Live Blogging at Walmart on Black Friday

11:30 pm, Thursday night….Still waiting for Uppity…….

I'm sure Uppity is on her way with my Starbucks......

11:55 pm:  Luckily, as a former Girl Scout….I’m always prepared!   I added a thermos full of hot tea to my Zombie Survival Kit before I left the house!  That should thaw me out.   Well the doors are about to open and still no sign of Uppity.  Looks like I’m on my own for awhile, I’m sure she’s really busy doing something important….like sleeping off her Thanksgiving dinner in her warm cozy home.  It’s OK…I can handle things here for a while on my own.   Theymustbegettingready to open the doors, I hear a rumbling in the crowd.  The good news is, I’m right up front ready to be one of the first customers in…..the bad news is there’s a whole lotta people behind me ready to stampede.  This is an all-too familiar, “deja vu-ish” feeling,  like a movie I’ve seen before, but this time….I’m in it!


12:00 am…..It’s Black Friday!!!  The clerks in their blue vests have come to the door.  There’s several rather burly  young men who appear to poised to unlock the doors.   One of them is peeking out the glass at the crowd behind me growing more restless by the minute……he gives his co-workers a knowing glance and then tosses the keys to a petite female employee nearby….they seem to be using her as bait or a decoy.  Ah well, only a womminz….she’s expendable……everyone is pushing forward.  It’s wall-to-wall people and I’m getting a lot closer to strangers than I’m usually comfortable with…I’ve got to pick up my stuff and get ready to move.  I’ll post again when I’m safely on the inside…….wooo-hooooo!!!!!

12:15 am: I made it!  No harm, no foul, (okay maybe some fouls)…safe and sound.  The bat in my Zombie Survival Kit did come in handy after all.

I managed to snap a photo of the crowd as it burst into the store:

The guy playing "airplane" started doing that right after I whacked him in the head with my Zombie bat! Not sure what happened, but at least I can see his hands at all times now!

12:30 am: Email alert on my laptop!!!  It’s from Uppity!  She’s giving me some directives on the post………hold on……yes Uppity!!!

An Uppity with it!

12:45 am:  imustfindtheWalmartClinic for Uppity.  But there are so many people in this store I can’t see anything.  Wait a minute…..what’s that I hear?

“Whose Walmart?”  “Our Walmart!”…..”Whose Walmart?  “Our Walmart!”  What’s all that mindless chanting??  Could that be the Occupy Wall Street people Occupying Walmart?  Imustgetcloser to find out.

1:15 am:  I see a group of unshowered men wearing berets and banging drums in a circle.  There are no women in the immediate vicinity, wait there’s some of the women over in the housewares department….thismustbe the OWSers!  I cautiously approach a man wearing a mask with a wireless earphone, frantically punching the keys of his Blackberry.

ME: “I’m curious sir, are you with Occupy Wall St.?”

OWSguy: “twinkle hands up” sign.

ME:  “Are you lost?  This is WalMART, not Wall STREET.”

OWSguy:  “We’ve been wandering aimlessly since being evicted from our park.  You know, we’re a “leaderless” movement….we saw the tent city out front and it felt like HOME!  It took us 3 days of hand signals and mic checks to decide to come in!”…..  “And besides”……. “They’ve got really good prices on ipads!”

1:30 am:  The thermos of tea I drank to thaw out has kicked in so I’m gonna ask the OWmart guy where the restrooms are….

ME: “Can you tell me where the bathrooms are?”

OWmart guy:  “Mic Check!!”


ME: (whispering), “Shh…I really need to use to the bathroom.”


ME:  “Will you please stop shouting.”


Oh good, there’s a nice Walmart employee!!

ME:   “Oh Miss?  Miss?  Can you help me?  I need to find the feminine hygiene products AND the nearest bathroom!”


Okay, that’s it!  I’ve had enough….I’m giving them MY special hand signal….twinkle this!

Censored because this is a family blog

I hear more chanting……”Whose bathroom?”  “Our bathroom!”  “Whose bathroom?”  “Our bathroom!”  Maybe those OWmart people can be helpful after all!  Whew!

2:00 am:  Still searching for the Walmart Clinic.  I’m heading toward the Pharmacy.  It would make sense to be near there right?  Hey, maybe I should follow this guy???

Hemustnotbetoosick.....I can hardly catch up to him!

“Hey! Yoohoo!  Wait up!! What’s the hurry?  Are you on your way to the Walmart Clinic??”

2:30 am: Finally found the Walmart Clinic….it’s just past the cigarettes, between the candy aisle and the liquor section!  Oh lookie!  Here’s the surgery area!! Conveniently located in the men’s bathroom!

State of the Art equipment! And everything is on wheels! That way, they can bring the surgical room to the check out while you're waiting in line! Consider the time savings!!

3:00 am:  I seem to have developed a bit of a sore throat and cough.  I think it’s because of all that time in the freezing cold waiting for the store to open.  Since I’m here anyway, I might as well have a check up!  I’m sure their doctors are all board certified and AMA approved!

On second thought.........

3:30 am: Well, I’ve checked out the clinic.  I wonder if Uppity has any other assignments for me? I’m getting hungry.  Time for a little something to eat. Uppity recommended the “Little Debbie” cakes.  I may check those out later for an energy boost as I walk through the aisles.  You know, you don’t have to pay for anything you eat when you’re shopping as long as you keep moving.  Uppity says she can put a whole “Little Debbie” cake in her mouth at once!  Isn’t she such a multi-talented Uppity Woman!!

If I’m not mistaken,  Walmart has a McDonald’s inside the store.   Not exactly healthy fare, but it’s filling, and something about the surroundings makes me crave greasy food.

Looks like some more OWS refugees. How sad. Their Mom probably wouldn't let them back in her basement. At least they can snuggle up to the corporate icon Ronald!

4:00 am:

You know, now that I think about it…..I probably should skip the junk food.  Our beautiful fashion icon and First Lady of the World, Michelle Obama is always lecturing counseling us about the importance of healthy eating.  She even has her own organic vegetable garden on the White House Lawn that she planted with her own two hands!!   I really should heed her example.  [Head whips around doing a double take]  What the Heck!!! Look who’s behind me in line at the Walmart McDonalds!!  Can that be…???  Nah…….they don’t serve arugula and steak at McDonalds!!!  And I know french fries would never touch our FLOTUS’ lips!!

No worries Michelle. Your secret is safe with me! I promise I won't tell anyone....well, besides a few thousand people on the internet!

4:30 am:  Delicious!  Michelle and I had a Big Mac with bacon, an extra-large order of fries, shake….and  of course, an apple PIE!  I haven’t heard from Uppity in a while, but I did hear my arteries hardening.  *Mental note:  Stop by the angioplasty machine next to the Dr. Scholls foot massage in the plumbing aisle before I leave.

5:00 am:  I’ve been here for 5 hours and I haven’t done any Christmas shopping.  Time to find a shopping cart and head over to the electronics department to see what amazing “Black Friday” Deals are left!

Uppity was right. I should have packed some Purell.

5:30 am:  It’s taken me 1/2 hour to get to the Electronics Department. Whew! I'm in!

But it’ll be worth it.  I hear they have X-Box 360’s on sale!

SOLD OUT!! It figures!

6:00 am:  Well since I can’t find any good “Door Buster” deals.  I probably should just make my way home.    But Black Friday will not kill my Christmas Spirit!  How about a nice holiday tune?  It is after all, “The Most Wonderful Time of the Year!”

I wonder if there will be any leftover Thanksgiving PIE when I get home??

Did someone mention PIE?



361 Responses

  1. She transmitted! She’s alive!

    As I mentioned over in the other thread around 5 AM:

    imustlivethroughwalmart will be transmitting soon. I understand she is barricaded in the ladies room by a bunch of OWSers at this time and is carving her way out of the outside wall using a spoon. Uppityites ALWAYS figure out a way. For spite, she has removed all the toilet paper and soaked it in the sink. The OWSers are chanting WHOSE UPPITYITE! OUR UPPITYITE!
    She has badgered emailed me incessently all night, telling me her life was in danger, demanding to know where I am, and bitching and moaning about all the crap stuck to the bottom of her shoes. So I did the best thing I could do for me her. I ignored her.

    Stand by.

  2. Isn’t it wonderful how Michelle’s wardrobe always fits in so well at places like Target and Walmart?

  3. ROFLMAO! Excellent imust!
    The soup is on and you should have some right away to prevent any side effects of coming in contact with Black Friday shoppers AND OWSers. Or is it OWMers now?

    Uppity- I saw your question about the carcass- I don’t see why the bones would take up salt from the brine- (I do know the drippings are no good for gravy because of all the salt- or so I have heard)
    Proceed as usual with the stock making- taste it after it has been on for a while- if there is too much salt- use the old salt remover trick
    Add a potato- (a good sized one- cut in quarters) the potato will draw the salt. Pull the potato when it is cooked through and taste again. If there is still too much salt- repeat.

