Is…is it over?

C…C…Can I come out now?

I survived!

I survived this year’s first Rapture Date! Unfortunately, the psycho Jesus Freak who lives across the road is still here too. And my one remaining evangelical friend is truly bummed out. He gave away all his porn DVDs and now he has to start all over again. He is really sulking now, because he swears some of those films were Classics. He’s a Republican. You can automatically know this because, if he were a Democrat, he would have known he wasn’t going anywhere and would have never let go of that vintage copy of Talk Dirty To Me.

So now I am stuck here with my carry-up bag and a crapload of peanut butter crackers I packed for the trip. And 24 Dramamines. I even bought new underwear because my mother was really big on that thing about not landing in the hospital half-dead with old underwear. I figured it applied to Raptures too.

I didn’t pay the mortgage or my Bank Of America credit card and now I have a penalty and they will probably raise the rate to 30%.

I spent three days eating everything that wasn’t good for my weight or health and now I feel like crap.

I had wild unprotected sex a whole bunch of times and now Mr. Uppity thinks we should do that all the time. This probably occurred because I threw off all those layers of clothing I was wearing because I didn’t want to get cold at 15,000 feet. I figured, screw this, if they are going to take me, they are going to have to take me naked. Apparently, Mr. U took this literally. Should I get pregnant, I already have a name picked out: Surprise. Or perhaps Miracle would be more appropriate.

I didn’t do any laundry and now it’s all staring at me. And besides that, I paid those G’Damned atheists up front to look after my pets for eternity, and now here they are, all furry and staring at me, wondering when I am going to feed them.

I told off three people who could have really hurt me if there weren’t going to be a Rapture and now I am just waiting for the other shoe to drop.

WP Warden and her Holy Subaru.

So, tell me, who do I sue for this Rapture Bullcrap?

I mean my life is so screwed up now that I may just have to turn to God or something. I can’t go after the nutbag who started all of this because all she’s got is that fugly Subaru with the Rapture crap painted all over it. In the words of my late mother, never sue somebody who has less than you do-especially if it appears that they only have three cans left in their mental six-pack.

I suppose I should consider myself lucky compared to some people. For example, this congenital moron spent down his life savings ahead of May 21. I do hope he hasn’t reproduced. And here’s a smarmy guy, civil engineer, turned Rapturist, who did some math for the suckers believers and made a boatload of money. Mr. Camping even had a radio show all about yesterday’s End Of  The World, properly named “Family Radio” so as to ensure endearing himself to all those  gullible “Family Values” people. I’m not sure where he is right now, but one thing’s for sure, he’s living well. Nice work, suckers!

Here’s Mr. Camping’s “math”. No kidding. You can’t make this shit up.

“Christ hung on the cross April 1, 33 A.D.,” he began. “Now go to April 1 of 2011 A.D., and that’s 1,978 years.”

Camping then multiplied 1,978 by 365.2422 days – the number of days in each solar year, not to be confused with a calendar year.

Next, Camping noted that April 1 to May 21 encompasses 51 days. Add 51 to the sum of previous multiplication total, and it equals 722,500.

Camping realized that (5 x 10 x 17) x (5 x 10 x 17) = 722,500.

Or put into words: (Atonement x Completeness x Heaven), squared.

“Five times 10 times 17 is telling you a story,” Camping said. “It’s the story from the time Christ made payment for your sins until you’re completely saved.

I’m rolling my eyes here.

Ah well, at least I’m still alive, right?  And nobody got a dime from me! Because I don’t care what all these freaks say, death is wayyyyyyyyyyyyy over-rated. And you don’t get DoOvers! I know for a fact that all those evangelicals agree, too, because, for all their talk about wanting to go be with Jesus, just as soon as they get sick enough to notice that God might be taking them up on their wish, they fight like maniacs not to go. No kidding. They will let doctors poke, prod and ingest toxins into their bodies just to STAY HERE.

I do want you all to know that  I wouldn’t have let you down if I had been raptured. I already figured out how to blog to you during and after Rapture. I planned to steal some dumbbell’s bandwidth. I figured this is why God gave wireless to morons on unprotected networks.

Okay, now we have to go mow the lawn because we didn’t bother yesterday. Bummer. But at least we’re here.

When I read imust’s suggestion about Live Blogging the Rapture, I thought, Oh Man! Why didn’t I think of that? But now that the idea has been surreptitiously planted into my head, I will get the chance to do that on the next Rapture Date. And if we know one thing for sure it’s that,  like death and taxes, Another Rapture Date is always a certainty.

