Penguin realizes the real world sucks


142 Responses

  1. One very smart pengy.

  2. Is that a two bedroom cage??

  3. Batshit right winger jumps the shark: Crazy assed state senator with bright pink gun shows reporter how cute it is by pointing it at his chest.
    Thanks, asshole, from all the people who own guns and aren’t crazy like you are.

    Arizona state Sen. Lori Klein (R), a gun-rights champion, keeps a loaded raspberry-pink handgun in her purse, and during an interview with Arizona Republic reporter Richard Ruelas, she took it out and pointed it at him.

    “Oh, it’s so cute,” Klein said, before aiming the gun at Ruelas’s chest to show off the red beam of the laser sight. Klein’s gun, a .380 Ruger, has no safety, but the senator assured Ruelas that he wasn’t in danger.

    “I just didn’t have my hand on the trigger,” she said.

    Ah, I guess that makes it okay, simpleton.
    Raspberry pink? Jesus, what an asshole.

  4. she is right, if you do not put your finger on the trigger the gun will not go off. However you never point a gun at someone loaded or unloaded. It is simply bad practice and if she doesn’t have the sense not to follow that simple rule she is too stupid to own a gun or to be in public office either. One time she is going to pull that trick and her finger will be on the trigger.

  5. She’s not right. She’s crazy. It’s not bad practice. It’s crazy assed behavior. It’s people like this nutball who give the far left grist for their mill intended to disarm legally armed Americans who will be sitting ducks for the illegally armed. And the police, of course.

  6. She not only needs a mental stability test. She needs an IQ test. She likens gun owership as a “personal choice” to liking chocolate ice cream. This freak should be disarmed ASAP. She’s not right. Any responsible gun owner is horrifed reading about her. She’s exactly what shouldn’t own a gun. Power trip. Gun + public office. This is one scary freak.

  7. stupid move!!!!

  8. foxy, I don’t know which is more disturbing. That she has a raspberry pink gun she flashes or that she’s an elected official.

  9. Is that a two bedroom cage??

    LOL! He must have been treated VERY well.

  10. Could somebody go to and tell me what their current graphic is supposed to mean?

  11. That IS weird. Looks like Google is getting buried in the sands of Arabia?

  12. 450th anniversary of St. Basil’s Cathedral on Red Square. Moscow’s most famous tourist attraction.

  13. Yep. I was wrong, DE is right. I looked it up.

  14. When all else fails mouse over Googles logo and it tells you what it is.

  15. Thanks DE. Hey I wonder if Google will do a Bastille Day logo? On second thought, probably not…it may give the unwashed masses ideas.

  16. It is rather ironic, isn’t it, that Google would honor a russian place of religion but treat Christmas like it’s just Happy Holidays. Just saying.

  17. Thanks for the google hover tip, DE. SHows you how LITTLE I use Google.

  18. That penguin was thinking “Hey, this ain’t Starbucks!”

  19. And Hey! Where’s my fish! Give me my fish!

  20. Didn’t know it either till you sent me there today.

  21. OMG myiq! It’s a welfare penguin!!

  22. It’s Russia. Onion domes. Does July have some significance in Russian history?

  23. Aha, there you have it! Thanks DE.

  24. I’m shocked you even ventured into NoMan’sLand there, Upps. You must’ve been drunk.

  25. DE, be sure to get deloused. Google has cooties, so saith Aunt Upps.

  26. Feh. Gotta check on the enemy of the people now and then to see what they are up to.

  27. Remember the Penguin in Blues Brothers?

  28. I just heard on my local news that Bill Clinton will NOT be attending Betty Ford’s funeral here in CA today with his wife Hillary Clinton. They said his plane had mechanical problems and was delayed. Am I the only one who finds this strange? What plane does he fly on anyway? He doesn’t fly commercial does he? Of course there’s no AF1 for him anymore, but he is an ex-president (and a darn good one!) Maybe he has a plane for his foundation?

  29. It just seems to me that he’s an ex prez going to a funeral of an ex first lady….and his wife is a cabinet member of the current administration….doesn’t that qualify as state business? Couldn’t they get an air force plane to take him? I’m sure Meeshoe is going on AF1, they could have picked up Bill on the way!

