It’s December 23! Happy Festivus!

The story of Festivus For The Rest Of Us.
Feel free to air your list of grievances even though nobody cares.

And………how can we have Festivus without Shelby Fluffy, bringing us his holiday greetings “coming into your youtubes”?

Peace be upon your head. Happy Last New Year. Don’t forget to click on JW Smart’s youtubes  and give him the hit count he deserves  — and leave a return greeting to Shelby.

110 Responses

  1. We’re holding our Airing of Grievances at 4:20 pm this evening/afternoon at TCH.

    I gotta long list this year.

  2. Check out the post again, I forgot to add Shelby Fluffy’s greeting.

  3. Here’s one of my grievances:

    People who freak out over religion at Christmas.

    Like it or not, we’re celebrating CHRISTmas. It’s the birthday of a major religious figure. For some people that’s very important.

    If you don’t like it. then politely ignore it. But stop freaking out and filing lawsuits because somebody puts a Nativity scene in front of city hall. YOU ARE NOT BEING OPPRESSED by a doll representing the baby Jeebus.

  4. Here’s another one of my grievances:

    People who freak out over “the war on Christmas.”

    Lighten up! You are not being oppressed by someone saying “Happy holidays!”

  5. I hate when my souffle sinks. It just pisses me off. To top it off, I recently had a quiche bake poorly. I am sick of these conspiracies against me.

  6. Geeze, I can’t guess who that turdstirrer is…I’ve decided that we shouldn’t dedicate any blog space to a wierdo who’s really not very important so I did an Aisle six cleanup.

  7. And another thing. Just when you finish dusting the furniture, or you get your man to do it, the dust is back! What’s up with that! I hate recurring tasks. This is a big grievance of mine. You should be able to dust once an not have to do it again!

  8. You should be able to dust once an not have to do it again!

    Technically, you never have to dust. You just need to lower your standards.

  9. Now why didn’t I think of that.

  10. Besides, you could save money on postits by writing notes to yourself in the dust. It’s an environmentally better thing too.

  11. Happy Festivus to you.

    I noticed I hadn’t sent out my Christmas card to you. Well, here it is.

    Merry holidays, and all that good sh!t.

  12. Oh, I forgot. I’m not celebrating festivus this year. Too many grievances to count. I don’t want to sound like a pig. lol

  13. Whoa, that’s some scary chit!

  14. Okay now listen up. I can’t post this because, well it’s Christmas week. But I wish to point out to you that a lardbutt named Sensenbrenner made a crack about Michelle Obama’s ass. Now I’m no fan of Michelle Obama,as you all well know, but I think this POS owes women in general an apology. What should his apology be? He should apologize for referring to somebody else’s ass when he has a fat ass hanging right off his own face. Too many hot meals on the taxpayer, pig.
    Check this guy out. You would think he would just go ahead and get that stroke he looks like he’s heading for. A lot of nerve, Sensenbrenner, considering what the fuck YOU look like.
    http://tinyurl.com/dy8w6yb

  15. It had kind of a Monty Python feel to it. Weird, like me.

    Well, enjoy your festivus. I have to run out an mingle with the crazy people who wait till the last minute to do their holiday shopping. What makes that crazy is, I’ve been off all week. I love the stress of the season.

  16. Shelby,Python and Meechelle’s ass -now that spells Christmas!

  17. Betcha his weiner has disappeared.

  18. Grievances? Hmmm
    I hate it when I wake up and Obama is still presidenting. When Barbara Walters interviews the squatters and asks what he hates most and he says- Laziness. LAZINESS? From the golfing vacationers in chief?
    GRRR!
    Happy Festivus!
    Oh and I caught George Puffobamaup carrying on this morning about how many people have left the D party and become! INDEPENDENTS!
    How’s that new coalition working out for you Donna?

  19. Yes I read that somewhere. The Democrats lost TONS of registrants after 2008. But they mostly became Independents, opting to recognize that the republicans are sh!tbags to. Boo Hoo. Serves them all right.

  20. Beautiful new header! FF is the best! And at least we get a white Christmas in the header!

  21. Ha (speaking of lowering housekeeping standards)! but here’s a doozy:

    My friend’s house was burglarized & the responding police officer CRITICIZED HER HOUSEKEEPING bcz he told her they could not get very many decent fingerprints due to all the DUST!!!

