Go here and Incorporate your uterus, ladies.
If you call your uterus a corporation, government won’t bother you. In fact, they will probably deregulate you and leave you alone. So just go do it!
It all started when Florida Rep Scott Randolph (D-Uterus) said the obscene word “Uterus” in front of all of Florida’s God and Vagina-Fearing Republicans.
No kidding. You can’t make this shit up.
Randolph, 37, got the idea from his wife.
If she would incorporate her uterus, she said one night over dinner, maybe Republicans would drop 18 anti-abortion measures they are considering during the legislative session.
Republicans, after all, are against regulations for businesses.
“It’s easy to practice an ideology of convenience,” he said. “If my wife incorporated her uterus, you all would say hands off. If my friends incorporated their bedroom, you’d say hands off. But now we’re standing here and we’re saying we’re going to increase regulation on a specific type of membership organization. And that’s unions.”
That’s when all uterine hell broke loose and Randolph was told that was a terrible word to utter on the floor because there were young pages in the room –(presumably none of those pages has a uterus, considering this bunch).
In order to ensure a badly needed diversion from his uncomfortably true remarks regarding corporations vs. humans, Randolph was immediately reprimanded with grand fanfare by the Republican leadership, who told him that “inappropriate language” was a breach of decorum (it is as, Randolph pointed out, a sad commentary on the state of sex education in Florida if “uterus” constitutes “inappropriate language,” but that’s a conversation for another day).
Pssst. Florida Republican leaders: I just want to say that I’m really glad things are going so well with Florida’s economy, housing and jobs that you have all this free time to ponder and regulate our inappropriate uteruses. Really. We really appreciate witnessing your Godly minds in the gutter, seriously.
Now, come closer. I want to say something to you.
It won’t make your heads explode. Nothing dirty or “inappropriate”….
Ooops. I lied. Aw Geeze. It was too much for them. I’m such an obscene pig!
Maintenance1! Cleanup! Aisle six! Somebody said the U-word!
Why didn’t somebody explain to these creatures, if it weren’t for a uterus, none of them would be here?