Crackpot of The Week – Indiana State Rep. Bob Morris

We’ve been doing Cockroach of  The Week as needed for awhile now, but the landscape is rapidly changing. We now need to add a Crackpot of The Week category.

The first recipient  of our Crackpot Of The Week award is State lawmaker Bob Morris of Fort Wayne Indiana.

He's not Creepy-Crawly looking at all.

I am slowly beginning to believe in Demonic Possession. I mean, what other explanation can there be for nutcases like this one:

INDIANAPOLIS – A Fort Wayne lawmaker has refused to sign on to a resolution celebrating the 100th anniversary of the Girl Scouts, calling the group a “radicalized organization” that supports abortion and promotes the “homosexual lifestyle.”

The Cookies are a Plot. They have Always been a Plot.

It’s hard to believe that people actually elected this loon, isn’t it? But then it seems to be part of the War On Women pattern the Right Cliff wing of the Republican Party is pursuing zealously. I mean, why not move right into slapping around the Little Girl wing of the gender, you know? They should be home learning to cook and clean, and cleaning up after their superior brothers, and shit like that so they won’t become Lesbians, you know? It’s just so much easier to start in on them at a young age and make them good and submissive little receptacles — so that later we won’t have to go through the trouble of tying a concrete block on their feet, tossing them into the river and seeing if they float or not so we can ferret out the witches.

Obviously sexualized girl scout troop attending Lesbian lecture

So how did Bob Morris (R, Complete Crackpot) arrive at these conclusions? Well, Bob found some accusations on the web—so they must be true.

He said he did some web-based research and found allegations that the Girl Scouts are a tactical arm of Planned Parenthood, allows transgender females to join and encourages sex.

Wow, I was in the  Girl Scouts for about three minutes when I was a kid and we never even heard of Planned Parenthood then. Who knew? That sneaky Planned Parenthood! They were in charge of the Girl Scouts before Planned Parenthood was even invented! How surrepticious can you be?

Bob also says that since Michelle Obama is Honorary President of the Girl Scouts, it can’t possibly be a good organization.  You’re right, Bob. I think Michele Bachmann should be honorary President. No sense of letting these little snots have any fun, you know?  They might grow up thinking life is fun for girls and that’s just out of the question. 

Furthermore, Bob warns:

I challenge each of you to examine these matters more closely before you extend your name and your reputation to endorse a group that has been subverted in the name of liberal progressive politics and the destruction of traditional American family values.”

Well Bob, I challenge you to examine your head more closely.

You’re a real prize, Bob. One would almost have to visit the wacky ward of Bellevue to meet up with your doppelgänger.

Oh and one more thing: Bob’s unfortunate children are in the Girl Scouts, but their experience was good because the local Scout Master had his values. It’s just that all the other scout masters in the country are bad. Or some such shit. Obviously, Bob personally knows all other Scout Masters in the US of A and they obviously have really bad values and are radical homosexuals who promote sex, abortions, and lesbianism. Or something.

Ah, the hijacked Republican Party. WhatEVER would our sexual organs do without their official Crotch Watchers peeking inside our shorts and panties at all times????

Saw what you did!

Rick Santorum’s  wise and logical followers find a witch.


351 Responses

  1. My God. Well chosen for COW (crackpot of the week). I was a girl scout myself, for several years. We couldn’t have been more traditional. There’s a Girl Scout troup in our homeschool group as well, they seem so sweet, but I guess I’ll have to look into these potential little subversives!

  2. Whaddaya wanna bet he supports Rick Insanetorum.

  3. If you only do one crackpot a week you’ll never get thru all of them.

  4. Uppity, that’s right. Them lesbians are trying to convert all females. It’s a plot!

  5. I just about came out of my seat when I read this. I was a Girl Scout co-leader in my little ‘burg for many years, from Daisies (kindergarten) all the way up to middle school. We were too busy selling cookies, doing crafts, camping, helping our girls earn their Bronze Star award badges, and every other community project we were ever involved in to spend one nanosecond talking about sex for crissakes.

    Fuck this asshole. Dude has lost his MIND.

  6. If you read this article, you will understand where the “craziness” is coming from.

    When the Scouts publish a book that directs the girls to Media Matters, yes, alarm bells do go off.

    Shades of the Obama administration and their “See Something, Say Something”, “Truth Watch”, etc.

    I’m not crazy, but when I heard this, I didn’t like it either.http://www.theblaze.xcom/stories/girl-scouts-book-refers-young-readers-to-liberal-media-matters-to-clear-up-media-misinformation/

    (*******Uppity Note: If you want to visit this horrific site, please remove the “x” before the .com and put it into your browser. I don’t send traffic to hate mongering places like this. Same deal for daily kos. I am equal opportunity disgusted person.)

  7. Because of the GSA, I have a hardcore addiction to Thin Mints. About time somebody outed these little demons.

  8. Oh that’s it—the ‘smoking gun’ that proves that GSA is a far-left-wing breeding ground for budding man-hating bra-burning feminazis. Juliette Gordon Low must be spinning in her grave like a chicken on a rotisserie.

  9. Oh yeah, The Blaze. Uh huh. You criticize shitty media matters and then use shitty The Blaze to seal the deal. Come on! They are mirror IMAGES of each other. Do you not think I DID my internet searches last night? First thing I came across what that rabid Blaze and that rabid Kos. Give me a break. Oh I surely do understand where the craziness comes from. It comes from The Blaze and their mirror images.

  10. It’s the same old shit all the time from these crazy extremes. Doesn’t even matter which side anymore. You flush everything down the toilet, especially if it deals with women or girls over some miserable bastard’s story. DO YOU REALLY THINK THE GSA of AMERICA is there to make lesbians and give girls abortions? Jesus H. Christ.

  11. So that’s what happened to my daughter! Well geez – then it really is all my fault- I was the Girl Scout leader and husband was the co-leader. All that camping and crafting, learning to be independent, how to read a map and navigate, first aid, cooking over a campfire.
    Damn, who knew?

  12. The Blaze was founded by Glenn Beck. His pot has lots of cracks in it.

  13. No kidding lreland! My God. Same web sites every single time. I hate these people. These hijacked parties deserve to be flushed.

  14. I want this book. Where is this book? I want to read it. I want to read the book the GSA national wrote.

  15. DO YOU REALLY THINK THE GSA of AMERICA is there to make lesbians and give girls abortions?

    I thought they were there to teach young girls about witchcraft

  16. The cookies are a plot. They have always been a plot.

  17. We are being destroyed in America by two Winged McCarthyism, pure and simple. Not enough commies to round up but LOTs of women and girls. Fuck this shit.

  18. The Girl Scouts are obviously some kind of coven. Don’t they hang around camp fires singing songs incantations? The cookie sales are a ploy to get girls thinking about work outside the home. /snark.

  19. This stuff makes me crazy- I can only dream of the day when women the world over rise up and say-
    My very humble personal opinion is that we would have no civilization without women. No domestic animals, no farming, probably no language. Hunter gather life was probably a bitch with babies and toddlers to haul around.

    ENOUGH already! FCS we are a majority on this planet- and we have the power if we only knew how to employ it.

  20. Yes jay, they hook you on thos thin mints and your life is ruined. They aren’t supposed to learn to sell cookies anyways. That’s a stepping stone to being a working woman. THey are supposed to BAKE those cookies.