  4. The only store I will be shopping at today is the corner liquor store. I have enough left over turkey to last until Christmas.

  5. MyIq- lol- I am not going out at all! Crazy people out there! (Or should I say sheeple?) I did my liquor store run earlier this week.
    Saw on the news there was at least one shooting at a black friday event in the middle of the night. Plus the odd trampling here and there.
    Couldn’t get me to go shopping today if you held a gun to my head. But then, all my shopping for Christmas is done. Now it is just bake and ship!

  6. Thanks to Mom and I think Viv, for info on stock with a brined carcass. Just to be on the safe side, I will do a boil first and then change the water. I figure that should leach out most of the salt. Potato is excellent idea, too Mom. I might do that besides. I must admit this was my first brined turkey (that I know of!) and it was delicious. While I am not a white meat fan except for the sandwiches later, I did have some white meat and found it to be the first juicy turkey breast I have ever eaten. It was really kind of amazing. We had the stuffing outside the bird, which as you know, I find a terrible thing, but not this time. My cousin made her own stuffing, including the bread, not one processed thing in it, tons of spices, expecially fresh sage, and it was moist, dense and delicous, like the stuff in the bird. So I was happy, as I am one of those people who, when asked what was the best part of the meal, always says, The stuffing and mashed potatoes.

    The carcass is chock full of meat too, a little gift from her, as she knows she’s going to get half the stock anyways. I kind of hate to simmer up all that meat so I am about to go in and pull some off the bones for ala king or pot pies. We all know it’s the bones that give you the stock so why boil up so much meat, although the cats will probably put up some protest signs. lol.

  7. Hey Uppity – my fav thing is the stuffing as well. I make a stock from the neck and giblets ahead of time and use that to get the stuffing nice and moist. It really helps with the extra stuffing I cook outside the bird. lol.
    Lol on the white meat- I dislike dark meat (to the point it makes me gag) Daughter and her friend had dinner at the friend’s family first- then ours. They both said my turkey breast meat was moist and yummy. The other was apparently dry, and they had run out of flour (can’t imagine how the hell you run out of flour) and so there was no gravy. Geez- they had no bisquick or pancake mix or FCS cornstarch? How the hell do you have Thanksgiving without gravy?

    Did I mention that I am having my traditional black friday breakfast?
    Pie and coffee!

  8. Well we would eat well together then, Mom. I get the dark you get the light.

    I just tasted for salt in the first boiling and it’s not that salty so I am not going to drain and start over. If it does become saltier, I will do the potato thing.

    Threw in a big yellow onion, carrots and celery, bay leaf, a little thyme and we are off to a day of simmering. I am suddenly in the mood for some nice soup.

  9. (can’t imagine how the hell you run out of flour)

    LOL a bad sign.

    I think I’m going to throw some chicken stock in that pot after it starts to flavor up. Turkey broth never seems as powerful as chicken. I read that it’s because turkey bones contain much less collagen.

  10. My mother used to laugh when that collagen was being sold in creams for wrinkles. She would say, you want collagen for free? Rub some boiled chicken bones on your face. Hahahah.

    By the by, I make carcass soup in a pasta pot. I have a separate one for things like that because I don’t want to make pasta in the same pot. Anyways, the strainer insert makes taking most of the bones and stuff out much easier. Then all I have to do is run it through a mesh strainer again.

  11. I’m cracking up over that guy in the hospital gown. Just another day at Wally’s!

  12. I hope imust is back home and in bed. When I do doorbusters I like to get it over quick. Good thing she wasn’t in Myrtle Beach.

    No gravy? My favorite part of the meal is the gravy. I could not imagine having thanksgiving without gravy.

    Upps, your stock should be fine. If the meat wasn’t salty, your stock shouldn’t be.

  13. Uppity- skip the chicken stock- my secret to turkey stock is to throw a heaping spoonful of stuffing right in the stock pot. SSSHHHH

  14. Ayup on the gravy thing. They went there first. HAH! I win! Next year they will come here first! Like my daughter did not know better.

  15. I’ve been told I need to learn to live without salt.

    I’m not sure I can.

  16. HOLY JEEBUS! The turkey has the axe and he’s going after Ms Poppins and the gobbler sandwich!
    FF! Great job AGAIN!

  17. Myiq- the human body requires salt. Scientific fact. No can live without it.
    Of course- moderation is the key. Can’t be dumping a whole shaker of salt on everything lol. Try sea salt – not so bad for you.

  18. myiq, recently, medical science claims that salt is not bad for you. Like Mom said, moderation. I’ll see if I can dig up the articles. As usual, these people change their minds every ten years or so.

  19. GO header turkey!

  20. Excellent imust!

  21. I’m sure their doctors are all board certified and AMA approved!

    Yup. By the Wally Board. With the USDA seal of approval too!

  22. myiq, in fact, they now say that drastically cutting salt can cause heart attacks.

    Here are some recent links.

    From second link above:

    Pressure is building on food producers to cut back on salt in processed foods. But the question for many salt lovers is: Just how bad for your health are those tasty, flavor-enhancing crystals? A study published this month in the Journal of the American Medical Association came to the surprising conclusion that too much salt might not raise the risk of cardiovascular disease complications after all. Making matters even more confusing, death rates appeared to be higher in those with lower sodium levels.

  23. Yes Crier, after all, after spending a fortune on medical school loans, and interning and residencies, I am SURE most doctors would apply to Walmart for a job.

  24. You didn’t by chance get that info from the Walmart clinic did you?

  25. She even has her own organic vegetable garden on the White House Lawn that she planted with her own two hands!!

    Complete with assorted heavy metals. Nothing like getting a little extra nutrition whervever you can get it.

  26. Re sea salt and kosher salt. I could be off base here, but I find no difference between them and iodized salt while cooking, except that I get iodine in the latter, which is badly needed for the thyroid. Anyways, what I did find is a difference is salt on those things you salt before eating, such as a steak or french fries/home fries. Or eggs. Salads. Fresh tomatoes. Stuff like that. So I use kosher or sea on After Cooking things. I grind the sea salt in a pepper grinder.

  27. something about the surroundings makes me crave greasy food

    Ummmm. Fries. With ALLLLLLL that salt!

    Ronald does not agree with the concept of “moderation.”

  28. Oh please! That woman isn’t going to handle compost. Give me a break.

    We have La Crowza Nostra around here today. The gathering for The Trip to warmer climes I presume. My cat Joe is chattering to the point of insanity.

  29. LOL myiq, no walmart. AMA medical journals your doctor didn’t get around to reading this year.

  30. I’m not even a doctor but I can see why people have high blood pressure. The only people I know who have high blood pressure who aren’t overweight are people with a genetic predisposition who have it from a young age. People who tend ot have illnesses that cause water retention (acites, right, Crier?) have to hang off the salt for obvious reasons, but seriously I always thought the salt thing was just another medical fad. Like with eggs being the death of you with cholestoral.

    The truth is, they are all full of crap or they wouldn’t have tipped the food pyramid completely upside down after DECADES.

  31. Eh Crier, I make home fries and I use salt.

  32. Is there a doctor in the house?

    ……..clutching chest…

  33. I’ve been here for 5 hours and I haven’t done any Christmas shopping

    No worry. Being at a box store in the wee hours on Black Friday is the new definition of Christmans spirit here in the U.S. Pass on the good cheer! Pepper pray is apparently in vogue. A way to ensure ensnaring that electronics piece manufactured from lands far, far away. For just pennies on the Renminbi.

  34. Mom not having gravy for thanksgiving dinner is practically a felony.

  35. Live updates from the stampede at Macy’s who look a lot like the people at Walmart, only better dressed.

  36. Ascities,

    The medical condition is also known as peritoneal cavity fluid, peritoneal fluid excess, hydroperitoneum or more archaically as abdominal dropsy. Although most commonly due to cirrhosis and severe liver disease, its presence can portend other significant medical problems.


    Yes, UW. Looks like salt would act like a parched sponge and draw in water into an ascities belly, and make for lots of bloating.

  37. Well I got the ascities right Crier (except for speeeeling!). Whew! There’s the other one that swells the ankles and things, right? Forgot the name.

    Black Friday at Toys R Us.

  38. Hey! Where’s imust!!! Teachers don’t work the day after christmas. Do you think she’s still alive? Will I have to find another contributor?

  39. Walmart Shopers in Porter Ranch, apparently pepper sprayed by a shopper who needs to get first in line or something.

  40. I did hear my arteries hardening. *Mental note: Stop by the angioplasty machine

    A must for anyone considering giving their toughened tubes new life.

    Just think. Renovate ’em with a 5 minute job while en route to that great deal in housewares. Get some flashy and limber vessel flexing arteries at Black Friday prices! Let ’em hoist you up like they do in the auto garage, for a Rotorooter job, and you too can soon be on your way to another 100 years of blissful unclogged artery life.

