The Big Debate With Guest Appearance of The Phantom


Never has this carnival version of Being For The Benefit Of Mr. Kite been more meaningful. “Down The Rabbit Hole!”

Tonight, the two lead candidates will work very hard to increase the Republican base, using Lindsey’s sage advice:
CV4BT8-UwAAHvJYPoor Lindsey. He would be so much happier if he would just admit he’s gay.

Republican presidential candidate Jeb Bush listens to a question from the audience during a town hall meeting campaign stop at the Medallion Opera House in Gorham, New Hampshire July 23, 2015. REUTERS/Brian Snyder TPX IMAGES OF THE DAY - RTX1LKI3


Since the venue is The Venetian, which was specifically designed for the long-running production of The Phantom of The Opera, I think this is the night when Jeb!?? can finally break ahead! How could this boring, lazy, dullard do this, you ask? You are asking, right? Well, take a look at him, if you can possibly bring yourself to do that.  So I am thinking if he were to come on stage dressed as The Phantom, jump up onto the chandelier above him, and yell in his naturally condescending tone, YOUR CHAINS ARE STILL MINE! YOU WILL SING FOR ME!!!! he will finally get the kind of attention he deserves. And he’ll get some actual applause for the first time since he dragged his lazy condescending ass into this Primary.

jebhoodieDo it Jeb!???!!! You can’t look like any bigger a fool than your brother looked as President. Now I recognize that, since Jeb!?? slouches more every single day and would be more suitable to playing Quasimodo with Dick Cheney leading him onto the stage on a leash, the venue IS the Venetian, and Jeb!?? fervently hopes to appear relevant, so tonight he will need to be The Phantom if he wants any attention at all. $25 million dollars spent on this Nothing candidate. I’m speechless.

Ted Cruz blesses the crowd on behalf of his gay-hating father and Jesus.

Ted Cruz blesses the crowd on behalf of his gay-hating father and Jesus.

If Jeb!?? doesn’t come through with my idea, we will be forced to watch the Trump and Cruz show. In that case, we’ll have to play Word Bingo. Every time Trump says “Great” or “Terrific” you get to drink. I’d like to add that you can drink every time Cruz tries to hide his real personality, but in that case you would have to hook your scotch up to an IV line, because that guy is one nasty creature just waiting to gain the power to unleash himself upon America. Unleashed, this man would make Donald look like Mr. Nice Guy. I predict he WILL win Iowa. Why wouldn’t he win a state riddled with crackpot evangelicals who previously awarded wins to Pat Robertson and Mike Huckleberry.

I think Marco Rubio deserves some mention here. You get to drink every time he tells you his old man was a bartender. You get to drink every time he’s asked a question and he brings up that his mother was a maid in the answer.

Here’s Marco doing his Poland Springs commercial-Which is actually an inadvertent Public Service Announcement on the condition of America’s waterways, compliments of  our Big Agra and Corporate America, neither of whom bear watching according to Republicans. So what if the Hudson River comes in two types: Creamy and Chunky? No tap water for Marco! But it’s just fine for you.

Of course we can’t miss Governor Chris Christie. Nobody can miss him. Okay, my bad. People struggle with their weight every single day, but most of them aren’t hypocrites about it or mean to others with the same struggle like Chris Christie is. Here’s a photo of Chris Christie with New Jersey National Guard Brig. Gen. Michael Cunniff, whom Christie has reprimanded and publicly embarrassed for repeatedly dodging mandatory Pentagon physical-fitness tests. This is a sign of a For Thee Not For Me attitude. If a man is a hypocrite and mean in one way, he’s very likely a mean hypocrite, period.

Let’s see now……..who else is running? Huckleberry doesn’t have a prayer in Iowa (Scuse the Pun) because Cruz is secretly even more religiously crazy than he is. Carly is now at least as irrelevant as she almost made HP become. She probably ran out of bald-faced lies. Kas…..Kash….how do you spell it again? Rand Paul is only there to make a spot for his old man’s whacko supporters to hang out, even though there aren’t many of them left — because most of them are hanging out with seedy Bernie Sanders now. And just to confirm what a religious whackjob Cruz is, even Rick Santorum isn’t getting any Iowa Evangelical traction. Unless he or Mike start speaking in tongues, Cruz has got the Iowa fruitcakes sewed up. It’s too bad, really. Who wouldn’t want this wholesome, God-Fearing normal-looking family in the White House?

I probably left somebody out. Who cares.


