One Million Moms needs some serious group therapy.

You know One Million Moms, right? That’s the creepy group of busy-bodies on Twitter with about 2000 followers. I guess, by their calculations, that equals 1 million.

These are the same meddling crazies who went ape shit when JCPenney hired Ellen as their spokesperson — and tried to conjure up a boycott  of JCPenney because….gasp!!….Lesbian!

That boycott attempt resulted in increased sales for JCPenney.

…….. Then the inimitable Ellen responded, resulting in even further increased sales and confirmation that One Million Moms’ is comprised of  petty little hateful minds, of which there certainly are not even One Million.

Shortly after that, this creepy-crawly organization’s Facebook page disappeared. That’s a big Boo Effing Hoo.

You would think that with 2,236 followers on Twitter as opposed to Ellen’s 17,127,772 followers, “One Million” Moms would get the drift that nobody is much all interested in their hateful bullshit plucked from their hyper-dirty minds.  But such is the silliness of the Religious Right.

In fact, it seems that  the vast majority of times One Million Moms calls for a boycott, the company they are after does better than they did before these busy-bodies noticed them. Truly, these companies should send them a check for increasing their business. In other words, One Million Meddlers have about as much pull as a rubber band. But that doesn’t stop them from providing entertainment, because it seems that One Million Moms has found a new horrible, dangerous Problem.

The Geico Pig. Yes, that’s right. The Geico Pig.

They say this commercial promotes bestiality.

Now I know that all of you instantly think about wanting to make it with a barn animal every time you see that ad, right? Okay, maybe not you. Maybe just One Million Moms. You have got to figure it takes an especially depraved, perverted and filthy mind to crave bestiality after watching that commercial, hey? Well, One Million Moms  doesn’t let us down when it comes to filling that gap:

One Million Moms has received numerous complaints because Geico’s new commercial plays with the idea of bestiality. Parents find this type of advertising repulsive and unnecessary. Airing a commercial with an animal in it will surely grab children’s attention, but this is a horrible commercial for families to see.

Wow. Numerous complaints! From each other I am sure. All ten of you. If you think your kids are lusting for a date with a barn animal after seeing that commercial, then I just know they are in trouble emotionally in about One Million other ways under your leadership.

Perhaps somebody should ‘splain to these crackpots that Maxwell is a….um……character who isn’t real. Even their pre-basket-case sheltered children know that.  Ah………nevermind. You can’t fix stupid. And you certainly can’t fix Insane. Although some of us have dated some two-legged pigs who certainly were not an improvement over Maxwell……Perhaps some of these One Million Moms married them and have been living in a state of paranoia ever since. Still, it’s kind of fun to watch them pull their hair out every now and then. My only concern is we are going to have the pay the medical bills in the future for what they are doing mentally to their kids.

If you aren’t convinced that these people are batshit-crazy, then consider why they keep  drumming up boycotts that  companies ignore and consumers not only ignore, but get pissed off over, resulting in a trip to spend money at the very place One Million Moms wants to punish. I’ll bet every one of the these obsessed zealots voted for Rick Santorum in the 2012 Primaries too.

But do remember that One Million Meddlers’ work is never done. Just recently, dozens of massive companies, including Alcoa, Ebay, Intel, Morgan Stanley and Apple, have publicly supported …..shiver….. Teh Gay Marriage–joining in on Supreme Court arguments to overturn California’s outrageous Proposition 8. Get busy “One Million” Moms! I’m sure the SCOTUS wants to hear you spew invectives and watch you pull your hair out from the roots.

Every time I read something else about this group, I cannot help but think of the original (not the mediocre remake)  Stephen King movie, Carrie –and then I wonder which one of them would play Piper Laurie’s part best. If Carrie’s Mother were around today, she surely would follow them on Twitter.

For your viewing horror, I bring you a suitable part for one of the One Million Moms:


62 Responses

  1. I got to admit this commercial squicks me out a little, too.
    The young woman is so well-avid and since the right wingers and the lefty dudebros see women as farm animals, anyway, well it’s all a little uncomfortable.
    One Million Moms (as if) and the Family Research Council bother me even more.

  2. The Lego ad in the last post squicks me out a whole lot more than some cartoon pig who line rides and flies in airplanes. But 1 mill’s ten moms would consider looking at girls as mush-brained boy chasers who hang out with legos only if bosys are around an okay model for children.

    I hardly think this “Promotes bestiaity” in children or any other normal person. Keyword: Normal. That is their argument. Any child can see he’s a character. The idea behind this commecials is he expects the viewer hardly notice or at leasst not acknowledge that he’s a pig — and people who do notice it are bigots or something. It’s a take on all of that IMO and that’s what makes it funny. Thus the scene in the plane where the attendant says, “When pigs fly” and Maxwell looks at the coincidentally black guy and says, did she just say that? Geico is notorious for that kind of irony.

