Ack you can have all the smokes I just want that feel good feeling.

    UPPS: I am going to hang on to anything cuz according to that picture we are flying and lady I do not fly even in my nightmares.

  67. Uppity @ 4:38:

    Me, I’ll take this anytime.

    http://tinyurl.com/3txlc9o

    Makes me want to check flights to Rio. 😆

  68. There is a Twilight Zone episode where the dog keeps his human from being suckered into going to hell by the sales person for the devil who says he is in charge of getting people into heaven. As I recall, in the end, its explained that the devil and his minions do not allow dogs(animals) on the road to hell becuase animals can detect the brimstone.

    And Noah, had to make far more room on the ark for animals than for humans.

    Maybe would could send Barky and Moo Moo one of the “Congratulations you have just won….”. I think as long as he gets a more impressive title he and the mrs would be gone in a flash.

  69. Utah, terrific. One can’t be happy unless one has the kitchen. Wish I could afford to gut mine, but it ain’t gonna happen, Good for you! And congrats on becoming a great gran. Pictures would be nice!

  70. Have to share this Drudge link with you. The headline is that a man is charge with a misdemeanor for barking at a police dog. When the man was asked why he was barking at the police dog, the man answerer that the dog started it. http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/O/ODD_POLICE_DOG_TEASING?SITE=FLTAM&SECTION=ENTERTAINMENT

    If I was on the jury (I know there are no juries in misdemeanor cases, but just go with me on this one.), I would let the guy walk. I hate yappy dogs. (Note to my next door neighbor.) The police dog instigated it and was asking for it.

  71. Fredster @7:23

    I am so shocked to see that beautiful photo model. I hope I’m wrong, but I think he’s the person in this story from late last week.

    http://tinyurl.com/6z49gw7

  72. Leslie, he looks close but the one in the link is named Fred Laatch, from Rio. His father was a model also. Guess those area really good genes!

  73. did yall see this?

    http://gretawire.blogs.foxnews.com/important-news-from-vp-joe-biden/

  74. Well, I’m glad Laatch is safe. It’s too bad about the other (Eric Zentner), though.

  75. Noveau Mayflower then, Zel. But, heck, you’ll do…we ain’t snobs here.

  76. “You see, Mr. Simpson, a man, well, he’ll walk right into hell with both eyes open, but even the devil can’t fool a dog.”

  77. Don’t give up so easily, HT. Send in a, um, “butt” shot and we’ll decide.

  78. Utah, you’re a real frontierswoman.

  79. There’s nothing “tiny url” about that Fredster! Did UW really link those ExtremeGayBoy shots?

  80. So, does this mean 12/21/2012 is off? I was really looking forward to that one.

  81. Didn’t the congresswoman dump Hill as soon as BO was in the ascendant and then become the biggest Obot? If so, prostitution still pays…no surprise there.

  82. He’s named after you then, Fredster!

  83. So true, Irlanese. And, the proof…no canine voted for Bam.

  84. FF it’s nice the Obama has the time to pick a new leader of the DNC. Was she part of his NCAA bracket?

  85. freedomfairy01, on April 5, 2011 at 9:06 PM
    Did you see that big gray cat photo at that Gretawire link? He is big.

  86. Apparently Ted Strickland was the other candidate. Now, let’s see….IIRC, Ted didn’t swoon over Obama in the end. Debbie did. She put party before country. This makes me mad. She stood with us in DC and at the RBC, and she just “fell in line” after Hillary got the shaft.

    Perhaps a case of keep your friends close, but you enemies closer. If I remember, she and Hil are still close. Maybe Obama is hoping she will be a mole.

    He is really a despicable man

  87. DE – if she was, she wouldn’t have “won”

    BCL – yes!

  88. This is funny. From Political Wire:

    Parody of Obama Launch More Popular
    The National Republican Senatorial Committee’s parody of President Obama’s 2012 campaign launch, released Friday, now has 665,000 views as compared to Obama’s real launch video from yesterday which is at just 168,000 views.

    Ben Smith notes YouTube’s metrics “tend to lag a bit, but the numbers suggest that — energy-wise — we’re in 2010, not 20

  89. This is funny as hell. Listen to the whole thing. Saw this on Big Pink

  90. NES@9:32-Nope, that wasn’t uppity. I go to towelroad for my daily dose of ahem, attractive young men. There’s usually a link to the male model du jour.

    http://www.towleroad.com/

    It’s a very good site for gay-related issues.