But more importantly, I see that you all Survived The Rapture too. Because if you went and I didn’t, why the hell would I bother writing more blog posts? The interesting things is, nobody I know got Raptured. Perhaps this is an indicator of my bad taste in friends or something.

Real Christian doing God's Work

……But if everybody from Uppityville is still here too, just remember….it’s Sunday.

…..This means all the End Times crazies are in church right now planning that next rapture date, because enjoying life and having a positive thought process is just a bummer for these people.

It’s just so good to know that the same moronic superstitious crazy-asses who fall for this rapture crap every damned year — are going to use their same impeccable discernment skills to pick the next Republican candidate for President.

Meanwhile here’s the perfect song for EVERY SINGLE BULLSHITTING RAPTURE PREDICTOR since time began. You are all FULL OF SHIT and should be SUCKED DOWN BODILY INTO HELL WITHOUT EVEN DYING FIRST.


89 Responses

  1. Good girls go to Heaven, but I’ll be spending eternity in the same place all the bad girls are going.

  2. I’m really bummed out. I was hoping to pick up a couple of nice abandoned cars.

  3. Yeah jay. A nice bmw roadster would have worked wonders.

  4. Uppity, you remain awesome in your un-rapturedness!

  5. ditto what Pamela typed.

  6. Soo happy that I was not raptured. My peonies, literally, bloomed overnight. It is sunny and the birds are chirping, it is going to be a beautiful day. You are all welcome to a FEW peonies, but save some for me.

  7. Welcome home, Uppity.

    When you threw that empty wine bottle down it hit Mitch in the head and knocked some sense into him…the little weasel:

    Now if you could only go back with a case load (or two) and keep throwing….

  8. Beautiful sunny Sunday morning after the nonRapture. Glad Uppityikes are still here. I’m going for some high cholesterol Sunday brunch.

  9. I got abducted by aliens. It wasn’t as permanent as rapture related abductions are. Eternity is a long time, my little jaunt only took a few hours.

  10. BCL you have my permission to eat all the wrong thiigs.

    Anybody else in weather migraine hell besides me? The barometer is my worst enemy of all time.

  11. Poor Mitch. He’s a klutz in addition to being a bore. He’s perfect.

  12. Pamela it would have been HELL without you guys.

  13. that’s why we come here every day to spread the sunshine around 🙂

  14. The rapture stuff was worth it because of these posts – it turned into a fun party because of UP. I actually think that is the only way Ican survive the future–lmaorotf.

    For a minute with the middle east speech at the State dept. and all of the betrayals and Last Illusions, my life became very dark, very sad.

    But then i started reading the rapture party posts and UP’s clean underwear and hair dryer and deodorant and today Mr U’s proclivities. Bill’s posts about dumping us all if his needs were not met–then someone got hit by a wine bottle and someone ran out to see everyone’s clean underwear on the way up.

    You are all so funny and smart in a good way. My life would be crap without you all.

  15. A post rapture song, just for the heck of it.

  16. Now you see, Green. It’s comments like yours that keep me going, and inspire me to be even funnier. Not to mention I have to keep up with some VERY funny readers!

  17. Rut Roh. Check out the header. What’s he up to?

  18. OMG Bill is Raptured?

  19. Hmmm, I don’t think Bill is raptured, but it looks like he’s being tormented by a raptured Felix the Cat?

  20. imust, how old is her ‘mother’ that her only choices were “teacher or nurse”. Was her mother pre second wave because second wavers swept up and didn’t sto with graduation.they are all retired or nearing it but they didn’t settle for ‘nurse or teacher” that’s for sure. So I am just wondering what she’s talking about, unless her mother had her rather late.

    In any event, it’s true. The thrid wave screwed themselves and their own children on so many levels, it’s pathetic.

  21. I second the “No F’ing idea” part, Somebody. About a lot of things. In fact, MOST things. He’s clearly not very worldly or smart. And he has a major organ missing, called the heart.

  22. Green, I am more apt to think bill is up there reading the riot act. Notice everybody else left.

  23. PLEASE NOTE. I edited this post with a little song for every rapture bullshitter now and in the future.

  24. So true about the third wave screwing themselves and their children. All my discussions with my daughter (and I had her at a late age) were carbon copies of my mother’s discussions with me. She was the end of first wave, I was second wave – daughter is feeling the brunt of the third wave’s general inability to drag themselves away from fatuous self congratulation and celebrity/pop culture and get beyond their own personal positions to see where the female sex as a whole is, and how they once progressed somewhat, but have now regressed.