  30. Obama threatening to withhold Granny’s social security check if no debt ceiling deal:

    President Barack Obama, in a CBS News interview scheduled to air Tuesday night, warned that, absent a deal, he can’t guarantee older Americans will continue to receive their Social Security checks.
    “There may simply not be the money in the coffers to do it,” Obama said, according to excerpts released by CBS.

  31. I hope those Westbro Baptist kooks miss their plane…they’re planning on protesting at Betty Ford’s funeral:

  32. imust- and he made that comment knowing full well Social Security is SELF FUNDING! Has nothing whatsoever to do with the damn debt- other than the money they stole from it and have not put back!

  33. I hear ya PMM. There’s no one he won’t throw under the bus or use. Oh but the Obots will say he’s playing 11 dimensional chess!

  34. “Has nothing whatsoever to do with the damn debt- other than the money they stole from it and have not put back!”

    Just heard Rubio give an interview to Limbaugh (I know, I know) and he said something regarding this fact to the effect of, “When they say that type of BS they are just admitting they have stolen the money and are borrowing it so they can send out checks. That they are admitting there is no “Lock Box” after all and the American People should raise hell about this” (Paraphrasing, of course)

    Heh. Thought that was rather an interesting take on the whole scam….

  35. Obama lies again.

    and BTW – in reading this article, it dawned on me why Obama hates women so much. Despite the fact this this book was “Suddenly” written to make Stanley Anne more palatable pre-2012, it appears Obama’s Mommy loved to do work for women, and of course, that took her away from HIM and his need for all-encompassing devotion as a child. All those WOMEN his mommy was trying to help. Our “Beloved Freud” would have a heyday!

    Just a theory. Perhaps Lorac could weigh in. 🙂

  36. Geez, the Westboro baptist fake church group and Imelda. Betty deserves better.

    The entry box does not like me today!

  37. Remember FF Obama is OILSOC! And where is lorac?? It’s Tuesday! I’m getting ready for lorac Wednesday!

    @Mt. Laurel: Betty Ford does deserve better. At least Hillary will be there.

  38. Nice header! Love the campaign sign! Simple–but effective!

  39. Gotta do a sidebar: Give Peas A Chance.

  40. Veggie lobby is on his ass.

  41. Typical of them to steal from social security and then punish their victims.

  42. imust, would be nicer if they missed their plane back and had to spend the night in town…

  43. I want to see him try to hold back social security checks. Then he will understand the true meaning of the saying “Pitchforks and torches”. He needs to withhold giving money to the brotherhood in Libya and Egypt. That should take care of it.

  44. I like the sidebar idea. And under it you can have the Nobel “Peas” Prize.

  45. I don’t know about your Glock UW, but my sig won’t go off unless my finger pulls the trigger back.
    You should read the rest of my comment. We are in agreement.

  46. That’s not the point Teresa. The point is you don’t stick your freaking gun in somebody’s chest and act like an asshole, with or without your finger on the trigger. And you don’t strut around bragging on your raspberry colored gun because you look like a power hungry asshole who humps your gun for fun. A gun is not a fashion assessory. And bragging on yours is a very bad sign.

  47. Cute pengy vid and great new pengy header. Made me think think of ice and snow on a hot muggy day.

    I was off work yesterday and today and had to run lots of errands and pick up things in two large towns near me. Every parking lot was full of cars in every shopping center. I wondered if the economy had improved and if people are feeling secure enough to spend money but then I realized it was the middle of the day and although I am often off at odd times, most people are still M-F 9-5 and the fact they were out shopping must have meant they were spending their unemployment checks.

  48. She should go to prison for the gun pointing. Just imagine if you or I or the reporter had pointed even a toy gun at her.

  49. My Mom is getting freaked out watching the news talk about Obama not sending out SS checks next month without reaching some sort of deal. Bet your ass that our checks to the UN don’t get disrupted and checks to Pokistannnnnnn continue too.

  50. “Made me think think of ice and snow on a hot muggy day.”


  51. LOL

    “Former one-term Congressman Alan Grayson (D-FL) announced he will be seeking another term in 2012.

    Grayson says Obama needs to tell the public that the GOP is “bigoted.”

