Henri – Politique

Bill urges you to contribute to any cats running for office.

Let’s face it, they are far more honest than the revolting two-legged creepy critters we have now.  Cats are more intelligent than these cretins, which, Bill admits, isn’t hard to be. And they certainly know all about Entitlements vs. Rights.

Witness what a **Cat Congress would look like when a sunbeam hits the room. They understand. They understand.

“We’ve come up against an unforeseen circumstance, but we’ll resume deliberation and voting as quickly as is reasonably possible,” said majority leader and Budget Committee chaircat Sen. Creamsicle (D-ND), stretching out to his entire length and repeatedly kneading the chamber carpet. “I think I speak for most of my colleagues when I say that, while it is extremely important we continue the legislative work at hand, we must first give this warm and bright beam of light the due consideration it deserves.”

“And we should, er, debate this for as long as it takes,” added Creamsicle, softly swishing his tail back and forth. “Perhaps all day, if we have to.”

A majority of senators seemed to agree with Creamsicle. Eighty-nine of the 100 congresscats present immediately joined the new Sunbeam Investigative Committee, and a number of subcommittees are also reported to have been created, the largest of which has been tasked with determining the value of lazily batting at rising dust motes while half-asleep.

A small minority of feline senators, however, took issue with the procedural delay. Sen. Poppy (D-DE) was especially vocal, claiming that the Senate should ignore the seemingly intractable sunbeam issue and continue with other, more pressing matters.

“This irresponsible stoppage is absolutely unacceptable,” Poppy said. “Frivolous distractions like these are robbing our constituents of the soft, cozy shafts of…I mean, the reforms they so desperately need…so desperately need… I yield my remaining time.”

A number of animals have run for office through the years, and some have been successful in the long term as well. Of them all, cats are truly the best choice. They learn from their mistakes for starters. I had a cat who loved to sit atop the front door whenever it was open — and  he would ‘greet” people with his long-legs. This worked out well for him until the day I closed the door and didn’t realize he was up there. His tail lived on to tell the….tale, but I can assure you he never sat atop that door again. Ever. Wouldn’t it be nice if our elected officials and candidates understood the intelligence of not repeating the same bad bullshit ideas over and over again?There is also the issue of male vs. female cats. I have always maintained that if you have ten cats in a room and only one of them is a female, you can pick her out. She’s the one in charge. And believe me, things run VERY smoothly.

I am so ashamed!

Dogs are a bit laid back and probably would have their version of “Golf” if elected, and sometimes they are a bit too eager to please their masters, say for example, really rich puppet-masters.

It is also very easy to shame a dog. In fact there’s a whole photo site dedicated to Dog Shaming.

We can’t have some dog sucking up to, begging, and apologizing  to a bunch of savages over in other ends of the planet, can we now?

I mean we already have that degrading shit going on right now.

Then there are barnyard animals.

Barnyard animals, they are hard to socialize and more difficult to control, and sometimes they smell a lot, just like most of the creatures we already have in office.

They also tend to rut indiscriminately. Let’s face it, they do it whenever they get the chance.

I am sure you will agree, we already have enough pigs in office. Including at the trough.

So cats, it is. DO feel free to nominate your cat for President. I am sure he/she is far superior to the Creme de la Crappe we have for choices right now. Watching people try to polish these two-party turds is simply too embarrassing to bear.

Bill forgives Henri for stealing his idea–insofar as a cat can forgive. Which isn’t much. But I am not sure Henri is the best choice. His French is horrific. Still….

**Photo from “The Onion,” Cats in Congress Mired in Sunbeam

33 Responses

  1. “I’ve never seen a dog mess with him.” P**** was a mayor of an Alaskan town… just sayin’.

    http://edition.cnn.com/2012/07/17/us/alaska-cat-mayor/index.html

  2. Post has been updated for further clarity.

  3. Uppity:
    Welcome back, I missed you!

  4. A short-lived burst of energy, bellecat. It’s good to hear from you too!

  5. my Belle -the cat- would have been an excellent vice-president choice for Hillary…

  6. how can I upload the picture of my Belle as my avatar? I’ve tried and seems to cost money…

  7. You read my mind bellecat. I just updated to encourage cat nominations for President, as they are all certainly superior to the Creme de la Crappe choices we have right now. Watching people try to polish these turds is just embarrassing.

  8. no it doesn’t cost a thing, bellecat. You go to gravatar.com. register and upload your icon there. That’s what we all did. It’s tied to wordpress.

  9. “I wonder if he can see Russia from his litter box?”