    He looks like lots of men act, though. lol. His mind is infantile and fixated on gadgets like lots of guys as well. How about that little etrade baby who talks to “women” on the phone like he gets it every day The Geico pig is harmless and does nothing more than what most people do with their own pets, assigning human qualities to him in their commercials. They are easy commercials for dumb people with low level sense of humor and people who recognize the humor in irony. Best of both worlds! He’s about as harmful to the average mind of a child as their gecko. As soon as we find a talking pig hitting on a woman, we’ll be committed to taking action.

  3. I fell in love with the pig when the skateboarding commercial aired. Delicious humor IMO. I see nothing else. Long live the pig!

  4. …..and today’s search phrase winners that led to this blog are:

    Giant cockroaches forced into vaginia
    Women make sex with animals
    Woman hangs by neck

    And the literacy award goes to

    chyld famas

  5. “His mind is infantile and fixated on gadgets …”
    That would be me….just ordered some fancy new LED landscape lighting.

  6. lol SHV. You self deprecation is very endearing.

  7. SHV, that sounds nice.

    God, these “million” moms are hilarious. Good for a laugh, and as Upps points out, good for business. Feel sorry for their kids though.

  8. No socal, I feel sorry for we who will have to pay for their children’s future mental health issues. I mean, seriously, what parent goes all apeshit over the Geico pig and rants about bestiality in front of their kids.

  9. You don’t see this very often:

    Poor kitteh!

  10. There are several private companies that I refuse to spend my money with for certain reasons. It is simple in my mind, mind your own business and shop elsewhere, don’t try to put company “A” out of business because you don’t like em’.
    UW, thanks for being my 1st follower on Twitter:) I luv you!!!!!

  11. That cat could have gotten hurt. He was socializing and not harming a soul and that’s what he got. He won’t forget. Terrible pet owner who should eat shit for goading that dog to be nasty. I hope the cat got her back while she was sleeping. But good. One day the cat will take that dog’s eye out and then the owner will put the cat to sleep.

    Welcome Hillbilly, hope you get at least another one. lol.

  12. Yes, I thought it was mean. It almost seemed like she set the cat up for it.

  13. Long live the pig! 🙂

  14. She did. She shouldn’t have animals. Her malicious laugh told me all I needed to know.

  15. I wonder who they would hit next? Maybe some random vacuum store who get their products from Sweden? Or IKEA?

  16. Gasp! You mean to say Ellen is Lebanese? And Geico promotes bestiality? Should I care? Sorry.

  17. Wait until they see one of the newer Gecko ads. There is a bridesmaid flirting with the cute and very green little best man.

  18. So why aren’t the Couple of Dozen Moms complaining about Shrek and Beauty and the Beast?

    These women are not a stand alone organization. They are part of the American Family Association which has its roots in Mississippi and seems to be run by a bunch of old men reprobates. Imagine that!

  19. Wonder what they think of the iPotty: AND gp/product/B00B3G8UGQ/

    It’s a do-it-yourself URL. Paste it into your browser and remove the AND so it’s all one seamless address with no spaces. I had to break up the URL to keep the graphic from displaying (too huge with no way to resize).

  20. Hahaha Hugo why is that not hard to believe?

  21. OMG Mt. Laurel! Gecko sex!

  22. Have my MRI/MRA in the morning. No doubt they will find nothing in my head. lol.

  23. “Couple of Dozen Moms” ROFL!!!

  24. Of those “One Million Moms” 2,000 or so twitter followers, it’s a safe bet that at least a few hundred of them are LGBT activists keeping an eye on teh crayzee.

    I grew up watching The Muppet Show. Miss Piggy would often flirt with the human male guest stars. It neither confused me nor made me consider beastiality as an alternate lifestyle choice. I saw it for what it was– a pig puppet (operated by a male puppeteer, no less) engaging in humorous banter with an actor. I don’t recall any Million Moms objecting to any of it, either. Back then, all the religious wingnuts were too busy playing Led Zeppelin records backwards looking for hidden satanic messages.

  25. They didn’t like this Kindle ad but then had a change of heart. Here’s the original call to action:

    Any reference to the Kindle ad has been removed from their site and so has the content from their form mail on this issue.

  26. ROFL on so many levels to your comment, Jen.

  27. Hahaha on that Kindle Ad. Must have surely given a bunch of those busy bodies a fatal stroke!

  28. “If she were a man would she have been “Over” Achieving? Just wondering.”
    Kinda like what Annie Oakley said: “If a man shoots well it’s called marksmanship, for a woman it’s “trick shooting”.

  29. Hi Jen!!

    Great catch with the Miss Piggy character! I loved the muppets and I never thought of dating a pig – which isn1t to say one or two didn’t try to sneak past by accident. lol


  30. UW — brilliant with the Carrie reference!

  31. Hell Anita, it wasn’t creative at all. I just see Piper doing her thing whenever I see some more crap from these people.

