“America’s Iron Lady” Fiorina Solicits Uppity Woman’s Wallet

Yes, that’s right, folks. I, Uppity Woman, registered Democrat, got an invitation to send money to Carly Fiorina. No wonder HP nearly went under with her at the helm.

Carly is so obsessed with Hillary’s popularity compared to her own, that she mentioned Hillary perpetually in her 4-page rant. Hillary is such a threat that she even mentioned her on the mailing envelope! No kidding. I am not making this shit up. Here’s the back of her mailing envelope:


She doesn’t forget to mention that Hillary “Has no accomplishments”. Whereas, Carly has accomplished much — such as nearly tanking Hewlett Packard before they fired her and losing badly to Barbara Boxer.

She also declared herself America’s Iron Lady. No kidding. Because a blogger said she just might be an American Iron Lady. Well that’s enough for Carly and So It Shall Be!  As a result, I am disappointed to report that Margaret Thatcher got mentioned in her lengthy essay even more times than Hillary! But hey, Hillary made it to the mailing envelope! You can’t beat that, Maggie!

Okay I lied. Why should I be different, right? Maggie made it to the front of the envelope, because Carly is channeling her dead self even as we speak:


Carly talks about how America is basically going to hell without her in charge and she’s going to fix it by addressing the important things that need to be done. Like de-funding Planned Parenthood and other nasty things that endanger our economy or National Security–or jobs that will fall out of the sky once she’s Pressy–,  such as getting rid of all those old people by slashing the ‘budget’ because we’re “Out of other people’s money,” or how that nasty health care we are making available to all those lowlifes people like Carly have exploited must come to an end. I mean if these people were worth anything they’d  have health insurance fully paid for by taxpayers the legitimate way: By being elected to Congress. Because health care is not a right like death is. It is therefore absolutely paramount that, when we force raped women and girls with leering uncles to have babies, the Born will have the Right to die as horrible a death as possible without health insurance.

carly fiorina 1Carly also brags that if the election were held today, she maintains a ‘small lead’ over That Woman Who Shall Not Be Named But She Names Her Anyways. Too bad she cites a September poll. The Liar who calls Hillary a Liar is Lying. Again. She’s practically got the key to the White House right now, she that good at……simply everything!. Unlike That Other Woman and all those silly boys. In fact, according to the most recent Republican National Primary Poll, Iron Lady is running  with 3% of her own party’s confidence votes, tied with Lardass Christie and Jesus Huckabee  — and ahead of  Cardinal Santorum, Al D’Amato’s concubine George Pataki and the now conspicuously absent twit, Bobby Jindal. Even that moron Jeb?! is beating her. But no nevermind. Nothing to see here. Send Carly some money so she can complete her move into the White House as soon as Haley’s Comet rolls around.

So I ask you: Who in his or her right mind would send this loser money so she can suspend her candidacy at will and ride off into the sunset with her bucket of unspent campaign money? Just asking!

When America learns more about Fiorina’s business record and “mean” spirit, she will no longer be riding high in the polls. -Barbara Boxer

Welp, Boxer got that one right.

Carly also treated me to a photo of her snarly self trying to smile, which resulted in her characteristic grimace:


So tell me, what should I do with Carly’s invitation to send this loser some money before she drops out of the race? After all, I was invited to return her self-addressed envelope…..

…….And somebody please tell me WTF was this solicitous piece of trash doing in my mailbox?



85 Responses

  1. That’s hysterical Upps!

    And so is this:

  2. ROTFLMAO. Your post is hysterical! I couldn’t decide between Donald says I can’t donate to you, I work for HP or writing Hillary all over it and sending it back to her.

  3. That’s ok, GA! You can vote several times, just like the Bernouts do online!

  4. Carly also treated me to a photo of her snarly self trying to smile, which resulted in her characteristic grimace:

    LOL! So true! It’s like it’s painful for her to smile. Much like it is painful for me to see her try to smile!

  5. OMG Fredster, Vitter. ROFLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL. He’ll be sobbing tomorrow.

  6. Very funny! It just highlights the immense unprincipled arrogance of Fiorina; and she’s not the only Republican like that. But she remains just about the most unpleasant candidate I have ever seen run in a major race in California.

  7. Upps, I think that may be Jason Berry, the guy who “exposed” Vitter’s connection to the nola hookers and which Vitter denied. Vitter’s latest ads are trying to tie John Bel to Obama and Syrian refugees. It isn’t working.

