Veggies, Women, and Islamofascist Crackpots On Parade

Oh Yes Baby, A Shagging Visual From The Veggie Bin Gets Us Wimmenz Crazy…

What in tarnation is wrong with these people? Islamic cleric bans women from touching bananas, cucumbers for sexual resemblance.

But wait, cucumbers are just the tip of the iceberg. Oops, now I’m providing visuals.

He said that these fruits and vegetables “resemble the male penis” and hence could arouse women or “make them think of sex.” Bikyamasr.com cannot independently verify the accuracy of the news item at time of writing.

He also added carrots and zucchini to the list of forbidden foods for women.

And all this time, I thought it what that “change of life” thinga ma jiggy. He couldn’t stop there, instead he imparted more wisdom.

The sheikh was asked how to “control” women when they are out shopping for groceries and if holding these items at the market would be bad for them. The cleric answered saying this matter is between them and God.

Answering another question about what to do if women in the family like these foods, the sheikh advised the interviewer to take the food and cut it for them in a hidden place so they cannot see it.

I’m going to have to hold back at the veg bin next time I go to the grocery store.

119 Responses

  1. Saw that article mcnorman. What a bunch of freaks. I think the loon has gone completely off his rocker. If the women are contemplating veggies and fruits as “companions” perhaps it is because those items don’t beat them or keep them imprisoned in garbage bags.
    As for a male member of the family preparing the offending fruits? Well that’s wimminz work no?

  2. That is so weird.

    Can they still buy batteries?

  3. Perhaps veggies are better companions than some goatf*cker. Veggies don’t rape you or kill you. They don’t arrest you for kicks and then trump up some charges, then invite all their friends to watch you get buried up to your neck and stoned. They don’t order you around. You don’t have to walk behind them and they don’t insist you cover yourself with hefty trash bags. And they are cleaner than some grunting slob with food in his beard. And you won’t have to give birth to one just like him! No wonder they are worried.

    Sharia men are obsessively preoccupied with women and sex to the point of depraved. They must really suck in bed to worry so much about cucumbers as a preferred replacement for them.

  4. What Uppity said!

  5. I don’t think he is afraid of women wanting to have sex with cucumbers. I think he is afraid of women enjoying cutting those veggies up and imagining doing the same to hubby’s pee pee and to the father in law and brother in law and the local bossy pants cleric and the snotty a$$wipe at the mosque door who directs them to their separate room where they have to go so as not to dishonor God with their icky vaginal female presence.

  6. Yeah. Practice!

  7. These are the same freaks we spent BILLIONS to help take over Egypt. The same freaks. We HELPED them.

  8. All women in the USA should stop paying taxes since they don’t have the same rights as anybody else and we have our own version of government control of women’s lives.

  9. Personally, I don’t know what these freaks are worried about. they give young girls clitorectomies to begin with. Animals.

  10. Yup Ups, taxation without representation. That’s what we live with. And every time I am watching the 24/7 news stations and the say how Obama won the primary because blah blah blah….yeah I start thinking of cucumbers.

  11. I think the veggies are preferable because they don’t need to be housed, clothed or fed for very long. Sick.

  12. UW could be a country as well if I we had scored that kind of “free” cash from the government. Hmmm, The Republic of Uppityites, kind a has a nice ring to it, 😀

  13. Eh McNorman, when the government/politicians give you cash they own you. Unless of course you are a favored corporation. Or relative. Or friend. I still maintain this is what happened to Taylor Mush. She turned on a dime and you suddenly saw all those ads…..and then a press pass to the convention and the rest is obvious history. When a blogger starts taking ads from candidates, it’s over for honesty. You just aren’t going to ever say anything bad about them and you compromise your own integrity by overlooking things. I suppose it’s hard to say No if you really need the money. Me? I’d rather eat dirt first.

  14. Morning all!! and I agree with What Uppity said! 🙂

  15. Wow, they sure think highly of themselves, don’t they? A penis the size of an average cuke? Maybe if it’s one of those little pickling cukes, maybe.

