Moderator Kitteh Bill here….I get to make the first comment, it’s my blog, I can do that. The Woman has it all wrong. I should sue her for defamation of character. I have a good attorney too. The Woman thinks she’s HER attorney….hey, she’s not the only one who can Skype, you know what I mean? Anyway, I’m going on record right here on the blog
that everything the Woman said in that interview is FALSE! LIES! Nip has never even touched these cat lips…well, heh….I never inhaled anyway! So why do I stay, moderating this blog….working my paws to the bone for nary even a “Thank You Bill!”?? The Woman, plain and simple as that. I’m a sucker for a righteous rant and the Woman is the best. (But don’t tell her I said that, I’ll just deny it….I can do that…I’m a cat.)
Thank you for that heart-felt testimonial MKBill! Now before we get to our regular commenters, I thought I’d share some comments made by a few of Uppity Woman’s Blog lurkers. These are some rather famous, even infamous people you probably never would have guessed would be Uppityites!
1.) Ted Kennedy:
Yeah, it’s me, Ted Kennedy. Or rather, the ghost of Ted Kennedy. Here’s what happened. When I went sailing up to the pearly gates, Mary Jo was there to meet me…
wearing steel-toed boots! You can guess what she did with those boots can’t you? She said she got the idea from someone named Uppity Woman. So, with so much time on my hands….er..paws.. I figured I’d check out Uppity’s blog….and well…as the saying goes….the rest is HERstory. (I find myself saying stuff like that now, and I can’t figure why??) Anyway, thanks Uppity, I wish I had started reading your work years ago!
2.) A. Weiner:
I was never into blogging much before….twitter was my thing. But not long after I resigned my position
with congress….I was standing in front of a mirror….and out popped….(no, not that)…THE GHOST OF TED KENNEDY!! At first I thought my mirror was hacked! But then, for the next several hours, Ted led me on a twitterful journey through my past…it wasn’t a pretty sight. Ted told me I needed to change my ways and it wouldn’t hurt to read Uppity’s blog. I’ve been a faithful reader ever since! Thanks Uppity!
3.) Nancy Pelosi:
I started reading Uppity’s blog after being chased around the Capitol by the ghost of Ted Kennedy! I would have gotten away from him if I hadn’t tripped
over a ladder, which for some reason, had fallen to the ground. (There was this petite lady in running shoes and her needle-nose dog laughing about karma! I wonder if she had anything to do with it?) Anyway, it turned out okay. When Ted finally caught me, instead of making me into a “Nancy sandwich” like he always did….he forced me read to Uppity’s blog! After reading Uppity, I begged her forgiveness for being a ladder kickin’, back stabber….but she told me to eat Barack’s vibrating cell phone.
I’m getting a little worried about these new commenters. They’re not exactly Uppity’s favorite people. I’d better ask MKBill if they’ll make it past the spam filter. Bill? Bill?
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…huh? Wah?? Are you ashking me a queshhun?? I’ll take ‘Tabbies for $20 Alexsh….wait! wrong shwoo, I mean schmo, I mean ..where’s Vanna?..oh schuze me….I gotta go pee…..
You know, maybe I’d better ask Uppity herself. I’ll poke around outside the Great Room and see if I can find her. Wait! I think I see her! hmm…..she looks kind of busy too. Aww….what am I worried about? Uppity will be glad to welcome Ted, Anthony and Nancy to the blog! The more the merrier, she always says! (She does always say that…doesn’t she??)
Well then, I’m sure she won’t mind if I solicit another famous personality for an Uppity testimonial….none other than…..Rush Limbaugh!
Okay, so I was up late at my radio station
boozing and doing drugsworking. I dozed off during a commercial break….wait, we don’t have sponsors anymore, so it was really
just a break…when a vision came to me. It was Ronald Reagan. He’d been talking to the ghost of Ted Kennedy. Ronnie came to warn me about this “Uppity Woman” person who was bad-mouthing me on her blog! So I read some of her hysterical (and I DON’T mean funny) rants. If Ronnie thinks I’m listening to that sl@t…that femina………….UH-OH!!!!!!!!!!