  25. Simmons was born in Israel. The members of KISS lived in Queens. We knew them before they wore makeup. The Bayside and Flushing areas had tons of talent. Madonna went to school with friends of mine. Al Kooper lived nearby. Tons of other people who never made it huge but had tons of talent too.

    The music community there was also very political and we all still love our music and still pay attention.

    And yes, he has no heart and he hasn’t got a clue.

  26. from that 3rd wavers speech:

    ‘ Studies have shown—and yes, I kind of like studies—that success and likeability are positively correlated for men and negatively correlated for women. This means that as men get more successful and powerful, both men and women like them better. As women get more powerful and successful, everyone, including women, likes them less.

    Ya think?

  27. i think his parents or grandparents were in the holocaust someway –in one of his shows he went back to see the Ann Frank house – and did it to educate his children. He was crying – i was crying –it makes this rapture crap pretty disgusting when you think of their selection criteria.

    more bad weather in the Midwest

  28. Green, you’re not alone – more rain here – 12 days with a handful of hours of sun – forest fires raging uncontrollably in the west, cold on the east coast, really bad flooding in the midwest. It’s bizarre. This weekend is traditionaly our okay to plant – no more frost. Guess they didn’t count on constant rain.

  29. Midwest bad weather? Like Uppity, my sinuses are a barometer and the flocking weather changes from high to low pressure constantly= Imagine what this does to anyone with pressure headaches. Wait til we turn the AC on full blast.

  30. Uppity
    may I suggest MAYHAM for a name if you get a bonus from your rapture actitivies.

    My daughter can not have any more children. When she needed an operation recently they called her the night before and told her they could not operate as she was pregnant. Knowing that was impossible, my son-in-law said if a kid arrived the kid had to be named MAYHAM from the insurance commercial.
    When she had her second child 16years ago he said she should have twins so they could be named Harley and Davidson because that was the only Harley Davidson he was ever going to get.



  31. Hal, I kid you not – walked out into my tiny postage stamp of a yard and tried to recognize the buzzing sound – I was wearing a sweater, it was approximately 62 degrees (all my windows open) and my neighbour had turned on his air conditioning. Glad I don’t have his electric bill.

  32. I am so thankful that you did not get Raptured Away, Uppity. No telling what kind of Internet connections Heaven has — most wireless company exec’s may end up at the other place.

    I am annoyed by Sheryl Sandberg’s speech on so many levels. First this:
    “Thirty years is plenty of time for those graduates to have gotten to the top of their industries, but we are nowhere close to 50% of the jobs at the top.”

    Notice by mentioning that she graduated only 20 years ago, she excludes herself from this group and thus from responsibility. 30 years is more 2d wave than 3d wave and we of the 2d wave worked very hard indeed. Yes, we are nowhere near 50% of top management in 30 years — because we had to work very hard to make substantial headway against strongly entrenched discrimination and kept bumping our heads against the glass ceiling.

    So she blames those who went before her and dumps the responsibility to those behind her. How convenient. But she is in a position of power and has by my estimate at least another 22 years to keep on making a difference — assuming she has made any at all other than speeches. I wonder how many young women she has mentored and coached.

    And does she really think women are not at the top because of an ambition deficit or because we don’t think we are awesome?

    She has no idea.


  33. Good grief, HT! HA….62 degrees and the moron runs the AC? It’s like the kid’s used to do when opening the windows “to let fresh air in” and it was still fr-fur-freezing c-c-cold at nnnight. J-j-jaysus!!

  34. HT

    also MY weekend to plant if my hands and arms were not dysfunctional due to cat attack. BUT the owners were ready and willing to plant for me and now i get tornadoes, wind and wildness.


  35. Um, Hal. I’m one of those people who cracks the window in winter.

    I shall plan your punishment.

  36. Hal, I’m not kidding. I do not have central air due to allergies so never think about it. I do have portable air conditioners that I run about three weeks total. Today I go out to breathe in the fresh air, and my idiot neighbour has already turned on his central air. Funniest thing, he’s from the Phillipines where the heat is much more intense than here. One would have thought he’d be immune to 62 degree temperatures.

    djmm – agree wholeheartedly. I cannot recall how many women over my career got to their place from whatever means then mealymouthed how women should be more of a force in business and politics – but their actions were more audible than their words. Mentoring was a waste of time, cause they had places to go and important people to see. One other observation – women who actually got into positions of power (and they were few and far between) were much harder on women who could possibly challenge them for their position than they were on men.

