Drip… drip… drip… Eurospeak and “stealth jihad”

I pulled this out of a file folder for “fun week” – looks like it was sent to me in an email way back in 1999!

The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications rather than German, which was the other possibility.  As part of the negotiations, the British government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).

In the first year, “s” will be used instead of the soft “c”.  Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy.  Also, the hard “c” will be replaced with “k”.  Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik akseptanse enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome “ph” will be replaced by “f”.  This will make words like “fotograf” twenty persent shorter. 

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.  Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which has always been a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent “e”s in the languag is disgrasful, and they would also go.  By the fourth year, peopl wil be seseptiv to steps such as replasing “th” and most “s” by “z”, and “w” by “v” for aded zimplisity.

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary “o” kan be dropd from vords kontaining “ou”, and zimilar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters alzo.

After zis fitz yer, ve vil konkor.. ahem.. ve vil hav a reli zenzibl ritn styl.  Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis und evrivun vil find it ezi tu nderstand ech ozer.

Achtung!  Ze drem vil finali kum tru!

And now for something completely different! 

The above is obviously a joke – but it reminded me of something I saw once (which is NOT filed neatly away in the filing cabinet, and I can’t find it online right now!)  But it listed different rates of immigration of Muslims into a country, and with each larger amount of Muslims, more demands were made to the host country, more attempts – not to assimilate – but to change the host country to their own.  This is just an example, I’m guessing, but it gave info such as, “as X number of Muslims have moved in, they will start to fly their own flags”, and “as Xx2 Muslims have immigrated, they will start blocking public streets 5 times a day with their (male) prayers”.  Anyway, the joke above reminded me of it, because both are based on a kind of slow gradual change heading towards total change.  I did find what I’ve pasted below, but it’s not exactly what I was looking for:

Muslim Immigration

All immigrants bring exotic customs and attitudes, but Muslim customs are more troublesome than most. Also, they appear most resistant to assimilation. Elements among the Pakistanis in Britain, Algerians in France, and Turks in Germany seek to turn the host country into an Islamic society by compelling it to adapt to their way of life.

On a small scale, they demand that factories keep to the Islamic calendar, with its distinctive holidays and special rhythms; or that public schools be segregated by sex and teach the principles of Islam. A significant body of Muslims, especially followers of Ayatollah Khomeini, appear to hope they can remake Europe and America in their own image. And they are not shy to say so. The editor of a Bengali-language newspaper in England, Harunur Rashid Tipu, explained that the leaders of the Young Muslim Organisation, seek ultimately “to build an Islamic society here.” In the Rushdie affair, the Muslim diaspora in the West and the regime in Tehran created a cultural and political crisis that struck at the heart of Western values of free speech and secularism, confirming the worst fears of many in the West.

Of course, to build an Islamic society means taking political power. And while this is remote, it is just foreseeable. A French woman of North African origins told a reporter, “Tomorrow I will be mayor, the day after president of the republic.”

http://www.danielpipes.org/198/the-muslims-are-coming-the-muslims-are-coming

And speaking of “stealth jihad”, here’s the incomparable Pat Condell on the subject:

Does anyone else have any fun word “games” or fun word observations?  Or, chime in about the Muslim stuff – maybe someone knows the piece I was looking for but couldn’t find.  Or we could talk about Uppity while she’s away  :)  (Hi, UW!  :)  )

88 Responses

  1. For another “fun word” thingie – there’s something which I believe is called the “Oxford comma”, and scholars decry its diminished use. Commas often convey meaning, and if one is missing, the reader may not get the intended meaning.

    Here are two sentences, identical except for a comma. The sentences are asking two different questions!

    1. What was it doing, eating or drinking?

    2. What was it doing, eating, or drinking?

  2. “Eats shoots and leaves” vs. “Eats, shoots, and leaves.”

  3. I thought you all might get a laugh out of this. It came to me via email.

    Employe Notice

    Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, Congress has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early, mandatory retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment.

    This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

    Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to Congress to be considered for the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination).

    Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers).

    A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Congress deems appropriate.

    Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for
    Dependents & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).

    Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Congress.

    Persons who are not RAPED and are
    staying on will receive as much S.H.I.T. (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Congress has always prided themselves on the amount of S.H.I.T. they give our citizens.

    Should you feel that you do not
    receive enough S.H.I.T., please bring this to the attention of your Congressman, who has been trained to give you all the S.H.I.T. you can handle.

    Sincerely,

    The Committee for Economic Value of
    Individual Lives (E.V.I.L.)