    (I think I would have committed Assault if he had said that to ME)

  22. Here’s one of the pieces re both parties losing registrants: http://www.usatoday.com/news/politics/story/2011-12-22/voters-political-parties/52171688/1

  23. I’m tired of sales clerks asking me every time I make a purchase if I have a store credit card or some kind of club card. When I say no they ask if I’d like to apply for one. When I say no thank you they continue to tell me all the benefits and savings……happy festivus.

  24. WTF is Newt thinking! http://www.politico.com/news/stories/1211/70762.html
    They need to drag this guy off the stage.

  25. He can’t stop himself can he? You’re right NES, they need a hook.

  26. Upps, I need some cheering up. Bam’s numbers are creeping up toward 50%….

  27. In keeping the Festivus spirit, I decided to visit “Crabby Old Fart” blog at the sidebar there <—————-
    Here's a snip from his latest rant:

    A senior citizen’s Christmas wish list for all of mankind…

    Iprods (available in 15,000 volt, 25,000 volt and 50,000 volt versions)

    It’s about time someone combined the genius of walking sticks with the ingenuity of cattle prods to create a handy device for shocking oblivious young people who are stomping around leashed to their mp3 players and knocking down old people like god damned bowling pins.

    Large Print Traffic Signs

    I do a lot of driving and its damned frustrating when I can’t make out whether a sign says “one way”, “freeway” or “pedestrian crosswalk.” If it weren’t for giant red octagons I wouldn’t have a clue when I’m supposed to hit the brakes.

    If you expect me to merge, exit or watch for children make signs big enough that a man can read the damned things.

    He’s so funny! I want to adopt him as my grandpa!

  28. Crabby Old Fart is hysterical! I laugh so hard I cry when I read him.

    NES, I don’t know, maybe you could visit Crabby Old Fart. I’m out of cheer but I do have scotch.

  29. OMG Val, that’s hysterical!

  30. NES, Newt is out of his mind. And he has pink eyes, like a pig. And he looks like ten miles of bad road. His voice sounds like somebody neutered him and he is so impressed with himself it’s possible he has no mirrors in his house so he can’t see his own reflection. Seriously, this guy is psycho. Why on earth would we replaced one Narcissist with another? The problem here is Newt has a brain and Obama isn’t even a fraction as smart as everyone PRETENDS he is. But when it comess to narcissim, smart is a VERY dangerous thing. as you can see from Newt’s blurts.

  31. I see where Mittens has refused to provide financial disclosure. Swell. That should go over big. Not.

    But then again, if Obama bleats about it, he can always say, hey where are your medical records?

  32. Bless our Freedom Fairy. Even when she’s not feeling well, she remembers her headers. Of course, she’s mortified of Bill, so that could be it…

  33. Um, now that i think of it, I think Crabby Old Fart was in front of me on my way to the supermarket this morning.

  34. You should be able to dust once an not have to do it again!
    and making beds too. 😆

  35. Happy Festivus! everyone. 🙂

  36. And vacuuming! Although I have a Roomba, so that helps. Except when the cat rides it and the dog snarls.

  37. Got me some eggnog from a local dairy. I want some now.

  38. …..heading for the rum…

  39. From the forum at drafthillary site. Priceless.

    So which PUMA group or other rat-fucking organization put this together?

  40. Why’re you. “out of cheer,” Upps?

  41. Best of the Season to y’all here!

  42. My gripe is Montgomery County joining in DC’s little scam to make money by taxing us yet again at the grocery store. Now it’s the plastic grocery bags. You know, the bags we had to switch to because we were killing all the trees by using paper. As of Jan1st, you have to pay for each bag. Now I have reusable bags (even some really nice washable ones ) but it should be my choice. Plus reusable are not always the best option and I do recycle the plastics bags. great kitty litter collectors for those of use who have to carry trash down a couple flights of stairs.

  43. On a happier note, here is a Christmas card for everyone:

  44. Out of cheer? Not possible! My liquor cabinet is full! Have some eggnog! Or some Gluhwein! Or Eiswein! Wassail! Or of course for Uppity- some GlenLivet! I think she likes that?
    Last batch of banana bread in the oven- with peanut butter chocolate chips lol! The baking is finally finished!
    Then on to making hummus and tzaziki for the reception at the rectory after Mass tomorrow night!

