NASA ruins it for this year’s Rapture swindlers – by debunking the Mayan Doomsday Moose Poop.

More scary end of world crap.

I guess all the religious con artists in the USA will have to find a more legitimate way to make money this year — and all the  Rapture crackpots will have to find some other insane reason to be crazy and scream about the End Of The World. NASA has debunked the Mayan Calendar, End of World scam.

Just as the calendar you have on your kitchen wall does not cease to exist after December 31, the Mayan calendar does not cease to exist on December 21, 2012. This date is the end of the Mayan long-count period but then — just as your calendar begins again on January 1 — another long-count period begins for the Mayan calendar.

But I don’t hold out much hope for these crazy-asses.  These Rapture morons just can’t live an entire year without another scam.

Harold Camping, the Darling of  last year’s End Of The World finally admitted he was “wrong”. Whoda thunk he was wrong!?Translation; He was a bullshitting con- man  and swindler who made millions sucker-punching his listeners who, ironically, seem to be more Frightened of God than Loving of God. He disappeared after his Rapture prediction landed in the crapper. His radio show went dead, but he’s baaaaaaaaaaaack now to tell you he was wrong. However, I couldn’t find any record of him saying he would be returning the money he conned out of his deserving brain-addled believers. To make things look even more stupid, he still  actually has listeners and followers. Apparently, these people have ripped out the part about “False Profits” from their bibles.

These are people who spend their lives annoying everyone else, declaring they can’t wait to Be With The Lord, yet the minute one of them gets sick enough, they fight like hell not to go. No kidding. They will let any doctor do anything to them not to go Be With The Lord. I guess that could be where the saying, “You can’t fool God” must come from.

One thing is for certain:  If the saying, “There’s a sucker born every minute” holds true, they all eventually become evangelicals who follow thieves like Harold Camping.

Cheer up, Rapture psychos! It’s early in the year and I am sure one of Yours will come up with another reason to panic you for dollars. I sure hope so. I love writing Rapture satires and making fun of the whole lot of you Mentally Unstables, also known as Rick Santorum’s clinically insane base.

But thanks for the writing material, morons.

Also see:

Atheists Promise To Care For Pets After The Next Scheduled Rapture February 24, 2010

Oh Goodie! We Have Another Rapture Date To Add To The Endless List April 5, 2011

I Can’t Procrastinate Any Longer! This Year’s End Of World is Only Three Days Away! May 18, 2011

The Up All Night Waiting For My Ass To Be Raptured Thread May 20, 2011

Is…Is it over? May 22, 2011

Surprise! It’s Close To Rapture Time Again. And Again. And Again October 18, 2011

The Up All Night Wondering If My Ass Will Be Raptured. Take Two. October 20, 2011

I Survived The Rapture Again! And It Looks Like Everybody Else Did Too!

Here’s a sane person explaining nicely with a forced straight face why this year’s End Of World is all bullshit just like  last time. And last time. And last time.


96 Responses

  1. I’m really bummed out. First there was no rapture, so I didn’t get to pick out a new abandoned car. Now my plans to max out my credit cards before the end of the year are shot.

  2. Harold Camping said that he had sinned when he made the prediction.

  3. But God said he’d tell you Uppity, right? 😉

  4. Damn it! And I was so looking forward to “The Rapture” and all the vagina inspectors floating off to where ever- leaving the rest of us in peace. So I suppose this means we have to continue to put up with them?

  5. *Breaking* Hordes of terrorists, all wearing green, gather on Hoover Dam!! Word is they were singing and chanting! Some were eating cookies!!,0,7593944.story

  6. “Hordes of terrorists”. Ha, Ha, Ha!

  7. Sure, you’re laughing now. But wait until next year when the new ice age starts and guess who will be running things?

  8. Damn logic and reason. I had big plans, big plans I tell you. I was hoping to get in on some of the rapture cash flow……hadn’t decided exactly how……..maybe a radio show, LMAO!

    The ice age eh Oswald? I think the leaders of that movement have already been decided…….they call it “Climate Change”. They figured out their BS wasn’t working out so well with “Global Warming” a few years ago and quickly adjusted the name to “Climate Change”. Sorry buddy but those hucksters have any climate phenomena locked up for at least the next few decades.

  9. Oswald, so the Brownies will be running thing then?

  10. ACK! Lesbian Terr’ists!!!!

    Hey imust, you should do a post on this, girl! This is your kinda stuff.