    Batteries and pacemaker not included.

  41. Thursday night lineup for Black Friday ..times square.

  42. Walmart South Carolina

  43. Yeah I like that Walmart Angioplasty While You Wait deal.

  44. Careful now myiq. WM shoppers may soon be mowing each other down the aisles with those mega carts.

    On the other hand, maybe families could use them to contain their broods and wares all in one place as they dart about.

  45. A woman wildly pepper-sprayed customers dashing for doorbuster bargains inside the Porter Ranch Wal-Mart Thursday night just 10 minutes after the store opened.

    A fleeing victim cried “My eyes, my eyes,” according to a witness sending a Twitter message. The fight was reportedly over an Xbox 360 video game.

    “This was customer-versus-customer ‘shopping rage,'” Los Angeles Police Lt. Abel Parga told the Los Angeles Times.

    Los Angeles firefighters came to the aid of 20 injured customers, LAFD spokesman Shawn Lenske said. Injuries were minor, he said.

    “A woman with two children in tow became upset with the way people were pushing in line. The witness said she pulled out pepper spray and sprayed the other people in line,” NBC4 reported. Police were said to be reviewing security tape.

    “The female suspect was waiting with other shoppers for some items
    wrapped in plastic to be released for sale at 10 p.m.,” Officer P. Rimkunas told City News Service. “At 10, when the plastic was ripped off, she sprayed.”

    LOL! See above video on this.

  46. LOL on the gravy felony Uppity! Especially as they told me the turkey was dry to boot! BWAHAHAHAHA!
    That will teach my daughter! Over the river and through the woods- to MY house they go!
    Next year they will eat here and go be polite and put in an appearance at the other place.
    Oh did I mention that the friend’s Aunt is supposedly a pastry chef?
    My pies were better too!
    BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Edumakashion and a fancy piece of paper from a culinary school?
    Years of experience and love trumps all!

  47. Speaking about angioplasties, how much authentic whip cream is appropriate for pumpkin pie?

    A two inch layer covering the entire surface seems quite apropos.

  48. imustreport in!

    We are worried that you are surely expired.

  49. Well if gravy is a felony, then let’s let the smokehouse rip.

  50. Imust is recuperating in the WM recovery room bay on a stretcher. They just arrived with a tray of Ronald’s chicken mcnugs, apple pies, and an IV of sugar water to improve her glycemic index. “Imustcontinueshopping” was overheard while the resuscitation crew was at work on her.

  51. Imust was shopping with one of myiq’s mega shppong carts, which lead to rapid shoppers fatigue, and thus, a trip to the WM McClinic. Kind of like the Nascar pit stop for WM shoppers. Fix ’em up, and then toss ’em back into the race.

    But fear not. “imustcontinue blogging” was also heard upon reentry into the WM fiendish search for “stuff.”

  52. Ah well at least she’s alive! Thank God Karen wasn’t there with her, she would have never gotten those mcnuggets!

  53. Crier, one can never have enough whipped cream on pumpkin pie. That’s Written somewhere. The two inch layer is only a good start.

  54. Hey now. Ahem. She can have all the nuggets she can gobble up.

    I DO NOT eat fast food at all. Unless of course you count me briskly running out of back doors with my arms full of home cooked meals.

  55. LOL Mom, you can count on them at your house on Thanksgiving from now on.

    Culinary school my ass. I went to a free culinary school. My mother and grandmother’s school of “If you have a problem sticking your hands in the ingredients, you will never be a good cook”.

  56. AYFKM? Sharpton is grateful for- wait for it- wait for it…….
    Occupy Wall Street.

  57. Mom, I just gave the pot a taste and it’s not salty at all. This stock is smelling reallllllllllly good. I’m just past hour 2.

  58. Apparently, Ronald lurks on this site, and heard about Karen’s crave. Thus, a new moniker was borne. “Karen-ize” it for the mcnuggets.

  59. Umm, Ronald misunderstood. It is now “Karen-ize” it only on home cooked meals.

  60. Culinary school my ass. I went to a free culinary school. My mother and grandmother’s school of “If you have a problem sticking your hands in the ingredients, you will never be a good cook”.

    Hey- we are sister alumna! I attended the same school!
    A toast to the Grandmother and Mother cooks the world over!

  61. I worked last night and we chipped in and had a feast.

    I put a pile of whipped cream on my platter size servings of various pies last night and dabbled at whim.

    Apple crumb won my heart but the pumpkin is traditional and has a sentimental value so came in second place. The home made chocolate cake was yummy.

    Someone baked a “confetti box mix” cake in a bunt pan, put a can of disgusting faux chocolate icing on it and it was so icky that all the left over plates tossed in the trash had a piece of that cake on them.

  62. Gee, those pots are wafting clear across America now, UW and PMM. You two are killing us with anticipation.

  63. Ah well Uppity- my daughter was trying to be polite- and allow her friend to visit her family first. (snicker snicker- I think she planned it all along- so the friend would get the best last and therefore never have this issue again.)

  64. Okay let’s vote. For the soup today, barley or rice?

  65. Box cake. Shiver.

    Don’t invite them again.

  66. HAHAH “Karen-ize It!”.

  67. I like barley with beef, but with turkey I prefer rice or noodles.

  68. My grandmother had secret ingredients and tricks. She guarded them by never writing them down. Before she got “too old” she pulled me into the kitchen and step by step made her famous chicken soup. It really is a zen like process. Be one with the simmering pot. A little of this a little of that.

    Magic and love are the best ingredients.

  69. They are really cute and chewy healthy bites.

  70. Potatoes.
    I very very rarely put rice in soup. Barley I use in beef vegetable.
    Sometimes I use teeny tiny little pastas in turkey or chicken soup. But only rarely.
    Scots/Irish/German Jew
    They stick with you!

  71. Mom shall I tell them the sun dried tomato trick or should I leave them hanging?

  72. karen-

    . Be one with the simmering pot. A little of this a little of that.

    Ah- yes! I see you passed your classes in Grandmother’s cooking school!

  73. I like rice in chicken soup. I grew up on it. I prefer it to pasta sometimes.

    As for potatoes, I learned this chickarina soup recipe from my grandmother…from depression to stretch it. Delicious.

    potatoes and chick peas in the chicken soup. It’s delicious.

  74. Uppity- See who bids the highest for that secret!

  75. upps, it was a co-worker and it was an organized “bring a dish” buffet for 20 of us stuck working last night. The rest of the people cooked up a storm. Some of us just chipped in cash for the extras. I didn’t cook anything but I surely could have done better than that vile faux chocolate.

    I specialize in eating. As if you didn’t know.

    Imustcleanthewholehouse and dragoutmychristmasdecorations today.

    The furniture won’t dust itself. Time to work off the gravy stuck in my belly fat.

  76. Ok we’re split on the barley vs rice.

    I really don’t think this is going to last to dinnertime. I’m trolling for Lunch Soup.

  77. Uppity- See who bids the highest for that secret!

    Good idea!

  78. upps, it was a co-worker

    Next time plan while she’s in the ladies room!

    Even worse is a dinner where you busted your ass to make dessert and somebody shows up with a pie from the supermarket. Now you have to serve their pie too and pretend you want to eat it.

  79. LOL Uppity- truth be told- my stock has been slow simmering all night! I always strip the carcass down after dinner (so I can fit all the leftovers in the fridge.) It is about ready now.

  80. Rice. Barley. Rice. Barley. I hate these executive decisions!

  81. Oxtail soup. Yum. Gotta make that this winter.

  82. HAH! You have to head them off at the pass those people who bring store made junk! Give them something to bring that they can not mess up. A gallon of cider. A half gallon of eggnog. The mixers for cocktails- soda type things or juices.
    Works every time. They are GOING to bring something. We all know who they are. SO call them ahead and invite their “help.” Makes them feel good- and you assign them an item that won’t mess anything else up!

  83. Uppity- divide the stock in half. Rice today, barley tomorrow.

  84. Mom, Italians never tell anybody to bring anything. In fact, they insist you don’t. So sooner or later, somebody does it anyways.

  85. WTF NY State. OT, but ludicrous. I am due for my car registration renewal. With the state practically bankrupt some moron had a brain fart to change the color of the plates back to that putrid bright yellow and dark blue from the 60s. Anyways, they send me the renewal form and actually think I would want to give them $90 for a new putrid yellow plate. My other choice is to keep the same color but get a new one or keep my current plate for a song. Now I ask you, which do you think I chose.

    Furthermore, now NYS has TWO plates by which you identify a New Yorker. Dumb shits.

  86. OT but important.

    Huge Tahrir Square protests. Murbarak’s guy is prime minister now. Square One for them. And boo f***king hoo for The Brotherhood.

  87. I prefer the song myself.

    Upps, is that wild rice? I read somewhere, it could have been here. You simmer the bones, not boil. I always do mine right after the kitchen is cleaned up. Yes PMM, it does make for more room in the fridge.