  21. Just when I thought it couldn’t get any crazier……

  22. imust! ROFL! Wonder what kind of hidden meaning there is in this song? Obviously written by someone with a hidden agenda!

  23. The ironic thing here is Santorum and crazy bastards like him are enamoured with a bunch of guys in beanies who can’t keep their hands off little boys, but the girl scouts are baaaaaaaaaaaaad. I can’t believe this Sickness. Everytime they do another attack, you do an internet search and the same disgusting sites come up pimping the meme. I am so pissed right now, I had best leave this laptop.

    Only a psycho would even IMPLY that you TEACH people to be lesbians. Great business for the Bachmann Cure Clinic. These people are positively INSANE.

  24. Gotta love the comments over on The Craze:

    “An American Institution? The Girls Scouts? Ha, that‘s the best one I’ve heard in a while. Maybe their Girl Scout cookies are an American Institution, but the organization itself is a feminist breeding ground – a chip right off the old Equal Rights Amendment block from the ’70s. There are better ways for girls to spend their time than learning how to become a feminist.”

    I’ve got some Cookies, baked up special just for these cavedwellers. Now that’s what I call a better way to spend my time.

  25. I gotta go find those links to the Jesus Camp where they tortured kids. I guess we need to flush Christianity after that!

    If people could ‘teach’ girls to be lesbians and ‘promote’ it, I have news for you, there would be WAY more lesbians considering the SHIT women have had to put up with at the hands of these assholes. They pray one way and they live another way. Every day there is another gay republican who crops up. It does appear that there are more gay Republicans in congress than Democrats. And the last one, that Congressional candidate from AZ was all pissed off and told the press what he does with his personal life is he business. So…..what everybody else does with their personal lives is his business too I guess. These people are such flaming hypocrites it’s disgusting. Spending all their time attacking everybody else leaves NO time to check out THEMSELVES.

    The only thing left for them to do is call for clitorectomies. These people are the slime of the earth.

  26. It is all true. I was a girl scout, we met in the basement of our Catholic school on Tuesday afternoons. The entire time we discussed lesbianism. I even have the lesbian badge, we all earned that one. The group leader helped, if you know what I mean. ; ) I am not sure why he thinks we cared about abortion, we are all lesbians it is not an issue. (Unless, of course, we join the military and get raped by our fellow soldiers.)

    The guy obviously has some limitations in the math area. How is an organization celebrating its 100th anniversary a ‘chip off the ERA movement of the 70’s’??? Maybe its me and all the lesbian sex I have, but it seems to me that the organization was probably founded around 1912 sometime. Maybe a chip off that old women get to vote movement, which is way more dangerous to crazy politicians like this guy than ERA.

  27. Here is who these ANIMALS are.

    Here’s a drug to “Prevent lesbians”. Yes that’s right, prevent lesbians before they are born. Do you know what the translation of this is? Make girls born docile without any testosterone, want to cook and clean. How can ANYBODY even want to stand NEXT to these animals?

  28. Go watch “Jesus Camp” and tell me these peoplea aren’t clinically insane. Have you seen the GSA do anythiing like this?

    Ted Haggard of all people. Who turned out to be a drug addict and a self professed “Heterosexual with issues”. lolol. I could do a five page post on these hypocritcal crazy asses.

  29. I’m with Jay. They are cookie addict enablers.

  30. And by the way, if you can “Teach” girls to be lesbians, then why the pregnancy drug to ‘prevent” lesbians. I tell you gang, I am almost glad these psychos are overplaying their hands. It is waking up the third wave in spades.

  31. I posted this elsewhere…

    As a lifelong Girl Scout, I am surprised at the assessment from this guy, who I am sure was never a Girl Scout.

    I leaned in Girl Scouts that “the friends you make and the skills you learn here will last you a lifetime.” It has turned out to be true. And while there does seem to be an over-representation of gay women and FDAs (Future Dykes of America) in the Girl Scouts, I can assure you it was us looking for a place we’d fit in and not them looking to convert little straight girls.

    On my honor, I will try.
    There’s a duty to be done and I say aye.
    There’s a reason here and a reason above.
    My honor is to try and my duty is to love.

    People don’t need to know my name.
    If I’ve done any harm, then I’m to blame.
    If I’ve helped someone, then I’ve helped me.
    And I’ve opened up my eyes to see.

    I’ve tucked away a song or two.
    If you’re feeling low, there’s one for you.
    If you need a friend, then I will come.
    And there’s many more where I come from

    Yes, we are radical.

  32. I even have the lesbian badge, we all earned that one

    ROFL! Thanks for reminding me why I LOVE having you here.

  33. These people make Barack Obama look GREAT! And of course, that’s why HE started this birth control thing, because he is a dismal asshole and a complete sexist pig when it comes to women.

    And because nobody even noticed the latest unemployment reports.

  34. Put me in a building full of lesbians before I would be in a room with two badgering, demonic evangelicals. And my wallet will still be intact too. All that conjuring of spirits, which in itself is anti-biblical, has worked against them. If there is such a thing as possession, these people have collected up all the demons they believe exist and have housed them in their own souls.

  35. Obama was “crooning” on the news again. Looks like he’s gonna sing his way to the White House this time.

  36. but the organization itself is a feminist breeding ground

    Please God, make it so!

    You know what these people’s problem is? No MEN telling them what to do.

  37. Anybody found that “book” yet? I want to read that book.

  38. I didn’t find the book, but I found the secret list of former Girl Scouts!

  39. Still can’t find the book and running out of time, but it does have something to do with this:

  40. Oooooooooooo Kay Hutchinson bailey is on the list. She must be a lesbian. Ooooooooo. Laura Bush. Who knew!!!? Gasp! Nancy Reagan!

  41. Eleanor Roosevelt was a strong advocate of GS but not herself a GS so sadly she is not on the list.She is however suspected of having been a Lesbian.

    Ellen, Chaz, Rosie, and Melissa are NOT on the list.

    Liddy Dole is! Who knew!


    “The cookies are a plot. They have always been a plot.”

    this literally made me laugh out LOUD——–plus all the other
    snark—–you guys are great, intelligent, and you make them
    look like the freaks that they are!!

    Go (((UPPITY’S))))

  43. Honora’s a lez too? Any straight women here?

  44. Sophie, Eleanor may have come across a lesbian and caught Lesbianism.

  45. Still looking for that national GSA book. Surely The Blaze must have a few copies for Loan.

  46. Obviously, there’s a pattern: Madeleine, Condoleezza, Hillary.

    I can see why these crackpots want to marginalize one of the most successful programs for girls. Otherwise they might think that they could have power over men.

  47. Goodness, Google must be hiding that information. I’ve searched for the name of the book GSA wrote that mentioned Media Matters. Then I searched for books the GSA published. I found that scary “Life Skill” book. Surely that must be it.

  48. Oh, I dunno, imust — I found plenty of lesbians in that list.

  49. UW: It is my opinion that she was a Lesbian, whether she physically acted on it or not.

    All seriousness aside..

    Naturally, her repressed tendencies would have drawn her to the GS and certainly the germs could have transferred with all the hand-shaking.

  50. Maybe it’s The Offical Handbook! Nope, not that one.
    Girl Scouts History and Practice? Nope not that one.
    I can’t find that horrid book.

  51. Hillary was a girl scout too — well, there you go.

  52. Rut Roh, they have a publication named, “It’s your world. Change it!” Why, that must be it! Imagine encouraging girls to do things like become professionals and other horrid shit like that.