    Um…….Oswald, I wouldn’t be bragging on ice. If that happens we will just transfer you to imust, who has a penchant for depleting ice in her drinks.

  11. Yes imust, I was just on the phone with God about that.

    WLM, Camping failed to say he ‘sinned’ all the way to the bank.

  12. jay that reminds me of when I was living in an apartment and my landlady (bless her heart, she made the best meatballs, would make you cry) said the end of the world was I said, Well then you won’t mind if I don’t pay the rent this month?

  13. God and I are so close he asked me to pick up a loaf of bread and some milk when I got shopping this afternoon.

  14. the end of the world was I said, Well then you won’t mind if I don’t pay the rent this month?
    😆 😆

  15. But wait until next year when the new ice age starts and guess who will be running things?


  16. Hilarious on that interview, voter mom. The FBI and IRS are probably investigating that kid now.

  17. whaaaaaat! No Uppity blogging from heaven?!

  18. You know the religious right baffle me really.
    They preach forgiveness and love, yet are the first to point fingers of condemnation and hate.
    They preach abstinence and faithfulness while they are out screwing your neighbor and usually a few hookers.
    They want to tell you what you can do with your body but trust me most of them are not popping out hordes of kids either.
    They go after the gay community while under the cloak of darkness they are looking at sex videos of gay sex or worse yet eyeballing your child with lust.
    They thump on a book called the bible which is not the kindest book to women but not as bad as the upcoming bibles replacement rule book the Koren.
    The religious right are the biggest hypocrites in this world followed by the climate change group and out in the running for hypocrisy are the tree huggers.
    Need money anyone ? Jump on the band wagon and you too can be rich beyond your wildest dreams. Start a new religion or an end of earth cause and get some followers. It isn’t hard to do because it seems folks need as cause and leader to follow rather then use their heads for something other then a hat rack.

  19. whaaaaaat! No Uppity blogging from heaven?!

    Well who knows, NES. They might predict hell freezing over, which would provide a whole nuther blogging opportunity.

  20. Michelle thoughts during this interview:This little shit is a right winger’s kid. Hope she doesn’t get the chance to ask me how come I am demanding BMI scores from schools…before we pull the little bastard off with a hook.

  21. You know, I don’t believe Up’s assertion that she has a direct line to God. I think God can be found in Bill’s catnip, which would explain why Bill DOESN’T feel high as a kite when he DOESN’T inhale/chew. And that south of the border, grown beside blue gave plants stuff? That will send you straight into space, much closer to God, not that Bill knows of course. Maybe God can be found in green olives…Bill may want to do some research.

  22. Make that agave plants…and to think I took typing in high school…

  23. It’s all Moot because God is a cat.

    Contrary to the lying rumor that God is a Dog, he’s a Cat.

    That God is Dog rumor was made up by dyslexic dog lovers, who kept typing “dog” instead of “god”, if they had any brains, would be cat lovers instead. But then they would be running around typing Tac instead of Cat. It’s kind of like that. It’s like with the Dyslexic pagan who sold his soul to Santa, you know?

    Cat,this Meowie Wowie stuff from that illegal alien undocumented migrant kitteh is sure good. You all better pray to Cat that my supply doesn’t run out.

    By the way, click on my name link and see where the rest of your blog donations go.

  24. Gleep. I know for a fact that on the 6th day he made uppity bloggers.

  25. FLOTUS after interview: “What do you mean I can’t put kids in Gitmo? Get me Holder right now!”

  26. That little girl interviewing mo was no doubt a G irl Scout!

  27. Yea she was clearly a cookie eating lesbian.

  28. HAH! I just LOVE this woman! She asks why, oh why, do extremists want to control women. From her remarks at WITW. Sorry if you all saw this- I am still catching up from the road trip. Oh- and that Meryl Streep tribute? Wish I owned stock in Kleenex.

  29. Gleep. I know for a fact that on the 6th day he made uppity bloggers.

    It took all His energy because, as we all know, he rested on the seventh day.

  30. AMEN to that, utah.

  31. Now get this…Obama said he’s “proud of our troops, generally.” The guy can’t hide his contempt.

  32. Their talking about the death sentence for the soldier. Obama was shocked and horrified. Where’s that Fort Hood goatfucker and why isn’t he dead yet? About him, Obama waited three days to say anything and then said we shouldn’t ‘jump to conclusions”. You want to talke comtempt?