    I’m with ya on the store bought goodies. I like mine homemade. I made some of that banana bread a couple of weeks ago, and took some to work. One of the women at work told me it was better than store bought. REALLY??? I wouldn’t know.

    Where is imust. I hope she’s okay.

  88. !!!IMUST!!! FABULOUS!!!

    The email from Uppity to “herpieness”…

    Hi imust! I’ll be there shortly. Can you check out the Walmart Clinic while you’re there?

    …had me rolling through the pics!

    Perfect! Loved it! Thanks!!!

  89. Never store wild rice and virgin olive oil in the same cupboard.

  90. Awww, Uppity, I *like* the new bright yellow plates. They’re retro! I got them for my car last year.

  91. Huge Tahrir Square protests. Murbarak’s guy is prime minister now. Square One for them. And boo f***king hoo for The Brotherhood.

    What a surprise. Here’s our version:

    Democrats or Republicans?

  92. 😆 great post IMUST.
    and with turkey I prefer rice

  93. imust: fantastic!

    I regret to admit that I’m actually going to the mall today. It’s a “tradition.” My Mom and sister insist. They have been there since the early hours. I meet them for lunch and then proceed to observe the mayhem, with mom & sis being participants. I don’t usually buy a thing (mostly because my car is parked far away and I don’t want to carry anything to it). When you’re not looking for bargains or to get anything done on your Christmas list, it really is a great experience, from an anthropological perspective.

    I’ll be looking for imust’s tent. Since she’s in the store, I’ll join the after-party in the tent. Who’s tent?

  94. Your post is so awesome, imust, that I annoyed my fellow Starbuxians giggling all the way through. However, I need brain bleach after seeing that view of a hairy butt peeping through the gown.

    The best FB status this morning was “Don’t look now but China is smiling.”

    I’m having a nice time at Bux reading and relaxing while these crazy fools barge and push and spray and fight their way through stores for things. THINGS, people. There’s good reason why we instituted the donations to Heifer International at Christmas for the adults.

    I scored enough turkey from the SIL that I’m making turkey tostadas for dinner tonight. I have tortillas I have to use or lose anyway.

    Happy greedy bastards day! 🙂

  95. Occupyxmas? That’s their new name.

    Though the activities are set to begin Friday—the traditional start to the holiday season that kicks off early in the morning with a blizzard of discounts—they are part of a larger protest known as OccupyXmas that will continue through Dec. 25.

    Now I’m really starting to worry about imust. I hope they didn’t occupy her.

  96. Comedy gold, imust! No question, you have a gift.

  97. Vivien if they do occupy her it won’t mean a thing. Since nothing they do has an effect on anything. Never has so much noise and bodily waste meant to little to so many. But it does give a much needed vacation to their parents and a chance to fumigate their basements.

  98. it really is a great experience, from an anthropological perspective.


    Who’s tent?

    Our tent!

  99. What a surprise. Here’s our version:

    Democrats or Republicans?

    Except neither of them executes women for non offenses and offenses they didn’t commit –and treats them one step below goats — and forces them to wear hefty trash bags on their bodies. Yet.
    Keyword: yet.

  100. Hey sleepy, good luck with that putrid yellow plate that will stick out like a turd in a punchbowl no matter which color yoru car is. Your state government appreciates the extra money to wast on their friends.

  101. Never store wild rice and virgin olive oil in the same cupboard.

    This could become a very messy sexual assault.

  102. Hi imust! I’ll be there shortly

    I lied. I can do that. It’s my blog.

  103. That’s true vivien. You do not boil it. And you skim early and often to keep it from becoming cloudy. Also boiling contributes to cloudiness.

    ANY banana bread is better than store bought. that stuff is vile.

  104. NICE! 108 comments by lunch!
    Hey Uppity- should we do a “head count”? That way we can find out who the Black Friday Shoppers are here on the blog. They can then take out lists next year!

  105. Yeah Mom! Who’s missing. They are our Black Friday shoppers!!!!

    You can run but you can’t hide!

  106. OMG NES. Hilarious. That’s what I call fighting back! And at least she didn’t let him go to waste!

    Hope she fed some of him to the dog!

    Hey, that’s your hometown!

  107. Well wasn’t he just worth saving. She had a teenaged daughter with a first husband and the freak she boiled wanted to divorce her and marry her daughter. F*cking swine.

  108. My sister gets me to go every year. She said she wasn’t going this year. Maybe because I needed a new tv. I didn’t go. I think the deals will be better if I wait.

    I’m making soup for supper. I’m thinking about rolling out some homemade noodles. Yum.

    Yeah, who the hell eats store bought banana bread. It doesn’t even sound right.

  109. Agree on the deals later, Viv. I want to buy another TV for the kitchen and will be doing that in a few days.

  110. LOL on the Tv’s. Ours are ancient by modern standards. The newest one dates from 2002. If it ain’t broke It ain’t getting replaced!

  111. I didn’t tell you I found some crap in my mailbox from the Obama campaign. They’re looking for money. There was a bumper sticker in there. What the hell am I gonna do with that?

  112. vivien- return to sender? Put the heaviest thing you can find in the envelope and send it back “return to sender”

  113. imustpost…..imustpost….imustpost………………….still groggy……weird dreams……..blurry………I see blue….yellow….more blue……..lots of noise…..bright lights………..imust…………………….

  114. imust! Here dear, have a nice gobbler sandwich, some restorative eggnog and some-

    Great post!
    Imustdeclare! This is one hell of a great post!

  115. i….i….imust…
    you look older!

  116. Yeah, use the return envelope (I’m sure they are pimping for money), Vivien, and send them a penny taped to it. Drop it in the litterbox first. Don’t forget to leave a note.

  117. Same deal here on TVs Mom. The one we have is fading in and out, about to bite the dust.

  118. I tried digging myself out of the Walmart bathroom all night with a WalMcDonald’s spork.

  119. Ah a spork! Sharper than a spoon! Good thinking!

  120. I never go to walmart. do they really have a Mickey D’s?

  121. Imust! Poor thing! What a sacrifice you have made for the blog!
    Uppity and I are taking attendance. That way we know who is out shopping. Next year’s shopping lists should be ready for them by Halloween!

  122. After chowing down on Big Macs with Michelle and all those Little Debbie cakes……I couldn’t fit through the hole!!!

  123. Yeah but those little debbies can keep you filled up in a pinch, right? And they get in between your teeth and everything. Great for your Walmart smile.

  124. Yup on the TV Uppity- the one in the living room is getting weird color fluctuations. Not buying a new one til it dies. I just hate sending that money right overseas.
    Ah for the days of American made. The new ones are just too techie for me. Flat screen, Wi-Fi, digital, hi-def.
    Don’t need. Just need a basic box that will give me the local news and NE Patriot football and some old movies.

  125. imust, I have a question. I saw a pic of Barack and Michelle having breatfast in 2008 on the trail and she was talking with her mouth full. Did she do that with you? Was food flying out and everything? Did she pay? I hear the Obamas are cheap.

  126. I finally squeezed my way in and got stuck!!!!!! The OWmarters were chanting…..Whose tunnel? Our tunnel!! And not one of them could help me because they were busy doing hand signals trying to decide what to do!!!!

  127. Did they down twinkle you when you escaped? And do a mic check?

  128. I just use a little one in the kitchen Mom. For when I’m cooking and in the morning over coffee and the news.

  129. Uppity I had to sign an affidavit with the Secret Service and the OFA that I wouldn’t disclose any details….but I’ll say this…shhh….never get between Michelle and a Supersize box of fries……that’s all I can say…okay and this…..let’s just say I had to visit the WalClinic for a few stitches on my hand after trying to sneak a fry from her…..


  131. Mine is broke. The cable guy has about 20 cables coming out of the back. He had to rig it up after an electrical storm went through my cable. The picture is crappy, but it’s working. I had a storm roll through that took out my modem, router, blu-ray, and my new tower. The computer was still under warranty. Fried the cable box, and put a hurtin on the tv. I could have kissed the cable guy, he got it working. He said the HD cable in it is fried. I could probably get by with it the way it is, but one of my roommate’s has offered to help me pay for a new one. I’ll take all the help I can get.

  132. Vivien..two words…

    Surge Protectors.

  133. Gonna go share some soup. See yas later.

  134. vivien- the only reason we have one as new as 2002 is because of an electrical issue. The neutral on the mast went bad- and sent live up both sides of the circuit coming in to the house. Stupid me saw the smoke coming out of the outlets and ran down and threw the main. Shit- could have had a whole new house.
    Instead I got upgraded electrical (commercial box) and a new stereo and tv- courtesy the insurance company.

  135. LOL on the surge protectors Uppity- when we had that issue it fried THREE of ours. Did not get the puter though. But the surge protectors were BLACK.
    Scary stuff after the fact. If it had happened during the night the house prob would have burned to the ground with us in it as I would not have been awake to see the smoke coming from the outlets.

