That Filthy, disgusting and obscene U-Word.

Quick!

Go here and Incorporate your uterus, ladies. 

If you call your uterus a corporation, government won’t bother you. In fact, they will probably deregulate you and leave you alone. So just go do it!

It all started when Florida Rep Scott Randolph (D-Uterus) said the obscene word “Uterus” in front of all of Florida’s God and Vagina-Fearing Republicans.

 No kidding. You can’t make this shit up.

Randolph, 37, got the idea from his wife.

If she would incorporate her uterus, she said one night over dinner, maybe Republicans would drop 18 anti-abortion measures they are considering during the legislative session.

Republicans, after all, are against regulations for businesses.

…snip…

“It’s easy to practice an ideology of convenience,” he said. “If my wife incorporated her uterus, you all would say hands off. If my friends incorporated their bedroom, you’d say hands off. But now we’re standing here and we’re saying we’re going to increase regulation on a specific type of membership organization. And that’s unions.”

Uterus. Bad Word!

That’s when all uterine hell broke loose and Randolph was told that was a terrible word to utter on the floor because there were young pages in the room –(presumably none of those pages has a uterus, considering this bunch). 

In order to ensure a badly needed diversion from his uncomfortably true remarks regarding corporations vs. humans, Randolph was immediately reprimanded  with grand fanfare by the Republican leadership, who told him that “inappropriate language” was a breach of decorum (it is as, Randolph pointed out, a sad commentary on the state of sex education in Florida if “uterus” constitutes “inappropriate language,” but that’s a conversation for another day).

Pssst. Florida Republican leaders: I just want to say that I’m really glad things are going so well with Florida’s economy, housing and jobs that you have all this free time to ponder and regulate our inappropriate uteruses. Really. We really appreciate  witnessing your Godly minds in the gutter, seriously.

Now, come closer. I want to say something to you.

Trust me.

It won’t make your heads explode. Nothing dirty or “inappropriate”….

Listen carefully:

.

.

Uterus!

Uterus!!!

Uterus!!!

Ooops. I lied. Aw Geeze. It was too much for them. I’m such an obscene pig!

Maintenance1! Cleanup! Aisle six!  Somebody said the U-word!

Why didn’t somebody explain to these creatures, if it weren’t for a uterus, none of them would be here?

135 Responses

  1. KIDNEY!

    i’m so naughty

  2. Dang Jay! Now you done gone and caused another cleanup in Aisle 9!

  3. The Florida Legislature is SOOOOOOO BAD. Apparently they now are trying to put a program in place where you “Pay Leadership” to get your bill through.

    They really are out of control up there.

    ______________

    In unrelated news, saw this headline too. No need to read the story. The visual is all you need to create Smellivision in your mind.

    “Larry King Hawking Breath Mints Now”

    ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

  4. I’m surprised Larry didn’t get a job almost instantly as the Letter “C” on Sesame Street.

  5. I went to the ACLU site and was surprised to see that they protect women’s civil rights only if the women are African American, Lesbian or have reproductive choice issues. The rest of us are on our own. Good thing there is no discrimination against women out there.

  6. Teresa, rewrite your comment re: Poor Obama in the actual post thread. you wrote it after clicking on Hillary’s photo and it will not show up on the thread. It’s all by itself under the photo.

  7. FOLKS…when you click on a photo in a post and write a comment, your comment will forever disappear. It will never show up in the thread but will be a lonely comment in the picture ‘Thread” which is no thread at all, but merely an area to comment on the picture. You guys do that a lot.

  8. okay UW. It’s early here at my house.

  9. Do dried up no longer viable uterii count? They should- after all- the banks were losing a ton of money and they counted to the tune of a gazillion tax payer dollars!

  10. LOL teresa, it always happens when there’s a spectacular photo everyone wants. they click on it all excited and forget they aren’t at the post thread any longer. I actually did it myself once….

  11. Why should the ALCU be any different, Honora. It’s run by men too. Truth is, the dirty truth is out. Now we know why the ERA got their shorts all in a bunch.