76 Responses

  1. Crazy Uppity. 900 campuses. smh

  2. Heeeee-larry-ous post Uppity, LOVE IT!!! 🙂

  3. If this continues, the Republicans might be able to win the election based on fear and a desperate wish to return to a feeling of safety. Of course the Republicans cannot do this, but their nomral bellicosity and certitude might be effective with many voters. Rightly or wrongly, Pesident Obama does not inspire much confidence in this regard. It is very strange that these awful events seem to occur right before Republican debates. Very likely no connection, but I do think that the evil forces would prefer having a right-wing Republican elected, as it would galvanize them.

    The nomination of Hillary cannot come soon enough. She has to be able to get out on a daily basis, and speak about how she would handle all of this. Right now, it is the right-wing Republicans vs.the Obama administration, for the most part.

  4. Yeah I was waiting for you to comment on the LA school thing, imust. No offense but either the superintendent there is past his expiration date or he is very sick. In any event, NY responded in a VERY arrogant way and they had best pray their arrogance doesn’t come back to bite them. I was thinking about what I would have done in either of those cases. First I would not have kneejerked without talking to FBI first. Secondly, I would put NYC’s arrogant assholiness in the back room. In both cases I would have followed FBI instructions.

  5. Glad you like the post, imust. But truthfully, the R’s just write their own jokes for me.

  6. I heard on the news that the candidates showed up for their walkthru at the staging area……….except for that lazy bastard Jeb?! Prince Jeb sent his staff to do it for him.

  7. Yes Uppity. I agree, the FBI should have been consulted. They’re being fairly closed lipped now, but I think they felt they had limited time to decide, and then chose to err on the side of caution. They appear to be circling the wagons against the criticism now.

  8. OMG! CNN was talking about the Phantom of the Opera! Actually, they’re hyping it like a prize fight…….IN THIS CORNER, THE HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION…. (no, they weren’t talking about Christie, actually, I made that part up!) But they were really talking like it was a prize fight.

  9. Off the top of my head, you forgot our very forgettable former governor!

    Stellar post!

  10. I’ll be relying on your commentary for this debate. Once again, I cannot imagine giving up NCIS for these idjits.

  11. Watching the pre-game show on Chris Matthews and Kornacki’s focus group–the ONLY thing Republican voters are concerned about–their single issue in selecting a president–is who can beat Hillary Clinton. Not one word about WHY it is important to beat her. Just to beat her. Un. Fucking. Real.

  12. imust re: LA Schools: The thing is, the FBI is available 24/7. The superintendent made plenty of phone calls to make that shutdown happen. His first call could have been the FBI. If he had made that call, those guys would have been on this in minutes. I understand his concern though. Being held responsible for the lives of three quarters of a million kids and a staff to go with them is not a small burden. I think he panicked and that probably isn’t difficult to do under the circumstances. I suspect this incident was a good learning experience and they will have a procedure in place for this kind of thing in the future.

  13. Which governor is that, Sophie? I REALLY forgot him. lol

    I am watching the kiddie table debate and I will say this: Those boys have a real fire in their bellies with respect to getting rid of ISIS. I do wish the Democrats had at least a comparative smolder. “Don’t worry about it” is not a good answer.

    As for any other topic, they republicans are useless.

  14. Yeah Sophie, I noticed that too. It’s the ZOMG we can’t have Hillary crowd!

    Uppity, I agree with you about the Super. I think they all were spooked and overreacted and I think they learned a lot from the experience.

  15. Nobody in a GOP focus group is going to say they want to select a candidate who will lose to Hillary. The problem is what they think will win is way out there.

  16. Haha I forget carson in my post. What with his personality disorder it’s amazing he slipped my mind.

  17. How’s it going? Not giving up Limitless for these fools either. AFAIC, they are all forgettable.

  18. Do you get the feeling the audience is stacked?

  19. Ooops on Cruz. His dictatorial bossy attitude showed up when he spoke uninvited and wouldn’t stop till he embarrassed himself for imagining the rules do not apply to him.

  20. Boy that Cruz’ face gives me the creeps.

  21. It’s been another crazy debate, I’ll say that much Sophie.

  22. So nobody’s watching this?

  23. Whoa! Teddy got snippy again.

    And again. He shuts down the rules for himself and he does it like a goddamn despot.

  24. Watching the Twitter trends and it seems the most important thing coming out of this debate…..

    House of Cards next season starts on 3/4/16.