  136. Mom, different protectors are for different things. The one for TV and electronics is not the same as the computer one. They are also generally have warranties against damage.

  137. Poor imust. That looks like a prison cell. Not that I would know what one looks like. Thank Dog you got out of there alive.

    PMM, mine only went through the cable. I need a new blu-ray, but I’m asking Santa for one of those. Everything else except the tv have been replaced. Oh yeah, I did invest in a good surge protector. Hopefully I won’t go through that again.

  138. Imustsay, the was an excellent front line report. Iamsure Uppity was glad to have the chance to take a break from her traditional eyewitness reporting on Back Friday (sorry she was unable to get your Starbucks order to you but then with all those OWSers about, Starbucks probalby closed up to protect their restrooms).

    Thanks for that peek into the Wally Clinics. The gang form the Mayo Clinics must be out today taking notes on how to do things the Wally Way.

    Speaking of mayo (of a different sort), Imustbejealous because you even got to spend some quality time with Michelle and her fries. Although Imustbe guessing that her fries were not long for this world. Were you able to protect your own nutritious snack from being confiscated by FLOTUS on the grounds that she can eat whatever she wants but youmustnot?

  139. Mt. Laurel so true on the difficulty of keeping my own McMeal. Between McMichelle going on in legalize…Mcmumbling something about “eminent domain”…I think that’s what she said, hard to tell she was saying……and the OWmarters chanting, “Whose french fries? Our french fries!!” I’m lucky to have enjoyed even one healthy Mcmorsel!

  140. The newspeople are calling the lady with the pepper spray at Walmart a “competitive shopper”. I saw this in a comment. I call it:
    Ode to Competitive Shoppers:

    ‘Twas a month before Christmas and I’m 12th in line.
    There’s only one Xbox remaining but that sucker’s mine!
    I break out the pepper spray, aiming for the eyes.
    Those WalMart shoppers, they scattered like flies.
    Writhing on the ground, lots of crying and drools.
    Merry Christmas to all, I got the last XBox you fools!

  141. What’s up with the header? I thought that turkey was cooked. It looks like he has been resurrected. Things don’t look good for Mary. That doesn’t look like a turkey samich, looks like bologna to me. But Bill looks happy. So, I guess nothing else matters.

  142. imust say, that’s funny.

  143. Who’s pepper spray. That’s what you needed. It would have worked better than that spork.

  144. I’m putting pepper spray in my Zombie Survival Kit as we speak vivien.

  145. Soup was delicious! Hit the spot.

  146. ok now about the sundried tomato secret. I put a few sundried tomatoes in my stock pot (NOT in oil). The reason I do this is, when you mix red and yellow, you get orange, right? Well when you mix lotsa yellow and just a little red like what leaches out of the sundried tomatoes, you get Golden soup. Just saying.

  147. I could have used some soup standing at line at Walmart.

  148. hey imust…….if I weren’t so damned beached from eating, I’d go back and join wally’s third shift cleanup squad. I bet I could learn a lot.

  149. Clean up would probably be similar to the OWS clean up an Zucchini Park.

  150. I’m checking in from WORK. I see you are checking up on who is out shopping and it isn’t me. I was lucky to get called in, making a few bucks for Goofs catnip habit. 😉

  151. goof, I hate to tell you this…..YOU may not be shopping….but your cat IS!

  152. imust, have you seen the black friday bingo card floating around on fb? I’d post it if I knew how.

  153. This:

  154. That’s the one.

  155. LOL and Darn! Could have used that in the post! Maybe Uppity will assign you to the Walmart Black Friday post detail next year and you can use it!

  156. Yikes!! Naughty kitteh… 😯

  157. It doesn’t look like a game many around here are willing to play.

  158. Yeah, save it for next year. Me???? She wouldn’t do that to me, would she? I’d be the one getting carted off by the po po. Shots fired. That would be me.

  159. Don’t worry about being carted off vivien……that’s why we have a blog attorney on retainer!

  160. Dang!! Poor goof, has to do his own shopping.

  161. Brava imust!!! Hysterically funny post! You did a fantastic job anddeservesomepie! Love the thread too! I was also wondering about barley or rice, the guys wanted boring noodles, but now I’m thinking about wild rice.

  162. NES kind of scares me. It’s a crow thing.

  163. Mom, what does putting stuffing in the stock pot do?

  164. That sandwich in the header looks like it only has lettuce and tomato on it.

  165. I love the word “spork”. Now that will be in my head all day!

  166. Those are tomatoes? I thought it looked like bologna.

  167. socal, I was wondering about the stuffing myself. I’m sure it adds to the goodness. Kind of like the sun dried tomatoes.

  168. socal- the stuffing melts down and acts as a thickener and a spice packet. Gives it just a little extra body. It was serendipity the first time. There was a bit of stuffing left in the carcass that I missed. I decided to leave it in- it came out so good I have been doing it ever since. Just a spoonful- the rest goes on my gobbler sandwiches!

  169. I’m pretty sure there’s something else in that samitch. Looks like a familiar head sticking out the top.

    That turkey is a carnivore.

  170. Karen! OMG! Are you thinking that is a- a- *splutter* POPPINS sandwich?
    And I think turkeys are like chickens- eat anything. Omniverous and cannibalistic chickens are.

  171. Oh, I get it, Poppins is in the sandwich. Thanks karen! I’m dense today.

  172. karen, I think you’re right. It’s a Mary samich. And, she looks happy about it too.

  173. socal, karen is the only one that got it out loud. I’ve looked at it 20 times trying to figure it out.

  174. I make a weird but delish turkey salad. I make two kinds, one is the traditional savory way with real mayo and the other is sweet.

    For the sweet one I chop the turkey (or chicken) and toss it with soft tender raisins (they can be soaked if not too fresh) , miracle whip till moistened (some people hate MW, I know). Then stir in smashed up left over cranberry sauce till pink and tangy.

    Serve on whole wheat.

    I used to get a chicken salad sandwich on a bagel from a diner in NY that specialized in take out for office workers. And their food was different and always enjoyable. They charged a fortune for a sandwich so I figured out what they put in it and made my own at home.

    I switch back and forth. Sometimes make it traditional but today it is pink and sweet and yummy.

  175. Ditto on the thanks PMM. You might turn me into a good cook yet. My mom doesn’t cook. My dad’s the cook.

  176. thanks karen, my hubbie will love that sandwich. He loves raisins and sweet stuff with chicken or turkey sandwichs. My husband hates shopping, hates the mall, especially hates going out of the house on Black Friday, but he’s been out all day looking to see if the guitar he wants to get me is on sale anywhere. Poor sap.

    Its supposed to be 78 at Malibu on Sunday. I could use a beach picnic day.

    viv, thanks for the wild rice idea.

  177. Except neither of them executes women for non offenses and offenses they didn’t commit –and treats them one step below goats — and forces them to wear hefty trash bags on their bodies. Yet.
    Keyword: yet.

    ‘Would if they could’ is close enough for me, Uppity.

  178. Mmmm karen. That sounds yummy. I’m a hellmanns person, but certain things need miracle whip.

  179. Both my parents cooked, loved food, and loved to experiment. It was great. When I was 13, a girlfriend & I made them a gourmet dinner for their anniversary with Bananas Flambe for dessert. When it was over, the kitchen & nook had dirty dishes in every possible spot. It looked like a movie scene or something.

  180. viv, well said. Hellman’s is called Best Foods here on the left coast.

  181. NES:

    Here’s the good news on the crow – there will be no shortage of recipes here – we can have an entire buffet of crow dishes! lol.

  182. Why Not?, excellent point!

  183. Well there’s one where we differ, Mom. We finally found one! I do not like any stuffing anywhere near my broth. I never make soup using the cavity of a chicken if it’s been stuffed. I just don’t like what it does to the color, texture and taste. Give it to karen!

  184. Oh yum…I have to eat the crow with NES. Oh well, after the ridiculous OWS movement dies, hopefully a better one will take its place. Didn’t the phoenix rise from ashes?

  185. Why Not?, I think utah has planned on a crow and mushroom stew for NES. She posted the recipe here. It looked pretty good. She posted three different recipes and NES chose that one.

    Hellmanns rocks. That’s the mayonnaise the Barefoot Contessa uses. She doesn’t hide the label. And when she talks about adding mayo, she says use “good” mayonnaise.

  186. Didn’t the phoenix rise from ashes?

    That would be smoked crow, socal.

    When it comes time for me to look that crow in the eye over my own early hopes for OWS, I’ll be thinking caviar – and what I can make from the carcass. lol.

  187. I have the stash of crows. We have La Crowza Nostra on our property right now. Apparently, this is a designated meeting place for them as they gather for migration. It looks like a hitchcock movie out there.

  188. I use Hellman’s in my savory traditional style chicken salad. It also is the best for tuna salad and even some macaroni-tuna salads.