RUSH!! THIS IS GOD SPEAKING!!!! ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME RUSH?? STOP WHIMPERING!! I’M TIRED OF YOU CRACKPOTS SPEAKING FOR ME! YOU’RE MAKING ME SOUND AS CRAZY AS YOU PEOPLE!! I’M NOTHING LIKE YOU!! HEAR ME? YOU’RE ALL GIVING ME A BAD REPUTATION! I CAME HERE BY SPECIAL REQUEST FROM IMUST! SHE ASKED ME TO ADD A TESTIMONIAL FOR UPPITY’S 4TH BLOG-A-VERSARY! WHO BETTER THAN ME TO GIVE A “TESTIMONIAL”, RIGHT? WHY, I PRACTICALLY INVENTED THE TERM!! ROCL (rolling on the cloud laughing)!!! SO I COME HERE AND FIND YOU HERE!! OFF WITH YOU RUSH!! I’M SENDING YOU ON A LITTLE VACATION, HEH, I CAN DO THAT….I’M GOD 🙂 JUST BE SURE TO PACK….OH , NEVERMIND….YOU WON’T NEED TO PACK ANYTHING WHERE YOU’RE GOING!!! RRRRROOOCCCCLL!!!!!! (I crack myself up!)
Now for my Uppity testimonial. You don’t mind if I use my regular voice do you? My omnipresent voice makes my throat hurt. So yes, the burning question (no pun intended), I DO read Uppity’s blog, daily! It’s my only vice! Don’t tell NES and lorac, (they’ll be so J), I also Skype with her! So listen up! AND THAT INCLUDES YOU RUSH!!! I plan on telling Uppity when the next rapture date will be…yeah…that’s right! Don’t listen to anyone but Uppity! DID YOU HEAR THAT LIMBAUGH? LISTEN TO
THE UPPITY WOMAN!!!! KAAA-BOOOM!!! (I love doing that to him!) Follow Uppity’s instructions, to the letter! Even if you find some of her instructions odd….like where to leave all your jewelry, your cash and the keys to your safe deposit boxes. Do whatever she tells you…and send money…LOTS of money!! Got that? Okay, finally my last instructions (do I have enough characters left on this tablet?)….all you “regulars” and “lurkers”, (except Rush)…I’m COMMANDING you to add your own testimonial about your hostess, the one and only, (and I should know) UPPITY WOMAN, to the comment section….OR THERE WILL BE PUNISHMENTS!!! KAAA-BOOOM!!!! (ROCL that never gets old!) Uppity said to tell you that there will also be “prizes” for the best testimonials. Winner gets 1 dinner night with Uppity! The loser gets 2 dinner nights with Uppity!! Haha! I really do crack myself up here! Seriously, start working on those testimonials….and they better be good! Prizes are penguins…or pies…something that started with a “P” I’m not sure…..Begin your comments like this…”Ever since I found Uppity’s blog…” or “I started visiting Uppity’s blog when….” One more thing…. RUSH!?!! THIS IS IMPORTANT….. TELL YOUR MISOGYNIST FRIENDS……………WAIT FOR IT……WAIT…FOR…..IT………………...I’M A WOMAN!!!!!! DEAL WITH IT!!!!!! BWAAHAHAHAH!! 🙂
Imusthavepie here again….I figured I’d let God have all the time and space she needs….she’s GOD after all…she can do that! Is she still here??
So here’s a few examples of last year’s testimonials to get you started….
When I found Uppity’s blog and started reading her daily, my psoriasis disappeared!
Since I became a regular at Uppity’s place, my cat has stopped spraying!
I haven’t had a cavity in three years.
Before I found Uppity’s blog, I was hooked on drugs. Now I’m hooked on Uppity’s blog.
My doctor told me that if I returned to Uppity’s blog, my rash would go away.
what are you waiting for?….Get going….you don’t want to make HER mad!!! (either HER!!)
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