  25. LOL Carly is so jealous of Hillary, she’s obsessed over it.

  26. I think the way she continues to use her daughter’s death as a reason to vote for her is more than enough reason to dismiss her. Just no class at all.

  27. She wasn’t even Carly’s daughter. Husband’s daughter from previous marriage. Killed herself or ODd at age 35. Actually I think she was addicted to prescription drugs and alcohol.

    Carly is just a serieal liar and exaggerator. She commented that she and Frank wondered if they missed any “signs”. What she doesn’t say is the woman was 35 years old and lived 3000 miles away. What signs were they going to see? His daughter was an alcoholic in college. I imagine having her for a stepmother would drive me to the bottle too. Carly doesn’t exactly strike me as the Mother Type. She probably didn’t want the kid around and now she keeps declaring that it was her daughter. Carly is a real piece of work.

  28. I was at a holiday concert and only caught the last 45 minutes or so of the debate. Same old clown show. None of them seems to realize that Hillary has been a private citizen since early 2013; they keep referring to the “Obama-Clinton administration.” Uh, did Biden resign and did Obama appoint Hillary has his new veep while I wasn’t looking?

  29. The whole Obama-Clinton thing is probably another talking point dreamed up by Frank Luntz. Of course, she wouldn’t have her own stances on anything because she’s a woman. I don’t think they realize how completely stupid they sound.

  30. The driving force within Ted Cruz is revealed:

  31. Ted’s father knows the truth and is proud of his son:

  32. Raw sewage, I mean footage, of Cruz is all over the Internets courtesy of his campaign. Thank you, Ted, for your service to America.

  33. Ga, obviously Hillary has Low T. ……

  34. A death worth noting for all USA women:
    Lillian Vernon was the first woman to form a company that traded on the NY Stock Exchange (1987). Yes that’s right. It took till NINETEEN EIGHTY SEVEN for a woman’s company to get onto the NY Stock Exchange!

    Ms. Vernon, who had come to the United States as a Jewish immigrant from Germany fleeing the Nazis, began her mail-order business in 1951, and it rapidly flourished. At one time it had nine catalogs, 15 outlet stores, two websites, a business-to-business division and yearly revenue close to $300 million.

    In 1987, Lillian Vernon was the first company owned by a woman to be listed on the American Stock Exchange. In 1995, President Bill Clinton appointed her chairwoman of the National Women’s Business Council.

  35. //

  36. Jeb! promises to leave people alone if they will donate to his campaign:

  37. Yes, NY State makes fabulous cheddar cheese. We have no reason to suck up to the shitty politicians coming out of Wisconsin or Vermont.

  38. Don’t forget to go over there and say hi!!!

  39. I wandered over to John’s place and, apparently, he likes Donald Trump and finds Hillary annoying-so, no.
    Jens Lyon, however, left a great comment!

  40. Oh. I didn’t see that. I just saw Hillary polls. Sowwy!

  41. I guess I’ll have to forgo Vermont syrup then. Oh wait, I already did. NY has great maple syrup too. Awesome stuff at our farmer’s markets.

  42. Yes, with all the dire problems facing the country, we have bloggers who find Hillary “annoying,” as if they were reviewing one of their geeky fantasy movies.

    On a more interesting note, we see that the DNC has suspended Sanders’ ability to view DNC information including voting lists. The problem here is that Sanders supporters such as Greg Sargent see a dire plot. And of course any excuse that these people have to support him for a third party campaign and thus possibly elect Trump or Cruz just to gratify themselves, they will jump at. Also note that some writer at the Guardian thinks that it is VERY SUSPICIOUS that this happens just as Sanders receives a “key union endorsement.” The fact that he is 30% behind in the polls is apparently not nearly as important as this amazing endorsement.

    We know that the DNC was blatantly pro-Obama last time. Frankly, I don’t care what they do, except that if this allows Sanders and his supporters to do their usual railing at Hillary, it is not ideal. On the other hand, they may have taken advantage of an error by a DNC staffer to look at all of Hillary’s mailing lists. It would not help them, of course.

  43. I’m glad to see a site that still supports Hillary. No, I don’t like that she is supporting Barry’s stupid policies…and I hope she quickly turns to the center during the General Election.