    I also make two kinds of summer macaroni salad – one regular with Hellman’s and the other sweet with sweet relish and Miracle Whip.

    Also it goes great with crow… and since OWS has now decided to occupy Christmas and retail stores they are sure to lose some supporters. How can anyone be so hypocritical? Are they so childish that they refuse to live in the real world? As bad as it is there isn’t another option, seriously.

    Where do they think their tents come from? Are they going to never buy anything from any company in their lives – even if all their camping in public spaces produce babies? Of course not, they’ll be shopping for pampers and rattles and hi-chairs with their parents charge cards.

    Bunch of jerks. There was a vid of a few of them saying they aren’t anti-capitalism. Then they went on to list their objectives which are clearly against the free market system. They are going to barter used stuff rather than ever buy new stuff. I just don’t get it. Where the hell do they come up with these freaking ignorant ideas all the time.

    BTW – Imust – the bathroom scene was hysterical – with the human mic. I was rotflmao. Both of your posts were a riot. Excellent job, girl.

  189. I think utah has planned on a crow and mushroom stew for NES. She posted the recipe here. It looked pretty good. She posted three different recipes and NES chose that one.

    NES: You caved before we got recipes for crow hors d’oeuvres and a gloating pie! I’m calling for a mediation, ASAP!

  190. There is a pie.

    imust, karen is right. I do find myself agreeing with her often.

  191. Hahahaha on the spork!

  192. Seriously, the food discussions around here – complete with recipes – are so informative, enjoyable and quite impressive, given the variety of cuisine discussed.

  193. Gloating Pie. Hmmmmmm. I like it.

    And I’m sorry Karen but I simply could not eat macaroni or potato salad made with miracle whip. I’m gagging just thinking about it. A few times in my life I was served one of these salads with miracle whip, and I remember every one of them.

    You look at that salad and have no idea that foul stuff has hijacked it from mayo. To this day, I smell macaroni and potato salad first.

  194. LOL Uppity! Well we were bound to differ on something sometime! I think the little bit of stuffing gives it that little something. lol
    The soup is ready for straining now. Sending some broth to one of my daughter’s friends Moms- she landed in the hospital this week with pulmonary embolisms in both lungs. She is gonna be ok- they are giving her meds to dissolve the clots but she is very nauseous. The broth should be just the thing. Has to be better than hospital food for sure!

  195. I’m less scary if you retain me, Vivien.

  196. WHy Not, we have some very accomplished cooks here so not too much time goes by before we are off on a unique recipe binge again.

  197. She keeps me out of legal trouble, Vivien. For free!

  198. Yeah, I really like my Best Foods Mayo also. Why DO they call it Best Foods on one coast & Hellmans on the other? Here’s another odd little story, at the golf course I worked at, there were two millionaires that golfed e v e r y single day. They both lost tons of money when that Black Thursday (?) hit–remember, when the stock market fell so bad in the 80s. Anyway, they were both from the right coast and loved Hellmans and ate tons of it. Always ordered extra on the side of everything. One of them decided to move to England so he could golf all over England & Scotland & when he got there he was horrified that there was no Hellmans to be found. So his buddy kept sending it to him. Sent him mayo from So Cal to England for a couple of years. Then the England guy came home after he found out he had a daughter in her 20s that he never knew about!

  199. I detest Hellman’s. Any brand BUT Hellman’s!
    The only salad I eat with mayo is potato salad. And only if I make it with my Dad’s recipe. No eggs, no relish allowed. Potatoes, onion, salt pepper and the mayo based dressing with Dad’s secret ingredient.
    Pasta salad I can do- but not with mayo. Pasta, black olives, cheese, ham, turkey, onion- and a vinaigrette.
    Keep all chicken, turkey, egg and ham salad away from me. The sight of it- shudder!

  200. Socal- that’s funny about shipping the mayo. Back home in MA we have a thing called “Fluff”- sickly sweet marshmallow stuff you spread on a sandwich with Peanut butter. called a “Fluffernutter.” My oldest is not a big sweet eater- but he likes Fluff. NOT Marshmallow Creme. He was horrified to find out he could not get it anywhere but in New England and the Commissary stopped carrying it. So the family has been shipping Fluff all over the world for about 15 yrs now.

  201. socal wheh Hellman’s advertises they never sing Bring Out The Best Foods and Bring Out The Best!

    you sure it’s Hellman’s? They’re national, but then California is wierd, right? Maybe Hellman’s doesn’t want anybody to know they are in California?

  202. We have fluff here Mom. Not that I would even imagine eating it.

    I’m not a marshmallow fan to begin with.

  203. Miracle Whip makes me shudder. I call it Latex Mayo.

  204. But macaroni salad and pasta salad are not the same thing. Pasta salad is done with, like you said, a viniagrette type dressing. I like to add tuna to it.

    Macaroni salad is with mayo. I like to add tuna to that too.

    Eh, what can I tell you.

    I’m with ya on the miracle whip Why Not? MacDonalds puts it on their big mac “special sauce” you know.

  205. Speaking of Canadian Honey… I had it for the first time yesterday – it was so good!

    Back to regular programming.

  206. I’m sharpening my appetite, WhyNot.

  207. That would be smoked crow, socal.

    When it comes time for me to look that crow in the eye over my own early hopes for OWS, I’ll be thinking caviar – and what I can make from the carcass. lol.


    We want crow-stock-based soup too!!!!

  208. So, MacDonalds uses Miracle Whip? Why am I not surprised. No fan of them, either.

  209. Wait, wait. Stew yes, but also hors d’oeuvres and pie. And soup.

  210. Tofu with marshmallow sauce and a dollop of mayo atop the whole.

  211. NES: You did catch Uppity’s revelation about bringing home the Turkey carcass and what all she can do with it???

    Sorry, but a lawyer is no match for this woman. lol!

  212. Don’t encourage them, NES – they’ll be posting a recipe for Crow Feathers Under Glass before this whole thing is over. lol.

  213. Okay – I am so “J” about the cooking knowledge around here – in my kitchen, I call you CHEFS!

  214. We could prepare the crow like Tita did with the Quail in Like Water For Chocolate. With the rose sauce.

  215. I just read an article about BO putting Biden in charge of Ohio, Penn and Florida. Well, that is surely a sign that he is realizing he is cooked in those three places. He is on shaky ground in bitter-clinger territory. The people who did vote for him regret it and now they do not care to discuss politics.

    I know Upps thinks he’s going to win in 2012 and others here do too. I’m not so sure. Although he has nobody worth a damn as his rival he’s become more obvious to many people who were fooled in 2008.

  216. Have a good weekend all.

    Again, great post imust!

    And have loved the Thanksgiving headers, FF!

  217. You tell it, Why Not! Who wants a lawyer around when you can get a gourmet meal?

    Yes, McD uses miracle whip. I have this habit of tasting everything that’s in food. Then, depending on if I love it or hate it, I either go home and make it or I make sure I never go to that place again.

  218. Whynot- lol- check out the poverty recipe tab. You’ll see that we have quite a few creative cooks here. Do try Uppity’s Vesuvius Chicken and her Ribs. Both recipes are in that tab. Which one of these days I am going to get around to organizing. lol Sometimes I go in to ferret out a time stamp for a recipe for someone- but I get lost reading all the good stuff.
    OOHH do not miss Socal’s recipes either.
    Socal- it was you with the Baklava was it not? And isn’t it almost time for some of that?

  219. “Maybe Hellman’s doesn’t want anybody to know they are in California?”

    Haha! That’s probably it! I think there’s a tea sold on the Right Coast that has a different name out here also.

  220. NES honey, I’ll oversee things and make it all taste like Bouillabaisse. You’ll hardly even notice the crow.

  221. I bet I could make crow soup. Poultry is poultry.

  222. I just read an article about BO putting Biden in charge of Ohio, Penn and Florida. Well, that is surely a sign that he is realizing he is cooked in those three places. He is on shaky ground in bitter-clinger territory. The people who did vote for him regret it and now they do not care to discuss politics.

    Wow Karen! That’s a sign he knows his goose may be cooked, but good. Happy days are here again, fingers crossed….

  223. Speaking of honey Why Not, what we have going on in this country is all those african killer bees are coming here and taking jobs away from American bees.

  224. Uppity- maybe crow Vesuvius? And you are right on the crow soup- a stock is a stock after all.

  225. You’re welcome to feed us quail with rose sauce but crow???
    NES, you need to do some mediating here. I really don’t want to eat crow. Damn OWSers!

    btw, I’ve heard of Fluff. I’ve heard its used for other things…ahem…cough, cough.

  226. Forgot the Biden link. We are “targets” now. Of Biden. Can things get worse? Yes they can!

  227. Yes, like Tita! Claro que si!

  228. I love Canadian honey! Also honey from New Zealand! Yum! There a thick white Canadian honey called White Gold. Delicious! Hubbie loves it.