    OMG they also wrote a cook book. Those g’damned radicals!

  53. Yeah that’s it, NES. It’s Hillary.

  54. NES: Unfortunately I’m straight, I can understand why woman
    love other woman which I do also————–I’m really sorry most
    of my life that I am straight

    Upbringing—–white, italian, military etc………it was unheard of in my days—————–Hell I was brought up to be the Virgin Mary herself————

  55. Gingrich’s daughters may have been girl scouts too — apparently, they gave Gingrich bad advice before the last debate, thereby costIng him FL.
    It’s all the wimminz’s fault, doubly so if they were GSs!

  56. Michelina, it’s not too late! Join the girl scouts immediately!

  57. Socal– thanks much for the mansplaining definition last night.

  58. Michelina, the only reason men wanted their wives to be virgins was so she would never know just how lousy he was in bed.

  59. I want my Lesbian Badge!!! I want my badge! Sophie got one!! I want Mine!

  60. NES I have this secret fantasy that Gingrich’s daughters want to get him back for ditching their mother.

  61. When I was to graduate from Grammar School, I had an A average, but horrible penmanship. In order to graduate I had to earn a penmanship button and I failed miserably. Alas, they graduated me because they felt sorry for this A student who had shitty handwriting. Then too, there was that second grade teacher who beat the crap out of me every day for being left handed and evil. Surely that had to count for something. So they gave me my button. If I could get my penmanship button, why can’t I have my Lesbian Badge!!!!????

  62. NES- now you know I am in the hetero pool. And catholic to boot! Must be something wrong with me though- I don’t believe God is peeking in bedrooms. And I DO NOT believe women are inferior.
    It’s complicated lol. I think it has to do with being Irish/Scots. You know- those horrible pagans the Romans never conquered? Where women had the vote before western civilization took over?

  63. I must have missed that Badge too Uppity. I got the evil lefthanded penmanship problem too. Though no beatings for it. Though my older sibs told me horror stories about the rattan……..
    We should get badges for sure. Surely some of the lesbian stuff has rubbed off on us these past three years?

  64. Then too, there was that second grade teacher who beat the crap out of me every day for being left handed and evil.

    Left-handedness is a sign of demonic possession. The evidence is mounting.

  65. “Honora’s a lez too? Any straight women here?
    Can I be an “honorary member of the lez club???? I feel left out. :>(

  66. ROFL, Mom.

    (But, you should know, Kozmoe has been spreading rumors to the contrary.)

  67. Chit:

    This’ll help him get votes. What a hypocrite! Crickets from his base, no doubt.

  68. SHV,your name is now on the wait-list. It’d help if you were a girl scout.

  69. SHV,your name is now on the wait-list. It’d help if you were a girl scout.
    I like having sex with women; does that move me up the list????

  70. An old cowboy – dressed to kill with cowboy shirt, hat, jeans, spurs and chaps – went to a bar and ordered a drink. As he sat there sipping his whiskey, a young lady sat down next to him.

    After she ordered her drink she turned to the cowboy and asked him, “Are you a real cowboy?” To which he replied, “Well, I’ve spent my whole life on the ranch, herding cows, breaking horses, mending fences, so I guess I am.”

    After a short while he asked her what she was. She replied, “I’ve never been on a ranch. I am a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. I get up in the morning thinking of women, when I eat, shower, watch TV – everything makes me think of women.”

    A short while later she left, and the cowboy ordered another drink. A couple sat down next to him and asked, “Are you a real cowboy?”

    “I always thought I was,” he answered, “but I just found out that I’m a lesbian.”

  71. Exactly. SHV’s record of attraction for women clearly makes him a lesbian.

  72. I am straight SHV. Somebody has to be there for the ten or 12 remaining straight men who are worth having.

  73. Left-handedness is a sign of demonic possession. The evidence is mounting.

    Yes and then there is the hereditary factor. My mother’s head nearly did a 360 when she found out what that teacher was doing to left handers. When she went to school and knocked on that teacher’s door, it was truly a telekinses experience for that teacher.

  74. Mom, the kids poked fun at the left handers because of that teacher. But I have to say they didn’t try that shit with me. They already knew I would be doing a whole lot better than they were doing in 20 years.

    My mother, seeing exactly how unimportant my penmanship was, bought me a typewiter. I sailed through high school impressing the teachers with the Above And Beyond effort of typing my work up. I could type 140 wpm by the time I was 16. I wonder how those hunt and peck right handers are doing on their computers?

  75. I was allowed to express my left-handedness.

    My handwriting is so bad I should have been a doctor.

  76. MOM, the Pope doesn’t care what you think about those things since he is from another planet anyways–not to mention another century. Just so long as you have lots of Catholic babies. Lots and lots of Catholic Babies. Ooops. You blew that one too.

  77. myiq, my handwriting is so bad even I can’t read it.

  78. I had a secretary who was a genius at heiroglyphics, which is what she called my handwriting.

  79. My son is an artist. He writes in a very precise neo-gothic script that only he can read.

    At first it looks sloppy, but then you realize it is intentional.

  80. Out from left field:

    Yesterday, I was excavating under the house and the young male cat shows up. A few minutes later I hear a flurry of activity and he proudly walks by me with a rat in his mouth.

    I text Alison, “Kitty caught a RAT!!!” Al texts back “OMG!!! Is the RAT OK???”

    I am still confused by the path of that particular female’s logic.

  81. The answer is simple. Keep the cat, send wife packing. lol.

  82. MYIQ: Loved the joke, actually I LOVE the thread today——–so much fun-it feels good to laugh———

    UW: I used to practice typing from grammer school until right thru my thirties,

    NEVER MANAGED to pass the DAMNED TEST——remember you had to pass a typing test to get a job with those damned old decrepit typewriters———–and then the computers
    came, and I could type like a WIZ (until the sroke of course)—I can’t beleive what torment those damned typewriters were—–and I never gave up———–I just didn’t have the strength/dexterity or the confidence, but it was BRUTAL !! LOL—such memories

  83. SHV:_____that ws a JOKE————-right??

  84. I like having sex with women; does that move me up the list????

    You’re IN, dude.

  85. Trying to post a simple picture in wordpress comments just makes me so damned insane. I can never remember the STUPID code. This is one of the MOST annoying things about wp.

  86. You’re IN, dude.


  87. Today being washington’s birthday, I changed the header to remind you all of the sacrifices Bill’s ancesters made with George for America. In fact, if you recall, our own Revolutionary War Vet provided us with a little history on Sir William.

    Now, since I was actually on that boat when we crossed the Delaware on that cold, blustery Christmas night in 1776, please allow me to clarify…

    See, it was in fact one of MK Bill’s ancestors who made the trip with us. He shared the same name, but the Continental Army knew him by the more proper, William. He carried the rank of Sergeant, and was assigned to the Quartermaster Department. There really wasn’t anything to the job, since we never had much food to eat. But Sergeant William always did his best for us. Once, he even offered to share with me a scrawny mouse he had caught, but I decided against it, and ate my left shoe instead. Anyway, we all loved Sergeant William.

    Now, that night, General Washington was very reluctant to permit Sergeant William to make the crossing. But, at the last moment, as the boat was shoving off, William jumped aboard and into the arms of the General. What could Washington do? So, he just tucked William tight, as we rowed and poled our way to the Jersey shore.

