Freedom Fairy sent this to me not a moment too soon.
For those of you who remember the Lone Ranger, twas the ranger who had all the bluster and bravado (and took all the credit)—and twas Tonto who had all the wisdom. In spite of the show’s audacious stereotyping of Native Americans, even they couldn’t hide the wisdom.
If wisdom vs. bravado weren’t enough to confirm the analysis, The Ranger needed to ride atop a shining white stallion and wear a blingy macho gun belt with six shooters on both hips, while all Tonto ever needed to survive just as well was a peaceful painted horse and knife in a sheath at his side.
In retrospect, the attempt to minimize the Indian to maximize the White Guy was an abject failure. If you don’t believe me, then ask yourself if you would rather spend the day learning something from Kemo Sabe, or would you rather spend the day learning something from Tonto?
It is in that spirit that I bring you a conversation between Tonto and the Lone Ranger.
The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert.
After they got their Tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep.
Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says,
‘Kemo Sabe, look Towards sky, what you see? ‘
‘The Lone Ranger replies, ‘I see millions of stars.’
What that tell you?’ asked Tonto.
The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says,
‘Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions
of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.
Time wise, it appears to be approximately a
quarter past three in the morning.Theologically,
the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
What’s it tell you, Tonto?’
“Kemo Sabe, You dumber than buffalo shit… It means someone stole the tent.”
Now tell me our government couldn’t use a lot fewer Lone Rangers and a lot more Tontos.
Somebody please go after the people who stole the tent instead of the people who are left looking at the stars.
Suspects’ Description: Some of the biggest tent thieves were the stewards of the stolen tent while they were stealing the tent…..and they keep pretending they are Lone Rangers.