    And the funny thing is, Vitter is raising hell about the Syrian refugees, but his wife Wendy Vitter is general counsel to the Archdiocese of New Orleans which manages Catholic Charities in the state and is the organization helping to settle the 14 refugees in La.

    I guess Vitter and his wife don’t talk much. 🙄

  8. Yeah I read about that, Fredster. It wasn’t enough that he whored around on her, he’s screwing his wife again with her job, the flaming asshole. This is a guy who would throw his own mother in the river to save his sorry useless ass. I hope he goes down in flames.

  9. Vitter? Is that the diaper guy?

  10. A real letter from Carly and not an email? It’s not every day that the mail carrier delivers opposition research material directly to your door! 🙂

  11. Yup, imust, the one and only Poopy Pants, David Vitter.

    Yup, Jen, it was right there in our mailbox. At first I thought maybe the latest mail carrier left it at the wrong address, since these days the Post Office switches carriers every few weeks or so. That way, in addition to having a carrier who can barely speak English at all, he has the added advantage of not knowing the route. In any event, it had my name on the envelope and, of course, I did indeed rip that sucker open for the fun of it. It was just too tempting to bear. I do wish I had a scanner because this yahoo wrote four full pages of rant, all of it in letter sized font, hardly any white space left on the page save for margins.

  12. Upps, hilarious post. The socal family all enjoyed it. The funny thing is, I was just trying to imitate her cringeworthy smile for the dudes before I came here. Unbelievable that they are actually mailing their claptrap to Democrats. No doubt her campaign is as badly run as the poor companies she ruled over.

  13. Vitter lost in LA and Obama just gave a speech in Malaysia trying to sound “tough”.

    And I got to meet my great-nephew today. Soooooooooooooo cute!

  14. I hope everyone in Uppityville has a wonderful week.

  15. Beata, imagine my horror to learn she was not related to David.

    Just kidding–have a great week yourself!

  16. I watched the Vitter race with great interest. It had great significance. And when I watched his concession speech I couldn’t help but focus on his 18 year old daughter who was totally inconsolable with an I Could Kill You look on her snotty face through the near tears. I mean her facebook crap about her old man, complete with photos of killing wildlife with daddy, told me a lot about a young woman who is scuttling off to Georgetown U, not LSU. A kid who poked her finger under your nose and asked, “Have you ever made a mistake?”. Yes Lise, I have. Just not 3 times a week in a diaper with a hooker until I got caught and then called it a mistake. A kid who has lived with privilege, favors, perks and special treatment literally all of her cognizant life………realizing that now she’s about to become just like everybody else sans all those perks, and barely able to resolve it in her mind. I discerned that this was the major reason she was holding back tears.

    I simply cannot stand fake “family values” politicians. Vitter getting roundly bashed was exactly what the Republican Party needs to see. Hopefully they will see more of it. But a Democrat taking the governor of LA’s slot is EXTREMELY significant and more than suggests that the non elite of that well-known politically corrupt state (at one time they superceded Chicago in corruption, maybe they still do) are totally pissed off. Enough to go out and vote in large blocks.

    High Five, Fredster!

    The worst part of this for everybody else is, Vitter will show up as a lobbyist for some industry that is fucking America royally. Just like all the congressional losers do.

  17. Well said, Upps!

  18. I picked the winner option: “Write ‘HILLARY’ in red block letters all over it.”

  19. Carly’s not really running for the top of the ticket; she’s gunning for the no. 2 spot. I doubt she’d land that spot. Among other things, she’s from CA and doesn’t have any chance of putting that in GOP column.

  20. Upps, what does you Third Eye tell you about the likely GOP nominee. With Jeb out, it looks like Rubio has the best shot. What do you think?

  21. The other thing, NES, is the GOP boys in the band would never give up that coveted slot to a cootie woman. They’re just using her to attack Hillary personally so they don’t get any of their own shit on their cowardly bodies.

  22. I love cootie woman.

  23. They’re using her to attack Hillary because they’re afraid they cannot do it in a non-sexist manner. And she’s just the kind of skank to cheerfully take on that role.

  24. Carly is our “Iron Lady”?


    The USA already has an “Iron Lady”, Carly.