    We were headed for Trenton, of course. Where the Hessians had about 1000 men posted in the town.

    Well, after a long march with bloody feet (and paws), we finally made it to Trenton. We attacked just after daylight. All was confusion, as we stormed into the streets from every direction. Sergeant William headed straight for the Commander’s headquarters. Truth be told, since he knew full well that the officers always ate better than enlisted men, William thought he might find some tasty leftovers there. He was always a sucker for German food, particularly Wiener Schnitzel.

    Now, just as William made his way into the headquarters, Colonel Rall, the Hessian Commander, was stumbling out of bed, trying to get his uniform on, sensing that the cannon fire outside his window meant a surprise attack was well underway. And it was here that Sergeant William performed the heroic act that we all remembered him for afterward.

    William bit into the ankle of Colonel Rall. Hard. There was blood.

    So disoriented was Colonel Rall that, by the time he reached the street, half-dressed with bleeding leg, he never saw the Patriot soldier that fired the bullet that left him fatally wounded. And, seeing their Commanding officer shot down, the rest of the Hessians quickly surrendered. It was a glorious victory! And for his part…

    General George Washington himself honored Sergeant William with a medal:

    The Order of the Catnip.

    It was, to my knowledge, the first and only time that decoration was bestowed.

    Well, after the War, I lost touch with Sergeant William. But I heard that he met a sassy Long Island feline named Katrina, who most people called Kittie. (But, for some reason, she always preferred to spell it, Kitteh.) So, William and Kittie settled on a farm in the Hudson Valley of Upstate New York, and lived a long and very quiet and serene life; while proceeding to give birth to many healthy litters, the present living descendant of which is – our very own MK Bill!

    Just thought I’d set the record straight.

  88. SHV:_____that ws a JOKE————-right??
    Sex with women or Al and the RAT???

  89. VET: love the story————-and UW: love the picture

    Oh hell, I just love everything today——–

  90. Hell I want some of what Michelina is having today.

  91. Devout Newly Minted Catholic Newt Gingrich skips ash wednesday and says he’s given up dessert for lent. He needs to give up dessert longer than that if he hopes to emerge with less than three chins.

    Trump makes a robocall bashing Santorum

    “This is Donald Trump and I have to tell you that I’m tired of Rick Santorum pretending he’s some kind of D.C. outsider,” the realty television show host says. “Rick Santorum is a career politician that’s never had a job in the private sector — he doesn’t know about producing jobs.”

    Needless to say, Rick Santorum is deeply entrenched in the Washington culture and has been for decades.

  92. Chit, Elizabeth Warren is running 10 points behind Scottie in polls. Apparently, indy votes are accounting for the difference.

  93. having a ball on twitter with the hashtag #BackWhenIWasAKid

  94. If the organization promotes homosexuality what need is there for abortions. More irresponsible nonsense from the Republican morons. How can anyone vote for any of these idiots?

  95. Most of the #BackWhenIWasAKid tweets are FROM kids.

  96. you’ve got email

  97. Love the header and the MKBill story too!

  98. Hahaha Steve. You can’t be one of these nutcases if you don’t have circular logic. They would vote you right off the island.

  99. Anthony I got an email but don’t recognize the sender name. A santorum hoot. Is that you?

  100. At least circular logic is some kind of screwed up logic. You cannot use the word logic in the same sentence with any of these non-logical low lifes!

  101. Yes. Sorry – used wrong server

  102. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t. No wonder we have only had one Catholic president, despite the fact that 25% of the voters self identify as Catholic. Newt doesn’t get ashes (he does have plenty of time left in the day) and is criticized. I remember when Kerry did get ashes while he was running for president and was criticized for getting them.

    I do admit that most of the reason that Catholic candidates have so many problems is that the Catholic hierarchy meddles into American politics in a manner which is problematic. I remember Jesus saying something about ‘rendering onto Caesar what is Caesar’s’ and agreeing with Him wholeheartedly. Yes, we Lesbian Girl Scouts live a long time. I think that it is because we don’t have any husbands to age us.

  103. Which poll is that, NES? RCP still has her ahead on averages.

  104. Most of the #BackWhenIWasAKid tweets are FROM kids.

    Then they will enjoy my bucket of cold water.

  105. Catholic hierarchy meddles into American politics in a manner which is problematic

    Exactly. And they started the tone the evangelicals have now too. So now we are battling theorcrats day and night. The reason JFK could get elected was he made is CLEAR that his religion has no business in the business of government. And he kept his promise too.

  106. Okay Anthony. That was hilarious.

  107. I should tweet that.

  108. Anthony are you on twitter?

  109. follow up:

    Morris wrote a letter to House Republicans Saturday saying he had found evidence on the Internet that the scouts are a “tactical arm” of Planned Parenthood.

    Planned Parenthood issued a separate statement calling Morris’ charges “woefully inaccurate.”

    Morris’ stance became the butt of jokes inside the Indiana House on Tuesday. Speaker Brian Bosma, a fellow Republican, joked that he bought 278 cases of Girl Scout cookies and spent much of the day distributing Thin Mint cookies to lawmakers.
    Now my trusty rat catcher and I are headed back under the house!!

  110. SHV! Give me a link!

  111. Antonin Scalia writeup for 1990 Supreme Court:

    As the Supreme Court majority wrote in 1990, “We have never held that an individual’s religious beliefs excuse him from compliance with an otherwise valid law … On the contrary, the record of more than a century of free exercise jurisprudence contradicts that proposition.”

    Before someone complains about left-wing justices ignoring constitutional norms and legislating from the bench, note that the author of that opinion, and those words, was none other than Antonin Scalia. Enough said.

    In bolstering the majority view, Scalia cites the Reynolds case from 1879, which held that “Laws … cannot interfere with mere religious beliefs and opinions, they may [interfere] with practices … Can a man excuse his practices to the contrary because of his religious belief? To permit this would be to make the professed doctrines of religious beliefs superior to the law of the land.” Though government cannot outlaw beliefs, it can limit practices in some cases. Citizens may not ignore those laws because religious doctrine is not above the law of the land.

  112. hello everyone.
    love the comments.
    Happy Birthday to our first president, George Washington 🙂

  113. I confess that I am a lifetime member of the Girl Scouts. My husband purchased the membership for me and put GSUSA in his will when my training as a Girl Scout gave me the skills to save the life our infant son. When my troop wanted to try things like hot air ballooning and whitewater rafting, I signed up for an adult course called, “Doing High Risk Activities with Your Troop”. Much to my surprise the course was actually about discussing topics that could be controversial with their parents – like sex, politics, and religion. The official view of GSUSA was don’t.

  114. We love us our own personal ferret, Mom.

    Ellie, a lifetime Lesbian and promoter of sex. Who knew???

  115. Bill on Twitter.

    I got into a whole box of those girl scout cookies once. Am I in trouble? I threw up after I ate them. Sure am glad I ain’t an Indiana cat.

  116. I did some digging on the creepy girl scout hater. It seems that he is the parent of two daughters who were …. drum roll please…. GIRL SCOUTS!! He says that they will no longer participate, but I think social services should investigate his parenting. I can also assume that this two daughters are now Lesbians and have been fully indoctrinated into the Planned Parenthood cult of Feminism and abortion rights. What is he going to do now?? Clearly, the damage has already been done.