    PS – Due to recent budget cuts and
    the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, as well as current market conditions, the Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off..
    Back to top

  4. That Condell! Straight talker for sure!
    Utah- that is hysterical- am passing it along!

  5. Condell. Hope you enjoy the death threats, lorac. I know I will be pointing out that this is your post, not mine. Heh.

  6. Oh PUHLEEZE! Where the hell were these people in 07 and 08? And just what do they think will be accomplished with the fraud’s friends in charge at Justice? Worthless bunch of idiots.
    http://news.yahoo.com/rnc-chairman-priebus-calls-investigation-fundraising-activity-white-203105133.html
    “WASHINGTON, July 18, 2011 /PRNewswire-USNewswire/ — Republican National Committee (RNC) Chairman Reince Priebus today called on the Department of Justice to investigate whether or not President Barack Obama broke federal election laws by conducting illegal political fundraising activity in the White House.”

    He has been breaking election laws for how long now?

  7. “Let’s eat, grandma!” or “Let’s eat grandma!”

    Punctuation is important (especially to grandma)

  8. lorac, you are truly priceless, or should that be priseless. Hmmm doesn’t seem right.
    Re Muslim – my neighbor tried to convert me, or should that be sonvert or konvert me. She wanted to talk about the Koran, until I told her I’d already read it, and thanks but no thanks. Mind you, as a heretical unbeliever I’m lost anyway.

  9. Hoo neyds stinkin punkuashion oar spelin Tht 4 old ppl.
    k tx bai

  10. n no math- we gots plstic n puters

  11. Mom, have you seen Idiocracy?

  12. I am a diehard fan of the so-called Oxford comma.

  13. Me too. I’ve had incidents where proof readers actually corrected the O comma out of something I wrote. Needless to say, I went wild and produced a Grammar book written before the NY TImes edited out the comma in the interest article space. That’s how it happened, you know. Newsprint people started changing things around and the Oxford comma was one of the first things to go, since it recquires the use of at least two extra spaces (the comma and the blank). Despicable. Admittedly, I got so sick of hearing everyone, I caved.

    I am also very aggressive about the sudden interchanging of Insure, Assure, and Ensure, pointing out that they are not only not the same, but should your home ever catch fire, you just go ahead and try to find your Homeowners’ Ensurance company in the yellow pages.

    Incidentally, there is a city in England that has eliminated all possessive apostrophes from road signs. “The City Where Apostrophes Arent Welcome” (sic)
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1131560/The-city-apostrophes-arent-welcome.html?ITO=1490

  14. HT- no- what is it? If it’s a movie chances are I haven’t seen it.

  15. Rofl on the comma. I went back to college in my late thirties and some of the professors were younger. Being the crabby old witch that I am, I refused to cave when these dolts marked my papers for excessive use of commas. I got out the grammar book and got my points back on the papers. Mind you, these were English Lit professors!

  16. Mom, it’s a movie made a few years ago about how idiocy had taken over civilisation. It’s actually an idiot movie, however it appears to be coming true. Obamamania is just one indicator.

  17. Ht that reminds me of my reaction to the movie “Broadcast News”. I thought at the time that we would never have a media which played fast and loose with the truth and was all about looks and personality. Boy was I wrong.

  18. UW, I often spell words the way the English do. I think it has to do with my choice of reading material when I was a kid. I used to get comments about it, so I have given in to my spell check program and now spell everything the American way.
    But that is a bit different than not knowing the difference between Insure and Ensure. Hell, if people can’t even use their, there and they’re correctly, then what can we expect?

  19. Teresa, I felt the same way when I first saw Broadcast News – no way that it could ever happen. Now we hear about the neverending story of Rupert Murdoch and his minions and we were both wrong. I feel like Peter Finch in Network these days. I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore.
    Uppity was right on the money when she told us all several years ago to stop watching or listening to network news.
    vis a vis English versus American spelling – I’m a Canuck, eh, so English all the way. And I agree – their versus there versus they’re is a real bugaboo.

  20. myiq2xu, on July 20, 2011 at 9:03 AM said:

    “Let’s eat, grandma!” or “Let’s eat grandma!”

    Punctuation is important (especially to grandma)

    :lol:she is too tough to eat any way!! 😆

  21. foxy, if you had grandmas like mine, you are absolutely correct. I’ve never met two more formidable women. I like to think I’ve inherited some of their chutzpah.

  22. My pet peeve can be found at express lanes, news crawls, and TNT commercials: “Ten items or less” ; “More Movies, Less Commercials.” (“Less” should be “fewer,” of course.)

    Commas– “I’ll have grits, ham, and eggs” ; “I’ll have grits, ham and eggs.” (Three items on the plate; two items on the plate.)