  12. Okay Mom. Here’s the dirty truth. If they can’t rape you and impregnate you, and then make sure you give birth to their demon spawn –or if they can’t say to you “Let’s take a chance”…which really means, Let’s YOU take a chance…and then leave you with their little problem –and if they can’t force you to drop out of school and have that sweet, innocent life that will starve to death because you can’t support it, you bloodsucker, you — and if they can’t beat the crap out of your body by making you have as many of their spawns as possible (but only the ones that keep their last name–important!)–then you are of no use. So once that U word isn’t dropping valuable eggs with their important last names attached to them, you can just go ahead and die. Got it? Good. Now fetch me a beer!

  13. If NOW had any usefulness, they would stop being a bunch of Dhimmis and start screaming for the completion of the passage of the ERA. But then, that means more work than just doing press releases and pretending only Republicans are pigs.

  14. BEER?!?!?! Oh I see- you were speaking from the point of view of the slugs.
    Cuz I know it’s Chivas for you!

  15. Good morning (((UPPITY’S))))

    This morning’s thread makes me shake my head.

    UTERUS !!!!—I’m real tired this morning, so I’m going to refrain from even responsding to these FUCKING MORONS–I’m so pissed that nothing good can come out of my mouth

  16. Doesn’t the ACLU have anything better to do?

  17. Nancy Pelosi in her own words.

    ie – Americans are stupid

    http://tinyurl.com/3hwzqke

  18. You know, I thought I had heard about everything ridiculous yesterday. Incorporate your uterus, and then the “show and tell breast implants to 9 year olds” in elementary school on Career Day topped my day.

    When did public acts of insanity become okay?

  19. When did public acts of insanity become okay?

    2008

  20. gotta go work – bbl

  21. ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE!!

    Didn’t have any effect. Pols in both parties hear and use it so often. But the dread U-word? Shudder.

  22. FF if you are still here, you prolly want to cancel that sidebar. You are right. Congress is already privatized.

  23. Yes nancy thinks we are all stupid. Look how well that worked out for her. She’s just pissed that she lost her personal plane for trips to Europe, which she seems to visit a lot.

  24. Why didn’t somebody explain to these creatures, if it weren’t for a uterus, none of them would be here?
    *****************************
    It’s a female body part therefore it is icky.

  25. Icky

    Yes, BCL icky. roflmao I visualize a lot of contorted faces (the elementary school squish) to go along with that word.

  26. Now I REALLY have to go

    West-Coasters – beware today

    http://earthquake.usgs.gov/earthquakes/recenteqsww/Maps/region/N_America.php

  27. Sorry FF, but if you weren’t here the last time we got insulted, attacked and abused by her, including taking the time to write a personal post calling us (and then changing the title to just mean me), stupid (yup I’m stupid), a killer and maimer who eats her own, you would understand why that video is a no go.

  28. S’ok Uppity – I have no idea who she is

  29. I’ll refresh your memory later. Abusive bullies are not welcome here. Go to work!

  30. Send money!

  31. I incorporated…then my husband reminded me that I no longer have a uterus. Whoops!

  32. Anyone have any e-mail addresses for the Repubs in florida? I’m ready to start sending one word e-mails to them all – repeatedly!

    UTERUS!!!!

  33. I still have a uterus – never thought I would find out that it was filthy and obscene, I always regarded it as just another body part. Hmmmm, does that mean my vagina is also filthy and obscene? Are breasts the only female body part that is acceptable in polite society? Got those too, but I fear gravity has kicked in – comes with age.

  34. HAHA marsha. It’s the florida house where uterus created head explosions, due to the need to detour the subject. The guy with the plastic hair and face is the leader.
    http://www.leg.state.fl.us/Welcome/index.cfm?CFID=202977047&CFTOKEN=28271928

  35. well you can incorporate your former uterus!