  117. UW: –SOS——michelina is trying to tweet MKBILL, but she doesn’t have an idea how to do it

    she sent him a reply (from Heaven) and it didn’t go thru—-I gave her her username and password and it said

    “more than 140 words on tweet” and she’s lost and so am I

    How do I get her to reply to Bill and send it to him

  118. SHV: Al & the Rat———-the other part was funny too

  119. Great Header FF

    It made me think of this:
    Your Are There:
    Washington Crosses the Delaware (December 25, 1776)

    I can just hear old Walter intoning about the pivotal role of MK Bills ancestor.

  120. You can’t tweet more than 140 characters on a single tweet, Michelina. And that’s that.

  121. honora, like I said in the post, he thought his ‘local’ GSA was just fine, it’s just that all the rest of the country’s GSA troop leaders suck.

  122. Bill’s tweets out of control.

    Seeking meaningful overnight relationship with female cat. Must be black, white, or black and white.

  123. Clara Kinsey ( widow of sex researcher Dr. Alfred Kinsey ) was one of my Girl Scout troop leaders when I was growing up in Indiana. In spite of this, I think I turned out pretty well. Hey, I even earned a badge in nude gardening. Top that! ( FYI, Dr. Kinsey liked to garden in the buff. )

  124. I am trying to hit send—-how do you send it–I lowered the number—-

    do I hit TWEET after I write the message—–sorry I am so damned slow

  125. Yes you hit TWEET. the number next to the tweet button must say 140 or less. If it’s in red, it’s too long.

  126. The Suffolk poll.

  127. Our cat, Maxine, is all black. She’s been spayed, and she wants to know if that disqualifies her. She’s a petite 3 year old.

  128. My kitteh is a grey and peach tortie. I showed her MKBill’s pic but she said, meh, there was no chemistry. Like most calicos, torties tend to be lesbian.

  129. Ellie, Bill is intrigued but unfortunately Maxine practices birth control and Bill is a Santorum cat all the way.

  130. Oh c’mon Upps, we ALL know Bill is an absolute slut. His cat litter box is lined with Santorum pictures. He voted for Bill Clinton, FCS.

    And I am living proof of the GSA being a lesbian plot. I was never a scout and I am not a lesbian. Also, not coincidentally, I bought and consumed two boxes of Samoa’s this month alone and I am a known supporter of Lesbians.

  131. delegate count:

    Romney 123
    Santorum 72
    Gingrich 32
    Paul 19

    anybody watching tonight at 8pm on cnn?

  132. Brings new meaning to the term: 4 horsemen of the Apocalypse.

    Many Americans invested all they had into their personal real estate on the assumption it would rise as it always had. It has to be close to bottom now. I was a NY Realtor for years and never saw this day coming. It is a mess. Hillary had a plan for the housing disaster that was highly lauded by many experts including the Wall Street Journal who published her plan.

  133. Reblogged this on The Widdershins and commented:
    You all *have* to check this out. Kudos to Uppity and her commenters!

  134. I reblogged you. Had to share this one.

  135. Not a problem Fredster. Madamab is welcome to anything I have except my body. lol.

  136. Uppity: I really enjoy your posts so wanted to share and the comments on this one were priceless. I loved the lesbian badge! 😆

  137. I don’t know Karen. These people bought ridulously high. The rule of common sense with investments is buy low and sell high. You would have had to put a gun in my mouth to get me to buy a house during the peak. What goes up must go down. Anything you buy with intent of increasing value is called gambling. You take a risk.

  138. Karen, I hope you are prepared for what Bill can do to you after calling him a slut. He says he is not a slut, but is fulfilling his responsibilities to propagate gorgeous tuxies.

  139. Thanks for reminding me Fredster. I WANT MY BADGE!

  140. Hell gang, universities award honorary phds to absolute MORONS. WHy can’t I bet an honorary lesbian!

    I think Hillbilly should be an honorary lesbian too! Look what he puts up with from us.

  141. It’s okay beata, bill doesn’t date calicos or torties. Well there was that one affair at Myrtle Beach but nevermind. Anyways, he only dates black, white and black and white cat.

  142. Thanks for reminding me Fredster. I WANT MY BADGE!


  143. Hell gang, universities award honorary phds to absolute MORONS. WHy can’t I bet an honorary lesbian!

    I was at the Lesbian Hall of Fame yesterday and noted that your statue has a prominent place in the central hall.

    Hill Billy can only be an honorary lesbian if he undergoes a TPU.

  144. Well, taking a break from under the house and against my better judgement opened an e-mail from the ACLU. I figured after throwing their e-mails directly into the trash for the past year, I should see if “things” have changed. Nope…issue warrantless wiretaps…President Bush signed the law but it’s the Obama “Administration” who is appealing a lower court strike down of the law. F*ing ACLU never calls out the sociopathic MF who lives at 1600 Penn. Ave.. If it’s some bad shit that continues to trash the Constitution, the ACLU lays the blame on “The White House”, Obama advisors, Obama Administration, etc. never President Obama.

    Kitty and I need to go back under the house and cool off!!!!!

  145. SHV, sounds like you were having a better time with the kitteh and the rat.

  146. I was at the Lesbian Hall of Fame yesterday and noted that your statue has a prominent place in the central hall.

    I’m so happy! Was it a good statue, was I cute?????

  147. They had a “blues” party at the WH, BB King, Buddy Guy & bunch of others. Bark sang a couple lines of Sweet Home Chicago. Its going to be on PBS, for Black History month.,barack-obama

  148. Very cute. And the feet were perfectly proportioned with great toes.

  149. No, not on twitter, but tweet away if you want to. I just had a half hour to kill, and decided I wanted to have some fun. Glad you liked it.

  150. Oh GOOD on the feet! Was my hair all right?

  151. 3 million viewers of this shallow child pretending she’s older than she is, worshipping herself and looking for others to worship her ordinary self as well. It’s the new “Haul Video” where the kid is the actual Haul.

  152. I’m making progress. Today I thought about collecting all my materials for my taxes. I didn’t do it, but I DID think about it.

    Gawd. we bashed the crap out of this post with 155 comments.

  153. Just another typical walmart shopper.

    An Arizona man using a Walmart bathroom over the weekend gave shoppers the shock of their lives when his gun inadvertently discharged as he sat down to use the toilet.

    Andrew Seals, 24, entered the store restroom around 1 p.m. on Sunday, KPHO reports. As pulled down his trousers, Seals’ Ruger .357 caliber revolver fell out of it’s holster, hit the ground and inadvertently fired.

    “The bullet went through the stall door, hit a wall, ricocheted into a light on the ceiling, then struck the floor about 5 feet from another man who was standing at a urinal,” according to The Republic.

  154. Left-handedness is a sign of demonic possession. The evidence is mounting.

    In fact, there was a time when The Church would not ordain left-handed men. The Latin word for left, sinistra, also means evil.

  155. Isn’t there another debate on tonight?

  156. Yes, imust, on CNN in 2 minutes.

  157. I’m so happy! Was it a good statue, was I cute?????

    NES was lying. Here’s your statue:

  158. Is anyone live-blogging tonight’s debate?

  159. Isn’t there another debate on tonight?

    Yes, imust, on CNN in 2 minutes.

    I was going to ask if anyone was going to blog it, but then I really don’t give a shit.

  160. What the church needs to do is ordain more men with NO hands.

  161. Fredster, I enjoy the MST3K type heckling.

  162. What the church needs to do is ordain more men with NO hands.

    How are they going to hold up the Host?