  229. She keeps me out of legal trouble, Vivien. For free!

    I can believe that. Who keeps her out of trouble? lol

  230. I was just wondering yesterday if I should attempt the baklava or not. I guess laker could help me. We spending Cmas at a friends house (they have a ranch in Ojai! So cool!) & all they asked me to bring is fruit salad.

  231. Just stick around Why Not and you will be a chef in no time. We give great instructions.

  232. OOOOOOOoo that cobbler. OOOoooooooooooo. I got a twinge.

    And hell, I can make it with vermont honey.

    I tell ya. When there’s apples and walnuts, I’m in. walnuts were made for fruit. Had cranberries yesterday with apples, walnuts and orange. Holy cripes.

  233. Socal

    I’ve heard its used for other things…ahem…cough, cough.

    HAHAHA! I heard the same thing about Hellman’s- heard it was popular in the “movie” industry out there. *cough* *cough*

  234. “like Tita did with the Quail in Like Water For Chocolate. With the rose sauce…”

    Ahhh, NES, leave to Uppity to come up with a recipe from a forbidden love story. lol.

  235. Hey I thought they used butter, not mayo.

  236. LOL on the cobbler Uppity- and you COULD caramelize the honey…….

  237. Oh wait….you mean the final product. Nevermind.

  238. I can believe that. Who keeps her out of trouble? lol

    A buncha partners.

  239. Why Not you need to check out our recipe tab.

  240. Ooooooooo baklava. Never made it. Got a friend who makes it though and I get it from her. I make really good spanakopita though. And souvlaki, which I crave. As you know, Greek is my fav.

  241. *cough* *cough*

    Okay, it took me a few minutes. I have a friend that won’t eat mayo for that very reason.

  242. I heard about the fluff from movie industry people. They’re all pervy.

  243. “Cough, Cough”

    I suppose you’re not referring to using mayo as a conditioner for my hair? Am I right?

  244. I would think that egg whites in hot water for five seconds would be more realistic.

  245. Uppity Note: Never eat mayo or runny egg whites again.

  246. NES if you recall, Tita’s sister ran off nekkid after tasting it.

  247. NES honey, I’ll oversee things and make it all taste like Bouillabaisse. You’ll hardly even notice the crow.

    Thanks Upps, it’s scaaaaaary.

  248. Socal, a deal’s a deal! But, never despair, we haven’t lost the bet yet. (Secret: we didnt define the time period in which we must be proved wrong.)

  249. You haven’t lost a bet yet?


  250. Oh you were talking about fluff? I thought it was mayo.

  251. Yes yes, that’s it, Why Not. Conditioner.

  252. LOVE Baklava. I worked for a Greek family long long ago. They thought I was too skinny. Forever sending me to the Jewish deli/restaurant next door to try and fatten me up. LOL never worked- in those days I could eat anything and everything and never gain an ounce. sigh. (though I did get on the scale yesterday.Not bad. I do it every year on Thanksgiving, then at New Year’s to see how much damage control I need to do lol)
    At Christmas the boss would bring in Baklava that his sister Bella made. One batch for all the employees to share, extra for me cuz I was a skinny Irish girl who needed “feeding up.” LOL

  253. I love to cook – but some have a connection with cooking that transcends even the best recipes, you know?

    I agonize waaaay too much over the outcome – work at it too hard – while others are like composers, musicians, dancers and party planners – all rolled into one.

    They have a relationship with the food going on the whole time!.

  254. I recall that, Upps. When socal does that we’ll take pics!

  255. No, no, I meant THIS particular bet.

  256. Socal was talking about the Fluff- I was talking about the Hellman’s.
    The “movie” industry out there is weird.

  257. 265 comments! FANTASTIC! We’ll have Uppity at 4 million hits soon at this rate!

  258. I thought it was mayo too. *cough* *cough*

  259. I still have hope for OWSers – even if they are schilling for O.

    It’s called “The Bus.”

  260. What! I’m supposed to go running outside nekkid after I eat my crow???

  261. Yeah Mom, I should have somebody else post more often!

  262. ROFL Uppity- It can’t be me!! I’m lucky to get 100 comments rofl! But then, I am not willing to do the Wal-Mart thing- not for a thousand comments! Ferreting yes, black friday and/or Wal-Mart. NO!

  263. What! I’m supposed to go running outside nekkid after I eat my crow???

    Well, there’s a good use for the leftover feathers, socal.

  264. What! I’m supposed to go running outside nekkid after I eat my crow???

    Not you socal, I’m sure she was talking to NES. You just made me laugh so fricken hard, it hurt.

  265. Company is on the way and I’m not ready! I must really go now.


  266. Yesterday, at Thanksgiving dinner, there was this seemingly awful dish that many were raving about — called ambrosia. Anyone heard of it? Like it?

  267. I love ambrosia! It’s like a fruit salad with whipped cream and marshmallows! Delish!

  268. Whynot- Uppity’s chicken vesuvius recipe is a must try! It is in the poverty recipe tab- scroll down to Feb 27, 2009 at 1:38 pm. YUMMY! (Note to self- write this down- beginning of the poverty recipe index)

    NES- Ambrosia- southern thing. Sweet. Canned fruit, marshmallows, coconut and Cool Whip.
    If you want to be a diabetic- by all means help yourself!

  269. Sounds like imust musthavethedefinitiverecipe…yes?

  270. Ambrosia’s a southern thing? I’ve never had it. I’m not the fruit salad kind.

  271. NES- I am sure imust will share her recipe. I had never heard of it til I met the husband. It is a must have at any big event in his family. The coconut put me off it. Weird but I only like coconut in macaroons and Mounds Bars. And prefer the macaroons to be dipped in chocolate. Chocolate can fix anything!

  272. vivien- I like a good fruit salad. All summer when I was down watching the grandsons in Louisiana I kept a bowl of fruit salad in the fridge. They loved it! We would swim for a while, then bring out the fruit salad and some water to rehydrate ourselves. Grapes, strawberries, blueberries, watermelon, toss it all together and let the juices meld. Doesn’t even need dressing!

  273. This isn’t my recipe, mostly cuz I don’t have one, but it gives the basic idea:
    Ambrosia Fruit Salad
    1 (8 ounce) container frozen whipped topping, thawed
    2 1/2 cups shredded coconut
    1/2 cup chopped walnuts
    1 (8 ounce) can fruit cocktail, drained
    1 (8 ounce) can pineapple chunks, drained
    1 (11 ounce) can mandarin oranges, drained
    3 cups miniature marshmallows
    1 (10 ounce) jar maraschino cherries, drained (optional)
    1 teaspoon ground nutmeg
    1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

    In a large bowl, combine the whipped topping, coconut, chopped nuts, fruit cocktail, pineapple, mandarin oranges, marshmallows, cherries, nutmeg and cinnamon. Mix together well and refrigerate for 30 to 45 minutes.

  274. imust- do you think I could make that with real whipped cream? (Leaving out the coconut?) Or is there something about the cool whip that holds it together?

  275. Hubbie loves ambrosia & his mom made it that gross way. I made it yesterday for him with mandarin oranges, fresh pineapple, mango & papaya, big “holiday” grapes cut in half, some shredded coconut and a dressing made from sour cream, amaretto and stevia for sweetener. No marshmallows or cool whip or maraschino cherries. I made a big bowl & hubbie has eaten almost all of it.

  276. I highly recommend Uppitys Chicken Vesuvius. And her pot roast, ribs & everything else.

  277. PMM, I like all those things. Maybe not in the same bowl.

    imust, did you have a lovely picture of that, what did NES call it? Oh yeah, seemingly awful dish?

  278. I make a lot of melon type fruit salads during the summer. During the winter, I make apple type salads or tropical with fruit from Hawaii. The stores here sell summer fruit from Chile all winter long, but I can’t eat it cuz they use power pesticides down there and it makes my throat raspy.

  279. imust, sorry I said the other way was gross. I wrote that after I read NES’ comment but before I read yours! My MIL (bless her heart) was a sweet woman, but was the campbell soup – jello type of cook.

  280. Thxx imust. Sounds, um, uh, interesting. I bet it’s better with fresh fruit and without the coconut.
    Sounds like the food of fond childhood memories. Is it?

  281. Bak..
    RE: Televisions: The last televisions made in the USA were Sony Trinitons and they stopped making them in 2007.

    I have some real vintage TVs because if they ain’t broke, they’re in service! My ’84 Zenith has simulated wood plastic siding. My Trinitron is a ’95. Both are small–19″ models. I do have a Panasonic HD flat panel in the family room (a little over a year old) and I doubt it will last as long as these guys. I got a little flat panel Insignia for the kitchen, less than a year old and it’s already acting up.

  282. Thanks imust. I needed to see the picture. That right there is why I don’t eat it.

  283. Yeah, turkey! Go get that Mary Poppins!!!!! (FF loves me!)

  284. I know, everything made nowadays overseas is made to break. I have hot rollers from the 70’s that still work, but my blow dryers, made in China, start smoking after approx one year.

