I had to interrupt my birthday ego-trip post for Newt. It must be done. I have waited for this moment.
Well, Newt is finally out of the race, as IF anybody in their right mind would have imagined he could be President.
Thanks for quitting Newt. It’s a great birthday present!
Now here was a guy who could have conceivably entered the WH with one wife and leave with another.
In addition to wishing Good Riddance to a serial adulterer, this is a guy who is the poster boy for what’s wrong with the Defense Of Marriage Act. There has to be something wrong with people who think marriage is so sacred that they just can’t help doing it over and over again. Under President Newt, the Defense of Marriage Act would have to be changed to the Defense Of Marriage-Divorce-Remarriage-Divorce-Remarriage Act.
I also know it is a big loss to America not to have a President who knows absolutely everything there is to know about everything, and all you have to do is ask him. Newt is just like that guy we’ve all met in our lives. You know, the one who is a total asshole, and everybody knows it but him.
So long Newt. Make it permanent this time, will ya? After all there are so many opportunities out there to bilk the taxpayer through government-agency consulting with smarmy people like yourself – just like you did at Fannie Mae. With no hope of having you as President, I guess the poor children of America will just have to wait for another opportunity to earn their lunch by cleaning the bathrooms at school between classes.
Oh and Newt–try to keep this wife a little longer, will you? You’re starting to look like a really seedy and insincere Pillsbury Doughboy.
More importantly, nobody whose tie covers his entire pants zipper should ever be taken seriously.
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