    THEY are the ones thinking they’re resembling penises. THEY’RE the ones obsessed with sex. Give me a break.

    What a bunch of crazy, archaic, hopelessly backward nutjobs.

  16. This made me mad as hell for a few seconds when I first heard of it but then thought what the heck we get that here out of our own too. Think about it.
    I grew up hearing how women needed to keep their men away from divorced women or widows because once they have had sex they could not live without it etc. I know you have heard things such as ” man she is tasty I would love to eat her” or look at her melons or wow she has eggs with broken yolks . Same shit just another day. Come on ladies you know we all are hot after these poor men. We ruin them. Mothers protect your sons women will destroy them.
    Eh these guys at least do not pretend to hate women over there. Here they play games denying that they feel the same way about us.

  17. What about pencils? Don’t pencils make you think about the sacred penis? I see phallic symbols everywhere! While we are at it –let’s ban bowls—too much like a uterus.

    I wonder what Freud would think of these freaks?

  18. Rick Perry called Solyndra a country.

    Unbelievable! I’m continuously astonished at the magnitude of his gaffes. As one Texan GOPer quipped, “He’s like George Bush without the brains.”

  19. ROFL on bush without the brains! Hahahaha.

    The Onion hits another home run. “Drunken Ben Bernanke tells everyone at a neighborhood bar how screwed the US economy really is”.
    http://www.theonion.com/articles/drunken-ben-bernanke-tells-everyone-at-neighborhoo,21059/

  20. The pencil thing is not a problem in Afghanistan, AnnE. GIrls aren’t allowed to go to school. If they do, they throw acid in their faces or set the school on fire.

    And those are the MODERATE Taliban.

  21. Maybe if it’s one of those little pickling cukes, maybe.

    ROFL!

  22. In the olden days when they wanted to only marry a virgin, the real reason was…ignorance would mean she wouldn’t ever really know how lousy her husband was in bed. Seriously, I have a friend who said she had to get divorced to find out sex could be a good thing. They liked their women stupid about that stuff so they could do their hit and run schtick.

  23. I have a copy of an old book from early 1900s called “The sex technique in marriage” and it’s concurrently a riot and pathetic. Written by an ‘expert’ male doctor who didn’t have a clue about women. NOT A CLUE.

  24. Hey NES, I remember when you thought Rick might be a good option.

    **Snort***

    That’s what Barack Obama does to people.

  25. Yep, I confess to having major ODS!

  26. NES- there is an epidemic of ODS – and it is on the way to becoming a pandemic. There is only one known therapy, not guaranteed to work.
    Vote Clinton.
    This therapy will only work if 18 million convince one bot each to take the cure.

  27. We all have ODS NES. The problem is, we have no happy options either.

  28. A man’s fingers and nose (esp. a large one) could remind women of a penis …. guess ME men should start wearing burkas and mittens to protect their women from such obscene objects.

  29. Yep, I confess to having major ODS!

    You aren’t alone NES.

  30. Speechless.

  31. mcmorman, you little sex pot, you. Putting up that racy waxy sexy green phallus. Go wash your hands and put your hefty bag on.

  32. LOL

    Go wash your hands and put your hefty bag on.

    karen you are a riot!

    Where does it end? These nuts can classify anything large and cylindrical as a wild and crazy incentive to go to town. I thought that the she devil seditious eyes was crazy, this is downright irrational.

  33. karen, what would Freud say?

  34. @UW

    I have a copy of an old book from early 1900s called “The sex technique in marriage” and it’s concurrently a riot and pathetic.

    Not much has changed. Remember the first night bedroom scene in Like Water For Chocolate where they show the sheet with a hole in the middle of it? There is lots of money in virginity restoration these days.

  35. It is “extremes” like this that both lull women in this country into believing that we are “liberated” women – and influence men all over the world to view and treat women as the heathen in the fall of man who MUST be controlled.

    Where would we be, if not for being viewed through the Eye of the Penis?

  36. They must really suck in bed to worry so much about cucumbers as a preferred replacement for them.

    No kidding. They’re not just stuck in the past, they’re getting worse. Is there a word for evolving backwards???