  45. OT: Not a grievance… thought you might enjoy this heart warming story about a cat on a hot metal engine and couple of good guy samaritans.

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2077720/Cat-survives-hour-200-mile-journey-sitting-engine-car.html

  46. I think I’ll sign it then.

  47. Thats amazing that cat lived, not because of the engine, but because he managed to not get mangled by the belts and moving parts, which is what usually happens.

  48. Glenlivet. I feel better already.

  49. I think I had that one up last year. Smart dogs!

    Our house Redneck is gonna love this!

  50. You know, the bags we had to switch to because we were killing all the trees by using paper

    ROFL! Yup. They go down in history with the thermometers that were going to kill us with mercury. Now we are served some up on those putrid CFL light bulbs.

  51. I’m not really all that out of cheer, NES. Just kinda tired.

    I did make sophieCT’s coffee come out of her nose this morning though. That picked me up.

  52. Let’s us PUMA RATFUCKERS sign the petition, since we are being blamed anyways. Spread it around!

  53. Bill and Hillary are once again representing our country to the world. And The President and the Hawaiian Princess are doing what right now??
    http://news.yahoo.com/czechs-bid-farewell-vaclav-havel-111200045.html

  54. Just retrieved my email and there was yet another story about NASA. I think the last standing eggheads are trying to bust a gut with findings related to their OLD mission in order to make the NEW Obama style mission disappear (or at least make it clear how Boo Boo and gang are trying to manipulate things).

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/12/22/nasa-dawn-spacecraft-vesta-asteroid_n_1165041.html?1324657146&ncid=webmail1

    http://www.csmonitor.com/Science/2011/1205/New-earth-like-planet-discovered-by-NASA-spacecraft-Video

  55. I would not be surprised if the doggie treat decorators were posted last year. There are days we all seem to be in each others heads.

    That is one lucky kitty.

  56. Beautiful header! FF thanks I hope you are feeling better. 🙂

  57. Crabby Old Fart is my idol. I thought he stopped writing but I’m glad to hear he’s back.

  58. Thanks to FF for a great header!

    Christmas cheer to all.

  59. Grievances. Oh yes. Gilda Radner on SNL skits aleays said it best,

    “It’s always something.”

    You just have to laugh sometimes.

  60. Bill and Hillary are once again representing our country to the world.

    From the link.

    U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton, French President Nicolas Sarkozy and Britain’s Prime Minister David Cameron were among some 1,000 mourners who bowed their heads in front of the coffin draped in the Czech colors.
    Czech President Vaclav Klaus, who was Havel’s political archrival, and two friends — Foreign Minister Karel Schwarzenberg and former U.S. Secretary of State Madeleine Albright — paid tribute to Havel at the cathedral, which dates to the 10th century and has not witnessed a state funeral since 1875.

    Why wasn’t Biden there? Well, we did have the best representing America.

  61. It look as those the primary field is getting smaller in Va.

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/virginia-politics/post/bachmann-huntsman-santorum-fail-to-make-va-ballot/2011/12/22/gIQActuBCP_blog.html

    Now I hear Perry didn’t make the count either.

    The article also said Va will be voting on super Tuesday. We got moved up cuz “now were a swing state”? Okay.

  62. FF, that is a beautiful header.

    Bill’s happy face right smack dab in the middle.

  63. The Justice Department on Friday rejected South Carolina’s law requiring voters to show photo identification, saying the law makes it harder for minorities to vote.

    Assistant Attorney General Thomas E. Perez said the law didn’t meet the burden under the Voting Rights Act and tens of thousands of minorities in South Carolina might not be unable to cast ballots under the law.

    http://www.npr.org/2011/12/23/144198762/justice-department-rejects-s-c-voter-id-law

    Can they do that?

  64. Well Viv, if they can run guns to Mexican savages and still be operating, they probably can do anything.

  65. Kicking off the election season using the usual MSM Obama blow jobs, Bawa Wawa interviews the Obamas. And…….
    Obama admits what we all aready know…that he’s lazy. SO now this shall become an endearing quality becuase he said it so cute. Yes, laziness shall now be deemed an endearing quality instead of a horrific flaw in a president.
    http://www.realclearpolitics.com/video/2011/12/23/obama_i_think_theres_a_laziness_in_me.html

    h/t NES

  66. Whaaaaa?????

    “It’s probably from, you know, growing up in Hawaii and it’s sunny outside, and sitting on the beach,” President Obama also said on an interview with ABC News’ Barbara Walters set to air Friday night on “20/20.”

