Who stole the tent?

Freedom Fairy sent this to me not a moment too soon.

For those of you who remember the Lone Ranger, twas the ranger who had all the bluster and bravado (and took all the credit)—and twas Tonto who had all the wisdom. In spite of the show’s audacious stereotyping of Native Americans, even they couldn’t hide the wisdom.

If wisdom vs. bravado weren’t enough to confirm the analysis, The Ranger needed to ride atop a shining white stallion and wear a blingy macho gun belt with six shooters on both hips, while all  Tonto ever needed to survive just as well was a peaceful painted horse and knife in a sheath at his side.

In retrospect, the attempt to minimize the Indian to maximize the White Guy was an abject failure. If  you don’t believe me, then ask yourself if you would rather spend the day learning something from Kemo Sabe, or would you rather spend the day learning something from Tonto?

It is in that spirit that I bring you a conversation between Tonto and the Lone Ranger.

The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert.
After they got their Tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep.
Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says,
‘Kemo Sabe, look Towards sky, what you see? ‘

‘The Lone Ranger replies, ‘I see millions of stars.’
What that tell you?’ asked Tonto.
The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says,
‘Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions
of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.
Time wise, it appears to be approximately a
quarter past three in the morning.Theologically,
the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
What’s it tell you, Tonto?’

“Kemo Sabe, You dumber than buffalo shit… It means someone stole the tent.”

Now tell me our government couldn’t use a lot fewer Lone Rangers and a lot more Tontos.

Somebody please go after the people who stole the tent instead of the people who are left looking at the stars.

Suspects’  Description: Some of the biggest tent thieves were the stewards of  the stolen tent while they were stealing the tent…..and they keep pretending they are Lone Rangers.



47 Responses

  1. I like that one.

    My brother and father called each other tonto/kemo sabe, poncho/cisco, alligator/crocodile, Frank Sinatra/Dean Martin, hopalong or zorro, etc. Those were the days.

  2. Ugg! Heep smart injun – go the way of the paleface squaw – trusted lackey.

  3. Haha! Good one Upps! Hope you’re on the mend.

  4. Scott Brown to join Fox news. As if he wasn’t already in a working partnership with them already. Fair and Balanced All Republican News Channel 24/7. They didn’t have enough punishment with P****?

  5. Ooops, still cranky, lol.

    I thought for sure Scotty would run for senate in Horseface’s slot. I was looking forward to taking an airbrush to his centerfold to show what he looks like today.

  6. Senators who voted against the bill included Republicans John Barrasso (Wyo.), Roy Blunt (Mo.), John Boozman (Ark.), Tom Coburn (Okla.), John Cornyn (Texas), Ted Cruz (Texas), Mike Enzi (Wyo.), Lindsey Graham (S.C.), Chuck Grassley (Iowa), Orrin Hatch (Utah), James Inhofe (Okla.), Mike Johanns (Neb.), Ron Johnson (Wisc.), Mike Lee (Utah), Mitch McConnell (Ky.), Rand Paul (Ky.), Jim Risch (Idaho), Pat Roberts (Kansas), Marco Rubio (Fla.), Jeff Sessions (Ala.), John Thune (S.D.) and Tim Scott (S.C.).

    You kind of expect that shit from batshit crazy Paul Rand or that dumbo Ron Johnson. But the rest of these guys apparently like knowing they can kick shit out of their mistresses and make sure they have nowhere to turn so they can take more.

  7. Evil assholes.

  8. Palin got her money out of FOX and event-speaking and other paid media and political gigs. She made hay while the sun shone and used capitalism well and she had to at least be smart enough to know it wouldn’t last forever. The star is faded, so her value was reduced, especially in light of how they got burned in the presidential election. She hasn’t run for anything since 2008, and is now perceived as a media figure/political commentator rather than a politician. The Republicans treat her like she isn’t there, the kiss of death, but they probably would have done that to her anyways, so she got some shots in. In any event, the buzz phrases have been used and used, the snipes have been overused and it’s how it goes unless you get your own show like, say, that pig Maher. It’s a path she chose: to be a pundit rather than serve and it worked out well for her financially, and she made pretty much all she is going to make off of it. I guess she could get herself a talk radio show and give Rush a run for his money, basically the same base, and they can compete over who insults feminists more. Would be fun to hear about. I love when they eat their own.

  9. Upps, I don’t even want to know what the link says. Screw that crap. We were robbed and we took names and we won’t forget. We were not low information voters, we saw it all and we will not forgive many people for their part in the crime against humanity.

    Elections are part of our freedom, part of our heritage and rights and the heart a fair country. They took away our votes and they did it with evil delight and malice and collusion. And they did it with sexism and with lies and propaganda.

    When they did it to Gore it was horrible, but that was the evil Rs doing it. When the Dems did it – well, that sting will never go away. My party was guilty as hell. May 31 we screamed and cried as the RBC HIJACKED our votes, all of our votes were tied up in that decision. It was make or break and they broke all the rules.

    Karma should pay that bastard a visit and he should know the collective pain of all the democrats he disgusted with his filthy muck.

    PUMA – we were mocked that there were only a dozen of us. We didn’t count. Brazile didn’t need us, Dean didn’t see any sexist attacks. Yeah, we remember it all.

    We could have had 8 years of Hillary. We wuz robbed.

  10. Damn right, Karen. Wouldn’t spit on the kossacks and movey onys if they were all on fire. You WANT to read what lambert wrote though. It’s all true. Read his link

  11. Oh and if they want to know what happend let them read Anita’s book. Our story is in its pages but it doesn’t capture the depth of our loss, for that you’d have to have walked a mile in our shoes campaigning for her and watching it happen daily in shock and horror. Bastards.

