How many things can you find wrong with this picture?

When I was a kid, I loved those puzzles where they had two seemingly identical photos side-by-side and you had to find what was missing from one of them. Still, being a digit head even then, I often wondered how come they didn’t ask me to find the things that were ADDED to one of them. But I digress. I can do that. It’s my blog.

Okay let’s take a look at two scenarios and ask How Many Things Can You Find Wrong With This Picture?

Scenario #1.

Hands out erection photos. No big deal.

A Congressman posts a shot of his dick (or some facsimile) in his shorts on the internet. 

His responsibilities include running the country and using his judgment to make laws that affect 300 million people.

He lies about the photo and says he was hacked. Then, slightly remembering that he posted worse things on the interwebs, he “Comes Clean” and admits his lie.

Then a shot of his mediocre and rather crooked dick, which he imagines is remarkable, appears, which suggests 1) an injury at a young age or some really weird genetic thing or 2) this guy is a serious pig who trolls the internet looking for somebody to help him keep in touch with himself from his well-appointed office paid for by taxpayers.

Result: He is still a Congressman. And he gets to decide if he stays or goes. Obviously, he’s just misunderstood and this is no big deal. It’s no indicator that a lawmaker has poor judgment, can distinguish between “Big” things and. “Not SoBig” things,  or is a pig or anything. Poor guy. Boyz will be boyz!

Scenario #2.

Left her room without permission. Very bad.

Miss USA sneaks out one night without permission to party in Vegas. She lies about it.

She’s Miss USA. Her responsibilities include making appearances and representing thin, good-looking USA women.

According to Fox News, current titleholder Rima Fakih broke rules of conduct when she was suspected of sneaking out to party all night last week — and then lied about it. The Miss Universe Organization, which rules over its winners with an iron fist, requested security tapes to judge whether a cover-up was in play.


“We usually like to keep a handle on them,” Shugart tells Fox. “We have talent managers to keep track, and they are supposed to tell us when they go out.

No kidding. You can’t make this shit up.

Result: This woman is obviously a whore or something. It’s a good thing she surrenders her crown this month anyways or she surely would be in deep shit and a panel would convene immediately to decide whether she should keep it.

Seems fair, right?

After all, a Miss USA having bad judgment and going out and partying without permission could have devastating effects on the country and pose serious questions about her mental state and judgment, unlike if a Congressman  mails photos of his erect penis to strangers and tells women he would like to choke them with Little Anthony.

I for one am glad we understand what’s important, and I know you are too!

h/t imustprotest.


60 Responses

  1. And right after this the Washington Post and the NYT are asking help from their readers to comb through Palin’s emails that were just released during the time she was governor. You’re right. You can’t make this shit up. (No demand to see the emails of Obama while he was Senator, of course.)

  2. well there ya go.we should switch and then she could stay and he would go 🙂

  3. Partying without permission. Quelle horreur! I was hoping you would address this really important issue and do the compare and contrast. You don’t disappoint, Uppity!

  4. Scenario #2 – she wears her crown on her head
    Scenario #1- he wears his crown much lower down.

  5. There seems to be something in our society that says this is the year for men to make it clear to all the wimmenz of the world that the only thing they really care about is their sausages. That and lawding it over the wimmenz everywhere.

    It wasn’t as prevalent until 2008. It was the bros before hoes and the public bashing of Hillary (cankles, cleavage, iron my shirt, it cries) that made these pigs get all wee wee’d up.

  6. Oddly enough that woman looks like his wife.

  7. The 2008 primaries not only made misogyny acceptable, it was encouraged.
    This is the result of it.

  8. Hey is NOW still around? Just asking.

  9. And right after this the Washington Post and the NYT are asking help from their readers to comb through Palin’s emails that were just released during the time she was governor.

    gumsnapper, not just WaPo & NYT, but even The Guardian is begging for help to “trawl” through her emails. They have a twitter account set up to get juicy stuff: @gdnpalin … iI hope they get an earful of tweets from Americans on what they think of them piling on a US citizen who, afaik, has yet to set foot on their country.