  52. Mitch McConnel is playing poker with OZero. But I believe what he is doing is probably unconstitutional, IMO

  53. How come no one is asking where the democrats budget is? It’s been AWOL for a couple years now.

  54. Lots of folks are asking DE – it’s just not being reported. The ONLY budget they “submitted” was Obama’s back in May(?) and which NO Dems voted for.

    Obama and the Democrats are throwing this to the Republicans, or have been, and the Republicans have been scrambling to catch it, when they should let it fall to the floor. I THINK I heard Boehner ask the same question you just did earlier today.

    It’s all one big cluster-fuck to confuse the public and scare people, as BOTH SIDES laugh all the way to the bank with handouts from their donors and treasury.

  55. Karen, the parking lot was full because everybody was probably at the mall applying for the same two jobs available.

  56. Whoa on the Peas sidebar! Killer!!

  57. Double Whoa on the “Nobel ‘Peas’ Prize”!! Genius!

  58. Memo to self: “Get camouflage-design-printed gun. Upps like macho gun colors.”

  59. Pak doesn’t get checks, DE. They’re just intravenous’ed in, deep vein.

  60. Watching Betty Ford’s funeral. Roselyn Carter gave a good eulogy. Hillary is sitting next to W and Meeshell. Hill and GW are very chatty

  61. Isn’t Teh Won there? No golf course close by?

  62. I’m buying that theory, FF. I’ve always thought he felt abandoned and neglected by his mommy, and that therein lie the roots, of course unjustified, of his misogyny. Now, mind you, his daddy didn’t want anything to do with him from the get-go, but that didn’t turn him against men; in fact, he has a thing for patriarchal men in authority (Saudi King, Rev. Wrong, various generals, and the like).

  63. Super duper. He was abandoned and now an entire country has to put up with his malfunction.

  64. NES darling, guns are guns. They aresn’t supposed to have fashion designs on them. They are supposed to look like guns. I suppose I could put a daisy on this.

  65. No NES. The One wasn’t there. And it is surprising as there are a ton of golf courses nearby. But ya know he has to be back in DC holding tight to granny’s SS checks.

  66. The Repubs used to say that about WJC, Upps. Abandoned by his daddy and forever seeking adoration from strangers. Mind you, WJC was waaaaaay better adjusted, and his mama adored him and raised him as her personal Elvis.

  67. Yessssssss on the daisy.

  68. But ya know he has to be back in DC holding tight to granny’s SS checks.

    ROFL imust. Hope granny throws him from his Oval crib office.

  69. Didn’t Bill Clinton’s dad die in a car crash before he was born?

  70. Hmm, imust. One of his daddys abandoned him then; perhaps it was step-daddy.

  71. Btw, “Clinton” was his step-daddy’s last name, adopted by Bill; else he’d have been Bill Blair.

  72. I have a pellet gun that looks just like that English glock, Upps. I keep it in my panties draw.

  73. DE walking away legs crossed cringing.

    Catherine Kieu Becker, 48, is under arrest for chopping off her husband’s penis and tossing it in the garbage disposal.

    After she laced her husband’s food with an unknown drug or poison, he lay down, believing something was wrong with the food, according to police reports. Her husband then woke up tied to the bed as Becker cut off his penis with a knife. She then threw the genitalia in the garbage disposal and turned the disposal on, Lt. Jeff Nightengale of Garden Grove, Calif. police, said.

  74. I guess Mrs. Becker is about to join the Hall o’ Fame on this block board.

  75. Let me guess, DE…he refused to take out the garbage one toooooo many times; right?

  76. You’re close on the Blair. His name was Blythe. Roger Clinton was the step dad. Both Virginia, Bill’s bio dad, and Roger had multiple spouses. Bill didn’t have a typical Leave It to Beaver childhood, that’s for sure.

  77. You know, DEs little story there may explain men’s irrational fear of women in power! I never thought about it before, but men are actually quite vulnerable.

  78. Yep you can turn a drunk man into a fountain pretty easy imust.

  79. Hey my parents stayed together, but I can assure you it wasn’t Leave It To Beaver.

  80. Brava! The new header! Where do I sign up for calling potential voters? When and where is the first speech?

  81. Ah the penguins were the first to endorse Bill.

  82. Jaysus, that penis thing was brutal.

  83. That’s an interesting place to keep a pellet gun.

  84. Eww on the chopping and throwing into the garbage disposal. I suppose that can be corrected with surgery? No? My cousin used to say if he strayed his wife always kept super glue handy. Even that visual grosses me out.