    And if you somehow get the Reptilian Party nomination, she will kick your company-wrecking goat-smelling @$$ so hard, your spine will go up over the top of your vacant skull and you’ll win prizes at Star Trek conventions for your Klingon “makeup”. 😈

  25. I know who I want on the other side of the table from that magnificent bastard Putin, and it isn’t Carly, and it sure as HELL isn’t that posturing blowhard inheritance-baby Donald Trump.

    Trump just pretends to be a tough SOB; Putin IS one. Vlad looks at the Donald and thinks: “I’ve broken better men than you.”

  26. Good article, Sophie, except for the part where she says Hillary “can be bad on race.” Huh? Her favorable # among African Americans is 85% If she’s “bad” on race, I wonder what her #’s would be if she was good on race.

    I do like the part where she points out how some of these lefty males were cheering for Joe Biden during his Hamlet routine when by any measure, she is to the LEFT of Biden. And, yes, Biden did vote for the AUMF in Iraq, although he has taken almost no grief for it from the left, even though as chairman of Senate Foreign Affairs Committee at the time, his responsibility for the vote is surely greater than Hillary’s.

    Thanks for the link. Lots to unpack here.

  27. I agree–I think she overdid the race part (twice). Perhaps as overcompensation for her 2008 vote?


  29. Mario Cuomo was dubbed “Hamlet on the Hudson” when he couldn’t make up his mind about running for the White House in 1992.

    Roz in NJ/NYC

  30. That’s right, wizard. Always loved that moniker for Cuomo. Whoever coined it is brilliant.

  31. OMG!!! Ralph Nader pens a letter to Janet Yellen, first female head of the Fed you know. He mansplains to her why she should raise interest rates…..and then…..wait for it……tells her to sit down with her husband so he can mansplain it to her!

  32. Oh no, not seedy Ralph Nader again. I thought for a second he had reincarnated into Bernie Sanders’ body.

  33. I loved Mario. There will never be another Mario. That’s too bad because we need about ten more of him.

  34. Yeah I didn’t get the race thing in that article either. I think it had to do with that setup they perped upon Hillary in 2008 because she was ahead. The author bought it.

    I liked the article though. I think it must have taken a lot of emotional energy to write it.

  35. As the author says, it gives you a taste of the “gender hell” Hillary must live in every day when you start defending her to some lefty men.

  36. Ralph Nader? Who’s he? LOL! 😉

  37. Turkey shot a Russian fighter jet out of the air?
    This is some serious shit.
    I’ll bet Wolf Blitzer is creaming his jeans.*
    *Sorry for the imagery.

  38. Boy oh boy, Vlad is sure going to be pissed off. I almost feel sorry for Turkey because he’s a major thug who subscribes to the Mafia rule…….you hit one of mine, I’ll hit ten of yours. And he’s not going to give a shit whether they are men, women or children.

    Unfortunately for the middle east thugs, he’s exactly what they deserve. He hasn’t got a PC bone in his body and he’s not adverse to turning entire cities into parking lots. Good luck with that, Turkey.

  39. Ralph, being Mr. Green himself, probably approves of the little death trap cars that are on the drawing board, so long as they don’t use gasoline who gives a shit who dies, right Ralphie?

    Hey that reminds me! Dead on the Pavement In Your Puma! You could use the laugh…


    Well would you look at the Piece of Crap GM hopes to put on the road? A death trap named PUMA, of all things.

    How come Ralph Nader doesn’t spend more time doing what he was actually good at instead of running for President? There was a time when Ole Ralph would have had a stroke if he saw something like this rolling off an assembly line. This baby makes the Pinto look like an armoured tank and the Corvair look front-heavy.

  40. If Ralph Nader actually gave a rat’s ass about anything other than his own ego, he would be using the REAL skill he acquired back when he was worth spit………and go after Monsanto and the GMO industry.

  41. The national security issues just keep getting more dangerous and complicated. Al Quaida, ISIS, Iran and Hezbollah, Assad in Syria. Yes, Putin all by himself needs a full time minder. So, Democrats who are even toying with the notion of nominating Sanders or O’Malley need to think again. And yet again. Just because we all want to be left alone doesn’t mean we will be.

  42. Classic Uppity on the GM PUMA post!

  43. Yeah imust, those were the days when I was on a roll.

  44. What’s the update on your peepers, Uppity?

  45. Improving by degrees, Sue. My near ability is definitely getting there. Apparently it takes a bit of time for the brain to adjust to new eyeballs. I’m much happier now. Thanks for asking!!!