  163. I’m watching the debate now…..can’t help myself….the devil made me do it! 😉

  164. Rick and Newt do NOT have ashes. Just rules for the common folk, I guess.

  165. sophie said: Fredster, I enjoy the MST3K type heckling.

    Yeah, I know but I doubt we’ll be able to top anything that they say.

  166. 😉 Stick around, Fredster.

    Did Santorum just confess to having taken remedial math?

  167. Romney is looking at Santorum’s “historic” record. Watch him run from his own!

  168. Rick was talking…..but I stopped listening…

  169. I wish I had some Girl Scout Cookies to eat while I watch the debate!

  170. I’m watching Hillbilly Handfishin’ on Animal Planet.

  171. Girl Scout cookie pie?

  172. Cut, cap, and balance….

    Is Romney talking about economics or his haircut?

  173. Newt doesn’t believe in class warfare. He shops at Tiffany for millions of $ in baubles and got paid a gazillion dollars as a “consultant” for a few hours work. He is the champion of the poor. yeah, right.

  174. Santorum just got a zero response from the audience after his rant on earmarks.

    Yeah, they are starting the long decline after the meteoric rise for him…

  175. Santorum’s getting booed!

  176. Soph, didn’t that warm your heart.

    This audience is good. They are paying attention.

  177. Oh nos…I must be crazy. Ron Paul is making sense!

  178. During the debates I’ve found myself agreeing with all of them on certain points but then I have to remind myself of their positions on other issues. They are political machines looking to score points and glad hand the voters into coming to their side. None of them are as obnoxious as obama was in 08.
    btw – to me Paul isn’t looking healthy at all. He has aged a lot in the past year.

    Here comes the Birth Control subject… and the audience goes wild….

  179. Karen, that ship has sailed…they’re on contraception now!

  180. Yep, Sophie. They pointed out rightly that obama got a pass in 08.

  181. I guess this audience thinks they’re the moral ones.

  182. What kind of idiots are these guys, railing against contraception in one minute and railing against children being born out of wedlock in another,

  183. Planned Parenthood should get nothing according to Paul. He was applauded. Yep, hypocrites all.

  184. Thus endeth Paul’s claim to sense.

  185. And Sanatarium is getting more booing, big time! YEA!!!

  186. Since it is Arizona, land of McCain, they like their moderate republicans there. And they seem to be agreeing with Mitt the most.

    They also liked his we must “protect america” stance from the get go tonight since the border is their personal problem.

  187. Looks like this audience likes Romney better than the Frothy One.

  188. Rick Perry in Da House.

  189. Perry is in the audience…ha!

  190. Pandering to the “fence” vote.

  191. Border question.

    Paul, deal with US borders not foreign ones. We can’t reward the illegals.

    newty – double fence, (perry is in the audience) could build the fence for less and fast. more personnel on the border

  192. Drop the lawsuits!
    Build the fence!

  193. mittens – is going to do all of the above and add some techy stuff to the mix too with e-verify.

    of course, whoever gets elected is going to do diddly squat so why not promise the moon.

    sanitary pad – zzzzzzzzzzz sorry fell asleep for his answer.

  194. Didn’t Newt already promise the moon?

  195. Define yourself using one word! Ha! We can help with that….fits for all….CRAZY!!!

  196. define themselves using one word – after the break.

    without using the names of the seven dwarfs – I can’t do it…

    and iran and international politics – coming up. i bet none of them get accused of doing nothing but having tea with foreign leaders. none of them are weak little wimmenz so they have credentials automatically…

  197. That was the second time tonight Newt used the word demagogic. And yet, if there ever was a guy (or a panel) that engaged in gratuitous demagoguery, it’s him and these guys. Newtie always condemns others for the things he does himself.

  198. the debate is over in 10 minutes. imust and sophie – we can hang in there that long. thank you to both of you. it is hard to stomach this alone.

  199. Cheerful?! LOL

  200. Newt said, “cheerful”. Oh brother.

  201. paul – consistent
    santorum – courage
    romney – resolute
    newt cheerful

    WTF lousy answers

  202. Mitt is a desk in the Oval office.

  203. mitt got the women in the military answer dead right. wimmenz got balls too and can kick sanitary pad in the jimmey….

  204. We don’t like government spending but let’s add 100,000 troops…ayup

  205. Newt is using the “bomb” card.

  206. The Frothy One is a concern troll.

  207. Rick has “concerns” about women in combat.

  208. newt – a uniform is a uniform. a truck driver can get blown up too.

    nukes in cities first responders, more at risk today in the whole world.

    paul – draft might come back – he doesn’t want men or women killed in the wars. defending our country whether men or wimmez is dangerous

    santorum is hemming and hawing about what he said and not adding anything new or clear. he ducked the question.

  209. i must. that’s what i thought of too. my mind went right to that desk and him sitting there in the oval. interesting answer and possible mind egg planting.

  210. Iran is a freaking scary issue today with the nuclear situation and our inspectors leaving because they were being lied to. That is what happened 11 years ago.

    Mitt speaks well about foreign policy and how poorly obama handles things.

  211. Yes, Mitt was pretty strong on Iran and nukes.

  212. Santorum says he’s trying to keep nukes out of Iran for 8 years, not too successful are you Rick?

  213. Ron Paul booed over saying Iran might not have a nuke.

  214. Your hair was just so.

  215. Feeling brave, Fredster?

  216. How are they going to hold up the Host?

    Don’t ask. This is G-rated blog.

  217. I thought it was a 90 minute debate? When is it over?

  218. NES – how many boxes of Girl Scout Cookies have you bought today?

  219. Can someone explain why Santorum always looks like he’s wearing a diaper?

  220. Karen, I have two cases of them coming in a few weeks. If you’re curious: Dosidos, Trefoils, Thin Mints, and Samoas.

  221. AHA, it is a lesbian plot.

  222. NES: No child’s wet behind?

  223. define themselves using one word – after the break.


  224. NES – he looks like a diaper wearer because he is always FOS.

  225. Rick has “concerns” about women in combat.

    QUICK! Kick him in the jimmy!

  226. Santorum is a SATAN SANDWICH.

  227. I have to give John King credit for the questions and his attitude. It is easier to watch this than it would have been to see Wolfie again and again with his grandstanding and bs.

  228. Santorum says he’s trying to keep nukes out of Iran for 8 years,

    Let’s send him there for some on-the-ground reconaissance.

  229. karen, I’m awash in Girl Scout Cookies. That’s why I’m soooooo lesbian. (Now Michelina is sure to be sooooo J.)

  230. agree with newt totally about no child left behind and teaching. well said.

  231. Karen, I have two cases of them coming in a few weeks. If you’re curious: Dosidos, Trefoils, Thin Mints, and Samoas.

    Go for it, karen. It’s not like cookie-curious is anything like bi-curious.

  232. I completely disagree with Newt on teaching.

  233. I completely disagree with Newt on teaching.

    It must be because you’re not a West Georgia history professor.

  234. Saying that teacher’s unions “don’t care about children” and ONLY care about protecting bad teachers is completely false.

  235. It’s not like cookie-curious is anything like bi-curious.


  236. NES – he looks like a diaper wearer because he is always FOS.


  237. Misconception? Don’t the religious folks want to make that a felony?

  238. Paul, you can’t win. You haven’t won a single state.

  239. If you’re drinking on keywords, Newt said Reagan again.

  240. Uh oh. Mitt said he could give the answers he wants…got a boo.

  241. imust: In Maine, Romney got 2,269 to Paul’s 2,030. That’s 2269 people holding their noses, thinking they’re voting for the one who can beat Obama against 2030 people who REALLY want the guy the voted for.