  37. djmm – well said!

  38. HT: One other observation – women who actually got into positions of power (and they were few and far between) were much harder on women who could possibly challenge them for their position than they were on men.

    HT, good observation. Not to excuse their behavior, but I imagine they were aware that they were filling some kind of quota, so in a way the upcoming women were more of a threat than the upcoming men…?

  39. dj, just think, if the execs went to hell, then the internet would be free. And let’s face it, there’s always a moron out there who has a wireless network he doesn’t know ho to secure.

    Yep, typical third waver, it’s so much easier to blame somebody else while you party, and then expect the generation before you do DO SOMETHING ABOUt IT FOR ME. Unfortunately, they raised their kids the same way, so their punishment is coming. They’ll all be trying to dig up their grandmothers to fix the things they let slide. THere is no lack of ambition. It’s the presence of entitlement that is at play. That and taking for granted what you didn’t work for, what was handed to you, and being stupid enough to imagine forces wouldn’t whittle away at those rights and take them away while you do your nails and shop.

  40. Helen, I won’t be dwelling on names. Age aside, we both got snipped years ago. That’s called Not Taking Any Chances.

  41. LOL Votermom!

    I think some IQ’s got shaved along the genetic lines, because you have to be one dumb shit to imagine that you can sexy yourself up and bat your eyelashes when you are being objectified and then snap your fingers and expect the world of dicks to take you seriously professionally the next day. They act like you just hop over a line because somebody else who came before you busted her ass to open some doors for you, which you slammed shut by allowing yourself to be treated like an object in the media and in your life.

    You know what my advice is to these idiots? It’s nothing 50000 of you with torches and pitchforks on the Capitol steps couldn’t fix. And don’t expect those of us who already did it for you to do it again for you. Sorry, break a nail!

  42. lorac, I have so many real life situations that I could recount over my 45 year career, it would make your hair turn white and resistant to hair dye. I had several male mentors, believe it or not, but only one female mentor. One woman I worked for told me that I had to have more of a presence in the company – she was in bed with a much higher up, so I guess she thought she was giving me good advice. Another woman I worked for was a VP – and this was a major multinational company. That woman got her position through the President, who left his wife for her – draw your own conclusions. The woman was vile to female subordinates, treating them as one would servants, but gushing to the male subordinates – to the extent that many of my male counterparts on my project teams would comment about her obvious bias. these are not the only stories and it’s not just the one corporation. Life’s a bitch and then you die – for women in the corporate culture.

    And I’m tired of young women blaming everything on everyone else, rather than looking in a bleeping mirror that has been stamped with “The BUCK STOPS HERE”

  43. Body language expert discusses the adult and the adolescent.

  44. Uppity= “I shall plan your punishment.”

    Sigh….yep, tell JO, except SHE’s one of those who opens the window a crack in winter, too….of course, the window in on my side of the bed.

    Alrighty, then, move the bed you say, except then it is right over a furnace vent where the central AC blasts away. Move it again? Worn out from all the moving. May have just enough energy left to manage one more arrangement.

  45. ROFL! Hilarious post, Upps! Have greatly enjoyed rapture weekend. Glad to see that MKB is back, hope he enjoyed floating around in his Felix balloon.

    Funny post about Gene Simmons. I see him and his family a lot around town. He looks petrified in real life. Also, enjoyed the body language vid. I noticed that bark looked really strange and stiff when I watched this a couple of days ago.

  46. Hey Green, how are you feeling?

  47. HT – I hope you know I wouldn’t have been one of those women sleeping with the men to get ahead of you – and not just because I respect you lol

  48. Lorac, you’re hilarious. Back in the early 80’s I worked in an office and one of my best buddies decided that a luncheon with wine was the time to come out of the closet. I had no clue what she meant, and my other best buddie told me she’s explain later. After I insisted on explanations right there and then, my response was – so what’s the big deal – you love a woman. Later I found out that every woman and man in the department was gay, and again, what’s the big deal? Never could figure it out – all of those wonderful people had relationships that lasted longer than my hetero forays.