  67. Happy Festivus to all! It’s still snowing in the desert so I broke out a bottle of merlot to celebrate.

  68. LOL on the snow in the desert. Priceless. You got my snow. Give it back.

  69. Yeah he couldn’t blame bush so he blamed Hawaii.

    Love how he said he hates cruel people. The cruel malicious creature that he is. And how about the cruelty he enabled in 2008, by setting the example. What he means is he doesn’t like people who are cruel to perfect him. Otherwise, all bets are off.

  70. Well the 4th best president is finally first in something: Laziness.

  71. We all knew Obama is lazy long ago. We watched him steal Hillary’s plans, answers, lime light, election, etc. He took her hard work and cut the line. Then he would run off to vacation or sports matches and sit and watch teevee shows.

    The contrast was always clear. To us.

  72. He prefaced his lazy comment with something like, “Underneath all the work I do is laziness…” Uh…work? What work? Has anyone seen Obama work? Anyone? Bueller??

  73. Remember at one debate when he admitted that he’s disorganized? He said his staff only handed him a paper right before he needed it. Lazy and disorganized, yep really instills confidence in his “leadership” doesn’t it?

  74. Very interesting about most of the GOP candidates not making Va primary eligibility. Just the three front runners. the rest are so far behind they should just throw in the towel anyway.

  75. Trump is starting to get on my nerves.

  76. If they aren’t on the ballot it’s because their ground operation couldn’t get the signatures.

  77. Yes I remember when he said his desk is a mess and he needs somebody to clear it for him. The tipoff of a very disorganized mind. Or a lazy person. Or a slob.

  78. You are right Karen. And Hillary wore him out. he went on vacations during the primaries. he was frazzled. he had to work.

    He wasn’t used to working to win. He would just get his opponents dumped off the ballot and sail.

  79. Can you imagine the blast his opponent is going to have with that lazy remark? What a dope.

  80. Obama probably doesn’t know who Havel is. I tell you, the man has no knowledge or sense of history. The eff’er should’ve been there.

  81. He’s too lazy to go NES!

  82. Actually, Obama gets to call himself lazy. Nobody else can. If we call him lazy, we are racist.

  83. He’s too lazy to go NES!

    ROFL, imust!

  84. In the sentiment on Trump, Upps, I JOIN. He needs to exit, stage left.

  85. Well the 4th best president is finally first in something: Laziness.

    Brilliantissimo!

  86. Of course he doesn’t know who Havel is. Obama would never risk his life or work that hard. He also most likely slept through history and pretty much everything else, for a lazy man was a lazy student.

  87. Now Russia is firing off test missiles. Isn’t it great that we have a self-admitted lazy Commander-in-Chief?
    http://news.yahoo.com/russia-test-fires-two-nuclear-missiles-184415286.html

  88. NES I sent you an amusing email.

  89. If I were Russia and knew what a FAIL the USA has for a president, I’d be feeling my oats too. Incidentally, a bunch of weapons of the nuclear variety were intercepted on their way to China recently.

  90. imust said: Now Russia is firing off test missiles

    Worse yet:

    “The launch was carried out from (the submarine in) submerged position in the White Sea,

    Shit, they’re sea launched from subs, which means the subs can get right off our coasts. I hope whenever they discuss these in a Nat’l Security Council meeting that they’ll draw little stick people for Obie so he won’t’ be too tired out trying to grasp the concept.

  91. Americans for the most part don’t even use first cold press olive oil, they find it too strong. They most likely would PREFER blends in a taste test. So what if the oils are blended for chrissakes. It’s not as if greek and spanish olive oil tastes like shit. While I might be smited by my ancestors, I prefer Greek oil anyways. I have pretty much given California olive oil its chance and I think it sucks. Sorry. Anyways, I don’t see the big deal here unless there is price fixing. And if there is, who’s gonna do anything about it. But I buy a LOT of olive oil and I see a huge range in prices from cheap to expensive and it stands to reason, considering what you are buying, that you will get what you pay for. Hell, the Health insurance industry has been price fixing in their locked regions forever. Cereal companies do it too. I could come up with a whole laundry list of things that sell suspiciously close in price regardless of brand. If you are a huge olive oil user you can TELL if you like it by the taste and you can TELL first cold press by the taste. I just don’t buy the ones I don’t like anymore is all. It’s not as if China is sticking melamine, lead and arsenic in it, FCS. If that were the case, it would be okay and the FDA would tell you melamine is good for you at a certain PPM like they did for China. Americans love CHEAP. So all I see is them giving them CHEAP just like they demand. Just watch in your supermarket at people looking at olive oil and you understand why they do this. People want a bargain even if it tastes like shit.

