Welp. It’s Settled. The Lord Has Chosen Ted ‘Beelzebub’ Cruz

Yes, apparently, God Himself spoke to Heidi and told her so. I do envision God having a convo with Heidi about his long-term investments when the subject turned to Anointings.

Behold Beelzebub Cruz’ Anointment being discussed by his own Deadbeat Daddy who abandoned him at a tender age and the sleazy charismatic faith-healing megachurch Evangelist and IRS favorite, Pastor Kenneth Copeland!  More on Mr. Copeland after this word from the Lord who wouldn’t be caught standing next to either of these two pharisees, much less standing next to Ted:

Jeepers, after listening to his phony old man I can only say, No wonder Ted’s not right in the head, his obvious sleazy dishonesty notwithstanding, as dishonesty is a hallmark of Evangelicals.


Would you buy a used car from this man?

Formerly a recording artist followed by becoming *Oral Roberts Number One’s chauffeur, such vast experience catapulted Mr. Copeland into the position of King of the “Prosperity Gospel”.

Yes that’s right. You ask God for what you want and get it. Of course, if you don’t get it, you can always steal it and then just ask God to forgive you. But nevermind. Money and Things will come to you if you follow Ken. At any rate, the Prosperity Gospel sure works for Ken!

copeland1“The popular, and clearly wealthy, Health and Wealth minister Kenneth Copeland owns this gigantic 18,000+ sq. foot lake house on Eagle Mountain Lake in Newark, Texas, just north of Fort Worth.  The huge estate includes the main home and Kenneth Copeland Airport, a private aviation center run by Kenneth Copeland Ministries.  The 25 acre estate is located at 6000 Indian Creek Road in Newark and is named under the Eagle Mountain International Church Inc.  The main home includes 18,280 sq. feet of living space, 6 car garage, various balconies, tennis court, circle driveway, boat docking station built for multiple boats, and much more.  The HQ of the Kenneth Copeland Ministries was built in 1986 just north of the mansion and airport.  I think its fair to say Copeland owns much of the property north of Eagle Mountain Lake!  The appraised value of the home for 2011 is $6,170,400.”

I think the Bible mentioned something about the Money Changers. But that was the old Bible, not the New Customizable Bible so popular among the Charismatic Movement. Besides, Ken speaks in tongues so he obviously is one of God’s favorite profits prophets.

Feast your eyes on Kenneth Copeland Ministries  and then read on about how the IRS prays for Kenneth Copeland and his wife Gloria every single day.

In 2008, upfront and honest Mike Huckabee used Kenneth Copeland Ministries for Fundraising– which resulted in an investigation into Copeland’s and other God People’s Tax Exempt Status.

Additionally, Copeland and his wife Gloria were investigated for other cool things:

The Associated Press reported that Grassley said the investigation was a response to complaints from the public and news media. Grassley stated, “The allegations involve governing boards that aren’t independent and allow generous salaries and housing allowances and amenities such as private jets and Rolls Royces.”[6] IRS guidelines require that pastors’ compensation be “reasonable” and net earnings may not benefit any private individual.[

Care to see what former members and employees of Pastor Copeland’s church have to say about the Mr. and Mrs.?

No wonder Kenneth Copeland is such a perfect fit for greasy Ted.

Bearing in mind that this is the guy who speaks for God and was told by his wife that God says Ted should be President, you may now Go In Peace. And be grateful that one of these Evangelical shysters never got ahold of you and turned you into something sleazy and awful like Ted Cruz.

*Note: Little recalled factoid: Back in the late 50s, Oral Roberts was exposed for fake healings. He would magically “pull” all kinds of gnarly shit out of people’s bodies like magic, mostly from his stock of pieces of liver and other organ materials. And they Were Healed. People who didn’t need crutches but were on crutches were healed as well. Just saying. He quickly moved away from that shit and instead dedicated his life to bullshitting people into believing things like God assigned him to cure cancer (send money). I do remember well that Sunday morning I was flipping channels and there was Little Oral talking about how his Daddy has the burden of curing cancer (send money).  It remains in my mind because he rolled up the pants legs of his $2000 suit and stood right there in the sacred pool, took out his wallet and prayed over it so that all the Faithful would send money. The money poured in! However, the hospital God told Daddy to build  in order to cure cancer never got built. Ken Copeland picked his mentor well.


34 Responses

  1. Religious loons, I’d sooner go to hell than listen to one of their sermons…..fake than that handbag you’d buy off a stall in somebackwater hellhole resort.

  2. That clip was downright scary! This clip from Evan Almighty could apply to St. Bernie of Birds or the Chosen One Ted Cruz:

  3. Can’t forget Jan Crouch’s depression and her dead chicken that LIVED AGAIN – PRAISE GAWD!

  4. Clinton up to 28% in Washington now, she may reach 30+

  5. Clinton doing relatively well and much better in Seattle/King County than in the rest of the state….Dem areas again for Clinton.

  6. What horrible f’ing people. I wish the IRS would crack down on these crooks.

    I’m glad that Hillary is picking up in King County. Of my relatives in WA, only one of them was available to caucus. The rest could not due to work, old age (my mom 86 yrs old), or illness.