  85. From DE’s link
    “Nightengale said the couple is going through a divorce, but could not confirm why Becker wanted to cut off her husband’s manhood.”

    That sentence just struck me. Why is it phrased that way? Does Lt Nightengale think the guy is no longer a man because a piece of his plumbing is gone?
    If a woman has a hysterectomy or mastectomy is her “womanhood” gone?

  86. BCL- the article says they can do a reconstruction and he will be sexually functional.

  87. Was anyone’s life Leave it to Beaver? NoT even any of the cast members of that show had a “Beaver” life. Just goes to show, when perfection is possible, life intrudes and messes stuff up. My own life – as far from Beaverville as possible, but we all have our burdens to bear, and somehow, we’ve all managed to bear them well. Why can’t the O-man do the same?

  88. PMM
    Thanks, I’m trying to picture what the reconstion will look like. A bionic….

  89. reconstruction
    My keyboard is acting up again and jumping back to the beginning of the line when I’m typing in the middle. Does anyone else experience this?

  90. I guess that was my point HT. Everybody has struggles and a less than perfect childhood, but they don’t mess up a whole country because of it!

  91. Let’s just say the guy will be spending the rest of his sex life pressing a button to get it on. He might even be able to control the garage door from his pants.

  92. Is that a remote in your pocket….or are you just happy to see me?

  93. imust, absolutely, and further most of us aren’t interested in messing up other people’s life because we have issues. It takes one heckuva strange duck to think that because he lived a certain way and learned a lesson or two that he’s so much wiser and knows what’s best for everyone. Shades of Jack Merridew (Lord of the Flies) and Big Brother (1984). I’m so very tired of people thinking they know what’s best when they have a closet full of insecurities and a lack of anything other than book learning. We seem to be under siege by both these days.

  94. BCL- Once in a while mine will jump back to the beginning- but I think it is me – what is that course HT is always typing about? mavis Beacon or something? Is there one for lap top keyboards? lol

  95. Mom, Mavis Beacon is a typing program that teaches one how to type so one doesn’t make type “dog” as “fit”.
    BCL, the cursor jumping around is a software issue. I had the problem when I had a virus, however that’s not the only explanation. It could be something to do with your mouse settings, or with interference from a toolbar such as Yahoo – I do not let any toolbars self install, so if you’ve got some, such as Yahoo or Google you might uninstall and see if that solves the problem. Anyway, you should post this on the PCHallp tab for Uppity – She is the Queen of PC.

  96. Thanks HT- I took typing in high school and back then – on the old typewriter lol- I could type about 90 words a minute. No way was I going to be an executive secretary at that slow speed. Took shorthand and book keeping as well. Never used any of the shorthand but wish now that somebody had encouraged me to take up accounting. I was very good at book keeping and did well in my college accounting classes.
    Hindsight and all that……

  97. See, it can be sewn back on and it’ll still work! FCS, if that isn’t irrefutable proof that it’s a man’s world, I don’t know what is.

  98. NES- sad no? The article was quite creepy. They actually retrieved at least some of the penis from the garbage disposal. EEEWWWW. Also talked quite a bit about reconstructive surgery, how he would still be able to urinate, and – get this- he would be able to ejaculate but it might not be as strong.
    Can’t imagine them going to these lengths for a woman. Her insurance company would find some way to deny payment.

  99. See, it can be sewn back on and it’ll still work! FCS, if that isn’t irrefutable proof that it’s a man’s world, I don’t know what is.


    They can’t cure breast cancer but they can take a guy’s little pee pee and restore it to perfect condition after it was ground through a garbage disposal. How many things can you find wrong with this picture?

  100. Hey, listen, the most valuable course I ever took in high school, besides geometry, was personal typing. I’m a touch typer and I can erase 150 wpm. In the dark. It’s a good thing too, because I can’t write worth a shit. a chicken could crap on a piece of paper and have it be more readable than my handwriting. So, before there were PCs, there were word processers and before word processers there were electric typewriters. And before electric typewriters there were manual typewriters, and I have owned them all.

  101. Now at the other end of the spectrum.

    A Russian man who tried to rob a hair salon ended up as the victim when the female shop owner overpowered him, tied him up naked and then used him as a sex slave for three days.