  44. Thanks shadow. Good to see you, girl. I agree and I believe, given her history, she will. Especially with respect to terrorism. I will never vote for people who think they are entitled to legislate women’s lives and I’m pretty tired of women being promised the world but given nothing but shit rolling down a slow but steady slope for the past 40 years, watching everything I stood in the rain and snow for be slowly taken away. And I am pretty tired of being “Told” to put it on the back burner for the past 40 years because other things are more important. Nothing is more important than Human Rights. I believe Hillary’s election will change things for women all over the WORLD. That’s no small thing. Do I agree with everything she’s saying? Nope. But I also know that’s how Primaries roll. Both parties are forced to put up with their extreme fringes and we have to sort out the histories of all the candidates to calculate their general election selves.

    When I figure out what I just said, I’ll let you know, lol. Anyways, good to see you.

  45. It takes a great deal of nerve for a campaign to steal millions of dollars in proprietary info from another campaign and then whine about how they are the victims. The Sanders campaign manager, Jeff Weaver, is a nasty piece of business. That he continues in his job after multiple screw-ups and debacles, speaks volumes about Bernie Sanders lack of judgment.

  46. Yeah you left your door open so I took your jewelry. It’s your fault.

    These FOUR people accessed her data over a period of 45 minutes.

    Here’s Hillary’s campaign statement, click for full text.


  47. That data did not just happen by accident. It is the product of thousands of hours of HARD WORK by campaign staff and volunteers. This further cements the image of Sanders’ supporters as leeches who are happy to suck off others rather than work hard themselves. Disgusting.

  48. I just read about the data breach, and am astounded at the bullshit way it is being presented by the Bernington Post and their Bernie freakdom. Upps and Brassy, you are so right! What gall they have complaining that the DNC is being unfair to them. It seems to me the DNC has bent over backwards to accommodate them, especially when you consider that Sanders is not a member of the party.

  49. Can you imagine if the data breach situation was reversed?
    Every Bernout (hat tip to Uppity) in the country would be screaming, “See, we told you, she’s just like Nixon!”

  50. New Sanders campaign slogan: If you miss Nixon, vote for Bernie!

  51. For those who are on Twitter, check out Brian Fallon’s page (@brianefallon). He is hitting back and he is hitting HARD. As Hillary’s press secretary, he wouldn’t be doing this without her say-so.

    Don’t mess with Hillz!

  52. Jens, thanks for the heads up. Brian Fallon is on fire!

    More from Ruby Cramer at Buzzfeed:

    “Hillary Clinton’s campaign is calling for rival Bernie Sanders to undergo an “independent review” following the data breach that her top officials described on Friday evening as theft and a possible “violation of the law.”

    Clinton’s campaign manager, Robby Mook, and spokesman, Brian Fallon, laid out the demands in a conference call with reporters on Friday: Sanders, they said, must provide a full accounting of the incident and submit to an external review to ensure that his campaign aides no longer have access to or copies of Clinton’s data.”

  53. Also from the Buzzfeed link, this quote echoes what Brassy Rebel wrote above about the data’s worth in both money and volunteer time:

    “At this point we still don’t know if they [ the Sanders campaign ] have access to this data,” Mook told reporters, describing the voter ID data as worth “millions of dollars and hundreds of thousands of volunteer hours.” Since its launch in April, the Clinton campaign has focused the large share of its time and resources into a robust organizing program in the first four caucus and primary states, particularly Iowa.”

  54. The bernouts are in full sturm and drang over this whole database thing. Somehow Bernie is the victim and it’s a conspiracy against him by Hillary.

  55. Smoke and mirrors. I just did warrior work for a couple of hours on twitter.

  56. Want to see the log of what these scumbags took?


  57. Well, if the Bernouts think his campaign is such a victim, why did Sanders fire his NATIONAL tech director? BTW, reports are now that 4 people were involved from his campaign.

    Must all be Hillary plants, right? Good Lord.

  58. It was four. THey all accessed the data over a period of 40 minutes or so. Hillary campaign said “They were like kids in a candy store”. If you would take the time to click on the tweet I just put up here, you would see the log of what they did, in sequence. THey went after IOWA data big time. They will use that data to gain on hillary, or at least they think they will.

  59. They are now claiming (they come up with new stories as the need arises) that the other 3 thieves were “unpaid teenagers”. You know, I’ve said plenty of times that I really wonder how many of his followers on twitter are old enough to vote. They seem to infantile in their remarks. Like little snots who should have been slapped a few times in their lives. And I also notice that most of them are white males. You can confirm that but just looking at his rally attendees. Just saying.