  36. 7.4 earthquake in Japan today. Tsunami warning is out for Japan. Fox News

  37. Jeebus, BCL very bad news. Those poor Japanese people.

  38. I can’t believe it. Another EQ. My God, those poor people.

  39. Trump now tied for second place with huckabee.

  40. A second 7.4 earthquake was reported near the first one near Japan. I think it’s the end of the world in Japan.

  41. Aw God, they issued another tsunami warning too.
    http://www.npr.org/blogs/thetwo-way/2011/04/07/135206725/7-4-earthquake-rattles-japan-tsunami-warning-issued

  42. I incorporated mine as 501 (c) (3) faith-based organization.

  43. Correction: USGS is on Fox correcting the earthquake report to one 7.1 aftershock since it was relatively in the same area as the original one.

  44. la-t-da
    That’s better since you don’t have to pay taxes. Of course, corporations don’t pay taxes either.

  45. la, i have a lot of faith in your uterus.

  46. La – faith based? Now that is really funny! My uterus believes in freedom for females – would that qualify as faith based?

  47. Just had a thought, why can we not establish a religion and Church – of the Uterus? Think about the possibilities – tax free, hate laws kick in – could be a win-win (to quote the Covey-Cow)

  48. You know the saying, HT, “Faith without works of freedom is dead”. Or something like that. Amen. The uterus.organ.org has spoken.

  49. Her trip to the promise land might be hard but she has seen the mountain top and will get there one day. Oh, and you can make donations, tithes, one tenth of your annual earnings, to my uterus at the above website. Hats, t-shirts, and bumper stickers are also available with a minimal donation of 5.00 or less. Thank you.

  50. Was that poll taken before or after it was disclosed that Trump had sent Pelosi a note congratulating her on her elevation to speaker back in ’04 and telling her she was “the best.” That may cause some Tea Party’ers to think less of him. The Dona
    Donald had a great response as to why he sent that note, but the TPs may not forgive him. So ridiculous.

  51. Hilarious, la ti da.

  52. That’s huuuge for an after-shock. Can’t stand what’s happening to the poor Japanese.

  53. Heck that’s no aftershock. That’s a new EQ all by itself.

  54. So can we incorporate ovaries and vaginas? Or are they subsidiary corporations?

  55. Oh My….ROFL!

    Washington (CNN) – Self-proclaimed birther Donald Trump is now so doubtful of President Obama’s birthplace that he’s sent a team of his own investigators to Hawaii in hopes of getting to the bottom of the issue.

    That’s according to Trump himself, who, in an interview with NBC, warned his investigators just might uncover “one of the greatest cons in the history of politics and beyond.”

    “I have people that have been studying it and they cannot believe what they’re finding,” Trump said an interview that aired Thursday Morning.

  56. TP’s rank him first now, NES. Wait till he doesn’t say Jesus enough and they will change their minds. Trump was a Hillary supporter though. I’m sure Pelosi is the same disappointment for him as she was for us. I cried when she got installed and here, a few short years later, I realize she kicked that ladder right out from under her.

  57. la…”I’m a Uterus and I vote!”.

  58. HT, Dan Brown wrote about what is essentially a Church of the Uterus (DaVinci Code), not to give away the plot-line or any thing. Of course there’s no evidence of that, but that’s why it’s a novel, not history.

  59. 6.5 in Mexico as well.
    http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/ap_on_re_la_am_ca/lt_mexico_earthquake

  60. Odd that Trump is so going out on such a limb.

  61. La,

  62. NES: not really, he’s probably bored
    he is Hilarious, and SMART

    We could have alot worse then him for President.

  63. NES, I read the DaVinci code. Of course there’s no evidence of any female presence – the male establishment in the churches saw to that.

  64. Uppity, uterus.org will give you a % of the proceeds for the use of that bumper sticker.

    PMM, in this current political climate, seems men have made the ovaries and vagina money-laundering organizations.

    That’s funny, NES. Scott Randolph’s wife is part of a group that started a Facebook page regarding all this. She said women should create a secret organization called the “Uterati”.