  49. Spent 7 days in hospital and felt they discharged me too soon –needed 4 more days on the drip. Took my last pain pill this afternoon and cant get more till i see doc tomorrow –just woke up to a tornado outside –darkness -wind–thunder–rain — ran to find all the cats and kept tripping over things not in their place–WTF?????

  50. Green, that’s not good. Take care of yourself and let the cats fend for themselves for a day. Cats are good at that. Please be careful. Surely your Doctor will extend your perscription, so harass him.

  51. very sincere thanks for the excellent advice on that day some other time i will tell you how the advice i received here saved me.

  52. Green, what’s the word on the infection? Is it cleared? Because that’s your first worry.

    To be honest, I never mess with a cat of Unknown temperament without heeavy work gloves. Definitely wouldn’t intercede bare handed in a fight. I DO know that cat scratches hurt A LOT and of course, any animal bite hurts big time. Infection is always a HUGE worry, especially withou outdoor animals.

    Would love to know which advice saved you. It might save someone else as well.

  53. Best cat fight breaker upper: Super Soaker squirt gun. lol.

  54. Green, hope you’re feeling better soon. Glad you went to hospital! Take care! Weird about the weather. We’re having a cloudy, cold drizzly May here in so cal. Usually May is pretty warm and sunny, we get June gloom, fog in early part of day. But for May, its odd, its been dark here all day.

  55. We just “raptured” a pack rat from our backyard. I cried.

  56. Back to the rapture…cannot believe that nuts crazy calculations? Where does he come up with the April 1st business? They used a different calendar back then, I think a lunar one. And the other “calculations”, did he just pull this stuff out of his rear? Ridiculous. It looks like he’s in hiding:

  57. Standing Ovation fo FF for her brilliant doomsday headers!

  58. Uppity, so true – never mess with a cat that you don’t know and even one who you do know who is paniced. My neighbour – who is cat lover extraordinaire got involved when I was trying to corral a cat for the humane society pickup. Poor thing had been hanging around for days. I was wearing gloves and protective gear – good thing to do with cats. My neighbour insisted she could handle it – animals love her doncha know – the cat clamped on to her arm – feet and teeth simaultaneously. For a cat lover, she didn’t know much about cats. That cat bit through almost to the bone on her arm and I had to pry the devil away from her flesh. And of course, because cats who have been running around loose pick up nasties, my neighbour got very sick. Never approach a feral or semi feral or any cat without protective gear.

  59. get wound to doc -stat -wont get better -make up story – but get to doctor -more serious than you think–when i swelled up the tenant said we are going to emergency and i did not argue remembering what you said. found out i had fever, infected, would have died, cat bites more dangerous then i thought.

    this was a surprise attack on me as i was associated with the backyard pride where the tom could not go–i did not know he was intact.

    His human pride mates had started to sit in the backyard with me and my cats –the Tom saw his man and worse, the child petting members of my pride.

    The intact tom could only watch at the window. I am surprised he did not kill us all. when i brought them some food he recognized me and i guess my magic was right behind me , i am so glad he did not get magic.

  60. Good to know, thanks HT. I’ve only owned 4 cats in my life, hubbie is allergic. One of my cats was a fab Mann Island Manx with one vivid blue eye and one vivid green eye. It was awesome looking and a very nice cat.

  61. now the Tom is fixed and vaccinated and the renters and i have had the come to geezus moment about not fixing your cat and lying about it. This is dangerous. No i still have the infection –they use up your Medicare and supplement–then they take you off the drip, ready or not.

  62. Green, your experience is not unique – Cats and all animals carry germs that are not good for humans. Get to your doctor tomorrow (today’s sunday and we all know about doctor’s hours) and insist that your medication is checked – is it working, have you enough – you know the drill – go for it girl.

    socal, I have four cats, courtesy of my daughter – who left the house and left them behind. Not that I mind, but laker better get educated – you make it, you own it (not that it did any good in my case, but you never now, it might work in yours) I have grown to be very fond of my cats, and as I’m very concerned with all of our animal cousins, I keep a very close eye on what is happening around here. I’ve rescued so many urchins you would not believe. One was a purebred siamese and they are very costly. Unfortunately she had to be euthanized she was so sick.
    Seriously, any animal who is running loose – cats or dogs or whatever, have to be approached with extreme caution. Had to corral a Siberian huskie once – he was not happy. I love animals, but approach them all with extreme caution. One of my rules when walking Milly – anyone approaches, particularly children I lecture – hold your hand out, palm down below the dog’s head – let the dog smell you. I cannot tell you how many times the parents have asked why I do that.