  23. Lorac – really got a giggle out of the first part of this post. Sent it to my sister. She’ll enjoy it too.

    And Part 2 – I’ll take that as a h/t, in part, to my breakfast reading material…

  24. Right on, Churl.

  25. Just heard Moody’s will not accept the McConnell Plan! Aren’t we all glad to know that Moody’s has more power than the voters, the Congress and the pResident.

  26. Great “lorac Wednesday”! Change! I didn’t know about the loss of the comma! And apostrophe too?! I’ve wondered about the effect of texting on our language:
    http://www.times.co.nz/cms/news/education/2008/02/art100019283.php

  27. FF, pretty sad about Moodys. But really, haven’t they always held the power? They’re just more brazen about it now.

  28. It’s clear the Banks own Obama 100% now.

    How do ya like them apples, Obots?

  29. Commas– “I’ll have grits, ham, and eggs” ; “I’ll have grits, ham and eggs.” (Three items on the plate; two items on the plate.)

    Really? I was taught, I think, that when you had a list of things, when you got to the last one, you used the word “and” rather than a comma. Have I been wrong all this time?

    I agree on the less verses fewer word gaff. It never bothered me but now it will I am sure. I can hear my Nana correcting that one. Where is Nana while I still need her?

  30. too many commas in my last comment. lol

  31. less is more?

  32. Teresainpa said:
    “Really? I was taught, I think, that when you had a list of things, when you got to the last one, you used the word “and” rather than a comma. Have I been wrong all this time?”

    I was taught that this was the default but that there are exceptions. In the ham and eggs example using “and” without the comma might be interpreted as scrambled eggs with ham mixed in rather than two separate items (e.g., soft boiled eggs with ham on the side).

  33. teresa, the original rule of grammar, before lazy bastards got ahole of it, was

    “Always put a comma before the “and” in a series”.

    Without the comma before the and, you have a compound object instead of a singular item.

  34. Ah! Compound subject makes sense, so you know what kind of verb you need.

    Gen Y needs “fun!” and “flexibility” to work.
    http://www.cnn.com/2011/LIVING/07/20/hot.schedules.millenials/index.html?hpt=hp_c2

  35. LOL! Freedom Fairy! What do you give a narcissist who has everything? Why a personalized planet natch!

  36. Imust – what is a planet natch? LOL

  37. imustbehipandnotusecommas FF!

  38. I think MKB would like his name visible from space too. Watchathink?

  39. MKB is probably already known in space. He does get around.

  40. MKB is probably already known in space. He does get around

    Do I feel a new header coming on?? MKB in the space station? Or coming back in the space shuttle?

  41. Perhaps we should send Mr Hormones just has to leave the room to this site. He can learn about grammar and punctuation and the constitution all in one stop. Or is diagramming sentences above his pay grade?

    http://www.german-latin-english.com/diagrampreamble.htm

  42. imust, I think MKB envisions himself in the Michelangelo vatican ceiling fresco – you know, the one with god reaching out to Adam and I don’t think MKB thinks of himself as Adam. Just saying, but Zeke thinks he’s a god too.

  43. HT are you saying that MKB is omnipresent?

  44. imust, No, however he does appear to be around all the time, and he is a male cat. And he’s cute and certainly relies on his cuteness. Zeke does the same – lil devil that he is.

  45. HT are you saying that MKB is omnipresent?

    MrHeh.

  46. imust, see, MKBill just proved my point – he’s like Chicken man, he’s everywhere.

  47. Loved the kick ass Condell vid! So true. I read a book by a Brit historian Giles Milton about the muslim sultans kidnapping thousands of English people & other Europeans to make them slaves in their humongous palaces in North Africa. It was pretty gruesome.

    utah, ROFL!

    I’ll have to get laker to read the thread. I taught him about commas, but he’s been slipping.

  48. Hahahahaha FF…so true that Obama will be J.
    After he’s kicked out of the WH in ’12, he sould move to Dubai or Abu Dhabi and build a mighty castle — complete with a 2000-meter-wide-and-10,000-meter-long name plaque — on the sands.

  49. NES, don’t forget a golf course. He could have one heckuva sand trap.

  50. MKB, I know that you’ve populated several planets, in this galaxy alone. Space kittens galore!

  51. Right on, imust! We won’t begrudge him those golf games. (In fact, I’m willing to chip in for a one-way ticket for him to the UAE anytime he wants — first class for the sheikh-to-be, of course.)