  32. No kidding SHV, that post reallly fried my ice. So typical. I’m still waiting for his answer. I won’t hold my breath.

  33. Still, UW, you gotta dig back pretty far into the recesses to come up with Carrie’s mom from 1977!

  34. Uppity. Trust you will let us know what they found in your head. Here’s hoping for a good report.

  35. Yeah Ani, goes to show you the kind of stuff that’s crowded into my recesses! It was 1976 in my recesses.

    Pamela, there’s nothing in my head. lol

    Seriously, this is just a check because of family history, not because of any symptoms. Just precautionary. I would be surprised if anything is in my head. lol. appt is at 10:45.

  36. Stop over to this still4hill thread and see how we identified, exposed and dispatched a Hillary impersonator on Twitter who garnered thousands of followers. It was better than sex. Don’t miss the comment section.

  37. Welp I am back from the MRI/MRA. What I learned:

    1. It was okay if you don’t mind wearing a helmet on your head and one on your neck, with only a visor of vision and then shoved into a casket for 45 minutes with earphones playing classical music you can’t hear because of all the noise and banging.

    2. I am not claustrophobic.


    1. Throat is kind of sore, roof of mouth kind of swelled and has a few bruises or something. Purplish.
    2. I couldn’t wait to get out of there and eat.
    3 I probaby glow in the dark now.
    4. They gave me a disk with all my peeksures on it for my records.

  38. Congrats on getting through that fun filled MRI Mom had to have one (boy was THAT fun) but he scan did provide very good information on her problems and she was able to avoid more invasive procedures.

  39. Maxwell the Pig! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyy! What a funny commercial.

    Where are these people’s sense of humor?????????

  40. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay, UW!

    Are ya magnetized now??? 😉

  41. The Conservative Hillbilly said it well.

    It is simple in my mind, mind your own business and shop elsewhere, don’t try to put company “A” out of business because you don’t like em’.

  42. Yes I am so magnetized,Crier, that, coupled with the vitamin D, I went out the door just now and the sun attached itself to my ass.

  43. ” classical music you can’t hear because of all the noise and banging.”
    A continuous loop of the 1812 might work.

  44. “It was better than sex.”
    Bet it couldn’t be better than a new power tool. :>)

  45. I am working on a really tedious project. So I went searching the net while munching on my luncheon salad.

    What do I find, but synthesized music in honor of the wonders of Vitamin D. This definitely looks like those little vitamins have been magnetized.

  46. SHV, your kinda power tool or mine?

  47. Interestingly enough, SHV, the entire test ended to the finale of an opera and now I can’t remember which for some reason. But it was perfect timing.

  48. No kidding. I am a big proponent of tightening the theft of intellectual property, whether that’s unpopular or not to a generation of people who think nothing of cheating and stealing. But what Schwartz did certainly did not fall into that category. He wasn’t removing credits and he DLd information that was already free to the public, for chrissakes. Okay so he DLd a lot of it. Big freaking deal. For this, he was skewered to the point of suicide. Seriously, somebody should indict that DA and the Jusitce Department for this bullshit. They were looking for an example while horrific theives still sit in their windowed offices on Wall Street.

  49. “SHV, your kinda power tool or mine?”
    I’ve upgraded my DEWALT stuff to 20-volt Max Li-Ion…need to check if Jack Rabbit now 20-volt Li-Ion.

  50. Well I guess power tools would be a helpful passtime for a retired surgeon.

  51. Okay so he DLd a lot of it.

    That was the thing! He was doing an act of civil disobedience–he wasn’t consuming or selling the material, just making a point. The Government also decided to make a point and make an example out of him. They outgunned him.

    One thing that pisses me off about this “intellectual property” is that quite a bit of it was generated at taxpayer expense through grants. Another thing that pisses me off is that the publishers have a lock on this “intellectual property” and any revenues from it. The actual authors get nothing.

    Same shit that bothers me about the current digital rights laws–they protect the publishers and do nothing for the artists.

    No, I don’t believe in stealing content–I just think the laws we have are draconian and protect the wrong people.

  52. Wow! My library sends out e-mail newsletters periodically. Each one includes a quick link. Here was today’s:

  53. Completely agree, Sophie. If it were material he was supposed to pay for, I would be the first to say throw the book at the thief. I cannot see the incentive to becoming a great novelist or songwriter or anything, if when I have completed all my work, someone can get it off google for free. That’s different. This is just bullshit. A man killed himself because our government is bullshit.

  54. This Vitamin D is so good I have to stay in at night so I don’t bring up the sun and confuse everyone.

  55. Why the heck aren’t you tweeting these? #VitaminD

  56. Because nobody could possibly be interested except us convoluted Uppityites.

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