  63. I FOUND IT –there is much more from all of you.

    1. lorac, on May 11, 2011 at 9:52 PM said:
    green – you can see your bones through the bites? Maybe you need to see the doctor…. Maybe they have to debride and close it up for you. You really don’t want to have to mess with infections!
    Does your job/insurance have an AskANurse phone number?
    lorac, on May 11, 2011 at 11:13 PM said:
    But Green – you actually know this cat, is that right? I thought he was being frisky, not rabid….? Not a cat that bit and ran, but a cat you’ve seen around for a long time….
    Even if you had to exactly say who the cat is, how much does it cost to buy the shots and license and any penalties? Is it so exhorbitant?
    Greenconsciousness, on May 14, 2011 at 2:21 PM said:
    i am in Mercy hospital in Janesville room 2134b-Lorac was right-;my renters insisted and brought me to ER Thursday night -ER admitted me—now they brought the computer FROM HOME. Infection is raging but hey, i am getting morphine injections

  64. Green, thanks to lorac, you are on the road to recovery. Just get better and STAT.

  65. 3 cheers for lorac!! Well done!

  66. I have done real mccoy cat rescue for decades and have only been really bitten once. And that was from my own cat who was hanging out in a paper bag one day when I backed up to the bottom of the bag, which was on it’s side. he took it as a moving thing to attack and bit my calf. And believe me, I never forgot it. VERY painful. And their scratches are no day at the beach either. Major stinging. You learn how to not make that stuff happen once you really know cats. It would have to be a major psycho not to be able to figure a cat out. Green, just curious. Is this Tom a long hair? I ask that because it if was a shorthair it’s pretty easy to know if it is really neutered or not. The boys are pretty clearly displayed.

  67. lorac saves the day again. She deserves a bunch of pengys for all she does.

    This whole Israel thing has me still steaming mad. I expected it, hell, we all predicted it long ago. The thing that gets me is how the obots didn’t see it and many of them still don’t or they just brush aside everything wrong with this fool. The way he is sitting there acting like the petulant little fool that he is – it is so obvious he is out of his element and doesn’t suit the job and will never grow into it. He gave Hillary and McCain the scratch the face with the middle finger treatment – I will not be surprised if he does that to a foreign leader someday. He is so ignorant.

  68. Around here if you were bitten by an outdoor cat or dog, or anything without a proven rabies shot, the cat would have to be quarantined for, I think, 30 days for observation. And you would undergo the shots. An unidentifyable animal, domestic or otherwise would be put down and beheaded and tested. So this dumb shit A Holes who let their animals run loose without rabies tags can cause them death that way. People just make me sick.

  69. Ok I have a question for you vegetarians. Is it possible to eat too much fruit? Because if it is possible, I do it. Some yahoo remarked about it to me and implied that too much fruit is not that good for you, although she couldn’t exactly tell me why.

  70. The only thing about too much fruit would be too much sugar. Fruit has sugar, fiber and nutrients. I have to watch my blood sugar, so have to watch fruit, grains, desserts, etc.

  71. UW – I’m not sure about the fruit. But there are people called fruitarians – that’s all they eat, I think. I don’t know much about them, though – ie, if anyone actually does it for very long in reality – or what may have been found (medically) from their experiences.

  72. Oh, Karen, imust, HT, shucks. Sometimes it just seems “better safe than sorry”, and I didn’t like the idea of green risking her health to protect the neighbors from having to pay for something they should have done in the first place! (fixing and licensing the cat)

  73. oh my gosh – the header changed again!

    Are those the crackers UW took up to heaven with her? So, apparently she was hitting people down here on the head with those, too, not just the empty wine bottle! That peanut butter probably got stuck on someone’s hair!

  74. Green, I am so sorry for your experience. I have rescued more than one feral cat. Truly being bitten is no fun!! One can feel it in one’s bones! Best wishes for a full recovery!

    Lorac and HT, good point about some women who, when they have made it a little way up the ladder bend down to saw off the rungs just below them. I call it the queen bee syndrome or “there can be only one” syndrome. I am not sure if it is based on jealousy or what but it is very sad. I do not see it so much with men. And such women do not know what they are missing! I love to mentor (both men and women) and love to see people I have mentored go on to have fantastic careers.