    Viktor Jasinski, 32, admitted to police that he had gone to the salon in Meshchovsk, Russia, with the intention of robbing it.

  102. BCL, don’t know if you have a laptop or a desktop, but you might want to check if your keyboard or touchpad driver is up to date. I can’t help you much more unless I know more details of what you are going thru.

  103. Good grief, I didn’t read the link cause I knew what it would be about – poor man boohoohoo. Up here there is a drug that has been proven to be sucessful in some breast cancer situations. For some strange reason (cost), this drug hasn’t been approved but let’s all rush out to save a man’s penis. Goddess forbid, what would he do without it? Pshaw, and they call women the weaker sex?

    Mom, I well remember those days. I wasn’t a rebel outwardly, yet on the inside, I refused to get involved with the trap that was education for “girls” I was so antio establishment in my own way that I also refused to be moved to a gifted program because it was designed for – penisii. In my own small way, I refused to become compartmentalized. Today, I wonder what would have happened had I taken what they offered, however it’s a fleeting thought. I’ve lived my life – warts and all, my way and have no regrets. P.S. Mavis Beacon is a good program – I revisit every once in awhile, cause I need a refresher, same as I reread Jane Austen, Shakespeare et al to further my own understanding. Yeah, I’m weird – my own kids tell me that all the time.

  104. DE that story sounds like every man’s dream.

    Because he would only know what rape feels like if she stuck a broom up his butt repeatedly. That might work.

  105. “Yeah, the guy who got his penis dumped in the garbage disposal? He’s my next door neighbor. Pisses me off though because i can always tell when he’s got an erection. My TV switches itself on.”

  106. She not only needs a mental stability test. She needs an IQ test. She likens gun owership as a “personal choice” to liking chocolate ice cream. This freak should be disarmed ASAP. She’s not right. Any responsible gun owner is horrifed reading about her. She’s exactly what shouldn’t own a gun. Power trip. Gun + public office. This is one scary freak.

    You took the words right out of my mouth Uppity!!!!

  107. Let’s check the kitchen!

    His penis is over here.
    Yeah it’s over here too.
    …And over here…

  108. Just think. Medical science will make it possible for him to still be able to write his name in the snow!

  109. I’m so happy I was able to provide you all will hours of fun.

  110. DE, the best part was envisioning you grabbing your crotch and wincing.

  111. Hi gang, I’m here working on a story for tomorrow!

  112. Ah, it’s our little Wednesday beaver, Lorac!

  113. lol it’s not late enough in the evening for me to touch that remark lol

  114. …even cringing.

  115. Yay, the Wednesday Beaver.
    The Beaver who could.
    The Beaver who gave a DAM!

  116. Lorac, will the piece be about how we all want to kill our fathers and sleep with our cats?

  117. I sleep with my cats every night already….

    Hey, I just thought of something – if it weren’t for the cats, I wouldn’t have any meat in my house (their canned food), and if it weren’t for the cats, I wouldn’t have any MALES in my house! Hmmphfff – they should appreciate me more!

  118. This dipwad thinks this is a beaver. But look at this poor lil guy. He’s so hungry he ultimately lets them do anything to him just to eat. And this dipshit calls this “funny”.

  119. Hmmmm, kill father, sleep with cat – and this is bad?
    Mind you, the sleeping with cat is a pain in the butkis. Have a queen size bed – dog takes up half, cat takes up one quarter – I’m the biggest but am left with 1/4. There has to be a better way!

  120. My dog does not sleep on the bed. There is just no room. Cats yes, dog no. I suppose if I had a small dog that would be okay.

  121. Got a neighbor with a Yorkie who is skinny as hell. They say he won’t eat but they are feeding him cheap crap with dye in it. So I started bring him his meals. Now he thinks I’m his BFF and everytime he sees me he goes wild. I feel like taking him home where he could get more attention. It’s not that that aren’t good people but he’s left out of a lot and wants to jus be near everybody and cuddled. He’s smaller than a cat, FCS. My dog is very kind to him too. I wonder if maybe they want to give him up or at least give him to me for badly needed day care. he’s a cute little cur. I’m not a fan of small dogs but I just think he needs some personal TLC. I’m such a suckhole.