    Read the bottle! They will TELL you if it’s a blend. Big deal. Since when do spain and greece have fake olives? That’s the other thing. Americans are so stupid, unless it says “Italian” they think it’s not good olive oil.

  92. One more thang. If your olive oil is in a clear bottle, it’s breaking down by the minute. It’s probably already affected long before you buy it. Especially if it’s in plastic.

    Funny, I’d worry more about Canola oil. My father died refusing to eat it. He remembered when it was the stuff they used to grease heavy equipment. The rapeseed, and that’s its REAL name, is completely unpalatable, such that not even bugs will eat them. THey process the shit out of them because somebody needs to get rid of rapeseeds. There’s a reason why it has less calories and fat, folks. And frankly, if bugs won’t eat something, it’s probably not food at all. Just goes to show you. Americans will eat anything they are told to eat. And now somebody is worried about olive oil coming from Italy with ….gasp! Greek oil in it? At least they are actually olives!

    Rapeseed production became popular in North America during World War II as a source of lubricants. Its oil has the property of adhering well to moist metal, making it an ideal lubricant for marine engines.

    Gawd, I sound like Utah when she does salmon. Anyways, I always put over-processed WD-40 on MY salad.

  93. draw little stick people for Obie so he won’t’ be too tired out trying to grasp the concept.

    LOLOL.

  94. For anyone who doesn’t know what Christmas is about.

  95. Upps, I don’t want to muck up your beautiful nutcracker post, so this goes here.

  96. Let me try that again.

  97. LOL on the snow in the desert. Priceless.

    Well, it’s STILL snowing. Can you please take it now? Usually, we get a snow day and two days later we’re back to the 60s or 70s, but not this time. LOL

  98. Its oil has the property of adhering well to moist metal, making it an ideal lubricant for marine engines.

    I have an old treadle sewing machine. When I restored it, I found several places that listed this as a lubricant.

  99. toldja. My father used it on his heavy equipment and he REFUSED to have anything to do with it.

    But somebody’s making the bucks out of processing the hell out of it till it has no taste and people can ingest it. canola is the fun name they gave it.

  100. I read several years ago that organic Spanish olive oil was the healthiest, so I have bought that kind, but am perfectly happy with Greek, Italian, or a blend. Regarding Calif olive oil, I never see it for sale! If its from the Santa Barbara area, where they have organic groves, it would probably be ok, I buy olives from SB. Most of the Calif olive production is from the Lindsay/Porterville/Visalia area, the middle of the state, and the armpit of California. My dear late Uncle bought a ranch there in the 60’s & I have some fun childhood memories of it, but the whole area is now a toxic cesspool from all the pesticides, everything is toxic, the air, the water, the food. It killed my grandma and uncle. We took laker there once when he was little and he had a severe allergic reaction, broke out in hives. I advise people to stay away from it & do not buy Lindsay Olives.

    I told my Mother for years that rapeseed oil was horrible! Ha! For once, I was the right one!

  101. Well socal, I don’t know where the Cali olive oils I tried came from but they were crap. Had no resemblence to olive oil whatsoever.

  102. Upps, I can well believe it. I never tasted any from the Santa Barbara Olive Co, but obviously they don’t have the history and probably not the soil that the Euro countries have. I will buy their organic olives for Mexican food and stuff. When I want really good greek & italian olives, I go to the Italian Deli for imported. Whole Foods has a great selection of olive oil, I just looked at the last one I bought, which was on sale. Its a greenish brownish bottle, says its all Tuscan olives, product of Italy & has a Harvest Date & Good By date. Tastes pretty good. I also like the Spanish Nunez de Prado (?). As I mentioned, I never even see Calif olive oil! I bet the olive oil they get from the toxic olives in Lindsay is used in some nefarious way.

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