  52. I lovvvvvvvvvvvve me my Pat Condell.

  53. build a mighty castle — complete with a 2000-meter-wide-and-10,000-meter-long name plaque — on the sands.

    Ozymandias, NES.

  54. We’re taking off in the morning, gang. I’ll check in when I check in.

  55. Did I miss something on my hiatus? Is Uppity going on a “VACATION”? Who is in charge while she’s gone? This is a first – I’ve been here for years and I cannot recall Uppity not being here. Gasp, I think I need a respirator.

  56. Yep. (He’s not exciting enough to be Kublai Khan.)

  57. Don’t forget to have The Needle-Nose send me a postcard.

  58. Don’t miss us toooooooo much, Upps.

  59. SCRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETTTCH!!!!!……Are we going to have a Lorac Thursday or Friday??

  60. HT — Our Beloved BlogMistress tends to vacay in the Adirondacks pretty much every year. (I’m having the area scouted out to see if I can get an ID on her; my spies are everywhere…..)

  61. This piece in Salon — http://www.google.com/gwt/x?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.salon.com/technology/how_the_world_works/2011/07/20/steve_wynn_anti_obama_rant/index.html&wsi=8ee97fe66e052209&ei=vGQnTqGcK5rWxQWQj6DiDw&wsc=yq — in my view, exemplifies everything that’s wrong with left-thinking:

    — Complete and utter disregard for the damage caused by rising taxes in a recessionary economy. How does it make sense to revert to a Clinton-era tax rate when that was one of the most prosperous economies of modern times, marked by a rising tide of revenue for businesses!!?!!

    — Ridiculous incomprehension of the notion that a businessman would want a work force “eager to please”!

    — And, of course, the ludicrous notion that one shouldn’t attack Obama.

    — An unsupported presumption that an unemployed person desperate for a job is going to care about the redistributive ‘justice’ principle (Obama’s favorite saw of “millionaires and billionaires should pay their fair share”) — as if causing Mr. Goldbricks to pay his “fair share” in taxes is going to get a poor slob a job.

    End of rant.

  62. HT – Bill is in charge

  63. Oh noes, Bill? I really need that respirator now. Bill and Zeke in my every day life. There is no justice.

  64. Don’t any of you other contributors want to post something?

    FF, PMM, mcnorman, NES, DE, townecrier?

  65. lorac – can’t tomorrow but I’ll take Friday AM post. Not sure what about, but something!

  66. At least I think I will! I have had AWFUL Computer problems all day! I have firewall and antivirus but had FOUR Viruses and some Malware. Not sure that everything is better yet, but I am trying.

    I HATE people who invent viruses – Computers are bad enough without some asshole sitting around all day trying to make them even more a PITA to use.

  67. I have to go to bed now – very hot here and a long day tomorrow. Anyway, I’ll get something done – but not until I am sure I will not be uploading some crap to everyone…

    And if I hadn’t had mail from you, I might not of known – my spellcheck on Outlook suddenly crashing was a tip off. The rest was a nigtmare!

  68. FF – I LOVED your email! We have “to breakfast” more often!

    I’m writing you back now.

    And I’m so glad you’re going to do Friday’s post! I’m looking forward to it! Will Bill be here, or is he going on vacation with Uppity?

  69. Not sure where Bill will be on Friday. He’s a cat.

    Now I may need some help moderating Friday as I have to put an 8′ Lizard on a giant wooden backer board in the morning.

    Lorac – Breakfast anytime!😉

  70. It would be neat to have a post by NES – lawyer jokes? Jokes told BY lawyers? Things you always wanted to know about lawyers but were too afraid you’d get a bill for hearing them? (I just made up my own joke there lol) Maybe a historical overview of attorney movies, rated for authenticity, points about subtle things we non-attorneys may not have picked up on? Something fun but something we could learn things from, as well? OR – maybe jokes told BY a lawyer ABOUT her better half? hehe just kidding (you’d never do it, and I’d never let you!) OR – a statistical analysis (!) of what fields of law that lesbians are more populous in? Or women in general? Stories of what it was like in law school – many female teachers? Many female students? Do women tend to have different pre-law-school degrees than male do?

    Maybe Marsha or AngieNC could chime in, too……?

    Hey, that could be MY next post – calling up people, throwing out silly ideas, and encouraging them to post! ROFL

  71. Maybe we all have to help moderate each other’s this week. When I write, my post goes up at 5 EST, leave for work after I get up, and don’t often get home until 7, sometimes 8 (PST). So I can’t do a great job of moderating my own, either….

  72. We can help Lorac.

    Now I REALLY have to go to bed. Have a headache from all this computer junk today – and painting 8′ Lizard cut-outs!