  60. Socal I had a suspicion Bernie would start something, if no other reason than his temperament. I believe they should have never let him use the party to run, but then he might have gone indy. I tell these twits who keep saying they won’t vote for hillary, bernie or else, I tell them Go ahead! I hope you enjoy having two or three more Antonin Scalias on the SCOTUS for the rest of your life. It won’t affect me one bit.

    Yes rebel they are leaches. And they get it from him. Bernie never held a job in his life till he got elected. He never had a job till he was 40, and he’s been sloshing at the government trough ever since. Also, he’s a loser but he is going to go down with millions of dollars in his trough, all for himself. Easy money. Lots of it. These Berners are suckers. He is using this theft incident to make more money. No kidding. They stole Hillary’s data and declared themselves the victim. They are that sleazy. They declare that Hillary has a conspiracy with the DNC to bring Bernie down. Yeah like she needs help, considering she’s running 2:1 against him nationally.

    He’s nothing but a crotchety decrepit old white man who probably needs some constipation meds.

  61. Smoke and mirrors is right, Up. They are creating as much hullabaloo as possible to distract everyone from the fact that we still don’t know where the stolen data IS. The Clinton campaign is not distracted. And several people on Twitter have noted that the usually loquacious Sanders hasn’t been heard from all day. If this is his leadership style, it sucks majorly. The guy who claimed his mission is to clean up politics has stood by while his campaign staff runs amok. And he has allowed his campaign to evolve into a plot line from House of Cards.

  62. Here’s what bothers me, Upps. They did this on Weds., thus giving them 2 days to either forward the lists to the state Bernout campaign headquarters or they could have printed the lists, took them home to scan and then forward. With the knowledge out that they got caught, the state campaigns can print and wipe their computers clean.

    We may never know how much damage was done.I keep waiting for Bernie to say “I’m not a crook.”

    BTW, first snow of the season today and will be gone by Sunday with temps in the 50-60 degree range all next week. Thank you, El Nino!

  63. Upps, “unpaid teenagers” could mean they are 18-19. This is such a BS response from the Bernout campaign. Plus, remember that this is the age group that has grown up with computers so to insinuate “innocent little teens” is dishonest to the core.

  64. This is the guy that got fired….watch his eyes, he is so lying.

  65. DNC just caved to Sanders…..boy does this scenario look all too familiar to 2008.

  66. It’s like a hockey game. The DNC put the Bernie campaign in the penalty box for a little while, but now they’re back in the game.

  67. Upps, I read your tweets–they were kickass!

  68. I probably blocked 30 or 40 people last nite, socal lol

  69. Unfortunately NH is too close to Vermont, so he might win it. It is a similar demographic. Not that it matters in the long haul, but it would force us to be stuck with this old socialist fart hanging around longer. Looks like we will have to put up with these clowns till Super Tuesday. Hillary will take IOWA even if they did cheat by stealing her data on voters.

  70. He has agreed to an independent audit, that’s how he got his data back. And they have captured what they need so he’s back in.

  71. Voting don’t worry. The guy is a loser. He barely has a pulse. And he’s a socialist. He can’t hide it. Tonight will be really interesting, and don’t think Hillary isn’t ready for anything he tries. Furthermore, he cancelled his rally last night, had to come home and sleep. He always hides when something big happens. He’s a hider. Tonight he will yell and scream like he always does. Maybe he’s deaf or something, I don’t know, but he is sooooooooooo loud. Let’s see him attack Hillary, she will eat him for lunch, furthermore, he cheated, stole her data, because he’s a LOSER and because his campaign is LAZY just like he is, they didn’t want to do the work, so they stole the work already done by their opponent. And so it will be FUN to watch him blame his opponent for his theft.

  72. Yes, if he tries his usual holier-than-thou schtick tonight Hillary has major ammunition against him. Let’s see…Did your campaign steal? Check. Did your campaign lie? Check. Did you try to avoid all responsibility? ✔. And then did you deflect blame like an 8 year old? ✔ ✔ ✔. His moral outrage and superiority strategy is DEAD.

  73. Bernie will win Vermont, possibly New Hampshire, and some college towns in other states. He has no chance of becoming President. He’s running what amounts to a vanity campaign. It’s the political equivalent of Vantage Press.

  74. Yes, Bernie has been caught being exactly what he criticizes. A lying sack of shit, a thief, a keeper of Lobbyists, and a lover of SuperPacs. He has got to know that could come up too.


Comments are closed.