  10. Well, Weiner has decided to “stick it out” and let his constituents decide, much to my chagrin

    My opinion? I think his greatest challenge is his delusion. An elected official tweets his (tiny) junk, and expects to be forgiven for this breach? He should step down just for being stupid

  11. Yah Anthony!

    Memo to Weiner:

    Don’t tweet
    If you ain’t got the meat.

  12. Debbie W-S does controversy:

    Or are the critics just being sexist?

  13. He should step down just for being stupid

    You would think his constituents would understand that paying him $158,000 p/yr to be stupid makes them look not too bright either.

  14. Whoa! Inspired by lorac’s Wednesday piece, no doubt.

  15. Mcnorman, come Monday, when he returns to DC, his stripped down d*ck will merit him stripped-of-committee-leadership status.

    Reportedly, WJC is p*ssed Weiner won’t resign. Does he really have standing on this point?

  16. Shoot, I heard Bill Clinton is really pissed about him not resigning as well. He has to leave. If he doesn’t, he won’t have a district anyway from what I hear. The redistricting takes him out of the loop.

  17. Ahahahahahaha holden weiner is just perfect NES.

  18. Wish I’d made that web ad, mcnorman!

  19. uw: PumaPac is back up

  20. YAYYYYYYYYYYYY Murphy! Everybody please go over there and tell Murphy Uppity sent you to tell her she better not ever to that again!

  21. Did you see the headline in the NY Post on Weiner?

    “I’ll Stick It Out”

    I don’t have the link, but it was their front cover.

  22. ROFLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL on HOLDEN WEINER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  23. Let me see if I can get that to display. I should REALLY put this up!

  24. I put it up! Hilarious!!!

  25. Hmmmmmmm what smells so goooooood. Why…….it’s a southern Italian onion and olive pie made each year when vidalia onions are here. My grandmother made it. My mother made it. I make it. Onions tons of onions sliced thinly and sweated verrrrrrrrrrrrry slowly with olive oil and basil. i throw in a couple of shallots too. And they sweat down to soft and sweet, after which I add sliced black olives and just enough tomato sauce to color them but not make them runny, because they are going to be backed inside dough. You get the picture, right?

  26. I want the recipe for the onion and olive pie – it sounds so yummy!!

  27. LOL Delphyne. That iS the recipe. You have two layers of dough, one on top one on the bottom and put the mixture in it. I sometimes add some mozzarella, although you aren’t supposed to, I am a rebel that way! Parmesan cheese is nice in the mixture too. But basically, you rise that dough, punch it out, rise it and fill it up with a boatload of sweated onions, sliced black olives, salt and basil, some oregano if you like it. and bake it till the pizza crust is cooked.

  28. And when the pizza crust has filled the air with heaven scent, expect a crowd.

  29. Thanks, Uppity! Wasn’t sure if the pie was like a focaccia or pizza….it sounds positively divine! I will definitely give it a try!

  30. Well it’s more like a foccocia because it IS covered. Chill that dough before rolling it and your rising will depend on how dense you want that crust, but you probably already know that. I make a HUGE rectangular one and cut it in squares. Doesn’t last long.

  31. I’ll use Anne Burrell’s recipe for the focaccia and top with your onions/olives mixture. I’m sure that my neighbors will be lined up at my door – although with the heat/humidity in Jersey, I doubt I’ll turn that oven on for awhile! It really does sound delish, though.

    As an aside, when I was a kid – like really, really young – I told my mother I was in the wrong family, I should be Italian and my name should be Angela. She looked at me quite seriously and said that if I did not look so much like my father, she would think I was in the wrong family, too. And, of course, I am a natural lefty, so perhaps your Mom was what I was looking for!! 🙂

  32. Weiner needs to watch his ‘quotable quotes’ and the double entendre a lot of them are going to have.
    Can’t this DENSA-posterboy figure that out!

  33. Excellent UW. Do point out that it was made and posted way back in ’10.

  34. I’m tweeting myself over for a bite of that pie, Upps.

  35. Chit I thought it was 2011. I will fix. Not on my mark today, am I?

  36. Hey Delphyne, when it comes to dago-wanna-beeeeees, you can line up behind me.

  37. The pie is a shadow of its former self even as we speak.

  38. I’ll defer to you, NES, in the wannabeeeee line, even though I’m most likely older than you! And it’s always been Southern Italian or – gasp! – Sicilian for me! Are we still in the same line?? ~Baci, ~Angela

  39. Sorry Delphyne it is NOT like a foccaccia. It’s more like a Stromboli. I meant to say that. It is NOT open faced. It is completely surrounded with dough, packed high with the mixture, and VERY messy when you cut into it.