  46. Trust me, everyone. You will enjoy this!


  47. Drinking my Peet’s coffee right now, thanks to NES’ recommendation some time ago.

  48. I will confess an admiration for Putin, in a “Rommel, you magnificent bastard” sort of way. At least he looks out for his country, rather than kissing the nasty butts of Global Capital like “our” Prez does.


  49. I like Hillary, but for her own good, she might want to consider dumping some of her foreign policy advisers.


  50. LOL at the Belgian twitter cats!

    Vox had a good post up yesterday about the situation with Isis, how they started, etc, how Turkey & Russia fit in, etc. It was a fairly fast read anyway, and I understand that situation better now.

  51. That cannon guy is not a Hillary fan is he? I seem to remember him going after her back in ’08?

  52. I don’t know how he felt about Hill, but he’s right that the Kagan clan are neocon scum, and I think Hillary needs foreign-policy advice from any neocon like she needs diction lessons from Elmer Fudd.

  53. The Cannon guy was sort of conspiracy minded as I recall. Uppity, you really rolled back then…..sometimes several posts a day!

  54. I looked it up. He’s no “advisor” to HRC. I think he’d like to be one. So suggesting she’s getting “foreign policy advice” from him or his clan is more than a stretch.

  55. Imust: I hope you’re correct. The neocons are the geniuses who gave us the Iraq debacle, and therefore ISIS. Hillary is the smartest candidate out there, so I hope she only listens civilly and then ignores them–but even smart people take bad advice sometimes.

  56. Indeed the neocons brought us the Iraq mess, but they are not geniuses. Hence the mess. Hillary however, is pretty smart. I can’t imagine her being “conned” by the cons. She’s the one who cleaned up the neocon mess, or at least tried to…..she also coined the term, “Smart Power.” I think she wants to use diplomacy, but from a position of strength.

  57. Oh puleeze, don’t get me started on that POS cannon. I had a major pissing contest with him long enough ago, after he had the nerve to refer to me as a “Republican Ratfucker”. Shows you how far HIS head is up his ass. So let it go at that. Because I’m being kind compared to what I really want to say. I didn’t even know anybody bothered with him any longer, didn’t even know his blog was still there. What the hell are you doing slumming it? Whatever you read, take it with a grain of Kickstarter salt (I don’t expect you to get that, but there’s a sleazy story there, with screen shots), but anyways, whatever he said this time, what can you expect from a guy who still won’t admit that Anthony Weiner wasn’t set up because he “proved” he was.

    You know me, gang. When was the last time you saw me slam a blogger on this blog out of the sky? THAT’s how little I think of him. He’s always disgruntled about someone or something. Must suck to be him.

    And don’t ever link to that crank again on this blog and I’m not kidding. If you choose to hang out there and take anything he says as worth spit to you, dandy. But don’t bring any of his mud with you back here.

    I’m more than reasonably certain that Hillary doesn’t need advice from you, me or him.

  58. I’m not surprised you admire Putin, IBW. I have felt all along you are not on the same planet as everyone else.

  59. Yeah imust, I was definitely a prolific blogger back then. Typed muh fingerprints off!

  60. I looked it up. He’s no “advisor” to HRC. I think he’d like to be one. So suggesting she’s getting “foreign policy advice” from him or his clan is more than a stretch.

    Just one more of those bullshitter stories..

  61. Understood, Uppity. No “artillery” links here.

    Your blog, your rules, fair enough.

    I didn’t know you and he even knew of each other’s blogs, much less that you’d experienced a disagreement.

  62. LOL. I remembered something nasty went on with him way back.

  63. There were so many crazy bloggers around in 2008 that I don’t recall what exactly happened with that particular one. I just remember that I used to read over there, but then I stopped. I won’t name the other blogs I stopped reading, although off the top of my head I can think of three. They either turned against Hillary, pushed too much right wing Tea Party crap, pushed a bunch of bullsht stories about whitey tapes and birth certificates that never amounted to anything, or all of the above. I expect those bloggers are all voting for Donald Trump now, although I’m not interested enough to find out for sure.

  64. Ditto, Jens. Not interested enough to find out or care.

    I don’t really care much who anyone supports, but i expect them to leave me the hell out of their angst about it.

    I filled a fair number of blogs since 2008 with people I banned or drove off because I wasn’t about to let this blog turn into Right Wing Heaven just because the choice was between Terrible and Horrible.