  242. If SanitaryPad says any more misogynistic chit he’s going to have to walk around wearing a(n) (athletic) cup.

  243. A guy who can do a lot with a little…7 kids are a lot. What’s little?

  244. romney avoided the question and got caught on pushing his talking points.

    it is near the end… he wants to put his advertising out. it worked with the crowd.

    sanitarium is delusional if he thinks he can get moderates and independents. obama would sail into office if the reps are crazy enough to keep pushing him. too out of touch.

  245. I wonder if Santorum masturbates engages in “dingle habits” [h/t karen]?

  246. “Misconception? Don’t the religious folks want to make that a felony?”


  247. I don’t know Sophie. I don’t think all of the people who voted for Mitt held their noses. He’s always had about a 25% base.

  248. What’s little?

    Hahahahaha. That’s not a serious question, right? It’s not for nothing that they call him “Little Rickie.”

  249. NES!!

    UPPITY is gonna have to do a clean up on aisle 666. or is that 999, the cost of a pizza.

    Now I know you were corrupted by Girl Scouts but that is no excuse for wondering about Santorum’s diaper and dingle habits.

  250. ok imust, I’ll give you the 25%. 1701 held their nose.

  251. “Misconception? Don’t the religious folks want to make that a felony?”


    Double ROFLMAO!!

  252. or is that 999, the cost of a pizza.

    ROFL. I do miss the pizza man. Compared to SanitaryPad, Cain was a keeper.

  253. ROFLMAO!!!! The antidote to posthumous baptism by Mormons:

  254. UPPITY is gonna have to do a clean up on aisle 666.

    Look again, karen. I cleaned it up (bowdlerized it) a bit.

  255. Brilliant on the posthumous baptisms!

  256. I’m just now reading the comments but:


    NES: No child’s wet behind?

  257. NES, you’re on a roll.

  258. Fredster, I believe SophieCT made that comment (high on Girl Scout Cookies, no doubt).

  259. NES said: Fredster, I believe SophieCT made that comment (high on Girl Scout Cookies, no doubt).

    I’m shocked! 😯

    I’m also off to go pick up a salad from Cracker Barrel. They get a lot of business from me since they are just 5 minutes away. Too damned easy to go there.

  260. Seriously, go convert dead Mormons to LGBT…

    If you don’t know any, they will find on for you.

  261. Great link, AnnE. Perhaps the Wimminz Revolution has begun.

  262. I’m also off to go pick up a salad from Cracker Barrel.

    Get me a Satan Sandwich. I’ll pay you in contraceptives.

  263. lol NES, that’s what happens when you leave a lesbian to clean up before the boss comes and hands out punishments.

    Lorac Thursday is nigh. Must behave.

    My Mormon’s name was hispanic. How’d that happen?

  264. Seriously, go convert dead Mormons to LGBT…

    I converted Joseph Smith. Since many Mormons are descended from him, I figure I glitter-converted wagonloads of them.

  265. How long before someone puts Little Rickie’s face on a rubber (slang meaning)?

  266. My friend convered Brigham Young and George Romney.

  267. I hope Utahwoman will come and punish us for converting Mormons.
    Utah, where have you been?

  268. Hey, I wasn’t in the girl scouts (okay, I was in Brownies) – I was in 4-H until I was 18. But it was an all-girls’ 4-H troop. Hmmmmm…..

    I’m trying to think of the pledge

    I pledge my Heart to greater loyalty
    My Hands to larger service
    My Head to greater thinking
    And my Health to better living
    For my club, my community, my country, and my world..**

    Yup – I think they were teaching us to be lesbians and get lots of abortions, too (I’m guessing this is what “feminist” means to the critical ones)

    **best I can remember lol

  269. NES, do you get the regular toaster for converting Mormons, or something more special?

  270. I remember Rev vet’s historical epic of Bill. Rev vet is an excellent writer.

  271. re: that link to the article about the woman in El Paso hit by a bullet from MX – it said the woman was shopping downtown, a mile from the border. Geez, I had no idea a bullet could go so far. I don’t think I’d be shopping downtown if *I* lived in El Paso!

  272. My hands to larger service

    Watch it with those hands Lorac.

  273. Fredster, I promise I won’t touch the Host! (or the hostess, for that matter, because she’ll just tell me that NES is first in line, if she ever decides to be curious lol)

  274. Get me a Satan Sandwich. I’ll pay you in contraceptives.

    Now why would I need those? Condoms, possibly, esp. if Lil Ricky’s pic is on them! 😆

  275. Nice, lorac. I like the pledge of hands, in particular.

  276. lorac, you get a shred of Brigham Young’s holy underwear.

  277. Now why would I need those? Condoms, possibly, esp. if Lil Ricky’s pic is on them!

    Aren’t condoms (aka, rubbers) also contraceptives? Pretty sure they are.

  278. lorac: Here are some distances a bullet can travel. I was kind of surprised by some of these.

  279. Pretty sure they are.

    In any event, that’s what I learned in Girl Scouts.

  280. I’m thinking really hard here… I don’t think civic service clubs are totally responsible… gosh, the minister who baptized me was a woman, my pediatrician was a woman, my teachers were women**, and now that I think of it, my mom and my sister were women!!!!!!! I think the plot is much larger than just cookies! Now that I know that Hillary was in the girl scouts, I more fully understand what she meant by, “it takes a village”!!!! lol

    **of course, the principals were men

  281. Where is the Mistress of the Blog? Did SanitaryPad give her a headache? Is Mr. U ‘curing’ it?

  282. Aren’t condoms (aka, rubbers) also contraceptives? Pretty sure they are.

    Point taken. I was thinking the types that the wimmenz use esp. for them.

  283. No wonder you’re a lez, lorac. You didn’t have a chance.
    (Please don’t tell me your gym teacher was a woman too!!)

  284. You’re right lorac! Remember when Hillary said, “I didn’t stay home and bake cookies….”? No, not bake SELL!!! SELL! SELL! SELL! Cookies! [cue diabolical music]

  285. “Ah, but the strawberries — that’s, that’s where I had them. They laughed at me and made jokes.” — Bogie..

    Queeg would fit right in today’s Pug party.

  286. NES – they all were!!!!! Also in high school, the track coaches, and the field hockey coaches – actually all of the girls’ sports coaches were women, except for the tennis coach.

    Matter of fact, our girls’ teams got their OWN name; we didn’t have to use the boys’ teams name, or a goofy diminutized name! (ie, most schools seem to be something like – Hoover Hawks for the boys, and the girls get stuck with something stupid like Hawkettes)

    I had a good high school 🙂

  287. I swear I used to be smart. My brains are leaking out somewhere now. I have no idea if diminutized is a word, or if it is, if I just spelled it right. Sigh.

  288. Yes, it all started with the cookies…..

  289. You’re cool on diminutized, lorac.

  290. Hahahahahaha. Good one, imust! Where, oh where, do you find these things?!

  291. FREDSTER! OMG, some of those bullets can travel FIVE miles!!!!

    One street over, if I look south, I can see a hill off in the distance, and I’ve been told it’s Mexico. Thankfully it’s more than five miles away.

    Wow. Five miles.