  33. Yes NES. He had to rest on teh seventh day because of uppity bloggers, no doubt.

  34. Bob Morris wants you to beware of girls and women who eat cookies because that is like a secret handshake thing.

  35. Yup- that dirtbag Hassan is still alive- ON OUR DIME! What the hell? Treasonous bastard should have gone before a firing squad a LONG time ago. Do they think if they wait long enough we will forget?
    Not this proud military mom. Not now. Not ever. I WILL REMEMBER! That ratbastard is a disgrace to the uniform.

  36. Oh just “stepped in it big time ….”

    President Obama said Tuesday that the United States is “heartbroken” over the Afghan civilians allegedly killed by a U.S. soldier, and takes the deaths as “seriously” as if the victims were from the United States.

  37. Hello (((UPPITY’S))))–been here all day catching UP

    PMM: LOVE THE VIDEO OF HILLARY——-She LOOKS firgen exhausted——I can’t wait till she sits back and gets rested up to fight another day

    I’m a bit behind, but I believe it was UW: who gave us Meryl streep video—just wonderful !!

    I am so proud to be a woman when I see these things–we are the best of the TwO(man vs woman)—-no doubt


    I”M WITH YOU PMM: that son of a bitch should have been executed a long long time AGO !!

  39. Family Values Congressman Joe Walsh (R-Ill, Hypocrite) is $117,000 behind on child support.

  40. Pamela, funny how he didn’t take the Fort Hood victims ‘seriously’ as if they were from the USA, which they were.

    By the way, thank you for the blog contribution. You always come through for Bill.

  41. Darn, Uppity–I was really looking forward to the grand finale. Now I have to make other solstice plans.

    PMM: Thanks for linking to Hillary–she is so right on the money. We need her here.

  42. Here’s my take-away from Hillary’s speech with accompanying audio visual materials (each posted in their own comment so MK Bill doesn’t throw a hissy).

    In America, in Tunisia, anywhere in the world, women should have the right to make their own choices. About what they wear, how they worship, the jobs they do, the causes they support, These are choices women have to make for themselves. And they are a fundamental test of Democracy.

    Why extremists always focus on women remains a mystery to me. But they all seem to. It doesn’t matter what country they’re in or what religion they claim, they all want to control women. They want to control how we dress, they want to control how we act, they even want to control the decisions we make about our own health and our own bodies.

    Yes, it is hard to believe, but even here at home, we have to stand up for women’s rights and reject efforts to marginalize any one of us. Because America needs to set an example for the entire world. And it seems clear to me that to do that we have to live our own values. We need to defend our own values. We need to respect each other, empower all our citizens, and find common ground.

  43. Candy Crowley just announced that all the people that are voting for Santorum and Gingrich will come ‘home’ to Romney in the fall. She reminded the audience that all the Hillary voters ended up voting for the Fraud. She obviously hasn’t run into any Uppity Women. Makes me figure nothing else she says has any validity.

  44. Family Values Congressman Joe Walsh (R-Ill, Hypocrite) is $117,000 behind on child support.

    That’s because Republicans don’t care about kids after they’re born.

  45. Wait, wait…now we have penguins commenting on politics?!

  46. Has Mittens found any Southern comfort today?

  47. NES. We can only hope. I did my part for Mittens in Georgia.

  48. Mittens is losing the south people.

  49. Mittens is losing the south people.

    He ain’t too popular at the south pole neither.

  50. imust,

    Yep, he’s in third.

  51. I give up on Republicans. They’re all nuts.

  52. Yes, indeed they are. MSM is calling Alabama for Prick Rick.

  53. Just as the calendar you have on your kitchen wall does not cease to exist after December 31

    Um. *MY* calendar ends on Dec 31….. lol

  54. lorac,

    Yep, my calendar ends up in the round file after Dec. 31.. 😀

  55. Looks like it’s gonna be Rick – Newt – Mitt in both states.

  56. I give up on Republicans. They’re all nuts.

    Yep, one is DEFINITELY tempted to.

  57. I’ll note that Mitt was never expected to win these deep-South-states. The fact that he appears to be close to Gingrich means it’s a better-than-expected performance, doesn’t it? When it comes to the GE, any R will win the antebellum South (except, perhaps, for VA, which is purple).

  58. Mitt is the media ordained “front runner”, if he doesn’t win, they’ll claim he’s weak. He has a lot more delegates than Santorum, but I’ll be Saint-atarium will start calling for Mitt to drop out.

  59. Yep, my calendar ends up in the round file after Dec. 31..

    Mine usually hangs on the wall until mid-February.