    Everybody should Tweet the cheetoland overlord a link to Anita’s book.

  12. Upps, I remember it all, sadly and it is right under my skin still. I am so amazed at how Hillary moved up and beyond it and as always bloomed where she was planted. She turned the other cheek. Amazing woman.

    I can’t stand Pelosi and Brazile and MoDo and Tweety all praising her now. It is salt in a long festering wound. I despise those people for their roles – front and center roles – in the most disgusting crime.

    She was always THE ONE, they just have to pretend she suddenly grew into this amazing woman under HIS wing or some bullshit.

    She ran circles around him and he stole her homework. We saw it all.

  13. Everything karen said. Carry on.

  14. I read the link. Very interesting.

  15. NES, you’re so funny! 🙂

  16. Everything karen said. Carry on.

    Me too. Pass the pie.

  17. Dear Kos, and all the other suddenly amnesiatic misogynists…

    We will never (fucking!) forget. We will never (fucking!) forgive.

    PUMA 2008

  18. Priceless.

    Sophie tells Mooosuleeeto to read Dirty Words On Clean Skin:

  19. Damn Rev Vet, if I weren’t taken I’d be chasing your ass all over the place.

  20. Bwahahahaha! Busted, Markos!

  21. Drive by “Hillary Clinton is definitely running” news:

    (Check out the “connection” to Hillary and the daughter of the Greek)

    Hillary WILL run in 2016, claims wealthy Greek donor (who says Bill told him)

    Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2278272/Hillary-WILL-run-2016-claims-wealthy-Greek-donor-says-Bill-told-him.html#ixzz2KqEPIgjY

  22. Markos?

    Those puckered lips – those great big sucking sounds – all those snorts over finding the biggest piece of fly shit in the pepper shaker – just ain’t what they used to be.


  23. It gets more disgusting every day. Podesta hired by Iraq government as lobbyist.

  24. P.S. Happy Valentines Day, MarKOS – K.I.S.S. M.Y. A.S.S.

  25. Sophie went after Mooosalitossssssss. Respect!

  26. Bloomie has a new ban! This time he’s going after plastic-foam food packaging (the stuff many of us erroneously call Styrofoam).

    I woulda gotten rid of that before the soda. At least soda only affects the person drinking it.

  27. Ever seen that stuff burn? Talk about toxic fumes.

    I do find it ironic that a mayor who illegally and regularly landed his copter on the rooftop of his residential neighborhood, forcing everyone around him to inhale his fumes is going after somebody’s plastic cup.

  28. You have to read this story to believe it – and you still won’t believe it – especially the part about a teacher being in the room when the girl was being assaulted.

    Police rule gang sex assault case ‘consensual’ because victim with 50 IQ was attacked by mentally challenged students in Elmont classroom

    Nassau County police abruptly dropped the case against three ninth-grade boys at Martin De Porres Academy because of the attackers’ — and victim’s — deficiencies, saying it is ‘not something for us to get into,’ the News has learned.

    Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/shrt-article-1.1262564#ixzz2KqOOsAQb

  29. Little bastards. Perhaps they should be castrated if they know not what they do, then. Then, they won’t be “challenged”.

  30. Somebody please go after the people who stole the tent instead of the people who are left looking at the stars.

    We had an election recently. The majority voted to keep the the tent thieves in office. The majority failed to notice the tent was missing. Twice.

  31. The people who stole the tent did it over a period of many years, voted repeatedly to remove pieces of the tent from the security of the tent into the tents of their sponsors. Now they want to punish the people left without the tent they stole—for not having a tent.

  32. They may have stole our tent, but then they lost it so we had to buy them a new one and we’re told we can’t afford to get a tent for ourselves and we should just get used to a new reality and we were greedy and selfish for having a tent in the first place.

  33. And we are still paying for the tents. Arghhhh.

    What a bunch of trolls.

  34. imust, does that mean we should get used to not having a tent?

  35. Yeah. You didn’t really need a tent anyway cuz you’re making your grandchildren pay for it and the gen x or y or whatever alphabet generation is never gonna see THEIR tent anyway!

  36. Um, when will those children and grandchildren start paying for the tent? I have friends with ‘kids’ pushing 40 and they are still supporting them, up to and including their own stupid decisions that nobody can warn them about, because, Mom, you are so stupid! I’m an adult and I will do what I want! Except if it turns out to be really stupid, in which case I will give you a call and you can bail me out. Again. 30. It’s the new 18. So, assuming by the time they are 50 they will start paying? Some of them have moved back home two and three times.

  37. And why don’t you people retire so these kids can jump right into your job? And do it without social security, you thieves. Especially now that your kids have spent all your savings with their stupid decisions in between waiting for some CEO to tap them to be Lord of the Company now that they have a degree in something unmarketable.

  38. LOL! Lord of the Company! Hey, I hear there’s an opening for Pope!

  39. Barack’s next job, Pope. How many times have we said there was nowhere else to go but Pope? He will run unopposed after knee-capping all those old cardinals!! He’s probably got some little boy story on each of them anyways.

  40. I do have to laugh. I read where the vatican found Obama arrogant. Nobody does arrogant like the vatican so they would know.

    I honestly hope they get a decent pope this time who doesn’t think women are chattel. Seriously. He was teh worst pick. I knew it when they were picking. I thought ANYBODY but him. All that John Paul good will, squandered.

  41. And we are still paying for the tents. Arghhhh

    lol taxing the tent they took.

  42. Shhhhhhhhhhh. Close your eyes.
    Pretend the tent is still there.
    Then wait for rain.

  43. Good to see you Upps Hope this means you’re on the mend. 🙂

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