  91. (sigh) When I see that Made in Brazil site and the young men, I just think of this:

  92. Well maybe this one will play.

  93. FF – the Donald is so right. The Bush era led to Obama. Jeb if he is as smart as some people say he is, should not run.

  94. NES – one of the things I used to worry about in my youth, was my lack of a bum. I had curves side to side, but my back end was lacking. Today, I’m used to having no bum. BTW, it can get rather painful – sitting on those cocyx bones with little insulation.

  95. Nite all Uppityites. Sweet dreams and don’t let the bedbugs bite.

  96. Lucky you, HT! Please have half mine.

  97. Good on the Donald!

  98. Yep, Debbie did ChiTown! No character.

  99. Putting out an APB on Upps….
    Eating ribs?

  100. Thanks for the intel, Fredster.

    Say, what did you think of the Brian Kinne character on Showtime’s version of Queer As Folk? I thought he was incredibly attractive, looks and otherwise. I’d definitely have lain down for him. He was a walking-talking exuder.

  101. NES! What???? lol I guess you’re bi!

  102. NES: Re-Ingram and the Donald on the b.c.

    After Katrina when my d.l. was expiring, I was able to get the LA d/l renewed online. However, when the *next* expiration came up Baton Rouge said no had to do it in person. I couldn’t drive down from Alabama with the momster in the shape she was in so I said I’d get a d/l from Alabama (I really want *nothing from AL but that’s a different story). Anyway, had to have the b.c to get the license here so I had to order one from Richmond VA vital stats office. When I got it, it was one of those certificate of birth things. Had a seal and stuff but I really wanted a copy of the original just because the parents names and stuff were all filled in by hand. I called vital stats and explained what I wanted and she said “no, we’re not going to digging around in the original documents. What you have is sufficient for what you need.” 😯

    I still would like to have a copy of the original document cuz it was filled out when I was born…but can’t think of a good reason. I don’t think they’ll buy it if I said I was going to run for Prez. 🙄

  103. Oh no, lorac — not anymore anyway.
    The thing with Brian is really a sign of my perversion — I’d have lain down for him but only as a cute gay guy.

  104. You definitely won’t get it if you were running for president. I mean, Bam tried. really tried, and they stiffed him, right?

  105. Anyway lorac, those two lez characters in Queer As Folk were soooo boring. Cute, but booooring. Why can’t lezs enjoy life, as a rule? Is it the female — have to be responsible and serious — thing?? I’m all for more female Brian Kinnes, gay or straight. In fact, I think women should take the WASP-male vow of allegiance to the god of no-apologies/no-excuses.

  106. Fred – I have the type you are speaking about – from Georgia Vital Statistics. Seal and all. A sort of “negative” of the original – hand written (complete with a correction LOL on my birthday – looks like the pen ran out of ink) – parents names and their places of birth, number of other LIVE births by my mom, and stamped “Certified” with a seal. Had to pay for it too! $6.00 or something.

    Or maybe it was over $1,000,000.00 – I can’t remember

  107. FF: yeah, that’s what I wanted! I guess I’m crazy or whatever but with both parents gone now, it’s a link and I wanted it.

    NES: I’d have been a complete slut for Brian Kinne, and also for his cute little bf too! What was funny was as that romance progressed the little blond was the one who was in control over the great Brian!

  108. FF, you wouldn’t have to pay $1,000,000.00 to get a copy of your birth certificate, that’s how much you pay to make sure no one else gets a copy silly!

  109. 7,000 years from the day Noah shut the door to his ark.

    Noah was fed up keping the inn and so slammed the door after he kicked all the occupiers out.

  110. Well, Zal, I have it all over you then. I have ancestry that dates back to the boston tea party. My great great great great great aunt was the last bag to be thrown overboard.

  111. I used to ruch home *when I had a regular job) to watch QAF

    LOVED THAT SHOW – and NES, I’m with you!

  112. I rushed, too

  113. NES@11:15-I knew a lesbian who was kinda like a Brian, I dated her for a bit. 😯 That was before we both fessed up to ourselves who we really were. My mom loved her to death, she was our groomer. 😆

  114. off to bed – tired of typing in the dark! LOL

  115. lorac, NES still appreciates a good looking guy. That doesn’t make her bi, silly. It makes her aware of good looks. She has good taste too. I pick the guys she picks. I do envy bi people though. I often wonder where they find the time.

