Yes, Breaking News!!! There’s a shortage in this country! Something must be done. Stat!
What’s that you say? Food? Water? Energy? No, no! It’s much, much worse than that! Brace yourselves……there’s a shortage of Grumpy, old white males running for president!
Shock! Horror! Say it isn’t so! The humanity! What WILL we do??? I know, I’m surprised too.
Fear not, fellow citizens. One man. One brave, courageous man is stepping up to the plate. Michael Bloomberg. Yes, you read that right, Michael Bloomberg will save us. During a crisis of epic proportion! To combat an inexplicable and historic shortage of ego and testosterone. Michael Bloomberg will make the supreme sacrifice.
Washington (CNN) Former New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg is seriously considering a possible independent presidential run and is looking at making a decision sometime in March, two sources familiar with Bloomberg’s thinking told CNN on Saturday.
But we have a strong, intelligent and experienced Democratic candidate already running you say? Sec. Hillary Clinton!
Tsk, tsk, she is just a mere woman, meant for running the ground games and doing all the hard work of getting grumpy old men elected. Plus, she can make sandwiches and get coffee for everyone too!
So now add Mr. Bloomberg to the small but mighty list of potential grumpy, white male presidents of these here United States of America.
Rest easy America. Tuck your children safely into their beds tonight. The White Male Privilege lives on!
I now return you to your regular programming……
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