  65. Agreed Michelina. I think Trump would be a vast improvement over the inept golfer currently occupying the Oval.

    The only thing I find distressing about Trump as prez is his stated belief that the US should take control of the Iraqi oil fields. That’s just silly arrogance and something he’ll have to walk back if he wins the Oval.

  66. Any baseball fans on this board? I’m currently sitting in court about to hear closing arguments in the Barry Bonds perjury trial. I’m rooting for the defense — the prosecution went overboard in bringing a criminal case here, and I don’t believe the high burden of proof was met.

    Reportedly, Bonds is not a well-liked fellow, but that doesn’t mean he should go to jail.

  67. Michelina, how are you doing? My Milly and Zeke say woof and meow – means hello.

  68. No question, the Church distorted and fatally diminished the role of women, including, but not limited to, Mary Magdalena. But, there’s no evidence that Magdalena’s uterus carried Jesus’ offspring. Hard to believe that, if it were true, no contemporaries of Jesus or Magdalena noted a pregnancy or a child.

  69. Great post, Upps.

  70. NES, how’s the court going? I find it difficult to believe in anything Dan Brown writes – it’s fiction. AT the same time, difficult to believe in the legendary accounts of a messiah. Just me, and I don’t make any claims to the contrary.

  71. If I’m not using my to-be incorporated uterus do I have to pay corporate taxes????

  72. Don’t worry, NES, you’ll have lots of writeoffs to reduce those taxes – medicine to reduce pain and cramps, pads, tampons, contractor expenses (doctors) etc. If GE doesn’t pay any taxes, why should our uterii?

  73. It’s going well, HT.

  74. HT- ROFLMAO! “Operating expenses” write them right off the top!
    Hey- if the uterii should become “occupied” do we charge rent?

  75. Mom, you are priceless – I never thought about charging rent. However, now you’ve brought it into the discussion, that leaves even more room for tax writeoffs. IN addition, once the uterii are beyond rental status, we could investigate the write off possibilities. Depreciation is also a consideration vis a vis tax status.

  76. If the R’s can take over the uteri by eminent domain there should be compensation!

  77. Excellent points, HT. You’re qualified to be a tax acct. or a tax lawyer.

  78. Oh yes, rent. Does one have to serve an eviction notice before evicting the ‘renter’?

  79. NES, once upon a time I was a budget coordinator for a half billion dollar department (that would be per year) Both capital and expense. It’s been awhile, but I still remember some of the stuff I had to okay and investigate, despite the oncoming dementia. Tax exemptions – you betcha – as a single mom, I never got one but the corporations get a multitude of write offs, so if they can, then Uterii Inc should as well.

  80. At the very least they should be required to take out and pay for a long-term leasehold interest.

  81. Actually my commie uterus might reorganization and form a Co-op and get out of the corporatist rat race. We could then own our “means of production”. “Uteri of the World Unite!”. We need a Uteri Manifesto.

  82. And what happens if the renter breaks the lease? Is there a credit check for renters? If not we need one.

  83. Actually, la, we need a security deposit up front, so every male who wants to have an intimate relationship, needs to cough up a security deposit before the actual act takes place. I wish I had thought of that before I gave birth to the gruesome twosome. I would have had the start of a university fund. Mind you, I with the help of my aunt did come up with a fund, but the XY component contributed nothing.

  84. Impressive, HT.

  85. I can hear Donna Brazilnut’s old refrain – there will be blood.

    groan. ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

  86. Here we go — NATO strikes kill rebels: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-12997181.

  87. What is this uterus you speak of?

  88. Hi HT: doing OK–sorry took so long to get back,
    busy today

    ((((HUGS))))) to Milly, Zeke,

  89. can’t tell the good guys from the bad guys that high up.they all look like ants🙂

  90. Michelina, Milly is sending ((hugs))) right back atcha. Zeke is busily plotting how he can get to your place from mine. He’s been unsuccessful in killing me so he thinks he needs a new slave.