  75. lorac, look at Bill. He looks pissed that his rapture weekend in the balloon is over.

    Kudos to you for encouraging Green to go! I hope she goes back to her Dr. tomorrow.

  76. can’t wait for doc sweating all night -medical profession —you know that cat is fluffy but i never would look at his genitalia or any cats genitalia –Just realized i would think that rude. How stupid and old fashioned can one dumb woman be?

    I only met him once before the incident and never even thought to look at his balls. In fact I just get this whole realization about how stupid i am. Do not protect myself enough. Thank you Uppity and everyone.

  77. socalannie is right about fruit -sugar calories –but that sugar is good for you as opposed to processed sugar –sort of like unprocessed olive oil compared to processed corn oil.

    It is good for you Uppity – make it organic

  78. the header OMG the header!!!!!

  79. Well I’m no Fruitarian, that’s for sure. I just like fruit. No, not processed fruit. Just fruit. i eat a lot of it. I grew up eating a lot of it. We always had fruit, so to me, it’s something I like. We didn’t have much candy in the house, so I am not a candy eater. I guess you learn these things at home sometimes. Usually I have a huge bowl of all kinds of fruit cut up with berries and it doesn’t last long, and at night we always “do fruit”. lol. Sometimes I mix yogurt in too. I just thought it odd that someone would warn me about fruit of all things, like you will OD on some vitamin from eating too much and should grab a bag of chips. hahahaha.

    Socal, fortunately, I don’t have a blood sugar problem. I have always thought that keeping the weight at normal levels is the best way around that though. Most diabetes is caused by being overweight, if it isn’t genetic. I had a grandmother who had juvenile diabetes, so it’s something I pay huge attention to.

  80. I DO hope Bill isn’t bringing all those peanut butter crackers home!

  81. Hilarious, Freedom Fairy!

  82. Green, I’ll bet that cat was vertically spraying all over the property. Intact males have the worst smelling pee on this earth, second only to skunk spray. It’s an odor you do not forget and it’s hard to get rid of too. That fight you got in the middle of was a male cat’s testosterone and territorial behavior at it’s worst. Not to mention all the babies he was going to make for people like me to cry over when we pick them up starving and dying. Neutering will change that cat’s disposition, but it might not stop him from spraying if he’s in the habit. But it won’t be as pungent. If the cat has sprayed you will need to santitize where he’s been so he doesn’t get stimulated by the smell to continue with the habit. Never met an intact male who didn’t spray. Any rugs are carpet are truly a lost cause because it gets on the pad and the floor. Very hard to eliminate the temptation. While he’s healing, it’s time for the black light I told you about.

  83. This whole Israel thing has me still steaming mad. I expected it, hell, we all predicted it long ago. The thing that gets me is how the obots didn’t see it and many of them still don’t or they just brush aside everything wrong with this fool.

    Like their hateful leader, many of the obots HATE JEWS. Just read their comments on boards at at youtube videos to get the flavor of their evil hatred and desire for a halocaust again, along with full denial of the first one.

  84. uppity. there were people in ’08 who likened bo to Hitler or Castro and how the people didn’t pay any mind to what the charismatic person really wanted to do. On some Hillary boards people posted a link to the half-baked Rev. Manning sermon from ’08 about how bo will toss the jews under the bus, betray them for the pakistani’s to give up osama! Holy Chit, it made me go hmmmmmmmm. Not exactly the deal, perhaps, but it COULD be the way it happened.

    geezeus. i have to run or i’d find the link on youtube… it is manning, israel osama obama… ack…. getting my haircut just like PMM and FF did….

    it is very, very long and i’m going to start with about 6 inches or so they can snip off today. YIKES!

    I will feel bald.

  85. karen, plenty of us knew what he was.

    But please don’t post that nutbag manning here. He gives me the creeps. That’s the problem with nut cases. Sometimes they are right but who can sort them out?

  86. Greenconsciousness, what a horrible medical ordeal you’ve been, and are, going through. I am so sorry. I am an “Alley Cat Ally, a big believer in TNR (trap, neuter, release), and I hate that this happened to you. Of course, my very-indoor cats get my other TNR–Tenderly Nurtured Rotten!

    I’m a vegetarian, UW, but could never be vegan because the dairy products would have to be pried from my cold, dead hands. Re fruit, it’s lovely and healthful, and definitely not worrisome even in quantity. Go for it!

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