  37. lorac, they never said they wanted to evolve at all. They are stuck in the, is it 6th Century? They eschew civilization’s progress with respect to law and humans, including the subhuman women. It’s part of who they are. In short, we are dealing with throwbacks to pithecanthropus erectus. They make no bones about their refusal to enter any other century.

  38. Yes I do remember. Like water for chocolate, as you know, is one of my favorite movies. But only the Mexican version with subtitles. But remember, we are talking about a culture there too, albeit more centuries advanced but not quite there.

    Remember, they could not marry because she was the youngest daughter who must take care of her mother. And so the oldest daughter is offered up.

  39. lorac, you are so right. The sad thing is, it’s happening here as well. We saw it last week with plan B. Before that, with Stupack. What next?

  40. mmmmmmm Karen. Waxy. I’m hot now.

  41. The women do have an underground you know. I do hope they horde all those phallic veggies, use them well and then serve them up to the bastards.

  42. Yes, I remember the ridiculous demands that the culture made upon the youngest daughter. Do you know that the hole in the sheet thing was still in use in the small towns during the 70s?

  43. Upps, you mean there’s an American version of that movie? I’ve only ever seen the Spanish one.

  44. Okay, I’m done. The waxy thing, and the holy sheet did me in.

  45. I thought I was done. lorac, is the word you are looking for assbackwards?

  46. Yes Vivien, there is a dubbed version in English for lazy people. It’s horrific.

  47. Cat under holy sheet.

  48. Eeek! It’s Santa Clown!

    I see that product is made in China. Yayyyyyyy!

  49. I love orange tabbies.

  50. Made in China. Isn’t everything?

  51. Viv in our rescue, we call orange tabbies SOBOLS. Sweet Orange Bundles of Love. Alas I lost my SOBOL in March.

  52. A few squirts of this, and maybe he’ll finally love you!

    RRRRROOOOFFFFLLLL myiq2xu

  53. Does this work with goats?

  54. That’s what the article said! Maybe its epoxy. lolol.

  55. Yes, a few squirts and poof…you’re a virgin again.

    More repression Saudi woman beheaded for practising ‘sorcery’
    http://www.ndtv.com/article/world/saudi-woman-beheaded-for-practicing-sorcery-157345&cp

  56. My sister had one. He lived to be 17. He was a big part of the family. He loved to ride in the car. The only cat I’d ever seen walk with a leash. He traveled well.

  57. sorcery? In a society where the guys conjur up Djinns and blame them for everything they do?
    https://uppitywoman08.wordpress.com/2011/05/06/the-perils-of-merlin-ahmadinejad-and-exclusive-photo/

  58. To quote Murphy:

    Islam is Awesome!

  59. Myiq, if Mr. Uppity reads this thread and buys that shit I am holding you personally responsible.

  60. Upps, there are quite a few companys that make that stuff. It’s marketed towards men, gay men. I always thought the clown was straight. Tell Mr. Upps to get the kind made in America. It might be safer. lol

  61. Don’t ask me how I know. Feel free to delete me. lol

  62. Yes, I remember FF capturing Atemydinnerjacket in full regalia. Outstanding.

  63. I’m on board with this. If enough food items are forbidden to me as a woman, then I no longer have to cook. I just show up to eat. And while they’re at it, could they outlaw toilet scrub brushes, broomsticks, and mops as well? Let the men handle those sexually arousing household items, eh? Forget vacuuming. That handle……yes, let them men do it all from now on. Go, Clerics, go!

  64. Irlandese, you have a point there. Let them get to scrubbing toilets and let’s see how fast they become all hot and bothered.

  65. Of course, we’re talking 6th century there. Some of those items may be considered space-age technology.

  66. HILARIOUS, Irlandese!!

  67. Phew…. Newt promises not to cheat on Callista if he becomes POTUS. (Of course Upps will choose to differ!)

    http://www.politico.com/blogs/burns-haberman/2011/12/newt-takes-noadultery-pledge-106920.html

  68. Bam made a rookie mistake in yesterday’s CBS interview, appearing to throw up his hands on solving America’s economic woes by stating that it would probably take “more than one President.” Mittens has jumped all over that statement in an effective new ad.