  91. So I assume, given the idiocy and misogyny of the situation, that one can say the anatomically correct word “penis” and its attendant slang nicknames, and nobody will blink. Amirite? Ya? Morons.

    [b]O/T to Uppity[/b]: To answer your question about not having fires = good, here’s the scoop. If there’s a lot of rain and the summer looks like it’s going to be a damp one, the powers that be will yank funding and therefore kill seasonal staffing on fire resources on the Forests. This is fine until a high pressure system camps out and dries everything to a tinder, or later in the year in So Cal when the Santa Anas come in, and lo and behold there are no engines staffed, no hotshot crews manned, no helicopters or tankers staffed, because the money was yanked at the beginning of the season; ergo, nobody to fight the fires. Also, no manning on the forests, no projects such as roads and trails and stand thinning don’t get done, which is the non-fire duties of the fire folks. Make sense?

    Back to your regularly scheduled facepalming.

  92. HT: I I have a 90lb Rot & my puppy davey there.

    I don’t think Zeke would be very happy with me, unless he wants the dogs as slaves.

    If he doesn’t mind, I don’t

  93. ((((uppityville))))

    gotta go, see y’all tomorrow

  94. NATO strikes kill rebels

    Right after we spend our first billion, there will be the US flag burnings.

  95. la, personally I think any woman who doesn’t do a credit check and a few other checks on a renter is a fool.

  96. Mom anybody who wants to come here and eminant domain my uterus is going to only achieve it after I empty my clip and my dog has a snack.

  97. NES, regarding your unused uterus. If you want to keep it in Like New condition, it is still an asset and as such, you receive no special deductions.

    And re: Your sitting in the Bonds case court. I am not a sports fan unless I can play. But I AM a NES fan.

  98. Uterus! Tried a long time ago to get the ob/gyn to turn me into a racing model. alas- I had to do the whole drying up thing au natural.

  99. gotta go cook – bbl

    BUT – westcoasters and MY FRIENDS IN THE CARIBBEAN – heads up

    http://earthquake.usgs.gov/earthquakes/recenteqsww/Maps/region/N_America.php

  100. Awww, UW, XO.

  101. I had to retire my Uterus when I was thirty. It had more than done it’s duty having carried two very large boy babies.
    Now it sits around on the porch of the Old Uterus home bragging about ten and a half pound babies with heads like bowling balls.
    I would visit it sometimes but the doctors wouldn’t tell me where they placed it. =)

  102. speaking of clips… UW, what are you packing?

  103. UW packs H.E.A.T.

  104. Hilarious on the retirement home quip, Teresa.

  105. So – not one single comment since NES @ 6:37. Well – it must be either American Idol, DWTS, or (and most likely) many of you have tried to connect with your uteri on Facebook.

    Damned disgusting,

  106. Agreed. I got tired of checking in and seeing nuth’ but moi.

  107. I don’t go on FB – but I’m watching really old episodes of CSI – the ones with William Petersen. He is one man that could make me reconsider involvement with men.

  108. Whoa HT, so much for your much vaunted vow of celibacy.

  109. Hey, I haven’t given it up 20 years and counting, but an old lady can dream can’t she?

  110. HT – all this uterus talk made you frisky. he he.

    I thought I was over the hill once, but a hot guy convinced me I was just warming up.

  111. please watch this clip:

    and this one too:
    http://johnwsmart.wordpress.com/2011/04/06/morning-viewing/

  112. At least plug that he’s going to be on your show!

  113. karen, hilarious. Hope you kept warming up.

  114. DE and John, is he really going to be on the show? That should be one very interesting interview!

  115. WOW John! He rocks!

  116. Watched the first vid this morning. The part about the Tea Party struck me as odd but the parts about BO and Hill were spot on. I remember seeing other vids of his during round one of the match.

    That second vid is interesting BUT “she ain’t gonna do it” and that seems written in stone. The media says 2016 but she doesn’t seem to want that even.