  73. andy – your comment at the top of the thread – that’s the BEST example, but I couldn’t think of it at the time!!!! I’m glad you put it in the comments. I’m writing it down so next time I need it, I won’t have to rely on my memory!

  74. Will enjoy your mail in the AM

    Night all

  75. OK, I’ll be there soon to tuck you in 🙂

  76. Sorry Jr.BlogMiss, I’m up to my neck in deadlines for the next 10 days.

  77. I can definitely help moderate.

  78. FF and lorac, you grrls make a really cute couple. Looking forward to the wedding invite — we’ll have a cyber-wedding here, at Aunt Upps’!!

  79. Are we talkin’ about a 12-omelette “breakfast”?????

  80. NES, we didn’t even GET to the food!

  81. NES, on the other hand the bush tax cuts didn’t exactly create jobs either. The reason to let them expire would be to help the general fund.
    The only thing that creates jobs is demand. I know this, I was lectured on it time after time by CEOs and CFOs at corporations all over the country when I worked for Dun and Bradstreet. One way to KILL what little demand we still have perking is to cut “entitlements” (which are not really entitlements, but things we paid for through our taxes and pay deductions). We simply can not cut things like medicare and social security while people at the top are doing so well and they are doing well.
    I don’t know if you are significantly younger than I am. I remember a time where corporations were regulated, they kept their jobs here and paid healthcare. It is not that way any longer and it should be.
    One of the reasons that the wealthy are getting wealthier and everyone else is getting poorer is because of out crazy idea that we can not tax the rich because we might join them some day. HA! There is less class movement in this country now than at any time in history. We have been moving in the direction of the rich getting richer and everyone else getting poorer for forty years. And now we are in a crisis. Why should we raise taxes on the rich? To help support the poor and middle classes which are responsible for making the rich, rich.
    Labor is a commodity. It is what the laborer has to “sell”. It is the stock of the people and we have allowed that stock to free fall for most of my life (I am 54). Real wages have gone down as long as I have been in the work force. Now you have to have two incomes to help a family stay afloat. Who has profited from that change? The rich have benefited. Corporations now pay people less money for more work.
    The fact that so many families are now single parent families has created a permanent class of people who have no choice but to depend on the government to survive. ALL of the factors that have hurt the middle and lower classes are the very things which have made the top one percent richer.
    I am not a socialist. I am a capitalist. I despise most of the silly socialist set (none of whom blog here, all here being not at all silly). Communism is a black mark on the history of the world. But then , capitalism is too. What we need is balance and things are way out of balance right now all over the world. You and I are probably never going to agree on this topic. I just want to present the other side. The top one percent are not “the job creators”. The middle and lower classes are the job creators. Not understanding that is what has taken us in this crazy rightward direction that has us at the brink of disaster. Class warfare, hell yes, and it is about time the lower classes started fighting back.
    The top 1 percent are the least important people in this country in terms of the health of the nation and our economy. We need medicare for all to release people from their corporate slave jobs. We need movement in the middle class and that only comes from small businesses run by middle class people becoming stronger and more numerous.

  82. You know what is too big to fail? The middle and lower class is too big to fail. If we let them/us fail then the rich are next and it probably won’t be pretty. You think verbal class war is ugly. Imagine when it gets real.

  83. The Bush tax cuts expired in 2010. It’s the Obama tax cuts now.

  84. Teresa, I’m almost as old as you, so it isn’t generational. It’s a time-worn debate between those who have a different view of economics and political systems. Two things we do agree on is: (a) the social security and medicare funds are not ‘entitlements’ — they’re more akin to insurance premiums people were forced to pay over their working lives (it’s just that the average life expectancy has made a quantum leap beyond what the actuarial tables used to determine those monthly ‘premiums’ are, and because Congress has been raiding those funds for their pork-projects); and (b) small businesses, taken cumulatively, are the biggest job creators. Small businesspersons, however, are generally opposed to tax hikes on the ‘rich.’ Also, our tax system is very progressive already, in that the top 40 percent of income earners account for more than 70 percent of the tax revenues, and the top 1 percent accounting for appx. 40 percent of revenues, with the bottom 10 percent accounting for 0 percent.. Societies that run on a ‘soak the rich’ philosophies have been nowhere as socially-mobile or economically prosperous as the US, and that’s no coincidence. I would fund medicare and social security by getting out of the war business and funneling the millions, often billions, of dollars a day saved into those funds and by making it unlawful for Congress to raid them. But, you’re right we probably won’t agree sufficiently to bridge the gulf between our basic philosophies.

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