  116. Fredster, your story about dating that woman reminded me of our place in Florida. We had a neighbor for years who had a son I just adored. He was a big time PR guy in Boston and we would both head down to our parents’ places in winter and spend tons of time together. He was gay and everybody knew it…except his poor mother, who spent years hoping we would get married. It was really both funny and sad, but I loved the lady and so I didn’t mind helping her to fake her dream. The sad part was everyone knew he was gay. He was a terrific guy and I always had a blast when we were both there. We’re friends to this day and she died hoping her son would be married to a nice girl. That was a struggle for him and he still feels badly that she died not getting her wish, but this wasn’t a wish he could grant.

  117. The bi-sexual’s theme song.

  118. I hate to tell you all this, but I didn’t write a thing for tomorrow. Live with it.

  119. Okay I’m making a new rule here. NO MORE GODDAMNED ACRONYMS that everybody doesn’t READILY understand. I found no less than three here in just the last 15 minutes of reading and I am sick and tired of trying to figure out these goddamned acronyms.

  120. Uppity-eventually the momster knew about Karen, and we were friends afterwards for a long time till we just drifted apart as people do sometimes. However I called her when the momster died. She didn’t come to the service but she did sign the online guest book.

    That’s sad that the guy’s mom could not know about him being gay. It might have even helped their relationship.

    Once or twice nurses or someone would make a comment about me being a good son and I’d make a good husband and Peg would just bust out laughing! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

  121. Fredster ~ Of course they wouldn’t buy it if you said you were needed the bc because you were running for President. They’d tell you you didn’t need one – just like TehOne didn’t need it.

    ALL – – – you are the greatest gift to little stressed out moi. I’m heading to bed – I have yet another Wednesday to face tomorrow. . . Wednesdays are tiring, but it beats being one of the millions of uncounted unemployed in this country.

    ‘night all — see you on the 21st.

  122. Where?

  123. QAF. Queer As Folk. anymore?

  124. He was a big time PR

    He was a big time Puerto Rican? Ricky Martin’s mom didn’t know he was gay?

  125. Ok come on Fred, don’t be fucking me over. EVERYBODY knows was a PR guy is.

  126. d/l driver’s license. You didn’t think I meant down low!

  127. Ouch! 😮

  128. So that’s was QAF is. Now let me ask you, do you really think everybody knows that as opposed to a PR guy?

  129. And What the F is IIRC.

    And I had to THINk about d/l. I don’t want to have to FIGURE out what somebody is saying is all I’m saying.

  130. Well if you were attuned to the H.A. you’d know. And after last night you know what the H.A. is. 😉

  131. Excellent on Brian, FF and Fredster. We’re simpatico.

  132. If I Recall Correctly 🙄

    btw: (by the way) imho is in my humble opinion.

    ttfn: ta-ta for now?

  133. Fredster, I really don’t think my friend’s mother would have taken it well. I think she preferred to live in ignorance. You had to know her to understand. They were VERY close though. She adored her son. I’m sure she knew inside but preferred not to hear it. I think it was the right call in her case. We are also talking about years ago, not like it is today.

  134. Yes, Joni said it.

  135. Bring on the lunge whip!

  136. NES poor Uppity is going to be feel oh-pressed by us and it’s her blog!

  137. How about this acronym, Upps: ILU.

  138. Yeah fredster, she wants me to beat up on her. She loves it.

  139. btw and imho are common internet acronyms. ttfn has been around for eons.

  140. Yup I now know what the H.A. is. Unfortunately, it’s not something everybody would easily know. You have to remember that other people are reading this blog not just five people. I figured out d/l but had to think about it.

  141. Chit, you have all the fun discipline, Fredster!

  142. I’m a little black rain cloud………

  143. Hey, I steered clear of QAF. But, beat me anyway.

  144. Uppity-well, you all knew here so that’s possible.

    Shit, when I was first dealing with *things* I used to drive around the block of a couple of bars in the Quarter, not having the nerve to find a parking place and go in. Then one night I said fuck it, found a parking place (no mean feat in the Quarter) and went inside…and promptly asked for directions to some other place in the Quarter, got them and left. 😆

  145. Upps: ILU

    I’m just L-able that way!

  146. I had a world famous migraine today. Can you tell?

  147. Well I was just making sure Upps!

    You have to remember that other people are reading this blog not just five people. I figured out d/l but had to think about it.