  122. Go for it Uppity, sounds like fate has put you and the Yorkie together.

  123. Well we’ll see how it goes. His coat is already looking better with better food. I am going to show them the difference, because all they have to do is look at their dog to know he already looks better. But I can’t do much with his lonliness. So lately during the day when I walk my dog I grab him too. He’s often outside on their deck and they don’t mind. In fact, they are glad they don’t have to walk him. it’s kinda hard though because my dog and I travel a little faster than he does so we’ve had to slow down. lol. I bring him in my yard to goof around with my dog and he loves that. Bless my big chooch, she’s so good with little dogs.

  124. Eh, as it is, I’m taking care of an old man’s big ole maine coon and given the choice, the cat would move in with me too. The guy is failing, really and the cat needs to be fed regularly etc. Cripes what is it with animals and me. I’m like a damned magnet. lol.

  125. Jaysus, that Oklahoma football player, 22 years old who died? Guess what autopsy found

    An autopsy found the painkillers oxymorphone, morphine, hydrocodone, hydromorphone and oxycodone in Box’s system, along with the anti-anxiety drug alprazolam.

    Good God.

  126. Goodness, you are a veritable magnet for souls in need and that is a good thing. Those animals need someone who cares – sadly the ones who have legal ownership (how can one own an animal?) do not recognize the needs of their own companions. Tis an old story, and it’s not getting any better these days – When I adopt a companion from Kentucky, for cripes sake. I wonder whether Milly had to go through customs checks.
    Re the young chap – I have to wonder why he had so much junk in his system. I can understand youngsters like him being perscribed anti-depressants – goodness knows my daughter was. She wouldn’t touch it now what with all the bad reactions that she endured. Have times changed so much or were we under diagnosed back in the day? I knew I was depressed, as did my mother. We just recognized the issues and got on with it. What on earth has changed?

  127. Hey, how come HT doesn’t show up until I’m busy trying to write? What would Zeke say?! lol

  128. Okay, story is scheduled for 5 am!

    And FF! I forgot to mention, I LOVE the header! (I always do 🙂 )

  129. About the light bulbs, UW predicted the outcome, but Rep. Barton is not done. BTW, seems Pelosi was involved in determining outcome of vote….
    Light bulb bill goes dark in House

    … failed to get the necessary two-thirds support needed for approval under expedited rules. A majority of members — 233 — supported the repeal, including five Democrats. Ten Republicans joined 183 Democrats opposing the measure.

    Barton said his plan is to move the measure under a regular rule requiring only majority support or as a spending bill amendment….

  130. Trying to catch up on threads – I had to laugh at the Yorkie, Uppity. The reason I’m behind on looking at your site and a few of the others I frequent is because I am watching a young Bichon while his mother is in the hospital. He came up on one of the rescue sites and, sucker that I am, said I would take him for awhile. Kylie seems to like little boy dogs, but not really in her house. She tolerates him. He’s a clown, like a circus dog. I want to take him to my groomer, though – he needs to be bathed and clipped. And now he’s whining to be fed. Be back later.

  131. The people who keep re-electing Nancy deserve to have her return to local politics and ripping off the locals, which so many council people are so skillful at before they move up to ripping off the state and then the country.

  132. So what’s the GOPs solution to this conundrum on the debt ceiling? They will hand over the budgetary power to Obama so they can blame him for raising it…..”hey! Wasn’t US!! OUR hands are clean!” What.A.Bunch.Of.Cowards! Then they will stand back on cue and blame-blame-blame.

  133. They are saying interest rates will go up. Good. Does that include interest rates for savings and CDs? I’d like to get more than a buck three eighty for the money i RESPONSIBLY saved.

  134. Beware when the Chamber of Commerce gives advice. Their goals in life do not include protecting the American people. These companies are all afraid they won’t get their corporate welfare so they can hoard some more money.

  135. Imagine Jeff Immelt saying Americans need to stop criticizing government. The $7 curly bulb pimp whose company paid NO taxes last year. How do you reduce THEIR corporate tax rate? Give them money?

  136. Nobel “Peas” Prize. ROFLMAO!!!! 😆

  137. HT, that’s a very crowded queen bed. (No wonder you’re not having ribs!!)

  138. LOL on crowded bed NES. I don’t think I want to wake up in the morning with banana nose between me and Mr. U.

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