When I was a kid, I loved those puzzles where they had two seemingly identical photos side-by-side and you had to find what was missing from one of them. Still, being a digit head even then, I often wondered how come they didn’t ask me to find the things that were ADDED to one of them. But I digress. I can do that. It’s my blog.
Okay let’s take a look at two scenarios and ask How Many Things Can You Find Wrong With This Picture?
A Congressman posts a shot of his dick (or some facsimile) in his shorts on the internet.
His responsibilities include running the country and using his judgment to make laws that affect 300 million people.
He lies about the photo and says he was hacked. Then, slightly remembering that he posted worse things on the interwebs, he “Comes Clean” and admits his lie.
Then a shot of his mediocre and rather crooked dick, which he imagines is remarkable, appears, which suggests 1) an injury at a young age or some really weird genetic thing or 2) this guy is a serious pig who trolls the internet looking for somebody to help him keep in touch with himself from his well-appointed office paid for by taxpayers.
Result: He is still a Congressman. And he gets to decide if he stays or goes. Obviously, he’s just misunderstood and this is no big deal. It’s no indicator that a lawmaker has poor judgment, can distinguish between “Big” things and. “Not SoBig” things, or is a pig or anything. Poor guy. Boyz will be boyz!
Miss USA sneaks out one night without permission to party in Vegas. She lies about it.
She’s Miss USA. Her responsibilities include making appearances and representing thin, good-looking USA women.
According to Fox News, current titleholder Rima Fakih broke rules of conduct when she was suspected of sneaking out to party all night last week — and then lied about it. The Miss Universe Organization, which rules over its winners with an iron fist, requested security tapes to judge whether a cover-up was in play.
“We usually like to keep a handle on them,” Shugart tells Fox. “We have talent managers to keep track, and they are supposed to tell us when they go out.
No kidding. You can’t make this shit up.
Result: This woman is obviously a whore or something. It’s a good thing she surrenders her crown this month anyways or she surely would be in deep shit and a panel would convene immediately to decide whether she should keep it.
Seems fair, right?
After all, a Miss USA having bad judgment and going out and partying without permission could have devastating effects on the country and pose serious questions about her mental state and judgment, unlike if a Congressman mails photos of his erect penis to strangers and tells women he would like to choke them with Little Anthony.
I for one am glad we understand what’s important, and I know you are too!