  69. Phew…. Newt promises not to cheat on Callista if he becomes POTUS

    Bwhahahahahahaha

  70. myiq, I’m lovin’ your new gravatar. I imagine that’s not your face — but, in any event, it suits your persona…a charming rascal!

  71. Does this work with goats?

    Brilliant!

  72. Speaking of goats NES…did you see that Michael Savage is offering Newtons $1 million to get out of the race?

    http://www.michaelsavage.wnd.com/2011/12/savage-offers-gingrich-1-million-to-drop-out-of-the-race-will-announce-on-show-today/

  73. Glad to know that the Bronx Zoo’s Cobra is still being funny.

  74. Wow, why does Savage care? Is he a Reep?

  75. Don’t know NES, just another to Newt nastygram imho.

  76. A Conservative’s Sperm? That should do it.

    Bill Johnson, Former Alabama Governor Candidate, Caught In Lesbian Sperm Donation Scandal

    A conservative Alabama politician and former gubernatorial candidate has been slammed by reports that he had secretly been donating sperm to lesbian couples in New Zealand.

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/12/12/bill-johnson-alabama-politician-sperm-donation_n_1143410.html

  77. I’m convinced that the world has gone batsh*t crazy.

    Maybe Timothy Leary was on to something. I think I might need a hit of lsd to understand it all.

  78. I thought Savage viewed himself as a Party of One. But then so does what her name at Huff ‘n Puff.

  79. I am lurking most days as it has been on heck of a fall. Still dealing with Mom moving in after being in the same house for 60 years and having to adjust to condo life.

    Then my one brother started getting really ill. He has been in and out of the hospital since September and was finally diagnosed with cancer (on the outside of the liver and has metastasized) with numerous complications.

    So just saying once more that Uppity keeps this, as always, just a nice place to stop off to chat or lurk, catch up with things and see those ever changing headers. Not to mention it helps with keeping track of time (e.g. Lorac means it’s Wednesday).

  80. Give former ALA. guv a GLAAD award. Pass the popcorn.

  81. I think I might need a hit of lsd to understand it all.

    Don’t settle for less than a LSD pot-roast, WhyNot; I’m sure Upps has the recipe.

  82. Mt Laurel- sorry to hear about your brother. Hope your Mom is settling in. You take care of yourself- we are always here in Uppity’s Great room if you need us!

  83. They must really suck in bed to worry so much about cucumbers as a preferred replacement for them.

    Reading this book only heightened their insecurity.

  84. hahahaha Sophie, must have sold out in seconds.

    Mt Laurel, sorry to hear about the upheaval and illness. Life seems to toss truckloads these days.

    Why NES, of course Upps must have an archived recipe for that kind of pot roast.

  85. Bam made a rookie mistake in yesterday’s CBS interview, appearing to throw up his hands on solving America’s economic woes by stating that it would probably take “more than one President.”

    How many presidents does it take to run the Obama administration?

    Two! One to hit the links, attend parties, eat ice cream and go on vacations, and one to get some work done.

  86. Newt promises not to cheat on Callista if he becomes POTUS.

    Four years of Fidelity out of Newt Gingrich. That would be a hard one. It would definitely be his personal best.

  87. It would definitely be his personal best.

    Bwhahahahaha.

  88. I ran across this today. It’s a classic Christmas tale. It has nothing to do with cucumbers.

    http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/12/year-kenny-loggins-ruined-christmas.html

  89. And while they’re at it, could they outlaw toilet scrub brushes, broomsticks, and mops as well? Let the men handle those sexually arousing household items, eh? Forget vacuuming. That handle……yes, let them men do it all from now on. Go, Clerics, go!

    OMG this is pure Gold!

  90. A Conservative’s Sperm? That should do it.

    A new Cure for Lesbianism!