    Yes other people are…but we are gay folk are in here surreptitiously taking over.

    Yeah fredster, she wants me to beat up on her. She loves it.

    NES! Why you little kinky thing you!

  148. Ok if this is a mutiny, then I don’t have to worry about writing any longer. You guys will take care of it. Woot!!!

  149. NES like her her uppity Eyetalian girls, Fredster.

  150. Shall we draw and quarter Fredster now?

  151. Here’s sumthin’ to soothe your migraine: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-12969641.
    Lovin’ Sarkozy right now.

  152. (Psssst Fredster…quit while you’re behind.)

  153. NES: Yeah I better. But you know really I just wanted to make Upps our fag hag. 😉

  154. Yeah we can slap him around, sweetie.

    I’m LOVING what Nicky’s doing with these goatfuckers in France. And Angela Merkel is no shrinker either. She has come right out and said this muticulturalism vs assimilation is NOT working out. They are the trailblazers. They refuse to turn into the colonized UK and sharia hasn’t got a prayer with them. It’s time to come out and say it before it’s too late. If people want to live in the 7th century they are welcome to go back to the prehistoric shitholes they escaped from.

    I don’t have a migraine anymore, NES. I’m just coming down and cranky.

  155. Africam is hopping tonight.
    http://www.africam.com/wildlife/tembe_webcam

  156. What a teaser that was Fredster. EMI restricts playback on other than YouTube. But, hey, I have DVD sets for all the seasons of Queer. My favorite of all time has to be the pilot 100-minute episode of the first season. But, the dance sequence your post relates to is also great.

  157. That was more than I needed to see.

  158. NES: I had to watch the whole segment cuz I had no idea what was going to happen and didn’t want to post one of Brian going to the back room. 😉

    Yeah, I had the sets too and I cried watching the last episode (which was kind of contrived). Of course all that shit went under the Katrina flood waters. Those, my first edition Anne Rice books signed, my father’s windup Victrola and a shitload of Edison recordings. Shit, I better stop that, it’s still difficult to think about.

  159. That was more than I needed to see.

    We now return you to your regular hetero programming. 😉

  160. Phew! Good to know!

  161. Jesus! A friend just sent me this link:

    http://www.philly.com/philly/entertainment/20110405_ap_bristolpalinearns262kforteenpregnancywork.html

    I wrote her back and said:

    Oh gag me! Which is what Levi should have done to her and then she wouldn’t have been knocked up!

  162. Oh please, this blog is definitely hitting low rent tonight.

  163. Phew! Good to know!

    WHAT!!

    Fredster mutters “damned breeders”. 😉

  164. Cleanup! Aisle six!

  165. Definitely not G rated. Click.

  166. Normally Lorac trashes the place…

  167. NES: Why can’t lezs enjoy life, as a rule? Is it the female — have to be responsible and serious — thing??

    I never saw that QAF show. Maybe the writers aren’t gay. Or, more to the point, and more likely, maybe they’re not women! I suppose if they’re going to write one-dimensional characters, “serious and responsible” is better than “stupid, blonde, and a floozy”! Multidimensional would be more realistic.

    I’m “bi” – I have a serious responsible side – and sometimes I swing the other way and enjoy life! lol

    Personally, I think gay women are much more like straight women than they are like gay men. Actually, I don’t think they’re like gay men really at all. They just share that society scorns them because of their sexuality. I think that *most* women (nowadays), gay or straight, are strong *and* nurturant. We rock! lol

  168. I sawree. What I think is obscene is Bristol getting a quarter of a mill to tell girls not to do what she did.

  169. Oh, Karen, breaking my heart! I would never mention that you were stealing my food from the fridge AGAIN last night, and that you left all the dirty dishes for me to clean up, and that you didn’t even give the cats any leftovers! I would never do that to YOU, why would you insult me about trashing the blog? ROFL

  170. Fredster, lol, WHO are you calling a breeder?

  171. Last night was gay themed, tonight was religion, then sex, then gay sex….

    HILLARY! Challenge the Fraud!

    I think UW erased something before I got to see it!

  172. Oh! Fredster, I forgot to write that I was responding to NES, when she said she wasn’t bi!

  173. Well, who’d know better. Fact is, in the US, celebrity commands $$$$, and no reason Bristol shouldn’t cash in. Also, let’s not forget that Levi stripped for Playgirl — a less, shall we say, edifying venture.

  174. lorac: QAF was a showtime version of a Brit show by the same name.