    ….wins the comment prize

  10. RIP Bill.

  11. Uppity:
    Yesterday was the 2 year anniversary of the passing of my beloved companion of 18 years; Madame Belle.
    I’ll work on the avatar.
    By the by, her picture is embedded in my computer and screen…???
    When I turn the computer her picture comes on full spread on the screen…
    Watch out evil, she is in control of the media…

  12. Ah she’s your screensaver. Good choice. I have my pets as my screen saver as well, they rotate. Great thing to look at when you return to your computer. RIP Madame Belle, you good girl, you.

    Go here, Bellecat. It’s easy.
    http://en.gravatar.com/

    You’ll see a pic of Matt, the founder/developer of WordPress. He is the nicest guy ever. Unlike blogspot, if you have a question, Matt answers it. Personally. No kidding.

  13. Cats are also harder to bribe. They take the treat/catnip/special toy with no feelings of obligation.

    My cats may not be able to see Russia but the box location they like the best has a great view of the deck and the adjacent sycamore tree (squirrels and birds and wafting leaves – oh my!).

  14. Photos. 13 animals who ran for office.
    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/09/06/pets-in-politics-animals-who-ran-for-office_n_1859256.html?icid=maing-grid10%7Chtmlws-main-bb%7Cdl26%7Csec1_lnk2%26pLid%3D202056#slide=1450294

  15. You do know that PIE is running for president? Here have a campaign hat…it’s free.

    Pie2012

  16. Anyone hear Netanyahu’s UN speech?

  17. True, the video is proof positive: cats > dogs.Enjoyable too ♪♪♪♪♪.

    Happy to report my recent feline acquisition (Rosie) has things here pretty well sized up and organized. Of course she is bright. Also quietly authoritative. Laid back spunky. Must admit I’m enjoying her style.

    Politically I’m about 75° another way with most here, but that doesn’t mean I don’t stop by regularly to see how you are.

  18. NES, I didn’t hear the speech, should I check it out on youtubes?

    In response ot Akin’s latest disclosure of how his neanderthal right wing nut job mind works, Jezebel writer Erin Gloria Ryan says this:

    “Femininity expert and giant elderly fetus Todd Akin is moving his mouth parts and making awful sounds again. This time, rather than sharing his opinions about Rape Science, he’s got an opinion about his opponent Senator Claire McCaskill, who he has determined is poised to lose the election because she is less “ladylike” than she was the first time she ran for Senate. Either a sexist brain slug from 1955 has taken control of Todd Akin’s thinkbox, or Todd Akin is organically one of the stupidest, most out of touch dumbasses to run for Senate in a dog’s age. He makes me miss Christine O’Donnell.

    The latest round of offending remarks came today, when Akin told the Kansas City Star that he still believes that he can defeat the incumbent because McCaskill somehow lost her vagina during the years after her first Senate victory and has forgotten how to Woman to Todd Akin’s specifications.”

    Well said Erin. Reminds me of an Uppity Woman rant!

    here is the whole thing:

    http://jezebel.com/you.re-akin-my-heart/

  19. Pam, good to see you even if you’ve gone over to the dark side. 😉

    Just kiddin. But it is good to see you! Best of luck with Rosie.

  20. Yes good luck 😉

  21. Yes, Karen, do check out Bibi’s speech. It packs a wallop.

  22. OK. let’s see if this time the avatar works, because I want to show off Madame Belle…

  23. Uppity:
    I’ve been working for 2 days to get my Belle as my avatar…?

  24. Luv! the “Cats are better than dogs”…

  25. Belle is stunning.

    Thanks, NES, I just watched the whole 32 minute vid. Very moving and clearly a light of reason in the world. 15 years he’s been beating the same storyline and people are just now starting to really listen. The future of millions depends on sanity ruling the day.

  26. Way to go Pamela! Good luck with your kitteh! You deserve a good one after all you did for Tiger Lilly. You’re the best no matter what the percentage of your agreement is, so there.

    She’s boooooootiful Belle. Just beautiful!

  27. More proof that dogs are also more lonely than cats.

  28. and that cats have more patience than dogs (and better manners!)

  29. In case your life does not have enough high quality drama, a dramatic performance of the ingredients on a box of macaroni and cheese:

  30. A friend who works for the state of Oregon e-mailed me today: “The state is spending a lot of money on educating employees about diversity and doing a lot of diversity activities. However, I think it boils down to only two types of people–those who speak cat and those who don’t. I am glad we both speak cat.”

  31. Yes, speaking Cat is critical.

  32. LOL. “Wheyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy”.

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