  7. I’m hearing something about Bernie asking Jane not to stand next to him when he went to the podium for his victory rally. Anybody see a clip? I’ve just seen screen shots which don’t help

  8. I hae read the turnout for the caucus in both WA and Alaska were abysmal, not justifiable as a way to vote, absolutely shocking levels of turnout.

  9. Fredster, Jan Crouch’s endless wigs of many colors were entertaining. She was a doppelganger for Mrs. Slocombe in “Are You Being Served?’

  10. ROFL on Crouch. Charlatans. Big on Pet Robertson’s show though.

  11. Not only is Clinton close to 30%, but the Huffpo primaries web page says she’s getting 15 delegates (so far I guess) to Sanders’ 18 with 82% reporting. Not sure I understand the arithmetic there but, hey, I’ll take it!

  12. Sweet Sue: More wigs than a drag queen would have. 😉

    Upps, at least with her it was entertaining. Robertson, not so much.

  13. be careful, huffpo and politico include the SD’s in the states,

    CNN do it by ledged only and as Hillary has 10 SD’s in WA so far, it is 18/5 split in WA so far, she’ll probably end up with a bout 31 delegates in WA, giing him, a 40 del gain from WA.

  14. The bernie folk must be having a fit because there’s no live news coverage of this. They’ll be shouting “conspiracy” again. 🙄

  15. Moon, how about Jimmy Swaggert. So Jimmy gets caught choking his chicken in a motel room watching a hooker do herself and He goes on Tee Vee and gives a speech to his faithful idjits and they are crying like babies for him. Now this video has some voice cuts but if you still watch you will see them bawling. Go to about 4:00 and watch the um…climax.

  16. Hello, Fredster, honey.

  17. Hey Upps! 🙂

  18. Yes, those big victories for Sanders which the media went on and on about, amount to a total turnout of about 500 voters in Alaska (Sanders actually won by 435 to 104), and maybe at most 25,000 in Washington. If those states want to keep doing this nonsense, it is one thing; but the media does supposedly have a responsibility to actually put the vote totals on the screen. You’ve got millions of votes in some states, and then 20,000 or so Sanders college students in WA are worth 45 net delegates or so. That’s how Obama did it last time. It doesn’t seem like democracy to me.

  19. link to the 20 sec clip showing The Bern shooing his wife off stage.

    Someone more knowledgeable probably knows how to embed 😀

  20. (Whoa. It embedded itself. This tech stuff is like magic, ya know?)

  21. moon said: I hae read the turnout for the caucus in both WA and Alaska were abysmal,

    Yet here’s the copy from an AP article:

    In Spokane, Washington, a huge line of caucus attendees – largely Sanders backers – snaked around a high school parking lot Saturday morning.

    So yeah…I’d like to have some numbers on these things.

  22. You can tell Sanders is a mysoginistic old bastard. You do get the feeling he does not like a woman telling him what to do or without his permission, it reeks off him.

  23. Washington and Georgia look like reverses of each other……

    WASh has 101 dels, Georgia 102

    Hillary won Georgia by the same amount Bernie has won Wash.

    Georgia was a split of 70/32 dels , so i’m guessing this will be roughly the same.

  24. Quixote, thanks for posting the clip of Bernie shooing his wife away. I hope it goes viral. What a classy guy, Bernie. Looks like you’re embarrassed by your wife. Like regular liberals are embarrassed by you.

  25. Sorry Upps, I started watching the first video of the church whackadoodles…and my mind wondered elsewhere…………..on anything but the sound of these two nutcakes.


  26. Ms. Uppity said of Bro. Copeland, “You ask God for what you want and get it.”

    After listening to that video, he should start asking for new dentures to take care of that annoying “S” whistle.

    BTW: Why does someone have “Welcome” as their middle name if they aren’t in the personal hospitality business? Crazy Cruz the Elder’s name is: Rafael Bienvenido Cruz.

  27. Upps

    caught choking his chicken

    OMG, that is a new one for me. Almost gagged on my dinner. 😉

  28. Sandcrap, ” Let me begin by saying………………”,

    If I have to hear that lead-in, lame ass beginning to every freakin’ new thought that crosses his pot smoked brain…I am going to rip my ears off.

    Only people that savor their own voice, waste other’s time, filling up the airs with his stupid sound waves… Where is the basket of rotten tomatoes?

  29. 2:30 am and not ONE precinct tallied in Hawaii. Shades of 2008 again….

    Thank God we are almost done with this caucus BS.

  30. hey, Upps, when did your time zone change from EST on this site for posts?

  31. Loving the time zone being CA time 😉

  32. well i checked my predicted model against last nights results and its actually pretty accurate so far. It went as i expected last night except for 1 or 2 delegates either way….

    I am still predicting by the end of the whole primary, Clinton will still be around 700 pledged delegates ahead of the old windbag and thats erring on caution and giving Sanders more than i think he gets….

  33. The time doesn’t change automatically, Voting. I have to do it manually. I just didn’t think it was the end of the world. It’s not EST anymore, it’s now DST as of a few weeks ago. I know we’ll all survive this terrible time assault on the blog.


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