    You could be right about gay women, I don’t know that many but when my friend came out she went with the gusto so-to-speak.

  175. Lunge whip time! Too bad mom is sleeping!

  176. Lorac, ma deah, in no conceivable world would you fall into the humourless lez category.

  177. Mom should lend us her lunge whip before she goes to sleep.

  178. Oh okay lorac.

    NES: It seems that’s all the Palin’s seem to know is how to rake in the bucks. How else would she have been in the position to get that quarter mill had John McCain not made his mistake of a choice for veep?

  179. Oh and NES, I got no use for Levi either unless it’s discovered he’s some old guys’ rent boy. 🙂

  180. Fredster, I think it’s a good thing that McCain chose Palin. At least for me, it was nice to see that (not all, but many) republicans would support a female VP candidate.

    This last election was all about the dems tearing down a woman (Hillary and then Palin), but of course forever before that, it was repubs tearing down female candidates (on the dem side, because they didn’t run any of their own). So I was glad to see that some had evolved enough to accept a woman.

  181. Good for the Palins, Fredster. In a world where Bam gets to be prez, you’ll never convince me that the Palins are doing anything wrong. Also, since some people here voted McCain-Palin to counter the horror of an Obama presidency, it’s not much of a Palin-bashing venue.

  182. What lorac said!

  183. We love us our Angela Merkel.

  184. I think when a lot of people come out to themselves, everything is about their sexuality (the gusto!). After awhile, I think most settle down into realizing it’s just one part of their identity.

    On a related note, I gave up on watching gay plays or movies. They were always about coming out. I thought, for heaven’s sake, do these people really think there’s no life after coming out! Make some movies or plays about raising a child, or someone trying to keep their “place” in their church after people know they’re gay, or having a partner in the hospital and not being able to visit them, or being a senior gay person with no children to support them in their old age! Drama, intrigue!

    Anyway, most of life happens *after* coming out, and it seems pretty ignored to me lol

  185. There may be a god after all: http://www.haaretz.com/news/international/we-will-not-allow-another-khomeini-to-take-control-of-egypt-army-says-1.354215.

  186. NES@1:04-I voted for McCain also instead of the Pretender. However I had no illusions that he was going to win.

    The only thing I’ll say about Palin is she’s not a feminist. She, Bachmann, and the others like them are not interested in or concerned about womens’ rights and choice. They are right in there with the repub men who want to redefine rape, do away with abortion and any other choices for women.

    Believe me, I’m not in favor of Obie. I see the 2012 election as lose/lose. No one wins but the oligarchy and the patriarchy.

  187. lorac: How ’bout The Bird Cage? It’s a comedy but…

    Anyway, most of life happens *after* coming out, and it seems pretty ignored to me lol

    How much of life after marriage for straights is made into movies with just their everyday lives? Not much.

  188. I can’t do multi links so I’ll have to do these one at a time.

    http://www.tlavideo.com/gay-nobodys-perfect/p-188166-2

    Shit! My cig went out and trying to relight it I just singed my damned mustache! It stinks!

    And to think; I want to be cremated. 😆

  189. She’s a media figure and has every right to capitalize on it financially. Men have been doing it since forever. just don’t confuse a cult of personality media figure with a president. you can’t be both. We’ve already got one of those.

  190. http://www.tlavideo.com/gay-angels-in-america/p-200417-2

  191. I’m going to bed. I don’t feel good and I’m cranky. Please be adults and don’t make me have to clean up shit in the AM. Remember this is supposed to be a G board. So ease up on the video demonstrations.

  192. You have a mustache? Shave that thing!

    And to think; I want to be cremated

    LOLOLOL.

  193. this was a good flick.

    http://www.tlavideo.com/gay-a-home-at-the-end-of-the-world/p-205317-2

  194. She’s a media figure and has every right to capitalize on it financially.

    She’s that but she wants more and I ain’t buyin.

    You have a mustache? Shave that thing!

    NO! Stuck in the 70s/80s, that’s me. Despite Katrina I did take my paisley shirt when evacuating. Sadly, my jeans from then no longer fit.

    I’m calling it a day also just because I think I’ve overstayed my welcome over the Palin issue.

  195. Nah you haven’t overstayed on that. I don’t even care to mention her. I gave her up the last time she trashed Hillary. Again. And me. You know, us “Radical Feminists”. I ain’t helping her.