    I will NEVER let ANYONE detour me from my Number One Priority…..and that’s Women’s Rights. No more back burner shit will be tolerated from ANYONE again. That’s been going on for 40 years. Basta!

  65. For the record, Robert Kagan is married to Victoria Nuland, a career Foreign Service officer who was State Dept. Spokesperson for Hillary’s last couple of years. She’s currently an Undersecretary of Something Important (I forget what). In any case, she and Hillary became friendly and had dinner together with their spouses at least once. Kagan has expressed afmiration for Hillary but prefers a Republican president–hopefully a sane one. That, to my knowledge, is the extent of Hillary’s history with Robert Kagan. She certainly is not getting foreign policy advice from him, but it’s entirely possible that Sanders’supporters are stoking that rumor.

  66. Well IBW it’s generally my policy to leave differing blogs alone, although that’s not always everyone else’s policy. However, when somebody calls me a name, especially if it’s a bald faced lie, or starts picking at my blog, they are going to hear from me back. That’s how I roll. I rarely shoot first but I don’t lie down if I am shot at first, unless I’m dead. And if everyone here who reads this blog has learned in the past rolling year, it’s very hard to kill me, figuratively OR literally. Heh.

    That’s what happened in this case. And yes there was a public hashout on another blog (with screen shots, I save things when it comes to people I do not or no longer trust) and, if it was nothing, it was dealing with a passive-aggressive Poor Me schmuck toward whom I didn’t care to bear any mercy since I did nothing to him and definitely didn’t shoot first. At this point, since it’s only 1 of 2 such battles I had to fight since March, 2008, I prefer to do what a wise person once told me. Whenever someone is bent and determined to attack you or otherwise try to affect your joy, treat em like a dead person.

  67. Undersecretary of Something Important

    This is hilarious.

  68. OMG, imust!! (On Nader mansplaining to the fed)
    Un-effing-believable. See how those “progressive men” really are!

  69. Yeah Sophie, but we’ve known that for a while haven’t we? What does Uppity call them, REgressives?

  70. What happened to the stars system?
    Just when I was getting the hang of it…
    Does the canon and alike have something to do with it?
    Glad to know you are doing better Upps.
    Lots of hugs!

  71. Brassy: Thanx for the clarification. I guess some other blogs are overstating the connection. *sigh* Who does one trust these days?

  72. Oh–and is being the “Undersecretary of Something Important” the U. S. equivalent of being the “Minister of Silly Walks”? :mrgreen:

  73. LOL, Ivory Bill! 😅 That’s it exactly!

  74. From Ralph Nader to Matt Lauer……..
    This is a question Matt asked singer Adele recently:
    (file in – some things never change)

    Lauer said, “You told me [your son] Angelo is a key factor in how happy you are right now. You’ve had time to dedicate to him in between your two albums, since he was born. Do you get concerned that now with the explosion of this album you’re going to have to get on that career treadmill and have less time to dedicate to him?”

  75. Yet another Effing pig. Bet he never asked a male singer that question. Glad his hair fell out, he deserves it.

  76. Who does one trust these days?

    Yourself. But only if you’re having an honest moment.

  77. I dunno, Belle. I just gave you five stars.

  78. No, nobody asks male music stars about their kids. No one ever asks the members of U2 how they balance their mega-tours that last for years with the needs of their children. I once read an interview with Bono’s wife where they asked her how she deals with his comings and goings. But they don’t ask him those kinds of questions.

  79. Vice President of things that start with H.

  80. Uppity, will we be treated to your classic, Live Blog from Walmart on Friday?? 🙂

  81. imust! imusttellyouthis!
    My apple crumb pie is cooling on the counter top and my pumpkin pie is almost ready to come out of the oven.


  82. Since I generally only bake 2 pies a year, and those are them, always for this very holiday, I felt I should tell you.

    I also wanted to give you ample time to prepare for Friday, which is National Eat Pie for Breakfast Day. I celebrate every year. As you can likely gather, it’s no trouble at all. One might say it’s as easy as pie.

  83. Sounds great Sophie! I rarely bake anymore. Laker is getting us a blueberry pie from Gelson’s Bakery. They have excellent pies. Not as good as homemade of course.

  84. Oh man, imust, I wish I could do that Walmart thing again. That was a One Time Event. Can’t be topped.

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