This is a sad time for Twinkie and Ho Ho addicts. Hostess is filing for bankruptcy and liquidating assets as well as about 18000 employees.
I imagine Twinkies freeze well. Besides, they have a shelf life of something like Forever, so Twinkie-Ites can stock up. Ditto for White Bread. And nobody does White Bread like Hostess.
There was a time when it was rumored that Twinkies could survive a Nuclear attack. No kidding. That’s how long they last and how tough they are
Now why do Twinkies last forever, you ask? You are asking that, right? Well, because they have enough preservatives in them to kill a rat who is just walking by one of them.
Five ingredients come from rocks.
This got my attention. However, it only got worse when I discovered that the ingredients come from phosphate mines in Idaho, gypsum mines in Oklahoma, and oil fields in China. Okay, so now I was wondering if I was watching a real news story—come to find out, I was.
The Twinkie, which was created during the Depression, contains thirty-nine ingredients. One of those ingredients is a preservative, sorbic acid. Sorbic acid is an ingredient I see on many packages, and I have never thought twice about it. But author Steve Ettlinger did. He found that sorbic acid is actually derived from natural gas.
If that isn’t shocking enough, he goes on to talk about other ingredients like cellulose gum, Polysorbate 60, and calcium sulfate. Apparently, these ingredients are also used in sheet rock, shampoo, and rocket fuel. No wonder Twinkies make kids run around like crazy and have even been used as a defense for murder!
Mr Ettlinger also found that the vitamins, artificial colors, and flavorings in Twinkies come from petroleum.
I started to wonder how this tasty treat made from gas and rocks can be so light and airy. In comes Mr. Ettlinger again. Apparently, it’s limestone that makes Twinkies light. And that tasty cream center—it’s got to be milk, right? No. It’s made of shortening; there is absolutely no cream in the cream.
Deconstructing the Twinkie is like trying to deconstruct the universe. We think the millions of people … would agree that Twinkies just taste great.—David Leavitt, Vice President Snack Marketing at Hostess.
Yum! What a loss.
I do however support the right of everyone to stick anything they want inside their own hopeless bodies. This is in Spite of the annoying and self-righteous Food Police who really need to show up when they are 50 to show us just how great they look Now. However, Twinkies will not be a choice in the near future, That goes for Ho Hos too:
Irving, Texas-based Hostess has 565 distribution centers and 570 bakery outlet stores, as well as the 33 bakeries. Its brands include Wonder, Nature’s Pride, Dolly Madison, Drake’s, Butternut, Home Pride, and Merita,
Hostess blames a strike by bakers and says it does not have the financial resources to withstand a nationwide strike. Their union says the closing is the result of years of financial mismanagement. I’ll bet they’re both right.
18,400 people will lose their jobs.
Imagine the Run on Twinkies that’s going on at Walmart right now.
Imagine the run on the Unemployment office that will follow soon enough.
I went to the Hostesscakes.com site for a list of their soon-to-be-gone products in anticipation of a junk food funeral — and got this message.
Minutes later, the same site redirected to Hostessbrands.com, where I found a CLOSED statement. I think it’s pretty safe to say Hostess isn’t kidding. But you Twinkie addicts can at least hope that “”Selling Assets To The Highest Bidder” also means they will sell their Twinkie recipe to somebody. Who Knows? Little Debbie may come to the rescue since their cakes are practically bombproof too.
Or maybe the Chinese will buy the recipes, toss in some melamine and lead, and export it to the USA.
Or…..you can always sign the White House Petition to Nationalize the Twinkie Industry.
We the undersigned, hereby request Barack Obama to immediately Nationalize the Twinkie industry and prevent our nation from losing her sweet creamy center.
Filed under: Uncategorized |