Besides the fact that they look 15 years old, they have a problem looking you in the eye, love to wear their macho caps way down over their eyes, can often be seen wearing the “Respect My Authoritah” mirrored dark glasses – and it does seem that the thing they do most and best is screw around with their prowl car dash computer.
They seem to completely lack the compassion and empathy gene and, when you see them interacting, it’s hard to tell who the victim is and who the perp is. They treat them the same — with alternating disinterest and disdain. Many of them still live with their mothers and you get the sense that if there were real trouble, they would arrive late at the scene so as to ensure their own safety. Writing up a report really seems to annoy them. It’s not a pretty security picture.
But today I’m here to tell you that we may actually be lucky they aren’t out looking to play hero-cop with a gun. For if they did, their reports would surely include something like this:
He’s big isn’t he?
He is also on private property.
Kansas City police put two bullets in his head.
Oh, and did I tell you he’s made of concrete?
Independence police had received a call from a man saying his son had spotted a gator in a creek. Police hit the scene and, with the go-ahead from the Missouri Conservation Department, attempted to put down the gator. The TV station reported that after two shots, the officers realized that they were dealing with a fake gator.
“The officer fired two rounds, and killed my concrete, ornamental alligator,” Sheridan told Fox 4.
I know the people of Independence feel much safer today knowing that their police department is on Alligator duty.
On the other hand, at least they showed up.