  91. UW, you have mail.

  92. Trouble, oh we got trouble,
    Right here in Fatwah City!
    With a capital “T”
    That rhymes with “Z”
    And that stands for zucchini
    That stands for Zionism
    We’ve surely got trouble!

  93. I believe the word Lorac is seeking is “devolution”.

    “Are we not men? We are Devo…”:mrgreen:

  94. Intriguing piece on Hotair about today’s Newt-Huntsman Lincoln-Douglas-style debate. Would link it but that’d violate the house rules.

  95. What strikes me about Snewt & fidelity is, who the hell are these freaky women that want to sleep with that repulsive toad. I wouldn’t let him touch me with a 10′ pole.

    Most interesting post mcn! My hubbie has come home for weeks telling me bizarre stories of a man who worked under him, who has the same uh…hangups as the ones your post is about. His wife finally ditched him, now that she’s in America and can get away. Anyway, hubster got fed up with his insaneness and terrible work ethic and let him go. He gave him a weeks notice that he was laying him off. On the last day, he came to hubbies office & told hubbie that HE had decided to be the one to be laid off, to spare the others. Hubbie just said Ok, good luck to you. Buh bye!

  96. I hope that made sense.

  97. I wouldn’t let Newt near me with three condoms and duct tape.

  98. His wife finally ditched him, now that she’s in America and can get away

    Bahahahahahaha!

  99. I wish Huntsman could pick up some steam. The Right wing crackpot party won’t let him because he’s..well…sane.

  100. Sad, but true. I like his family also. I read about Perry’s latest dumbfuckery and I am pleased to remember that when he first started getting traction, and I remember NES was kinda hopeful about him, I said he looked as dumb as Bush. I’m no genius, & rarely call anything right in politics, but I did call that one.

  101. On a totally different tack, Hubbie & a friend drove down to the City of Hope yesterday to visit an old high school friend who is being treated for Hodkins there with stem cell therapy. The poor woman is in massive pain and her arms are all swollen and sore. They are injecting the stem cells into her arms and they are frozen! They were there when they were injecting it into the iv tube, squeezing them in. She told hubs it was excruciating. Poor thing. She is doing this as part of a test of course to help find a cure. Hubbie took her a cd player and a bunch of cds we made so she could have some nice music, and his friend took her some nice things. Hubs says the City of Hope is beautiful and she had a large, nice private room, and the hospital offered to put a Christmas tree in her room. Anyway, thought it was interesting about the stem cell therapy.

  102. Mt. Laurel, am so sorry about your brother.

  103. What a difficult time of year to be dealing with family and friend illness.

    Thoughts are with your brother, you and your family, Mt Laurel, and to Socalannie’s hubby’s friend. What a brave woman.

  104. A new Cure for Lesbianism!

    That story was as bizarre to me as, apparently, it was to his wife and family.

    A man of God… obsessed with his manhood… not “actually” having sex with multiple women… keeping his wife in the dark…

    Sounds like another GOP presidential candidate.

  105. Well it’s a good thing Arab women (and men..right) can’t drink. This would drive them crazy:

  106. And lucky me: I get to go see the endodontist for a root canal. The dentist said he doesn’t do them going into two roots and this tooth has 2 roots. 🙄 And he’s got me on amoxicillin 500 mgs 4 times a day. WooHoo!

  107. Well there’s not a tooth twinging so I took an Ambien and am going to sleep hopefully for a number of hours.

    Later y’all!

  108. Seek medical attention if it takes more than four hours to digest your cucumber. 😈

  109. Is that what they’re calling it now–digesting?!

  110. MTLaurel, so sorry to hear about your brother. I have dealt with a significant other and stage 4 lung cancer. It’s a tough road, hang in there. I will pray for him.

  111. I wouldn’t let Newt near me with three condoms and duct tape.

    Add a locking chastity belt to that as well. How much stock do you think he has in the little blue pill company?

  112. Huntsman will more than likely surge after the two at the top implode. We’re a long way from March.

  113. Easier visual to swallow (no pun intended) Sophie.

  114. You certainly called Perry right, socal!

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