  60. Mitt will take Utah, Calif, and CA will put him ahead. I am positive he has Utah. Catholics arte not real popular here lol.

  61. Right winger will fight to the end to push their agendas on us just as hard as left wingers will. They vote for the one that represents their ideas and beliefs rather then vote what is good for the whole. Me I would not vote for Sanctimonious, or Newt if I had a loaded gun to my head. I will vote for Mitt but only because I consider it a vote against Obama. I am as happy this time around as I was last. Going in holding my nose once again.

  62. These rapture things are like Kmart blue light specials now.

  63. They vote for the one that represents their ideas and beliefs rather then vote what is good for the whole.

    This concept seems to be repeating itself every election cycle.

  64. If Newt drops out then pRick will get a big boost.

  65. They vote for the one that represents their ideas and beliefs rather then vote what is good for the whole.

    To be fair, pretty much everyone thinks their ideas and beliefs ARE what is good for the whole.

    Catholics arte not real popular here lol.

    We got millions of Catholics out here in California. Lots of them aren’t eligible to vote though.

  66. I just looked at the results, it looks like Satan barely beat Mittens in Al & MS, but killed in Kansas on Sat. What IS the matter with Kansas?

  67. myiq, LOL! Acorn will make them eligible!

  68. “…If Newt drops out then pRick will get a big boost.”

    There’s a terrifying thought!

    Arizona says you have to prove to your boss you need the pill for reasons other than you are a humping slut.

    I say bring your used tampons to him during his lunch and ask him to analyze.

  70. Nobody sees a correlation here? Republicans look nuts just like Democrats look nuts, because both of these parties have been hijacked by insane people, leaving everyone else in shock and awe.

  71. Looking for Irishr read to write post for St. Patrick’s day.

  72. Holy Chit about the Arizona law! I’m speechless!

  73. I’m in charge of a bunch of teens going bowling on St Pats day. It will be a long nite.

  74. Egads! I was looking online for the Hawaii gop caucus and found a site saying that this may be craziepauls chance for 1st win.


    I want what their drinking!

  75. goofs, LOL! Hows the job going?

    oh gosh, laker left some sports channel on and now its got barky blathering on and on about college basketball. Why couldn’t he have gone to work for espn or something? Its obviously what he really cares about.

  76. Hi ya socal,

    Job is going great! It’s wonderful to be back working full time.

    Thanks for asking. 😀

  77. OMG. These crazy people have been out there all along, they’re all just jumping out now, all together!

    I swear, then the women should band together and say NO SEX unless the man is wearing TWO CONDOMS. If women aren’t allowed to use contraception, then either the men step up, or there is no sex. These people are CRAZY CRAZY CRAZY. I think they just want a billion kids born that no one can support or care for. Idiots.

  78. As far as barky knowing anything about college sports… pfffft. I’d rather hear who Mechelle thinks will win.

  79. lorac,

    Another way to look at it is they want all these kids being born, so the kids can work and take care of their elders. sheesh

  80. goofs – you may be right. I’ve read that’s also a major factor in why both parties don’t really do anything about illegal immigrants, especially those from less developed countries where they still have a million kids – they’re worried about our having enough people in this country.

    I don’t think it’s *really* very long term thinking. It’s not sustainable. Do we have to have wall to wall cities before they’re happy? We’re already looking at water shortages as it is. IMO, we need fewer people, but a better way to plan things than to simply just “grow, grow, grow”!

  81. “…If Newt drops out then pRick will get a big boost.”

    pRick will get a big ‘head.’

  82. Arizona says you have to prove to your boss you need the pill for reasons other than you are a humping slut.

    Will there be inspections on a casting couch?

  83. Actually lorac, underpopulation in the West is a big problem. Eg, there are towns in Italy that are unsustainable due to underpopulation. As a non-breeding person, I don’t have a solution to offer. But, unless the West starts breeding a whole lot more it’ll be overtaken by guess-who (hint: they f*ck goats).

  84. Maybe women are just getting sick and tired of giving birth to their own oppressors.

  85. I suggest Arizona women throw their used tampons in a plastic bag and bring them to their bosses while they are eating lunch == and ask them to analyze The Need.

  86. NES, but I think they need to think of a different way to deal with that. If you follow it further and further, everyone will have to keep growing, and we’ll all be living 20 people to a home and mental health will disintegrate and we’ll just be in permanent war. Well, at least it will be after us!

  87. Yes, thank god it’ll be after we’re dead and gone, lorac.

Comments are closed.