  196. Eh, I haven’t slept really great the last couple of nights so maybe tonight a generic Ambien will help things along.

  197. Oh, Fredster, sorry I can’t relate to the characters in Birdcage! I don’t like extremes (butch men, butch lesbians, swishy gay men, or ultra-feminine “oh no I broke my nail! my day is ruined!” straight women). I’m kind of a middle of the road kind of person! 🙂

    And to be a total contrarian tonight lol I think a lot of movies about straights are about “after marriage”. They might not be about the relationship itself, but that’s the point. Sex is great, but there’s more to life than sex! But that’s me – I’m like that with sports, too. I like to play them, but I hate watching them!

  198. Ah lorac (shaking head). How many movies have you seen about a hetero couple that’s *just* about their daily lives There has to be a dramatic or comedic point somewhere or else why is the movie made?

    I’ve already taken the Ambien or I’d try to discuss with you. I used to be that way with extremely feminine men but then realized, that’s just who they are and they are comfortable in that skin. I’m not, but it’s not to say I haven’t done it as a funny thing.

    Oh hell, let me go for tonight so I can be down when the Ambien hits.

    Tomorrow y’all!

  199. lorac! Since you are wide awake, make a post for tomorrow. Make it good. I will be grading.

  200. lol shoot! I wish I could, I’m just going to bed! I have to get up in 6.5 hrs as it is! Shoot! Please give me a rain check! Sorry UW!

  201. How about putting up a great picture of Hillary, and having people write their own scripts for her of what her speech will be when she challenges the Fraud!

  202. ok you have a rain check but it will lower your grade. you’re a good writer, girl. If you think i am not going to shamelessly exploit you, think again.

  203. The Bird Cage is one of the worst movies ever; the original La Cage Aux Folles one of the best. Americans are too uncomfortable with homosexuality to have gotten it right.

    We made strides in the 70s but I think during the 80s in some ways we lost more ground than we’d gained, and now it’s like race issues in America we pretend it’s a problem solved and the pretending itself makes it worse. I mean, the whole post racial meme that came along with Obama was a bunch of crap, a whole lot of whites with issues about race using Obama as proof they had no issues with race. And the gay thing isn’t all that different. A bunch of It Gets Better videos and a crummy tv show like Glee doesn’t mean a whole lot of Americans don’t still think of straight/gay as us/them.

    As for gay movies and such I think it was Edward Albee who said he never wrote a gay play because gay is not a subject for a story. Judging by what I’ve read and seen it seems that generally speaking he’s right. Not that it’s not hot seeing Colin Farrell kiss a guy but that’s porn not a story.

    My two cents.

  204. I’m sure Hillary and Wasserman Schultz are friendly now, that’s how Hillary rolls, but I can’t forgive her and I’m not remotely surprised she’s heading the DNC now. That’s how the DNC rolls.

  205. And what’s Wasserman Schultz’s position on the 9/11 conspirators now to be tried in a military tribunal at Gitmo? Back in 2006 and 2008, like all progressive Democrats, she knew it was wrong and blasted BushCheney for it; gee I wonder if she’ll flip flop on that principled position now that Obama has. She defended his RomneyCare II and went along with Obama extending tax cuts for the wealthy that she’d rightly attacked when they were Bush’s.

  206. Not that it’s not hot seeing Colin Farrell kiss a guy but that’s porn not a story.

    So you would say that any film that had to males kissing would be porn, even if it was a kiss at the end of a date or before going to sleep?

    I wanted to use la Cage but couldn’t find the TLA link to that one.

  207. So you would say that any film that had to males kissing would be porn, even if it was a kiss at the end of a date or before going to sleep?

    I didn’t say that and I wouldn’t say that.

  208. Obama wants to make sure he has the proper DNC leader just in case he has to cheat to win again.

  209. sorry but I’m closing this thread because I know Fredster and the entire argument will dominate the board for days, drowning everything else out, until I lose my temper.🙂

  210. Debbie being appointed to DNC helps Barack The Pig further reduce the number of wimminz in congress. It’s as simple as that. Get what few left there are out of there so we can finally put these broads back where they belong.

  211. Wait, wait, is Zal a gay Adonis?

  212. Count on the cheating, Upps.

  213. Gay and accounted for.

  214. Whoa! Break UW’s heart why doncha?!

  215. Figures. I can’t get ahead.

    Oops I forgot to close this thread before it dominates the whole blog again.

    MODS. Honor it.

Comments are closed.