Here in Uppityville, we’re Ani’s Army. There are still Ani-books wanting to escape their confinement, looking for a good, loving home! It’s our moral imperative to find a way to set them free! We have a plan. We have a purpose. We will overcome! lol
One note before we begin discussing our stealth maneuvers – when interacting with those humanoids and possibly botzoids outside the safety of
this blog our green zone, it’s important to keep your rage at the Obama machine in check. Keep your focus on women, and the unfairness with which the media treats them. We don’t want to turn anyone off to Ani’s book and its valuable insights because the smoke from our ears is stinging their eyes. I myself am still struggling with this phase!!
LEVEL ONE: Solitary stealth! (wear your pajamas!)
1. If you twitter, you can tweet about it (to be clear, we are not talking about twinkle fingers, we are talking about tweeting fingers!)
2. If you have your own blog, or comment on others’ blogs, talk about it!
3. If you do Facebook, make Ani famous on your wall!
4. Go to amazon.com and write a review on her book, and mark off “likes” to others’ reviews
5. Call your local bookstores, and ask them if they are carrying Ani’s book (and of course, if they don’t have it yet, heap praise on it and encourage them to order it for their shelves!)
LEVEL TWO: GIFTS!!!!
6. Think about whose birthdays are coming up and ferret away a copy
7. Know anyone who is studying undergraduate political science? Give them a book; help prepare them for the real world!
8. Think of your most misogynistic teacher and send him a copy! JUST kidding!
LEVEL THREE: Move surreptitiously amongst the uneducated, unwashed masses – beware of kool aid spills on the ground.
9. Some places have tables out front – “take a paperback, leave a paperback” (leave Ani’s!) (Take an Obama book and throw it out! – JUST kidding!)
10. Put on your trenchcoat, and nonchalantly sit for a few minutes in the waiting room for an MD with primarily female patients. Have a little rest, pick up a magazine from the coffee table, and pretend to be interested that Brad and Jen are breaking up. When you put that outdated magazine back down, place a copy of Ani’s book right there with it! Then glide right back out, no one the wiser!
LEVEL FOUR: Outright donation, no disguise necessary at this level, but make sure to bring your bat-ring, in case you encounter a bot!
10. Donate a book to a library in your town
11. Donate a book to the women’s studies department nearest you
12. Some larger cities have
lebonese lesbian bookstores – but don’t be afraid, WOMEN’s bookstores actually sell BOOKS! Trenchcoat and sunglasses optional, but get in there and donate a book!
13. Hospitals and nursing homes often have longer term patients, and the volunteer office should have a book/magazine rack. The volunteers patrol the floors, looking for patients who would like to check out a book. They’re always in need of donations!
LEVEL FIVE: Donation through (non-virtual) social interaction
14. If you’re in a book club, suggest Ani’s book as the topic for the next month
15. Have a Sex in the City lunch with some of your friends, but instead of talking about boys, talk about WOMEN and their treatment by the media. With your Uppity Woman talent, bring the conversation around to this great new book that not so coincidentally touches on all these same topics!!!!
13. While hanging out at the water cooler at work, make an observation about how the bubbles rise to the surface when nothing is holding them back. Draw a correlation to how women in politics are held back by the media’s focus on their looks instead of their talents and accomplishments. People will be wowed by your existential understanding of life! Slip Ani’s book into the conversation.
LEVEL SIX: HELP US HELP YOU to HELP ANI AND THE WORLD!
Here’s another offer for those for whom money is tight right now. We will send out a book to a library or women’s studies department! We need you to call the library or women’s studies department, confirm they take donations, and get a contact name and shipping address. Then, using the email you signed up to UW with, send email@example.com the details! Wouldn’t it be cool if we could cross the country with Ani’s book? Your name and address need not be revealed for LEVEL SIX – just your email address to Uppity. She has super duper high security clearance, you know! (Although it’s not as high as MKBill’s, but don’t tell her.)
Finally, always remember one of Hillary’s favorite sayings:
Bloom where you are planted.
Well, let’s plant a bunch of Ani’s books across the country and watch the flower show!
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