  292. PIE and Girl Scout cookies….what an evil combination!!! BWAHHHHAAAAAA!!!!! [that’s my evil laugh]

  293. I’m just making this comment to put the thread at 300 comments.

  294. I’m making this comment to put the thread at 301, so we can say the thread had “over 300 comments!”.

  295. Recipe for Girl Scout Cookie Pie

    I’ve always suspect elliesmom of being a subversive.

  296. imust, you’re right about Hillary and not baking cookies!

    NES, it’s good you asked for the mansplaining definition last night – but it’s becoming clear that the anti-girl scout guy wasn’t “mansplaining” – he was actually teling the truth about girl scouts! Wow, what a smart guy – he had the girl scouts figured out long before we made the Hillary girlscout/feminist/abortionlover – selling-not-baking-cookies connection!

  297. imust, maybe when Hillary said “I didn’t stay home and bake cookies…” she was indicating that she isn’t a lesbian. Of course, those dumb Pugs took the contrary meaning!

  298. I want it to be 305

  299. Girl Scout cookies:

  300. Did you see this from that recipe:

    Prep Time: 25 minutes
    Cook Time: 4 hours

    Well that’s a good day wasted right there.

  301. imustconfess….I was a Girl Scout

  302. So many comments! I have a feeling that when UW is off having ribs, it makes us all type more lol

  303. Okay my bad. I just actually read the recipe. It said cook time. Should have said “put in the fridge” time or something.

  304. imust you’re beautiful!


  305. Is that you as a little girl, imust? Cuuute.

  306. Yeah that’s me….I was a Benjamin Button before there was a Benjamin Button 😉

  307. From the new His44 post ROFL

    It would be nice to be a member of the Roman Catholic Church today. We could then give up Republican debates for Lent. But no such luck.

  308. That’s hilarious (from His44’s post).

  309. OMG. That GS poster is hilarious!!!!! I’d give imust a pengy if I didn’t already know the thing would die from lack of ice.

  310. Aren’t condoms (aka, rubbers) also contraceptives? Pretty sure they are.

    Yes. And men leave millions of little innocent potential babies in them day in and day out! God killed Onan for doing stuff like that without one.

  311. Well it IS good to know that when some POS is running from my house, a bullet can accidentally richochet and hit him in the back so that he goes down the steps hitting the ground face-first while I swear I discharged it while he was still in the house. I am heartened!

  312. Incidentally, if you use the brand name Popephylactics, which are approved by the Vatican, condoms are okay.

  313. Quite right on Onan, Upps.

  314. Fredster, I promise I won’t touch the Host! (or the hostess, for that matter, because she’ll just tell me that NES is first in line, if she ever decides to be curious lol)

    But wouldn’t that preclude the possibility that the hostess satisfied her curiousity long ago so that she could never be like Ted Haggard and say she is “heterosexual with issues” and other bullshit religious hypocrites get away with?

  315. Incidentally, if you use the brand name Popephylactics, which are approved by the Vatican, condoms are okay.

    Hahahahaha. Let me guess…they come wrapped in red felt.

  316. lorac, the mexican border is VERY close to Texas. VERY close. Close enough that people who live there will tell you they can hear the gunfire day and night. They can smell it. It’s ain’t Chicago, because if it were, Barack Obama would care more. Imagine living in fear day and night right here in the USA that a cartel slime from Mexico might kill you in the twinke of an eye.

  317. That’s quite a confession, Upps. (It must’ve been after you ate a GS cookie.)

  318. As for Rev Vet, I already begged him to write for me but alas, he is far too shy.

  319. but alas, he is far too shy.

    Give him a cookie…should relax him.

  320. “It is patently unfair that men can avoid unwanted fatherhood by presuming that their judgment over such matters is more valid than the judgment of the General Assembly, while women’s ability to decide is constantly up for debate throughout the United States.”

    Bahahahaa. They read me! They read me!

  321. After 7 births, a guy would have to tie a plank on his back so he wouldn’t fall in.

  322. Hahahahaha. Let me guess…they come wrapped in red felt.

    Inside a Prada box.

  323. Santorum says he’s trying to keep nukes out of Iran for 8 years,

    Yeah well I’m trying to keep Rick out of my pants for 8 years.

  324. Can someone explain why Santorum always looks like he’s wearing a diaper?

    Because too much pocket pool can ruin a two thousand dollar suit?

  325. define themselves using one word – after the break.

    without using the names of the seven dwarfs – I can’t do it…


  326. pocket pool

    Is that what I think it is? If so, grossssssss.

  327. Perry is in the audience…ha!

    Which is where all people with two-digit IQs belong.

  328. From NES’ forum link:

    Okay but what I am worried about is the fact that this system has to be cleared every once in a while for health purposes.

    Keep telling yourself that, son. Just keep saying that: “it’s only for health reasons…(faster) It’s only for health reasons…(and even faster) IT’S ONLY FOR HEALTH REASONS!!!!

  329. Hahahahaha. Let me guess…they come wrapped in red felt.

    No. They come with the inscription, “God is Good. God is Love. God is a Good Prophylactic”.

  330. No. They come with the inscription, “God is Good. God is Love. God is a Good Prophylactic”.


    I’m guessing they smell of incense.

  331. Perry was there to keep Satan at bay. And, to protect the flock of the righteous against the Mormon.

  332. Thought you’d enjoy that link, Fredster.

  333. Thought you’d enjoy that link, Fredster.

    Memries…of yadda yadda yadda.

    I see my Prada comment fell flat.

  334. This makes me ill:

    A Juvenile Court judge found enough evidence Wednesday to hold a 16-year-old boy on counts of illegal gun possession and resisting arrest, but none showing he fired the shots last week that injured two youths along the Uptown parade route, according to Orleans Parish District Attorney Leon Cannizzaro’s office. Cannizzaro spokesman Christopher Bowman declined to name the juvenile, but said he was packing a .40-caliber handgun with an extended, 30-round clip when police nabbed him on Feb. 16.

    “There was no evidence the juvenile did the shooting,” Bowman said. “The shooting and this event are two separate events.”

    Why did he have a 30 round clip? I don’t have one of those. Better yet, how the hell did a 16 yr old get a gun?

  335. I loved your Prada comment! Touche, mon cherie!

  336. I love it:

    An Ohio church is offering a drive-through Ash Wednesday blessing for parishioners pressed for time or reluctant to come inside the church for the Lenten observance. The Rev. Patricia Anderson Cook of Mount Healthy United Methodist Church in suburban Cincinnati offered the ashes Wednesday evening for people of all faiths beginning about 5 p.m. in the church parking lot.

    I wonder how fast she can that little thingie:
    Remember, that thou art dust, and to dust thou shalt return

  337. I meant to type how fast she can *say*…

  338. I loved your Prada comment! Touche, mon cherie!

    Thank you NES. 🙂

    I’m waiting to see how much longer before my browser crashes from trying to add a comment or reload the page. LOL!

  339. Oh well, I’m calling it a night, y’all.

  340. An Ohio church is offering a drive-through Ash Wednesday blessing for parishioners pressed for time

    Can I get fries with that?

  341. LOL! Someone on already commented about McAshes.

  342. But wouldn’t that preclude the possibility that the hostess satisfied her curiousity long ago

    Oh, you are cruel! Dangling that morsel! Perking up our interest, never to be requited with details!!! lol

  343. I gave those details to NES.


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