  40. Ok, stromboli I understand. Same with calzone. I get the picture – messy, need to wipe your elbows and delicious! Thanks for clarifying!!

  41. I’ve been to Sicily four times. Can you top that?

  42. Yes! Calzone. I couldn’t think of that name, but that’s more like it. Except its not a single serving, it’s in a tray.

  43. I’ve been to Sicily four times. Can you top that?

    Yeah but did you get onion pie?

    Besides, Sicilians aren’t Italians. Heh.

  44. No, NES, I cannot top your trip to Sicily – if I had gone there, I’d probably still be there! My SIL’s family is from there – Palermo – and it makes me jealous just to think about the food from that region. Garlic, check. Tomatoes, check. Really good olive oil. Check. Deep red wine. Check. Seafood. Check.

    Like I said, I’d still be there if I had ever gone. Maybe there’s a portal in Jersey that goes straight to Sicily….I’ll be ahead of you in line!

  45. Yep, that’s pretty much what the Sicilians say!

  46. Delphyne my mother’s family is from sourthern Italy. Bari, Alberobello.

  47. Besides, Sicilians aren’t Italians. Heh.

    Oh, god, how many times have I heard this?! Growing up in Jersey, I heard this. All. Of. The. Time. And never understood it until years later….

    Ah, I just stick with the food. It solves all differences.

  48. Sicily’s all yours Delphyne; I don’t think I can justify going there yet another time. I love it though; something about it gets under one’s skin.
    If you want to undersand Sicily, read The Leopard.

  49. I’ve always wanted to go to Bari, Upps. Is it in the Puglia province?

  50. I’ll do that, NES. Being placed where it is, the influence of so many cultures has its effects. Sicily is old and has been influenced by many, many cultures of the Mediterranean. That is part of its appeal for me – but the food. OMG. The food of Sicily and Southern Italy, along with the music of the area, are simply hypnotic for me. I’m “speaking” as Angela, of course!

  51. Hypnotic is a good word to describe Sicily. Raw is another.

  52. After remembering that young boy from Northern California who was killed in Sicily, that left me raw.

    I think Bari is in the heel area of Italy, maybe Puglia. The houses theres, if I recall, are beehive shaped and really interesting.

    I think I’ll make some pasta with a tomato sauce for dinner – the conversation has inspired me, along with my small garden of culinary herbs, one of which is basil that needs to be cut back. Ciao for now!

  53. Yes it is Puglia, NES, and yes it’s the heel. Monopoli, methinks.

  54. It’s how I learned all the peasant recipes people love so much and can’t find in restaurants.

  55. Other side came from Caserta, NES. Campania region.

  56. Did someone mention pizza PIE?

    Great post Uppity. I spit on my screen again….[wipe, wipe]

    An elected official tweets his (tiny) junk,

    Oooohhh……ELECTED official……my first read thought it said something else!

  57. karen– I couldn’t agree with you more! Yes, the amount of sexism I’ve seen has SKYROCKETED since 2008. Now there are sections in mags called “Bros before Hos” and the sexism in commercial is off the charts. Way worse than the Spuds McKenzie days. don’t even get me started about the sitcoms and fauxality TV. 2008 primaries started the flipping people off while talking to them, disguised as scratching your face, is acceptable to do now.

    The way people are flipping over themselves to apologize for Weiner’s behavior is just beyond the pale. Alec Baldwin’s piece on ‘its the technology stupid’ it forces men to act this way was unbelievable!!

  58. Like Baldwin is some shining example on the hill. He’s a pig and a maniac and is abusive to his child. Fuck him, I don’t care what he has to say. He needs to stick to playing pretend in the movies. Even then, he’s aging so badly, he might need to stop doing that soon too.

  59. Alec Baldwin raising his daughter and showing him how he respects women. Gee Alec, I can’t understand why she hated your freaking guts, Daddy.

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