    If she hints that she might I’m there. Ready to use all my vacation time off to travel wherever she needs people, etc. We’re battle scared and ready for the showdown. only she’s the heavyweight in politics and he’s still a lightweight.

  117. Rolls eyes and wonders what the heck is next. Maybe the government should shut down it might kill two birds with one stone. Save money and stop this dumb shit.

  118. @la-t-da

    I incorporated mine as 501 (c) (3) faith-based organization.

    ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  119. Indeed she an, HT. Carry on, pal.

  120. Wow that guy was great in that video. Interesting advice too. Problem is, we will see a rerun of 2008 if we aren’t careful. That is, fragmented “groups” of people with a Leader, all of them bumping into one another and never really coming together under one umbrella. What was lacking in 2008 was a leader of notable substance. I mean someone famous. We still lack that. What we also lacked was the inability to weed out people who think they are leaders running rogue. FF and I were talking about that. In any event, I don’t want to see us used by the media again like they did in 2008. Face it, they want to use Hillary for their ratings and I trust the whole lot of them as far as I can throw a baby elephant. Then too, is Hillary serious about not running again or not. She’s a very savvy person when it comes to these things. She’s going to do what she thinks she should do regardless of what anyone else thinks. Basically, her supporters need to follow her lead in order to avoid another unnecessary dog and pony show at the hands of creeply crawly media people. For my part, I would follow her lead. I really don’t think anybody can make Hillary do or not do anything. She’s far too strategic herself to expect anything else.

  121. $4.14 for gas. I’ll probably be seeing that soon enough too. Nice job Barack. All that’s left is the gas lines and the Jimmy Carter malaise circle will be complete.

  122. Sounds like *somebody* has an uppity uterus.

  123. Someone on His44 linked to a Celebrity Apprentice episode on the computer, so I’m watching it. Gary Bussey is on it. I think he fried a lot of brain cells in his past. Plus, I think he wasn’t raised with parents, because he doesn’t seem to know how to brush his hair lol

    La Toya Jackson is on there. She has a WEIRD personality, and she apparently doesn’t like women too much. But what I really want to know is – what the F happened to her FACE? She had to have gone to the same problematic plastic surgeon as Michael did. IMO, she is NOT an attractive person. Her face is all pinched up, like Michael’s was. And they put her in charge of a project, and she must be really creative, because guess what she came up with – something with her brother Michael’s face on it (!). That must have taken a lot of thought lol

  124. Okaaaaaayyyyy….. Meatloaf is on there, too, and he apparently has some kind of mental disorder. I’m surprised we haven’t heard of any DV cases connected to him….

  125. Randolph was told that was a terrible word to utter on the floor because there were young pages in the room

    Goodness! The man has obviously never been on a grade school playground in his life, for the language uttered there is far more vivid.

    The gif was spot on, UW.

  126. Lorac

    I think he wasn’t raised with parents, because he doesn’t seem to know how to brush his hair

    Maybe he had too many tangles.

  127. tsk. What is a DV case?

  128. I don’t think Hillary will run unless BO steps down. I’m rooting for The Donald on this one. I don’t want him as POTUS, but if he can uncover dirt on The Precious with all of his billions, I’m all for it. I’d love to see Barry giving his final salute while boarding Marine Force 1 for the last time….adios Barack!

  129. Here’s that guy’s other video on Hillary, addressing Hillary Clinton Fans.

  130. You got that right, imust.

  131. UW – DV = domestic violence

  132. UW, what are you packing?

    Glock.

  133. got a new post up lorac.

  134. UW, I have been looking at a Glock 26 to carry for self protection but finally decided to carry a Sig 232 for the bigger grip which in my case makes me more accurate.
    I support the right of every woman to carry a gun for self defense. I also encourage anyone who has a gun to take a class and learn how to use it. People are always surprised at how much a little bit of education helps a persons confidence and ability to defend his/herself.

  135. Teresain always carry a second loaded clip.

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