(Unless you have early voting and you already voted. In that case, lots of this post will not be literal for you.)
I know that most of you, like me, have been waiting a long, long time for this day. Like nine years. Today is the day we get to vote for Hillary Clinton for President of the United States. We didn’t give up and we didn’t give in. We didn’t quit. We got back up. And here we are.
Under our belts, we now have two election cycles where we were ignored and minimized by the main stream press and bullied by the Dude Bros. We listened to pundits tell us she had no enthusiasm WHILE she was WINNING. We endured a media who let every monumental lie told by her opponents slide by and fact-checked her on the must minuscule infractions. Why, even this: On the night before Election Day, the chyron on the NBC Nightly News was: CLINTON AVOIDS EMAIL ISSUE ON FINAL DAY. The media did not have their thumb on the scales for her opponents; they had their entire fat asses on it.
While I admire and applaud the Obamas and Clintons for their example of going high when others go low, I am proud to say, when they went low, I got in the mud with them and kicked them in the nuts. Hard. Repeatedly. Someone had to do it.
Today, we get even. Today we vote. We vote like we’ve been waiting 8 years to do this. We vote like we might not ever get the chance again. Even if we live in a safe blue state or a hopeless red state, we vote anyway to run up the margins and own a piece of this history. No way the Orange Buffoon is stealing this from us.
And if anyone even looks like they’re thinking about harassing you while you’re trying to vote, call the Feds.
In case of voter intimidation call the U.S. Department of Justice at 800-253-3931 or report it to the non-partisan Election Protection coalition at 866-OUR-VOTE.
Tonight, while we’re here drinking Uppity Drinks, our friends will be partying down in NYC at the Javits Center. Hope they wore hard hats, because this is the ceiling.
The crowd is wild!
And because it’s good luck, we sing our Fight Song.