  285. No offense taken socal. I do have fond memories of ambrosia at family BBQs.

  286. Yep, at it’s best, it looks pretty good.

  287. Now that I might be able to eat.

  288. Yeah lorac! Where’ve you’ve been?? Riding a turkey while eating a soy one?

  289. Yay lorac!! Happy Thanksgiving!

  290. lorac, missed ya all day. Did you have tofurkey? Hope it was good!

  291. vivien your soy turkey remark reminded me about our turkey shaped butter that we had on the dinner table. No one wanted to cut into the butter turkey but had no trouble with the real turkey being carved in front of them…lol!

  292. imust- the first pic is the one I have seen. The second one I might try!

  293. LOL PMM! It may not look good, but it tastes good….to me.
    I wonder if there’s an ambrosia pie? imustlookitup!

  294. imust! ROFL! If there was not an ambrosia pie I would invent one for you!

  295. socal said:

    I love the word “spork”. Now that will be in my head all day!

    Do you like Runcible Spoon? It is the same thing, but preferred by fans of The Owl and the Pussycat.

    Note to Uppity: Notice my restraint in posting any select lines of that poem here because I respect that this is a family blog.

  296. Mind if I take that photo down imust? The only legal complaint this blog has ever received via WP is a pic of a pie off somebody’s recipe site. I don’t want another shot at that.

  297. Yes an i appreciate it Sophie! We don’t want to jade our own Lakerwade! Although, late at night when certain regulars…cough lorac…cough…Freedom Fairy…caugh..NES…are around, I end up having to do a cleanup in Aisle 6, if you get my meaning.

  298. no problem Uppity! I can take it off.

  299. Count down to pie removal…10…

  300. I didn’t remove the pie……I ate it…..[burp}

  301. I woulda melted that turkey down for a lobster in a nanosecond.

  302. lorac check email stat, please.

  303. NES: You know I’m in on that crow with you, IF it comes to that. It may be the other way around you know. So, if we lose, I’d like it cooked Chicken Vesuvius style. If we win, I think it would be gracious of us to make it Coq au Vin style.

  304. WHOOSH!
    What was that? Something just flew over my head!
    Have I missed something about the Owl and the Pussycat all these years?

  305. You pig! I hope you put it in trash and not spam, because you will end up in spam. hahahaha.

  306. Ok Sophie, Chicken V it is. So what do I get from you if you lose? I mean, NES has to pay me some bucks.

  307. You know what? I bet a crow would taste good as Vesuvius.

  308. Yeah imust, it seems those recipe people are touchy about that.

  309. I just deleted it.

  310. Maybe I should take down the ambrosia then too.


  312. I am not coming out of pocket. I’m eatin crow if I’m wrong.

    I’m sorry about the ambrosia pics imust. The only reason I wanted you to post the photo was cuz that recipe you put up had a gawd awful photo. Where’d you get those pics? Not from that recipe, right?

    vivien your soy turkey remark


  313. If I lose, NES gets the blog. We wagered.

  314. Oh no wait, we wagered on…..cough cough Perry vs. Mittens. Bahahaha. I’m gonna win that one.

  315. Bert’s got one more crow recipe.

    Crow Casserole 6 Crow breasts
    1 quart sauerkraut
    6 strips bacon
    1/3 cup chopped onions

    Brown the crow breasts in a skillet, when browned, place them in a
    casserole dish on top of a 1 1/2 inch layer of sauerkraut. Lay a strip
    of bacon on each breast and sprinkle the onion on them. Next layer over
    them again the sauerkraut and some of it’s juices. Bake at 350 deg, for
    2 hrs. Enjoy! Jason
    From “Jason R.”

    Ramone responded to Jason R. as follows:

    I did okay until you got to the *enjoy* part. That means you actually
    eat this. I thought you had just found a new way to screw up good
    sauerkraut. Now let me get this straight: (a) cow dies of old age,
    falls over and swells up, (b) possum crawls inside cow and devours
    insides, (3) possum walks across hiway and gets smashed flat by car,
    (4) crow flies down and eats possum. Now, if I understand this
    correctly, you are advocating that I actually, physically eat the
    crow? Nope. When I eat crow, I do it with a dozen roses and three
    days of prostrate groveling, and it’s going to stay that way.

    Collected by Bert Christensen
    Toronto, Ontario

  316. 327 comments. Imustisabighit.

  317. Upps, you didn’t wager anything on ows.

  318. viv, that crow comment is a riot. Uppity hates her some possums. he he.

  319. NES was the one offering to eat crow. I told her I would if she was right. You’re in the clear on this one.

  320. I know karen. She’s made mention of that a couple of times. lol

  321. UW, I just responded to you. I made my remark about Mary Poppins, then promptly fell asleep sitting up at the computer. I woke up with a big COLD yesterday, so it wasn’t even tofu day for me, it was Nyquil Day. Then I had to drag my butt into work today. Made it most of the day today, before my colleagues pushed me out the door! So I’m bundled up under quilts with a space heater on me, and some Nyquil in me, and that was that! zzzzz….

  322. Sorry vivien. It was NES’ comment! imustcleanmyglasses.
    Not to worry about the ambrosia photos, I can take them down. Now you know what it looks like though!

  323. I think Mary Poppins put a spell on you lorac! She’s magical you know!

  324. got to go now……a ree-va-TURKEY!!

  325. Maybe a spell to be sick! I’m going to be buried soon in wadded up kleenex piling up all around me lol

  326. Poor lorac’ers. I’ll bring you some ambrosia, never fear.

  327. Yep, the only remaining wager is Perry vs Mittens. Chit!…even I learn, eventually.

  328. Mary is kinda lookin like someone’s lunch. I hate to admit this, but I’ve never seen the movie. She must be magic, she flies. And that is about the extent of my Mary Poppins knowledge. Wait, there’s a song…. somethin sugar…. I don’t know.

  329. Dear NES:


  330. Oh, vivien, you should watch it! It’s magical! And she teaches wayward little tikes to behave in the most singing and dancing way possible lol

  331. K lorac, Monday it is.

    SOunds like you might have that flu thang. Be careful!

  332. She is magic. I’ve been checking her out. I think I’ve even heard some of those songs.

    BTW, that crow thing. I think I remember utah offering to eat some with me. She says it’s a sure bet. In other words, we ain’t eatin crow.

    Okay, that’s where the pengys come in.

  333. I thought they had all been shut down. Not the one in LA. It ain’t over yet NES.

  334. Oh hell, Viv. It’s LA.

  335. Oh Upps, you gotta check this out. It made me think of Romper Room.

  336. L.A. is the craziest damn city.

  337. I thought we were eating crow if we turned out to be wrong about OWS. (That they will amount to something, that they are not part of OFA). I want no part of Perry. Okay, I want no part of Mittens either. I’m voting for pie (and coffee or ice cream).

  338. There is a Facebook page called Pie For Breakfast Day

    Reclaim “Black” Friday in the Name of Pie! The Friday after Thanksgiving is hereby declared Pie for Breakfast Day. Friday, November 25, is Pie for Breakfast Day 2011!

    Ironic that imusthavepie was at Walmart and not home having pie for breakfast.

  339. Did someone mention PIE for breakfast?

  340. Patty Griffin Making Pies

  341. Yes, SophieCT, you are correct on the terms under which we agreed to eat crow.

  342. Ok. I’ve been on the Recipe Tab for close to an hour.

    Uppity, got the chicken vesuvius recipe and can’t wait to try it tomorrow. Will definitely be using the sweet potatoes rather than carrots.

    Had no idea there was a treasure trove of recipes there! I can’t wait to try several of them and five the pizza video a try.


  343. GO LA!! (Phew…anything to keep the crows at bay….)

  344. Here’s hoping we never have to say: Who’s crow? Our crow!

  345. AMEN sophieCT!

  346. Let’s pray they suddenly march on Washington with pitchfork signs that say “No Mo Crow! Obama Has To Go!”

  347. Where’s NES? Is anyone still around?

  348. WHy Not. That recipe cannot fail. You will love it. The scent as it cooks will make you crazy.

  349. Can’t wait to get started this afternoon Uppity – I love the scent of a great dish cooking in my home.

    And, of course, I’m committed now to serve it this evening to my two closest friends – before we head out to the Christmas Tree Lighting event at the park!

    And, and, and…. the Symphony is playing – which is MY heaven on earth all year round – but at Christmas? Okay, I’m moved to tears!

    It’s a very special evening – the dear husband of the friend we lost wants to be with us in celebration of her love for the Holidays.

    The recipe is perfect timing – she was a great cook too!

    (I’ll come back in the morning and – I’m sure – be full of ooohs and “thanks!”)

  350. Let’s pray they suddenly march on Washington with pitchfork signs that say “No Mo Crow! Obama Has To Go!”


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